Maybe he had been too harsh with her. No--no maybes--he had been too harsh with her. What was wrong with him? What was wrong with her? She had gone with Tony, and he had played chicken with her life. Why had she trusted that man? Where was the Sue he knew? The girl who could read people. The one that would rather spend time with him than anyone else. Now, he had to sit in the car with this guy, and try to put his feelings behind him. They had a case. "Focus Jack." The voice in his head spit out the words, but his heart couldn't shake the deep seeded anger--and something else.
There was not time now to examine what else might lie behind his actions--it was time to get to work. Bobby and D were leaving the house; obviously they had not gotten anywhere with Rocko. "Looks like we're up," Jack heard his own voice say even as he wondered who Tony was calling on his phone.
Without warning the explosion shook the car. As Tony shut the cell phone, everything became crystal clear for Jack. Everything about Tony was fake. He wasn't one of the good guys, looking for justice. Rather, he was a liar, hoping to get the credit of a hero by using the same tactics as those Jack was fighting against. The loathing that Jack felt for this man only intensified when he realized that Sue had been duped by his charm.
Turning back towards the Hoover building, Jack silently moved the car through traffic. His mind and heart swirling with emotions that he dared not evaluate just now. Barely allowing the car to come to a complete stop, he unbuckled his seat belt and was headed towards the bull pen, never stopping until he came to rest in his chair. If he could bury himself in paper work, he would not have to think about why his heart was nearly pounding out of his chest, or why he wanted to scream.
Before he heard her, saw her, or smelled her, he sensed her. Felt her presence move into the room. As much as he tried to keep his head buried in his paper work, he had to look up. She had stopped by Tara's desk for a moment, but her eyes moved to find his. Immediately he moved his gaze back to the file in hand. His eyes, however, never saw the words written there. Instead, the image of her face danced in front of him.
As she moved to her desk, he felt her eyes burning a hole in him. When he looked up, their eyes met. This 'thing' that was always between them---that chemistry that was so real everyone who met them could feel it---it was there again. More real now than it had ever been. She diverted her gaze for a second, but the draw was too strong. He knew the feeling--that feeling of needing one more glimpse.
This time, when they connected, he saw to her soul. Her eyes told him the story. Tony had fooled her for a little while, but she knew now. Hurt mixed with regret shown through. The desire to wrap her in his arms was almost overwhelming, but he knew he couldn't do that. However, he could tell her he was sorry. Putting aside the folder he was not reading, he started to get up, but was interrupted by D's voice. He moved his attention to the acting supervisor.
He listened as D and Tony wrapped up the details of the case, but he barely heard. His head not able to wrap around words when all he could think about was the fact that Sue was hurting, and this man in front of him was the blame. Watching Tony, he saw the man begin to walk towards him. There was absolutely nothing he wanted to say to him. If he could haul off and hit him, he thought he might feel better. Keeping his anger in check, he heard Tony's voice, "No hard feelings?" Seeing the hand that was out for him to shake, he nearly lost his ounce of self control, but he knew he had to keep it for another minute.
Standing to his feet, he refused to accept the outstretched hand. "I think you're dangerous. You risked the life of someone in this office we care about." As he spoke these words, his mind screamed at him to change that word 'we' to 'I', but he had to stay professional. "It'll take a while for us forget about that." His eyes were trained on the man who stood in front of him. Hoping to finish the conversation, he promised to investigate the bomb that had blown up Rocko's car, even as he knew that Tony would never be caught. A few more words were exchanged, but to Jack, he just wanted to be away from this man who made the bile rise in his stomach. As soon as the words, "Sometimes you just get lucky," came out of Tony's mouth, Jack knew he couldn't stand here without decking him. "Right. See ya around, Tony," he spoke the words while hoping he never saw him again.
Exiting the bull pen, he headed for his car. All he wanted to do right now was to go for a run. A long run. That was the one thing that always cleared his head. The traffic was heavy, and his concentration was off. Finally, he pulled into his own drive, and made his way to his bedroom. Pulling off the clothes he had worn to the office, he quickly replaced them with a white t-shirt and jogging pants. For a fleeting moment, he considered jogging in a different area, but he immediately changed his mind. Sue was familiar with the places he jogged, and if she wanted to talk to him, he knew where she would seek him out.
From the moment his heart began to quicken as his feet hit the ground hard, his head began to clear. As if a cloud were lifting from his brain, he began to work through his thoughts and feelings since the moment Sue had showed interest in Tony. They had been standing in the bull pen when he had seen it. The girls had been talking about him, but that had not bothered Jack so much. Not until he saw her face. That moment Tony had signed "hungry" instead of "sorry". He saw it immediately. Sue was looking at Tony with that smile. Jack had seen that smile before, usually directed his way. It felt as if a knife sliced into his heart. That was the moment that the slight unease he had around Tony had turned into something else. Something that was deeper--something even now he was not sure he wanted to identify.
His mind drifted through the events that followed. Jack knew he had crossed a line with the party issue. If it had been anyone else, he would have let it go, but it wasn't anyone. It was Sue. If anyone should be working with Sue it was him--not Tony. Then came the clincher. Sue had suggested that Tara be his date. In his mind, Jack realized it was an undercover situation. However, his heart was not collaborating with his mind at that moment. Since the moment she had started working on the team, it had always been him and Sue. They were partners. Never had he wanted it any other way. Never had he considered that she wanted it any other way. They fit together. Another knife sliced through his already wounded heart.
It seemed that his heart would never quite heal when the he realized that the reason for Sue's cheerful mood the following morning, was that she had an "unbelievable" night with Tony while he himself had spent the evening frustrated with the whole situation. Then watching while at the party, as they held hands, and moved together as if they truly were dating. Every time Jack felt as if he could breath, he would catch a glimpse of her--with Tony. Fact was, whether it had been Tony or someone else, seeing her with anyone besides himself was enough to tear his heart out.
Only one time all night did he see the Sue he cared so much about come out. Through the fish tank, their eyes had met. It was a brief moment, but in an instant all the chemistry that had made up their relationship seemed to electrify the room. He knew that the hurt he was feeling could not be disguised from Sue. She always knew what he was thinking, and he was sure this was no exception. It was not enough though. The draw of the undercover agent beside her wooed her back, leaving Jack again to deal with a broken heart.
When Lucy had called to tell him that Sue was with Tony, and then he had found her empty car, the emotions he had dealt with earlier mixed with something new. Then she had not answered his call. Fear became the overriding feeling. What if Tony led her into a situation which harmed her? Terror reined for the next hour while he awaited word. When it finally came, anger set in. An overwhelming, maddening anger that festered through the night.
Marching into the office this morning, he had allowed his anger to come out at Sue. She should have known better. She should have never gone with Tony. It was too risky. It could have gotten her killed. As he tried to control his speech, yet get across his anger, his heart hammered out the words that his lips would never speak. "You should have chosen me."
Now, as the sweat began to form on his forehead, he named the emotion that had become a part of his world this week. Jealousy. It wasn't like he had never felt it before. But never in this intensity. His world had become entwined with Sue's, so much so that he could not imagine life without her. Now he realized he never wanted to imagine life without her. He needed her as much as he needed oxygen. To consider that some guy could come and steal her away frightened him. That fear had made way for the green monster of jealousy to come live with him this week.
Suddenly, he saw her. Standing exactly where he expected her to be. Somehow he knew she would be here. Jogging up to her, he tried not to let the raw emotions show on his face. He listened as she admitted she was wrong and apologized. Every heart wrenching emotion from the week came to the surface. Then she asked him the question...was that enough, or did they need to talk more. Without considering, he threw the question back to her. Did she have something she wanted to talk about? She volleyed it back, once more asking if he needed to talk. For a micro-second, he considered telling her. But, he wouldn't. He couldn't. Instead, he asked if she was hungry. The tension was still not completely gone, not until she said it. "...I'm back." His Sue was back. With a sense of relief, he rested his hand on her back, as they moved together.
Walking towards the pizza parlor, Jack allowed his heart to name the emotion he was feeling now. The magnitude of what he felt overwhelming him. All his great plans for his life had never taken into account that this would happen. Jack Hudson looked at the woman beside him, Sue Thomas, his partner, his best friend. In an instant he knew. He loved her