Knives

They called her fat. At first she didn't believe it at all. She knew she had the perfect weight for her size and body frame. 130 pounds was it, and she knew she was fine. She got laughed at in the halls every time some kid saw her face. She just brushed it off. They're just kids in school like she was and they were probably bored.

Things started to get more uncomfortable as the teasing became even worse as the months passed. The jocks, the cheerleaders and even the nerds and geeks started in on her. She was their entertainment. But for what reason?

She convinced herself she was fine, but after hearing the words of 'ugly', 'fat' and 'stupid' over and over five out of seven times a week, she believed the lies people were throwing at her.

She started out by skipping breakfast in the morning, telling her parents she suddenly wasn't hungry and would pick something up at school. She started noticing the other girls around her were skinnier and prettier than she was. She thought maybe if she were more like them, she'd get accepted.

Her friends started to ditch her because she was an embarrassment to be around now and they couldn't stand hanging out with someone who was 'ugly' 'fat' and 'stupid'. In hard times, it's when you find out who your real friends are.

The next thing she did was exercise. If she wanted to be accepted then she'd have to work for it. Hours after school she jumped on the old, dusty exercise bike in the basement her mother used to use before Xion was even born. She started skipping other meals like lunch and everyone was noticing at school. Every day she sat alone, craving for someone to just say 'hi' or 'how are you?'. But nobody ever did.

Self worthlessness was kicking in fast. The happy extroverted Xion was now becoming a shy, antisocial girl. Urges of self harm were bolting through her. She felt worthless. Nobody wanted her around. Besides her parents that is.

They both worked many hours and were only home at nights. Even though they regretted it, they had to have some kind of income to keep them stable.

She wanted to bring that knife in her hand to her wrist. But she couldn't.

"Why can't they accept me?" She thought aloud while tears streamed down her face. She had been home alone for at least an hour and her parents wouldn't be back until eight tonight. The anger boiled up inside her and she gripped the handle tightly.

Just one slice…That's all…

Being cooped up inside all day wasn't helping the fact either.

She set the knife down on the counter. It wasn't worth hurting herself over. At least she was that strong.

Later that afternoon, she decided she would head over to the park. Hopefully nobody from school was there to harm her.

She sat alone on a swing set with the autumn wind blowing around her raven black hair. Seeing her hair blow in her face made the words come into mind.

"Even your hair is emo!"

Seifer, a popular Struggle player had shouted that comment to her on the bus. She hadn't dyed her hair black; it was just the way it naturally was.

A long sigh escaped her mouth as she jumped off the swing. Her and her friends use to do that a lot together to see how far they could jump. Those days were over.

She then headed for the roof of the school and stared out at the large field where sport events were held. She always wanted to play football since a fourth grader, but those dreams were over.

She didn't know what was wrong with her. What made them want to see her this way? Was it because she really was useless?

She couldn't remember the last time she had smiled either. Every now and then she's smirk at something she caught amusing on the internet but that was about it.

Her arms wrapped around her knees as she brought hem close to her.

Maybe she needed to eat less or maybe she needed to study more. But eat less? All she practically ate in a day was a couple pieces of fruit and a slice of bread.

Or maybe the real solution was,

Maybe she needed to die.

It would end her tears and shame.

She vigorously shook her head side to side. No, that wasn't it. She continued to stare out in the distance, thinking what it was like to be a pretty, popular girl.

The sound of a throat clearing interrupted her thoughts and she quickly picked her head up and turned around. The presence of a boy about her age startled her.

"I saw you up here and…" He trailed off while rubbing his hand behind his neck. Roxas was a new kid in school. He hadn't probably heard of the rumors about her being emo and psycho yet because really, who would converse with someone who was supposedly like that? "And… uhm well, I noticed you sit alone in lunch and you don't have many friends…"

What was he going to do? Tease her? If he was she'd take the notion to jump off the roof right there. After all, that was her real purpose of climbing up here.

"Who cares?" She said while crossing her arms on her knees and laying her head down.

"Well, I do." He replied quietly. It was obvious he felt awkward to even be speaking to her like this.

Her eyes slightly widened. Wait, he cares? What planet is he from?

"I saw you get pushed around by that Seifer kid yesterday." He mentioned while taking a seat next to her and staring in the distance as well. "You know, I don't believe you're ugly or whatever those jerks are telling you."

She still didn't speak. This was probably just a set up or something. Her eyes stung with tears at the mention of Seifer's name. She then sniffled her nose as a tear slid down her cheek.

Roxas' eyes widened. "Did I say something wrong?" He asked quickly and raising his hands in front of him as if worried. "I-I'm sorry."

"No…" She spoke softly. "It's just nice that someone is actually talking to me."

He set his hands at his side and smiled and didn't say another word.

Minutes passed and the two just sat there silently, watching the sky's blue hue darken a few shades.

"I've gotta get going." He said suddenly and standing up. "Maybe we can have an ice cream sometime?" He offered while staring down at her.

"Sure." She replied quietly.

Somewhere deep down, Roxas knew Xion had a big heart. He knew that somewhere in her was a light that she wasn't allowing to shine through. And maybe, just maybe he could help her shine again.

"See ya." He said with a small wave. He turned on his heel and left. Each step he took from leaving, she regretted. She wanted him to stay forever.

It was probably nearing two o'clock by now and she should be going home. Her gaze turned to the spot beside her where he sat. Her eyes widened as a Post –It- Note stuck on the surface with the words "I bet your smile is as beautiful as you are." Written in black ink.

Maybe she could overcome this after all.

Words do hurt. Think before you speak.