UPDATE Jan-11-09: to those of you who read the fic and probably got frustrated with the lack of line breaks, I am truly sorry. Stupid as I am, I didn't notice XD

Disclaimer: I don't KH, yadda yadda…


Darling Blue Eyes

How I hated rain sometimes. Especially when it meant that you had to cancel your plans for thw entire day.

You can't really control the weather, only predict it, right? I thought with a sigh.

But as I sat there, sipping my tea while cuddling into my thick blanket, I was considering murdering whoever had told me it would be a hot and bright day. It was a perfect weather to go to an amusement park. "Yeah, right…" my hand straightened out the tablecloth.

Oh, well. Plans ruined, too bad.

I started glaring at nothing in particular, unconsciously wondering if I should use a rope or just a good old knife and stab the weatherman for being unpredictable. Come to think of it, he really does look mischievous... hmm... The obvious things to use would be my wheels of course but what is the fun in that, heheh.

I tapped my fingers on the smooth surface of the table - a bad habit, I know, and sighed for the 544th time. I had to find something better to do than counting my own sighs.

A mewl interrupted the silence, and I turned my head to see a pair of crimson eyes shooting me a scornful glare.

"Hello, beauty, nice to see you too" I greeted with a genuine smile. After a little incident back home (which I need to point out was not my fault. Almost) the Organization decided to dispatch me for a while. I got this little house in a quiet and cozy little port to settle for a while. Thing is that it takes hours for me to visit the even closest living member. Larxene, bless her, gave me this kitten to keep me company as a housewarming gift. She thought living here all by myself would make me react by going crazy and paranoid in my need of company – more than I already was, anyway… She had a feeling that must have been how I would have reacted as a human. I wouldn't know. Sometimes, our bodies would act on their own. Make it look like we were feeling pain, anger, sadness, surprise, they said. But I had another theory.

- Or maybe it was because she couldn't control her slutty cats as well as she handleded her daggers. The reproduction skills of cats are fairly good, it seems. I wonder about Nobodies like us. Bleh, too much science to even dare asking number one.

So here I was, sitting in the living room in my own little house with my fully grown-up cat. All by myself. Larxene called me weekly to hear how her bitch was doing but it'd been a while since I'd spoken to any of the other Organization. But I knew they're doing well. You couldn't help but notice them, when they appeared in the in other worlds, cities, taverns... hell, I still saw nobodies running around pretending to be one of us.

I tilted my head, gazing into my housemate's azure eyes. He's a bit grumpy, and ungrateful, but I loved him just the same. He reminded me of him: the eyes, the origin, the attitude...

Roxas...

Resting my chin on my hand, I breathed a barely audible mutter "I wonder where he is now." I heard he was doing great in... What was that place again? Ah, well, the superior was pleased with whatever the special mission was supposed to be. We didn't question other people's mission if they were classified. Unless you were the hot and only lucky number eight. Oh, that's me! I loved poking my nose in other people's assignments which usually resulted in getting my butt turned into a lump of ice, getting my ass whooped, shot or other things that could abuse this sexy little ass of mine.

Another unsatisfied mewl interrupted my thoughts "you're hungry, eh?" I stood up while wiping the drool away. I can't help it, I just love my ass. I made my way to the small kitchen and opened the fridge, searching for something delicious to eat for both of us. After a few minutes a nice smell of home cooked noodles and roasted duck filled the air. I began to cut out some vegetables, humming in the process when I became aware of something brushing against my legs. I was supposed to feel it so my body reacted naturally. I looked down to see my cat purring as he stretched and then looked at me with big hungry eyes.

"You hafta' wait a bit, kitten" I told my companion with yet another smile and I could swear the cat rolled his eyes when he left the kitchen to sit at the windowsill in the living room "aw, love you too darling". I saw him gazing out of the window, where the sky had turned almost black with storm clouds. Soon lightning lit the darkening sky and thunder filled the quiet air of the quiet village. I stared in awe at the show in front of me. To see such a dangerous wonder twist and sneak between the clouds was amazing. I believe my cat rolled his eyes at my amazement, but I didn't care. I could already imagine old trees set ablaze by a strike of lightening. What a piece of art.

¤',~

I decided to enjoy my dinner as much as I could on this gloomy afternoon. Or was it evening? I examined my watch. Eight o'clock. The time flies when you're busy...

I sighed, resting my chin on my hands while staring into a gorgeous pair of eyes.

"Why don't you eat anything, love?" I asked the cat sitting opposite me at the table. I frowned, wondering why he wouldn't start eating "isn't the food good enough? Don't you appreciate how much I've done to make this dinner so perfect?" Maybe I had become too addicted too melodramatic movies…

All I got in response was a scowl. A typical human scowl from a cat.

That would be a rare sight for anyone who hadn't been at my house.

"Well what do I do now?" I muttered when he jumped down the chair and exited the room to go staring out of the window in the living room. What's with him?, I thought, tapping my finger on the white tablecloth for awhile before I started eating. Dinner's best served hot… except if it's supposed to be cold. Ah, whatever, a nobody would not be able to tell the difference, would they?

Silence filled the room for about five minutes before the rain began to tap on my window, creating unique patterns when the heavy drops ran all the way down the somewhat dirty glass.

My cat jumped up with a hiss as a roar of thunder suddenly reached his sensitive ears and lit the room for a few seconds.

What happened next was the sound wood, probably a tree, breaking and falling to the ground. No, not the ground: It was wood clashing against… something softer?

I froze.

Oh, my… could it be a gummi ship?

Without a second thought I rushed towards the front door, flung it open and raced out in the cold and wet night.

My feet splashed in the water flowing down the small hill as I followed what might be the way to the gummi ship. When I finally found the gummi ship, I gasped. It was one of those fancy gummi ships which were modeled for style and not safety. It seemed to be crushed under a big old tree. I rushed towards the wreck in search of any survivors and found to my surprise a young male in the gummi ship. His dirty clothes were ragged from the branches which had torn them apart and his blonde hair was darkened from the mixture of rain and blood from a wound near his temples.

When I carefully drew closer to inspect him I recognized his face, although he did not frown in his unconsciousness like he usually did at me when awake. I trembled when I brushed the hair away from the gash that went from behind his left ear and cut his eyelid. I took off my jacket when I noticed a faint fog coming out of his nose as he exhaled. He was alive! He let out a pained moan as he regained consciousness, but he did not seem to be aware of his surroundings just yet.

"Let's patch you up, buddy" covered in the warmth of my clothes, he only groaned half-heartedly in disapproval when I carried him all the way home.

¤',~

I wrapped him in a thick blanket after making sure I had stopped the bleeding and after replacing his clothes with some of my dry and clean ones (it took a while because I kept drooling all over him, heheh). Then I left the bedroom to find the first aid kit and make some tea after assuring that he was fast asleep. After all, sleep is the best kind of medicine you can get.

When I came back he was still sleeping, pouting cutely like a little child in his sleep.

I smiled, wondering why he had come all this way. It was probably to see me, but… Why?

The question was still bothering me hours later, when I laid on the couch to go to sleep myself.

Was it personal or just all in a day's work? Had the organization decided to make him eliminate me for good? I didn't know and for some reason I didn't want to now. A sudden anger filled my heart and I wanted to kick him out of the front door for interrupting my new and a lot more peaceful lifestyle. Then again, I could not do such thing. After all, I was the one who dragged him inside. And he was wounded. The anger turned into shame as I remembered the wounds from the accident.

"Damnit Roxas!" I hissed through clenched teeth. Tears welled up in my eyes but I forced them back while punching the pillow. How many times had I imagined he would be here, wanted to touch him, talk to him. And now he was here, in flesh and blood, only a thin wall was between us.

I got up and went to the bedroom, opening the door. I sat down and just stared at him. After all this time he never contacted me, not even once. That convinced me that these feeling I had inside could never be returned by him. I sighed, thinking about how emotions lead to stupid actions sometimes. I had come to terms with just being friends. After all, I had quite enough fan material to fantasize with for a while. But it could never replace my real feelings.

I left the Organization willingly because of him.

We were so young then and I was so in love. Sound like a long time ago right? Just out of a fairytale. Okay, I'll move along. Celebrating another victory and the finishing of the headquarters, we all got drunk and just had fun. Yes, a nobody can get drunk and it's not a pretty sight.

Both of us had slumped down, back against the wall laughing. That was when I turned my head and looked at him. His eyes begged for my company, his lips seemed to whisper something I couldn't comprehend in my drunken state. To me it just sounded loving and caring.

I kissed him out of the blue, thinking he felt the same way. He pushed me away, staring at me in disbelief. Then he went utterly cold and reserved again, turning away from me and went to the others to continue drinking. I felt my heart shatter and hit the floor, but when I looked down, only small teardrops had left small spots on the smooth surface. Of course my heart could not break. It had left me already. I went to my room, locking the door behind me and spent the rest of the night in bed just thinking of him.

Since then it pained me so much every time I had to be in the same room as him, although he avoided me as much as I avoided him. One day I couldn't take it anymore and I made this ruckus along with Demy and Larxy, breaking the so called unbreakable bond between the members of the Organization. Broken hearts (or the lack of it) loves attention you know.

He didn't say much when I announced my leave. Actually, he didn't say anything at all.

And here I was. Larxene had asked me to join her in some of her missions, but I had lost all my passion for fighting. I just want to be left alone.

I knew it was stupid. But love makes you do stupid things, even if it was only one-sided.

I caught myself staring at him while sighing yet again. I guess I'd lost count by now but who cares.

A snort was audible from the bed "You look like a moron". Ah, damn him for being awake. I was so gonna' try and kiss him in his sleep. They always do that in the movies after flashbacks…

"Well you look like shit to me, asshole" I crossed my arms, looking the other way while trying to get a hold on the goofy grin coming up.

There was an awkward silence, only the sound of rain tapping against the window seemed to be audible. He opened his mouth to speak but shut it again when my little tiger entered the room and announced its presence by mewling. I gestured it to jump onto my lap and it complied. I stared intensely at the floor while stroking him gently "So… how did you find me?"

"I injected a tracking device in your cat and asked Larxene to give him to you" he stated calmly. Holy shit! Curiosity made the cat a victim. I stared at the little creature in my arms. So what else did he do to my cat without me knowing? Was my little kitty a robot of mass destruction including all the newest combat features and an espresso machine making so hot espresso that practically burnt you away at the mere touch? Cool… No need for my outdated yet cool weapons then. That would be like taking a way one of my hottest features. Like, removing a buttock or…

A sudden smack on my head made me come back to reality "you got carried away" he mumbled.

"But you said that…" I trailed off. Somehow I don't think he would like to talk about the espresso. Maybe he wanted me to 'discover' it and then squeal "oh, Roxas! How considerate of you" and fling into his arms. Ah… Never mind the weapons.

"Larxene gave me your address, stupid"

I bolted right up "I'm not stup- OW" having forgotten the cat I earned some scratches from my furry little friend when it tried to save itself from dropping to the floor.

Roxas rolled his eyes but then winced in agony, feeling up his bandaged head and then looking at his hand which had a slight amount of blood glistening in his palm.

"Let me change that" I started to undo the bandages carefully, anxious about the loss of blood he had already sustained. His eye did not seem to have taken any severe damage since the cut on the eyelid was not too deep. How I had wanted to look into those eyes and see him looking back affectionately. But it was all a dream and it was all in a past I should not dwell in. The silence was not calming my nerves one tiny bit though and I stammered nervously to break this awkward moment "I'm sorry about your gummi ship…" he'd have to stay a bit longer before he could get a chance to go home. Maybe his gummi ship was beyond repair or needed some essential parts to be replaced.

"Yeah, me too" Roxas sighed, biting his lip as if he wanted to say more. Silence took over yet again and I just continued to check the knot before moving on to the small scratches on his muscular arms. Come on, say 'but I missed you even more, Axel-love' and spread your arms to invite me to make love to you all night long. I guess I let my imagination run free again.

"I need to disinfect the wound on your chest" I explained as I began to unbutton his shirt. Well, my shirt. Gah, you know what I mean. I gulped when I saw the first part of his pale torso was revealed. To make the daydream real was really tempting at this point. His stomach was not overly pumped, just as I remembered – strong and curved with a smaller waist. I used to tease him with his girly waist though now he had broadened a bit due to his growth. Hell, he was the only one who couldn't tease me for my swaying hips and probably equally small waist. God, he was beautiful. I found myself staring instead of treating him and he must have noticed too. Instead of pointing it out he merely raised a brow and awaited me to move on. And so I did while wishing my cat would come and kill me with the deadly espresso so I didn't have to blush in embarrassment. Even though what I did to treat his wound stung, Roxas didn't seem to react upon it. No wonder. A daring hand felt down his muscled abs pretending to but the bandages back in place. Hey, I'm just a guy and I have personal needs too. It had been so long since I'd touched a living creature without fur and even though I couldn't feel it I could tell my body liked it.

"So, how are Saïx and Xemnas? They seemed inseparable as ever last time I saw them" I grinned just thinking about it. Back in the days before I left the Organization they were close but obviously shy about their in each other's presence some times. It was only a matter of time before they got together. Master and pet should always be together, hehe.

"They married sometime ago. Don't know when"

"What? I haven't heard a thing! And I wasn't even invited?" I pouted in disappointment. I'll just send the cat after the two of them then, as soon as I find the remote. Why I am still talking about my little weapon of mass destruction? Because it's fun, he he.

"No one did. It was in secrecy so the Organization wouldn't make a commotion about it" Roxas shrugged "You know how it is. But when they finally told me, I realized something I should have done years ago" I frowned and looked up only to find him staring back at me with his piercing eyes. My heart was pounding and now there was no alcohol to excuse any action I might be tempted to do. I couldn't take it. And not the thought about what he found out either.

I got up and brushed myself off "good for you then" I packed the first aid kit and turned to leave "I'll go get your stuff from the gummi ship. The thunder has gone down for a while so I should be safe enough" I needed some time alone and maybe the rain would wash away my wishful thinking. I had barely taken a step before a hand grabbed my arm and pulled me onto the bed. I yelped in surprise at his sudden move. Roxas gazed at me, bending over me with a hand on each side of my head "I should have come here a long time ago… And for that I am sorry"

I turned my head to the side, not looking him in the eye "you could've told me that when I got back you little fool. I live here so it's not like I'll run away from you"

He smiled wryly "You did once before, you know. Can't be too sure now, can I?" yes you might see it as running away but all I did was… yeah okay, I ran away. With style. What did he expect me to do, continue living with the gang and live a life in misery. Yes, some might think that my current lifestyle was miserable and secluded but I had found sufficient happiness living with my cat. Weapons or not, he kept me company which was I all I could want and more. All that was possible to attain, anyway. I had wanted to be with Roxas but I knew that it was impossible to ask for. I had simply given up. Maybe it was good to have something to dream about without breaking the harmony. If we even got together he might just be completely different than I had imagined not that I had put him onto a pedestal and fantasized about him for so many years my version of Roxas was a stereotype. I heaved sigh "can't it wait 'till I've got your stuff?"

"No. I've waited long enough. I know that you've moved on and got a life of your own but I need to get this off my chest" Roxas was very serious I could tell. What could be so important that he came all this way to tell me? If he was going to get married with some chick that had seduced him I didn't really want to be a best mate or anything like that. Not even a bride's maid though the offer would be tempting somehow. How was a wedding between Nobodies like anyway?

"You there?" I snapped out of my thoughts as he waved a hand in front of my face.

"I'm listening" my voice was barely a whisper, threatening to break if he confirmed my worst nightmares.

"I love you"

What?

"And you know that"

Did I?

"Even though you mocked me and rejected me I can't get you out of my head"

"Rejected?!" I sat right up, accidentally head butting him out of surprise.

"Ow, watch it!" fortunately, I hit the uninjured side of his forehead. He rubbed his throbbing head "like this headache wasn't bad to begin with".

"I'm sorry" I looked down hands folded as I silently prayed I hadn't been hallucinating "you just surprised me. I mean… When did I…?"

"Huh?" Roxas exclaimed which wasn't typical of him. It scared me a bit. Maybe the accident had made him hallucinate and not me "you tell me you don't remember? But it was when we celebrated the construction of the headquarters. I told you I had feelings for you and you-"

"Oh, that night I kissed you. But you ran away!" I jumped up and down pointing fingers at him "I confessed to you and then you just made that face" I grimaced, trying to mimic his disgusted face.

"Calm down, don't be so loud, my head is killing me!" Roxas hissed. I was on the verge of breaking down, I admit that. Was he mocking me, was this some kind of sick joke? If that was the case it was not funny. My imaginary heart really broke that evening and now I was supposed to laugh. Sensing that I was shaky he heaved a sigh, calming himself down. He tried to calm me down as well by wrapping his arms around me gently, pulling me close. His heart would have been pounding by know, I could tell by his body language and maybe this gentle, yet intimate gesture was to calm down himself too and maybe gather some courage since he continued on "I thought that was to mock me since you just grinned at me saying 'and here I thought Nobodies couldn't feel a thing' and kissed me. Were you even listening to what I said?"

"I was drunk…" I mumbled into his shirt, shameful of my action. He must have been so nervous telling me and thinking about it, wasn't it the best way to confess your feelings on that grand night? I held him as tight as I dared to. Poor Roxas, it seemed like my pretend heart wasn't the only one breaking. And for such a misunderstanding! All those awkward moments and years apart, was that for nothing?

"I loved you, I really did. Even now as a loner all I can think of is…" I trailed off not sure of what so say. Was it a confession I was about to make?

"I still love you, Axel. At first Larxene wouldn't give me any information of your whereabouts. I persisted for a long time until she was convinced I wouldn't want to hurt you again" That was Larxene in a nutshell I guess, being overly doting on her little test subject. His hands on my back were rubbing my shirt ever so gently whereas I stayed immobile, head resting onto his shoulder "let me be with you, Axel. I'll make it up to you, I promise" make it up to me? When it was my fault to begin with? I felt like the cruelest man on the planet. He did not deserve me. Not at all. Or maybe it was the other way around.

"We were young" what? What were these words coming from my mouth? The dude just confessed and now I was ruining this dream coming true? "We might as well have grown apart. After all, I haven't seen you for so long and…" he silenced me by sealing his lips with his own. It was ever so gentle, so full of all these feelings I knew he did not just show to anyone. Full of these feelings both he and I knew were not fake. They were so real. The wetness of a tear could be felt on my cheek as it made its way down. I could feel there was more to come in my eyes and my sight was already kind of blurred with the excess tears.

I pushed him away and got up, walking to the doorframe before stopping, not turning even once since I did not want him to see the tears in my eyes "You can stay until you have healed and you're ready to go back" and with that, I left the room, not looking at him even once since it was too hard to bear. We pretend we don't feel in our own way. I play cocky, Roxas acts cold. Though we try to conceal it we both know that the pain inside is not imaginary.

It is real.

¤ ,'~

Author's note: This was meant to be a pwp-one-shot but as you can see it turned out differently. Gah, it wasn't meant to be so dark either. Don't worry though, there'll be another chapter with more mature contents I promise.

Now review and tell me what you think. If you have some thoughts about what's to come then feel free to let me know. It's always fun to hear how others think the story will go, kukuku.

Axel: a happy ending pwease

Roxas: you wish.