"You weren't on the freaking plane! You want it, the street cred? The badge of honour? The warrior wounds? Then great! Stick out your leg and I will go grab a bone saw and let's even the score!" Those words have been pressing in her brain for months now but as soon as they're out she regrets it. Her face falls as she realizes how much she's hurt Callie, her wife, her beautiful Calliope, but even if she could take back those words she's already done the unthinkable.
"Ohh no." She sobs into her hands because what's done is done. She's let down the walls she built so sturdy and of all people she let them down for Callie.
"It always comes back to the leg." Callie cries, squeezing her eyes closed.
"I trusted you, more than anything. More than anyone in my life. And you decided to cut it off-", Her voice raises because now she's started she might as well continue. It can hardly get any worse than it already is.
"TO SAVE YOUR LIFE!" Calliope screams, and she's been saying that for months but now Arizona understands it from Callie's view.
"You didn't lose anything! I did. I DID!" She screams back because maybe she does need this after all, maybe it's what she needs to move on. Maybe fait never wanted her and Callie to live happily ever after.
"Apparently, I lost you." Callie says in a rushed tone, like they're the words she's been fighting to hold on. The ones that saying out loud make true. They stand their staring at each other for minutes, wandering how this could happen and what would come next. Eventually Callie clears her throat and walks past Arizona, slamming the door on her way out.
When Arizona is sure that Callie is no longer there she collapses onto the floor in tears. She doesn't care that her prosthetic has come loose and is rubbing uncomfortably on the stump where her knee used to be. She likes the pain because the pain helps cover the hurt.
The blonde stays where she is for hours but the concept of time is gone for her. So many emotions are pulsing through her body, regret, relief, anger, despair. They all tumble together until all she feels in numb.
"Arizona?" Her tired eyes look towards the door where she sees the one and only Alex Karev watching her awkwardly. "Want to tell me what's going on?" He says, and Arizona knows that at least half the hospital will know what she's done by now.
"I screwed up again. My whole life is one big screw up." She states as Karev sits on the couch where her head has just been resting, there is a big wet patch from all the tears she's released.
"You definitely screwed up. I don't know what you were thinking and I was ready to come in here and yell at you until you could give me a legitimate reason as to why you would cheat, Lauren isn't even that hot, but then I realised I really don't know what you're thinking." Arizona frowns as Karev's speech takes an unexpected turn, "Seriously Arizona. You and Meredith and Cristina and Derek all went through so much but Derek got his hand fixed, Meredith got a baby, and even though Cristina went MIA she managed to keep moving forward. We were all there for you but none of us were there in the way you needed. Things are probably about to get really sucky for you and I just wanted to say I'm sorry." He explains.
"I – uh." Arizona tries to find words but she is too overwhelmed by the relief flushing through her body. Somebody understands!
"Come here." Karev gives a sympathetic smile and pulls Arizona from the floor into his arms. Her prosthetic clatters loudly to the ground but neither of them give it a second glance.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Karev doesn't know if the apology is aimed at himself or Callie but he knows it's a sign that they can still retrieve the old Arizona.