Best Friends

Author: Katleap

Warnings: angst.

A/N: There are three parts to this and each one is from a different character. I'm going to leave this POV a mystery.

Hurts to Breathe

It hurts to breathe. Sometimes.

Like there is a fist in my chest and it's squeezing my lungs. I can't seem to get enough air. I'm suffocating and no one notices.

My friends. My dear, close friends. They stand next me, oblivious to my struggles. How I am able to hide it from Quatre, I don't know. He has just never picked up on it, not even with his space heart. Maybe his heart has made him blind. Trowa says that personal lives are personal lives. He doesn't do gossip, but rarely misses anything, he simply ignores it until it is brought up by someone else. Wufei has been very busy. Being a commanding officer in the Preventers takes up most of his time.

Perhaps it's best that they remain unaware, because if they knew, if he knew, it could tear us apart.

I'm in love. I'm in love with my best friend. I have been for years. He doesn't know, thank god. He's everything to me and to loose his friendship would break me.

He smiles more now. Those real genuine ones that reach his eyes, not the fake ones that were seen in the war. People say we are complete opposites, but we're not. We both have best forgotten pasts, assassinations and training, streets and churches. We both used masks to hide behind, perfect solider and laughing jester.

We get to spend time together today. A get together hosted by someone I don't know. It's a reunion of sorts from the war four years past. Sally is regaling us with a hilarious incident from her clinic. Laughter is rife within our circle.

We're standing together. I look at him, turning my eyes to share the amusement with him. He's not looking at me, even though his arm is around my shoulders.

His eyes flit over the room, searching for her. The moment his gaze lights on her, she looks up. They share one of those couples conversations, the ones where only a look can convey a thousand words. Her eyes brighten even as she laughs at what her current companion is saying. His lips tug, a faint smile so full of happiness I can't breathe.

Then he turns back to me and I'm leaning on him laughing and commenting as the rest of our circle doubles up. He grins wide and true. Something twists inside me.

He doesn't love me. He will never love me. He loves her. They are the prefect match. I could never come between them because she makes him happy. I can't destroy that.

My own date will come soon and hang on my arm. She's a cute thing and a very good friend. I don't love her and I never will. She's been hinting about marriage and he's talked about proposing to her. Maybe I will. Maybe it will help me get over him.

Maybe…hell will freeze over.

But for now I'm content to be next to him with his arm around me. To pretend for an instant that he feels the exact same way about me that I feel about him. That fist tightens around my lungs and I'm dying. We will always be together, nothing will ever separate us.

Because I'm his best friend…

Sometimes it hurts to breathe.