That journey had planted a seed.
A seed of concern. A seed of fear. A seed of worry.
And it was carefully tended, nurtured and fed. It was made to sprout, and grow.
And now it consumes me. Now the seed has bloomed into a horrid burden I must carry with me every day.
It was long before I knew much of anything. I was naive and carefree, perhaps even a borderline embarrassment as Princess of Lucis because of how cavalier I seemed to be. Though it was Prompto who's antics kept getting reported in the press, with me an unwilling accomplice.
And it had all started with her.
"Guess who's gotten tickets to Altissia!" she said, barging into a meeting I was having with Ignis.
If it had been anyone else, Ignis would've given them a sharp tongue-lashing for disrupting the affairs of the Lucis royalty. But Prompto had been part of my inner circle for well over a year by then, so she just sighed.
"You actually went through with it?" I said, shocked.
"Yep. Oracle Nyx's initiation ceremony is a go! I really hope I can get his autograph!"
"Well, knowing you, you'll probably go for a lot more than that." Ignis said, the saltiness in her tone evident for all to see.
"Oh, come on. You know me better than that!" Prompto replied, walking over to a nearby couch and sitting down.
"So, er, I suppose we should get around to planning our field trip." I said, cutting in before things escalated. "I've already earned an early inheritance to the Regalia, and that should be enough to get us there."
"Yes, and I don't think you have that much on your schedule this week, Stella. I'll take another look at your appointments and reschedule as necessary, but I think we can work out a two week vacation without any major complications."
"That's good to hear. Prompto's the one who bought the tickets to begin with, so I don't think she had anything on her plate to deal with."
Though knowing Prompto...
"Nope. I'm free as a high-flying bird can be! Speaking of birds, though, there's a Chocobo Ranch I'd really like to check out."
"Ah," I said, realizing what she was getting at. "Sure, we could do that."
"But wait," Ignis said. "Aren't we missing someone?"
A few seconds of thought later, we all felt profoundly embarrassed and ashamed of ourselves.
"Uh, I'll give Gladia a call right now..." Prompto said, awkwardly.
Fortunately, Gladia was so enthusiastic about the plan that she actually persuaded us to push our day of departure forward by a good two days.
Which meant that we had two days to make preparations and get the supplies and equipment. Given my admittedly powerful support system as Lucis royalty, however, getting everything set was easier than I expected.
And so on Wednesday the 11th, we departed from the Lucis Capital, Insomnia, to the city of Altissia.
...and rather fittingly, on Friday the 13th, our car broke down. And our efforts to hitch a ride were futile.
"And there goes another one." Gladia said, as yet another car passed us by. "Thought people were nicer outside the capital."
"Well, you can only go so far on the kindness of strangers." Ignis said, matter-of-factly.
"In my experience, though, strangers in general are a lot more predisposed to help when you're a hot woman." Prompto said, with a groan.
"Yeah. We're hot, and we're royalty!" I chimed in, "Ain't life a bitch?"
"Alright, enough ego-stroking, ladies!" Gladia said. "Guess we're gonna have to push forward a bit more."
"I've already pushed myself to the brink of death! I demand a timeout." Prompto said.
I sighed and got up. "Let's get this over with."
And so Gladia, Prompto and I began pushing the car forward, with Ignis at the wheel.
"You know, Gladia." Prompto began, just seconds in, "This is a great opportunity to show us how strong you really are."
"I am not pushing this car by myself." she replied.
"Well, you could just push it along with Stella there while I grab a drink or something."
"Don't even think about it." Gladia said.
"I fucking hate you all." Prompto said, and I could see her sweating.
"Ignis, any signal on the cell yet?" I said.
"No luck."
"Don't tell me we'll have to go all the way to the mechanic's on our own!" Prompto said, panting.
Fortunately, we were able to call a tow truck from Sidney's Hammerhead gas station once we got some reception again. Our car got towed all the way to the chop shop, and a rather unnervingly attractive man came up to us.
"Hey, there. Y'all really made me bust my ass off for this one. I was expecting a slow day." he said with a sigh.
"Apologies for the inconvenience." Ignis said, though I also heard Prompto whispering "Well, it IS you job."
"Uh, who were you again?" Gladia said.
"Sid, madam Sidney's nephew at your service."
Ah, so that's who he was. Madam Sidney's nephew, dressed up in coveralls that were so unbuttoned we could easily see most of his ripped up bod. Not to mention his jeans, which were literally quite ripped up and...well, you get the idea.
And then someone else came in.
"Princess Stella, wasn't it?"
A middle-aged woman clothed in coveralls with a graceful air about her, Madam Sidney was the Lucis royalty's favorite mechanic. In fact, I'd seen her hang out with my father on more than a few occasions...
...which is why I felt outright horrified when she went on to charge 10,000 gil for repairs. That barely left us enough to sustain ourselves for the rest of the trip, provided we all went out camping and never rented a room, at all.
I strongly suspected there was an ulterior motive afoot with her actions, something that Sid confirmed the moment I asked him.
"Yeah, truth of the matter is, we're kind of short on manpower. You know, for pest control."
"Are you kidding me?!" Ignis blurted out.
"Hey, it's nothing personal. People have been dealing with a lot of crap from those demonic varmints, and we don't exactly get many settlers good at combat, so..."
"So you assumed we'd be up for the job and combat-ready since we're Princess Stella's entourage, and then stiffed us on the pricing for the sake of motivation?" Gladia said.
"Hey, it was Sidney's idea, not mine."
"You're an accessory!" Prompto said.
"Okay, look. How about this. I'll give you a 10% discount, and you can have 1,000 gil back. That should be enough for you to rent a place close by. The local Hunter's Association also has an app used for tracking pest control assignments, and I don't think I redeemed my download code, so you can have that too."
"Oh, I see what you're doing. This is just playing Good Cop/Bad Cop!" Prompto yelled, still annoyed.
"That's enough, guys." I said, and turned to Sid. "Look, if you really need us to help out, we'll do it. But I'd appreciate it if you could be more straight up and just ask us next time?"
"I feel you, ma'am, I really do." Sid said, embarrassed. "It's just that...well, let's just say this is the least of my aunt's...quirks...I gotta deal with all the time."
"It's fine." I said with a smile. "We'll help you out."
And so, after downloading the Hunter's Association app, we went out and did some wetwork for the good denizens of...whatever this outskirts town was called.
Making a note to brush up my Geography, I led the way to the assignment closest to our current location.
It took us quite a few hours and plenty of blood sweat and tears, but eventually we managed to earn back the entire 10,000 gil we'd spent on repairs. We ate dinner and rented our rooms for the night in a nearby motel.
It was on that night, my first one outside of Insomnia, that I first saw her.
"Yes. I've finally found you."
She was a curious lady. Dressed in a dark coat of fur, with a tall hat that covered her head of magenta hair, and a black wing that seemed to be attached to one of her sleeves.
"Welcome, Stella." she said with a warm smile.
"Who are you?"
I was in a wide open field, tall grass all around me. And yet the light of the sun was brighter than I'd ever seen it to be. I suspected I was in a dream.
"I'm an impatient wanderer, looking for answers where none exist. A woman of no consequence."
"Okay." I said. Clearly, there was more to this lady than she was letting on if this was how she chose to answer me. "What do you want from me?"
"I want you to fulfill your destiny, Stella. A destiny that so many from your lineage have denied. I won't let you be lost among your misguided forbears."
"What...what are you talking about?"
"It's okay." she said, having closed the distance between us. She then put her hand on my shoulder. "You have a difficult decision to make. All I want to do is help you realize what's best for you."
"But...but why would you say my forebears are misguided?"
"Because that is the truth. Unfortunately, it's a truth pretty much everyone you know and love is oblivious to. Which is why I'm here." her hands were slowly making their way around my waist. "You live in a cruel world, Stella. A heartless, deceptive world that raises your hopes, only to crush them in the end. I'll make sure you never waver from your destiny. I'll make sure you make the right decision when the time comes."
She then looked me in the eye, with that warm, loving smile. A smile that was longing for me with a desperation I'd never seen before.
And my response to that smile was one I'd regret for the rest of my days.
I smiled back. And I wrapped my arms around her too. I let her pull me close, and I rested my head on her shoulder as she caressed my hair. And as she kissed me on the cheek, I let out a joyful giggle.
"Okay." I said, basking in her warmth and acceptance. "You can help me. I trust you."
And as she tightened her hold on me, I only felt more engulfed in her love. I knew that she loved me. Perhaps she loved me more than anything else in the world. And that was enough for me. That was enough for me to let her in, to permit her to do what she wanted.
"Thank you, Stella." were the last words I heard from her before my dream ended.
The next day, we decided to take a ferry out to the shores of Galdin Quay, only to meet a familiar figure on the way.
"I'm afraid you're all out of luck." she said, her expression matter-of-fact.
"...do I know you?" I blurted.
The lady of magenta hair smiled quizzically, "Well, I certainly am yet to know you."
"Um, who are you, may I ask?" said Ignis.
"Oh, an impatient traveler, ready to turn ship. A woman of no consequence."
"And what were you saying about us being out of luck?" Gladia chimed in.
"The boats that bring you here? They won't take you forth."
"Oh..." Prompto said.
"Yes, I'm afraid such are the hazards of negotiating a peace with the Empire. The common folk end up stranded in the middle of it all!" the woman added, with a sigh.
"Wait, a peace? What are you talking about?" I said, but the woman was already on her way out. And, apparently, ignoring us.
"Hey! I recognize you girls!" another voice said, breaking off our attention.
It was a woman wearing a hat and a dress, with a cheery childlike smile about her. However, I couldn't help but wonder if the timing of her arrival was a bit too convenient.
"Hey!" Prompto said, immediately taken in by her demeanor, "Who might you be?"
"Ah, I'm just a travel reporter, looking for something interesting to write about. Or, in this case, some people..."
"I'm not doing any interviews." I said.
"Aw." the reporter replied with a pout. "And I was about to show you the poem that lady gave me too!"
"A...what?" Ignis said.
"A poem! That lady you just talked to gave it to me, said I could do whatever I wanted with it! Now, I could give it to you girls, buut..."
"Fine, I'll do the interview!" I said, sighing. My curiosity about the magenta-haired lady was just too severe.
"Stella, are you-"
"Yeah, Ignis. I'm sure." I said, walking over to the reporter.
"Atta girl!" she said. "The name's Cynthia, by the way."
"Okay, Cynthia. What do you want to know?"
It was a surprisingly mundane interview, filled with fairly obvious, vague and trite questions such as "What are you doing here?" and "What is it like being the Princess?". There was one question regarding the crystal of Lucis that I was unable to talk about, however, mainly because Ignis promptly interrupted Cynthia and said it was classified information.
But nevertheless, she seemed very satisfied with her interview, and gave me a pamphlet in return.
"So this is what she gave you?" I asked her.
"Yep." Cynthia said. "Really interesting stuff written there! Also, I'd love to chat with you ladies some other time. Here's my card."
She handed me her business card and walked away, remaining cheery all the while.
"So, what does the pamphlet say?" Prompto asked, peering over.
"From the deep, the Archean calls." I begin reading aloud.
"Yet on deaf ears, the God's tongue falls.
The King made to kneel in pain, he crawls.
The savior, the one to heed the Archean's plea, is born."
"Wow. That is some morbid writing." Gladia says, but I can't respond to her. Not after seeing what else is written on the pamphlet. And on Cynthia's business card.
"Stella?" Prompto says, coming over. "What's wr-"
She is stunned into silence as well.
It doesn't take long for Ignis and Gladia to catch up and realize that something's off.
The pamphlet reveals the author of the poem at the end, along with her job description. Allyn Izunia, Imperial Chancellor of the Niflheim Empire.
And Cynthia's card reveals her to be Cynthia Nox Fleuret, Niflheim's Minister of Intelligence.
"..."
I impulsively dial the number given on Cynthia's card. She picks up in seconds.
"Greetings, Princess Stella Nox Caelum. Would you kindly put me on speakerphone for the benefit of your friends?"
I did as I was told.
"Sorry I didn't formally introduce myself back there." she said, sounding as chipper and childlike as ever. "Cynthia Nox Fleuret, Niflheim's Minister of Intelligence, at your service!"
"What..." Ignis says. Her tone was calm, but her anger was unmistakable. "What are you up to?"
"I was just doing my job. As Minister of Intelligence, it is imperative I get to know the lay of the realm, is it not?"
"You...you were spying on us! Trying to learn our secrets!" Gladia said.
"Come, now. Surely if I was trying to pry into your Kingdom's secrets I would've been more aggressive with my questioning. No, I just wanted to see how easy it would be to get you people to open up. To ingratiate myself into your little circle."
"And what was your conclusion?" I said.
"It was a cakewalk!" she said with a cheerful giggle. "The moment I mentioned Izunia's poem, you all completely dropped your guard. And I wasn't even trying too hard. Imagine what I could find wearing another face. Perhaps one that is more sociable and to your liking, Princess Stella?"
"Your taunts and threats will get you nowhere." I said. "Whatever Niflheim is planning, we'll be ready for it."
"I'm pretty sure the events of today suggest otherwise. Nonetheless, it was an honor and a pleasure making your acquaintance, princess. Hope we meet again soon!" Cynthia said, and hung up.
We all stood there, horror-struck at how comprehensively we'd been played.
We did not see Izunia or Cynthia for the remainder of our trip.
The rest of the journey went according to plan. We reached Altissia as scheduled, and attended the initiation ceremony of Nyx Ulric. Noct was there too. He announced that Nyx would become the Honorary Guardian of Tenebrae.
Because we'd just broken up a few days ago, our meeting was awkward and stilted. But looking back at how things turned out, I wish I'd opened up to him. I wish I'd spent more time with him. If only I knew how close I already was to losing him.
But I was naive. I didn't know much of anything. I didn't know about the larger forces that were afoot, that would sweep me up and never let go of me for the rest of my life.
At least, not until I saw her again.
"Why?"
I was crying. She'd wrapped me up in her arms. I wanted to struggle. I wanted to fight her. I wanted to kill her. But I was weak. I was needy.
I couldn't lose her. Not after the love she'd shown me. Not after the promise she'd made.
Even if the promise would destroy me in the end, I was too weak to reject it. I felt needed by her. Worshiped, even. No one could ever be as devoted to me as she was. And some foul, wretched part of me liked that. It liked the worship, the importance, and the attention I was getting.
The very fact that she could give me what no one else could stayed my hand. When I should have screamed at her, I cried. When I should have lashed out at her, I instead held on. Held on to her body, kept her as close as I possibly could.
The only part of me that was working as it should have was my mouth.
"Why can't I...why can't I let go? I...I have to fight you. You'll...you'll destroy everything! I...I..."
"That's not true." the lady said. "You know it isn't. I'm here to save you, Stella."
"No...no. You don't want to save me! You're going to destroy me!"
"Killing you as a mortal would bring me scant satisfaction. We both know that's not why I'm here."
"I...I can't..."
"I'll help you, Stella. I'll make sure you're strong enough. And then you'll be able to do it. You'll be able to fulfill your destiny."
"N...no..."
"Yes." her voice was so soothing. So lovely. She was stroking my hair, and lightly patting my back as if I were a little baby.
I suppose it was more than appropriate for her to do so. What are babies good for anyway, other than crying and begging?
"You and your forebears have been given such a wonderful gift. The last Crystal of this realm, powerful enough to reshape the world as its Inheritor desires. But your forebears were such fools. They turned their ultimate blessing into a crushing burden, throwing away their lives trying to ensure the crystal never served its intended purpose."
"..." My heavy breathing is the only sound in response. I can't even say anything anymore. I'm so weak. Why am I so weak?
"This world is nothing but a cruel joke. Ruled by liars and tyrants who wish to crush everyone under their pathetic boots. I have seen the avarice humanity is capable of. I know the depths people can sink to. How can there be peace when so much evil exists? How can anyone claim to be the ruler of anything, to have accomplished anything, when the flow of time just washes it all away?!"
"Please..." I'm begging. I'm still begging. This is who I truly am. This is who I've always been.
"The only way to create a better world, is to strip it away of the baggage of old, and start anew. A blank canvas, wherein you can paint over all your hopes and dreams. Unfortunately, I will never be able to do that. I have no claim to the crystal. I am of no consequence."
"Allyn..."
"But you are strong enough. You have the mark of the Queen. Not just of Lucis, but of all reality. Are you're a beautiful person, Stella. More beautiful than I could ever be. A world created by your will, through your soul, will be paradise. I know it will."
And she smiles. I can see her devotion. Her reverence. It's all for me.
And I'm too weak to reject it.
"One day, you'll fulfill your destiny, Stella. One day, you'll grant my wish without hesitation. One day, you'll arise as the True Queen of Eos!"