I am Jake. Jake Bishop. I used to live in Boston, Massachusetts with my mother Olivia and father Peter. Now I am 17 and I doubt I'll get any older. How can I be sure? Because I'm dying, along with my entire world. I have entrusted my empty shell to write this biography, so he will forever remember his sins.
It began before I was born. A series of events called the pattern. Giant milkshakes rained from the sky and LSD automatically was produced in peoples veins. At least that's what my grandpa would have you think. He's a nutjob, and he and my parent investigated these pattern events. In fact, had it not been for this, they would never have met. Anyway, they came to a discovery-there was an alternate universe. Thing is, my grandpa (in his infinite wisdom) had been there before and stole my father when he was just a boy. This causes=d the membrane between universes to become damaged and these events to occur. In the other reality it was worse, to the point where my girlfriend (so what if I too mucked up reality. At least I follow tradition) ended up with a life threating genetically engineered disease with no cure. But there was hope. A doctor called Ansem the wise…
OR SO I THOUGHT.