Author's Note:
I'm new here, so please bear with me as I get to grips with the technique of uploading content and layout of this site... I've been a lurker here for a while, and figured I should give something back to all the fabulous authors who have entertained me. I'd been meaning to write something for a while, but I was never interested in any of my ideas enough to actually make a story out of them. Then this idea came into my head and I just had to get it out there.
I don't know how often I'll be posting as I tend to drift away from writing from time to time. I will however, promise that the story will be completed. I just hate really getting into a story only to find out that the author has decided to discontinue it, so I'll try to upload fairly regularly.
Also, I'm not American, but to stay faithful to the characters, this is set in America. Be prepared to be wowed by my extensive (yeah, right!) vocabulary of American terms and jargon. Oh, and since I'm not American, I haven't actually mentioned any names of states or towns etc. in the story. Incase you don't know, I also happen to suck at Geography :P I think that's about it... Oh, flashbacks are in italics.
Disclaimer: I own nothing except my imagination and dignity... With alcohol however, that dignity goes swiftly out the window, and my imagination seems to go wild...
I do claim ownership of Brooke though. That little cutie is all mine :P
Chapter 1:
I finish packing the suitcase, pushing everything down as I pull the zip shut. I sigh before picking myself up off the floor and move to sit on the edge of my bed. My eyes drift to the picture on my bedside table, my hand subconsciously reaching out to pick it up.
Two years. Almost two years since she was taken from us. I run my hands along the glass over her face as if I can feel her flesh.
"I won't be long, I promise." She kisses me lightly on the lips before walking out the door. "I can't wait to see Brooke's face when she sees them in the morning!" Her face is lit up by a smile as she closes the car door and reverses out of the drive.
I've been with Paige since I was half way through my first year of college. We first met at the supermarket of all places. I had been out the previous night and was feeling particularly hungover and hungry, so was on the hunt for the oreos required to feed my craving.
I had memorised the route required to find said oreos (I need to feed my addiction), so it didn't take me long to get to them. However, I was shocked to see that there was only one packet left and a girl around my age was inching her way towards them. I would need to be quick.
I picked up my pace and made an attempt to grab them before she got there, but as it happens, she had seen through my casual façade and realised she had competition. Our hands reached the packet at the same time, lifting it at each end, which of course, sparked a heavy argument between us.
I gave my input, explaining my fragile state and insisting that she would be solely responsible for the pain I would be forced to endure unless she handed them over. Apparently this wasn't a good enough excuse, as her grip on the packet tightened, and she went on to tell me how her mother had sent her out specifically for oreos to shut her three year old sister, who had been wailing for the past hour, up.
A hungover Ashley is a very stubborn and cranky Ashley, so as heart-wrenching as her story may be, I just couldn't find it in myself to empathise, so I stood my ground and fought for my cookie rights. There's no way I'm letting a three year old steal my oreos from me.
"Fine!" She shouted. "Drama queen! If you feel so strongly about your damn oreos, why don't you come with me? You can fight it out with my sister yourself! You share the same mentality; I'm sure it'd be a fair fight!"
I hung my head, in either defeat or embarrassment; I'm not really sure, the floor suddenly becoming very interesting to me. She walked a few steps away from me before stopping.
"Well?" I looked up. She had turned back around to me, her eyebrows raised in question as she stares at me with her green eyes. "You coming?" I just stare at her, dumbfounded. She sighs before running a hand through her dirty fair hair. "Look, I feel kind of bad taking the last packet. I wouldn't want you to die or anything. God, heaven forbid... Anyway, it could be fun."
So I went, and I met the three year old who almost robbed me and we didn't fight. Actually, she was pretty cool for a kid. Paige was actually pretty cool too. Yes, we actually introduced ourselves properly in her car on the way to her house, and kind of hit it off. In fact, we swapped numbers and began dating shortly after. Her parents sort of adopted me since I didn't really have a family myself. I had always been close with my dad, but he had to go and die in a car crash when I was sixteen. My mother was really only around for the money, so as soon as my rockstar dad was out of the picture, she dismissed her motherly duties and took off on countless holidays, only stopping by a couple of times a year. I didn't mind though; we never got on and my dad left me with a nice trust fund so it's not like I actually needed her. To be honest, I kind of liked living in the house without having to listen to her ramble on about the latest Summer trend. Seriously, you 'd think they'd make a law that forbids old hags like her from leaving the house dressed like that...
Despite enjoying my freedom, Paige's parents knew I got lonely in the house by myself, so let me stay as often as I wanted. Brooke became the little sister I never had, and never passed up the opportunity to come out with Paige and myself, knowing she'd get spoiled every time.
Of course, I had other friends too, but after my father died, I went off the rails a bit, closing myself off from people and hiding my emotions by partying and sleeping around. Those that cared enough to stick around started to drift off when college got busy; we all had our own things to do, and unfortunately, seemed to be going in different directions.
The only consistent friend I had was Casey. Casey and I had been friends since kindergarten. I'll never forget that day she punched big Billy in the face when he stole my juice box. I had been sitting in the sandbox crying my eyes out until Casey approached me and returned my stolen goods, Billy on the ground in the distance, holding his face as he wailed like a baby. I knew then that we would be friend forever.
When I started dating Paige, I was afraid to introduce her to Casey incase they didn't get on. As it turns out, I was worrying over nothing; they got on great! Paige was even invited to our annual trip to Casey's aunt's country house. The house was a good three hours drive away, but it was absolutely huge, and there was so much to do, so we were never bored.
Life was great. Until that night.
It's been almost an hour since Paige left to pick up her parents. The airport is only a twenty minute journey from her house, so they should have been here by now. Maybe the flight was delayed, or they stopped off somewhere on the way back. I continue to flip channels, hoping something piques my interest soon.
Paige's parents had gone to visit her sick aunt for a while, but decided to fly back for Brooke's fifth birthday. Paige had gone to pick them up from the airport so that they could surprise Brooke in the morning when they go to wake her up.
I finally settle on America's Next Top Model as I'm captivated by a petite red-head. There's no harm in looking, right? Paige is out, and anyway, why would I want said red-head when I have her? The wannabe may have looks, but Paige has it all, including a flawless sense of humour, and a brain, which I'm fairly sure the majority of girls on this show lack.
I continue to watch the television for another twenty minutes before I start to get worried. I try to phone Paige, but there's no answer, so I make my way to the kitchen and pour myself a cup of coffee, taking my phone with me in hopes that Paige will call.
I'm startled by a firm rap at the door. Surely that's them now, but why doesn't Paige just use her key? I open the door, coffee in hand, but I'm not prepared for the scene I'm greeted with. Blue lights flash in the street as two officers tower over me in the doorway.
"Excuse me, ma'am. Are you Ashley?" I simply nod as I seem to have lost the ability to speak, looking between the officers in confusion. They look at each other and remove their head gear before continuing.
I drop the coffee I'm holding, the cup smashing as it hits the ground, and hot liquid splashing everywhere, staining the small carpet I'm standing on.
At first, it's like a powerful kick in the gut. Then, it's as if someone thrusts a knife straight through my chest and into my heart, twisting it until I can take no more. Then I'm retching. I can barely feel the hand that ghosts over my back in an effort to comfort me.
"I'm sorry, ma'am." And then they're gone.
I'm not really sure what happened within the last few seconds; my mind went blank. All I remember is 'lorry', 'drunk driver' and 'no survivors'. I sink to my knees, holding my head in my hands as I sob.
A few seconds later, I hear a creak behind me. I turn my head to see a little figure sat on the stairs, eyes wide as she takes in the scene she's faced with, hugging her little white teddy bear to her chest.
I turn my back on her for a second as I take a deep breath and wipe my eyes before getting to my feet and making my way towards her.
I smile as I remember the good times we had before putting the photograph back on the table.
It took me a while to get over Paige's death. Brooke was surprisingly strong. I was supposed to be looking after her, but truthfully, more often than not, she was the one comforting me. She was upset for the first week or so, but one day she came home from school after speaking to her teacher and told me that the three of them were watching over us. I'm sure she mentioned something about a huge party too, before telling me that my dad is with them. Of course, this caused me to break down again, but I soon came around as Brooke threw her arms around me.
The next person in line to take responsibility for Brooke was her aunt, but with her ill health, she couldn't look after another child. Brooke got upset at the thought of having to leave me, so rather than putting her into foster care, all the paperwork was done and I was given the responsibility of being her guardian.
As I was now allowed access to the funds my rockstar father had put away for me, I purchased a small apartment for Brooke and myself, managing to get a job in a little music store a few blocks away.
Casey helped a lot with the move and even managed to find me a babysitter for when I wasn't home. I only needed it during the Summer though; as soon as September came and Brooke went back to school, I got my shifts tailored so that when she was at school, I was working, and finished ten minutes before her so I could pick her up. Truth be told, I don't like leaving Brooke alone with anyone else. Her presence is one of the only things that keeps me close to Paige. If I lost her, I'd surely fall apart; more so than I already had. I don't think I can take any more heartache.
The following year, Casey moved away. Before Paige's death, we had both finished college; me getting my music degree and Casey, business. She had been working in a little café whilst sending out application forms to various businesses, and finally got an offer for some PR work a couple of hours away. We still speak a lot over the phone, and occasionally meet up. In fact, it just so happens that it's time for our annual trip to the country house, which is why I've been packing a suitcase. I was a no show last year as I was still getting over Paige, but I'm feeling a lot better this year. Brooke has never been before, so I'm looking forward to taking her with me. Casey's niece and nephew will be there too, so at least she won't be the only child.
I get changed into a vest and pyjama bottoms and make my way into the kitchen, smiling as I see Brooke lying on the floor beside the sofa colouring in with her little white bear beside her, pyjama-clad legs swinging in the air. I make two mugs of hot chocolate complete with cream and marshmallows and grab a packet of oreos before manoeuvring around the island counter and sitting on the sofa, setting the goods down on the coffee table. Brooke runs over and hugs me before taking a sip of her drink and making a face when she discovers it's too hot. I chuckle.
"So... What are we watching tonight?" I watch as Brooke runs over to the DVD rack before opening a case and inserting the disc into the player. I sit back as I wait for the film to start so I can work out what it is. As soon as it begins, I smile and turn to her.
"Cinderella, huh? Good choice." I wink at her as I sip my hot chocolate.
About half way through the film, we've manoeuvred so I'm lying across the sofa with Brooke on top of me, her head resting in the crook of my neck as she hugs her little white bear.
Just when the film ends, I hear a little voice.
"Ash?"
"Yeah, Brooke?"
"Do you think you'll ever find someone like that?" I smile.
"I already have. I found Paige, didn't I?" She yawns before replying.
"Yeah, but Paige has been gone for a long time. Do you think you'll find someone else?" There's a moment of silence. I don't know what to say. "Jordan said when her mom died, her dad got lonely and he stopped being happy all the time. I don't want you to be lonely, Ash. It makes me sad." I swallow the lump in my throat as I fight back tears. This kid can be so sweet at times.
"I don't know, Brooke. What do you think?"
"I don't know. I hope you do. I think it would make Paige happy." I smile before changing the subject.
"Okay, what's next? How about 'Madagascar'?" She jumps up then, smiling as she changes the DVD before returning to her previous position on top of me.
"Brooke?" I whisper. We're half way through the second film and I'm sure she's asleep. "Brooke?" Yep. Definitely asleep.
I manoeuvre slowly off the sofa, careful not to wake her before gently lifting her up and carrying her to her room. Once she's tucked safely in bed with her teddy, I plant a kiss on her forehead and return to the living room. I clear the mugs and oreos away before my phone rings. I jump to answer it before it wakes Brooke.
"Hello?" I whisper.
"Hey, Ash! How's it going? All packed?"
"Hey Case. It's all good. Yep, I think we're good to go. I can't wait to see everyone. Brooke's so excited; I think she'll love it." I'm still whispering.
"Aww, I know! I'm so excited! I have a surprise for you; I can't wait to show you! Hey, why are you whispering?" I giggle at this. Casey can be such a kid at times.
"Brooke's asleep."
"Shit, I'm sorry! I didn't realise, I – "
"Hey, it's okay! It's fine!"
"Sorry, Ash... I'll talk to you tomorrow, huh? Better get a good night's sleep!"
"Yeah, see you tomorrow, Case. Goodnight!"
Once I hang up, I make my way around the apartment, making sure everything is switched off before making my way to my bedroom. I climb into bed after getting washed and think about what Brooke said earlier. I haven't been with anyone since Paige; I just haven't been able to bring myself to. Sure, I've had plenty of offers; I know I'm not the worst looking girl, but something's been stopping me. I don't know if it's guilt or what, but I never felt right. None of the girls that tried it on with me made me feel a fraction of what Paige made me feel. Now that Brooke's mentioned moving on with someone else, it makes me think. Maybe it's time to let go. I should just accept that I'll never find someone who makes me feel that way again, and just find someone I like who I think I can be relatively happy with. I let my thoughts consume me as I succumb to tiredness, drifting off into a deep slumber.