It's already twenty years since we met. Twenty years ago, when I felt that I really got a friend of mine. And it's real. Look, we kept going on years lasted.
And you know? Maybe it's seven years after I met you. Yeah, you're not my one and only friend. But since I knew you, I could have many friends. I'm not as introverted like before. I met Tom, Chris, Dom Anderson, and all those amazing people behind our band's success. But that was done with you. What if I don't even meet you? I'm still an introverted, genius bastard. I have too many talents buried inside, but there was you who exhumed it all. I know I have to thank the others too. But you, a thank-you phrase doesn't enough. Anyway, the thanksgiving is not my main purpose.
Yeah, it's seven years after our meeting. I will never forget it.
We grew especially close. Too damn close. And I didn't have any best friend beside you. You were always around me, almost 24/7. And you know? A strange feeling grew inside my stomach. Then it's getting developed, and spreaded to my whole body. The feeling. The feeling that made your body like inside mine. Oh, and rushing butterflies. Pain inside my chest. Eyes that felt like those were going to release tears, but actually not. Got it? I just can't say it directly.
But I know you need to know. I don't care about your respones.
And it's already couple years. I am swear.
Since that all the temptation to caress you, embrace you, kiss you, suck you, grew wildly. But I tried hard to resist it. I don't want a friendly contact-I am starving of love contact. From you.
I know you are a heterosexual. You love girls. Me too, but I am getting mutual just with you. I want you. And it's already years, and I don't think about moving on.
You're just too good to be true
Can't keep my eyes off you
You feel like heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much
At long as love has arrived
Then I thank God, I'm alive
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off you
Pardon the way that I stare
There's nothing else to compare
The side of you makes me wink
There no words left to speak
But if you feel like I feel
Please let me know that it's trie
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off you
That's my favorite song ever to cover. Because you sang there. It's rare. And finally you wanted to sing because I was advicing you. That was me, who could make you do things impossible.
And my stomach should be ready to puke out everything I feel about you
I have to tell you about this. As soon as possible.
"Matt? Matteh, dear, you okay?"
I suddenly get awaken from my daydreaming. I spot Dom snaps his fingers in front of my face.
"Um, woah, sorry, Dom! Lost in thoughts again," I make an excuse.
"Lost in thoughts? For half an hour? Gee, I used to think that you were exorcised! I am really worrying you!" Dom exclaims.
"Sorry then. But I have done this many times and you still get startled?" I say.
"Just five minutes or less. Now is different!" he retorts. "And you seem like...you thought about something that you were desperately want to say to...someone."
Gosh, how did he know? Should I admit it or hide it?
Suddenly I get startled when I capture that Dom stares straight into my eyes. "Tell me if that's right or wrong." he says.
My gaze meet his. I really want to exclaim 'Dominic, you are so damn right and I was thinking about telling you that I love you', but instead I just nod.
I want to explain everything to him. My lips begin parted, but suddenly he puts his index finger on my parted lips and shut it. "No, Matt. I...I'll try to find out by myself."
He wraps his arms around my neck, then he pulls me towards him. Our forehead stick. Although I shut my eyes for unknown reason, I can feel that he stares to me directly. As I open my eyes, he begins to shut his eyes, not removing his forehead from mine. After five minutes, he opens his eyes. I frown my forehead to him.
To answer me, he lets out his hand and cups my cheek, beginning to caress it. He tucks my golden locks behind my ears. His fingers start to wander my face. His touch tingles me.
And I know it by myself, he undrerstand what I mean, what I want, what I need.
He approaches his face to my neck and plants a gentle kiss on it. He bites my neck a bit. His face is still on my neck. He kisses my collarbone. Then he rests his head on my shoulder. I can feel that he puts his head on my shoulder, like my shoulder is his head's shelf. He kisses my shoulder.
He pulls out, then he wraps his arms again around my neck. He sticks his forehead with mine, again. His pointed nose touchs mine.
"I... I couldn't read it clearly, but I know what you want." Dom murmurs.
Yes, Dom. You know what I want. Just do it.
He pulls me to his torso, then he embraces me. This feeling of happines are overwhelming me. I bury my head on Dom's chest, feeling his body smells. His body heat. His heartbeat. I never get so close with him before. And it brings me to ease. I feel like all of my problems evaporate in a second.
After few minutes, he lifts my head so my face now is facing him. Slowly he leans in and I get my lips crushed by his. He kisses me gently, slowly, carefully. I kiss him back as gently as he did. He opens his mouth, and he swallowd my breath. I do the same. Gosh, I feel his warm breath, finally. It brings me to total ease. After a while, we break apart.
"I know the last, but... I think we can't do it now," he states reluctantly.
My mind start to contradict him. Four things I want from you, and the last one is the biggest willing. But then I think he was right. Too sudden.
I just retort him with an understandful smile.
Then we stand opposite each other, silence fills the air. Colaborating with oxygen around. I decide to disappear silence from oxygen's bound.
"Caress, embrace, kiss, suck. Anything else?" I whisper to him.
"I know you sang Can't Take My Eyes Off You in your mind. You thought about our meeting, our...friendship." he answers. Then he leans towards my right ear. "You want more."
How couldn't I realise it? Dickhead. He is my closest friend, and he'd do anything I want to comfort me, to ease me, to make me happy. But I know he is a hetero. He just understand about what I want. I can't be selfish. I know he can't do anything I want. He is just my guardian angel. He is just my Jack Frost. If I was Adam, he wasn't my Eve.
My tear gland do its job. It processes its liquid, and a tear escapes from the corner of my left eye. Suddenly Dom looks concered and quickly but gently wipes my tear. He does not leave his hand from my cheek.
"Why are you crying, Matthew?" he asks quitely.
That was you. You did not feel the same. That's all. If you can read this. I don't have to say it.
I think he reads my mind again. Suddenly he pulls me to a tight embrace. I hear his sob. Then we break apart.
"You are definitely wrong, Matthew. You think that I did those things to fulfill your urge? To comfort you? To ease you? I just could only hug you or pat your shoulder. I did because I want, Matt." he exclaims.
I swear my heart skip five beats. So if he want it, what's the purpose? Rhetorical question.
"Dom, are you reading something I want to tell you in my mind?" I ask him.
"You didn't say it on your mind." he retorted quietly.
And the time, it has come.
I stick my forehead with his. Our eyes just an inch apart. Our nose tip touch. I am really sure to say this. And I can see in his grey eyes, curiosity.
"Dominic," I say. "i love you."
I don't say that words in my mind. If I did, I wouldn't have to tell Dom.
He looks surprised but pleased. "Is that all you refused to say for a long time?" he asks. I nod.
One inch closer, and I kiss him tenderly. Just on his lips. To express my feelings for thirteen years. I don't care if he didn't, I don't care.
It's half an hour before our rehearsal. Finally we break apart, but he doesn't lift his face from mine.
He begins to say that. It's a bonus for me. I didn't expect that. But I know I deserve.
"Matthew," he trails off a while. "i love you too."
I've got my Eve.