Hello again wonderful people of Fanfiction! I introduce my first Hetalia fan fiction :DD I honestly wrote this in less that half an hour. It just came to mind and I just started writing, not really thinking about plot or anything. I have so many OTP's in Hetalia it isn't even funny. I have deduced that Spamano is my favourite.

I will be honest this is based upon personal experience from myself and what I witnessed from my friends as well. This may be triggering to some people, I don't know. Read at own discretion.

I didn't really proof read so sorry for errors.

Hetalia©Hidekaz Himaruya

Enjoy~

Prologue

Drip.

Drop.

Drip.

Red dots splatter across the white linoleum. Running down my fingers in small rivers. Bright Cadmium Red. Flowing endlessly from deep etched cuts.

It's strange that even though my body bleeds. Shows all signs of living. I feel so dead inside. A hollow husk, a walking corpse.

I always seem to ask myself. Why am I living? For what reason was I born? I never seem to be able to answer it.

Why haven't I taken my life yet? Because, I didn't deserve the sweet bliss of death. Scum like myself need to suffer, to feel the torment of living another agonizing day.

Cutting was a way of escape. To feel numb yet so alive. Letting go of all the tension, all the mindless worries.

Gripping the razor gently in my right hand, I slowly dragged the blade across pale, scarred skin. The flesh puckered before splitting open gushing out blood. Running down my arm to join the rest on the floor.

Fuck.

I chuckled to myself. I was seriously fucked. Covering my eyes with the palm of my hand from my unwounded arm. Laughing. Laughing at the world, at myself and yet at the same time I hated myself. I hated myself for cutting. Thus I punish myself by cutting. It was an endless vicious cycle. One I wasn't willing to give up. It was routine. I didn't need reason anymore to take the blade, to paint the world red. I guess this is what some may call addiction. Some days I would merely do it from boredom. Others would nearly be the end of me.

I wanted to laugh. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream.

I tried to quit. Except letting go of a dear friend wasn't as easy as one hoped. I wasn't ready to get rid of my demons. It was my only reason for existing. No one could understand.

Was I truly a lost cause? Was there really no hope?

Did all I have left was to drown? Drown in myself?

Alone?

(Youtube) /watch?v=bFQbuKtxfbc - Stay and Drown by Finger Eleven

CEN~