BOX 1: KANTO TEAM
Charizard: Hey, Blastoise, you still think you're the best starter?
Blastoise: I BEG MERCY! Just please don't use Solar Beam on me again!
Charizard: Admit it, then!
Blastoise: OKAY, OKAY, YOU'RE THE BEST STARTER! YOU CAN FLY, SO THAT MAKES YOU BETTER THAN ALL ON THE OTHER KANTO STARTERS!
Charizard: That's what I like to hear. And I also like that our trainer decided to base almost her entire Kanto Team around Flying-Types just to mock you guys. Right, fellas?
Pidgeot: Okay, Charizard, we get it. But do you have to rub it in his face?
Charizard: Yes...Yes I do. You want in on the action?
Pidgeot: I'd rather not...You go ahead. So, Gyarados, how's that Hyper Beam working out for you?
Gyarados: Pretty good, I guess.
Pidgeot: Ah, don't be so modest. You swept an entire team today, right?
Gyarados: I can't help it. That's my nature!
Pidgeot: Well, it sure does give you a decent special attack boost, doesn't it?
Gyarados: Well...I suppose I do have a pretty powerful Hyper Beam attack. I just wish I were faster sometimes. It's crazy that I can get pulverized by just a Pikachu, right?
Aerodactyl: Well, AT LEAST YOU CAN TAKE AN IRON HEAD!
Gyarados: Hey, it's not my fault that you lost against Steven's Aggron earlier.
Aerodactyl: WELL, YOU COULD HAVE HAD THE DECENCY TO KEEP ME FROM BEING HUMILIATED OUT THERE AND TRIED TO TELL HER THAT YOU WERE ITCHING TO GET
OUT! WEREN'T YOU SAYING HOW MUCH YOU WANTED TO GET OUT OF THE P.C. EARLIER ANYWAY!?
Gyarados: Take it easy, man, you're gettin' all Stone Edgy.
Aerodactyl: You guys know I hate it when you say that...
Dragonite: Come on guys. Can't we all just be friends?
Charizard: Oh, no...He's going to sing that song again!
Pidgeot: EVERYBODY COVER YOUR EARS!
*everybody covers ears...except Gyarados. He has nothing to cover them with.*
Gyarados: SOMEBODY HELP! I HAVE NO LIMBS!
Dragonite: I love you,
You love me,
We're a happy family-
Gyarados: AUGH! IT'S SEEPING INTO MY HEAD! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!
Caesar(NIDOKING): SHUT UP, YOU DISGUSTING BARNEY ADDICT! *uses Poison Jab on Dragonite to stop him from singing that horrible song*
Dragonite: Caesar...I think...you poisoned me.
Caesar: Good, you deserved it.
Dragonite: *faints*
Caesar: For Arceus's sake, what's a Nidoking gotta do to get some peace around here? Oh, well...At least I still have my spot in the P.C. because somebody finally recognizes
my potential.
Pidgeot: Enjoy it now, Caesar. It's not going to be yours much longer.
Caesar: What do you mean?
Gyarados: Didn't you hear? Ginger said she was going to replace you with an Articuno the minute she gets the chance.
Caesar: What!? A-are you sure she wasn't talking about Pidgeot over there!?
Pidgeot: Why would she want to replace me? I'm fabulous.
Caesar: Cuz...you're the only girl?
Pidgeot: Like she'd ever do that for such a stupid reason.
Caesar: Why can't she just use me?
Ditto: Nobody likes you, Caesar. Plus, you're not a Flying-Type like everyone else, so that gets in Ginger's way of doing things.
Caesar: Well , the only reason Ginger likes you is because you can turn into someone you're not!
Ditto: I am Forever alone...
Marowak: Guys, be quiet. I'm trying to regain HP down here.
Aerodactyl: Just give us a minute. Hey guys, can I just put it to him straight? I need to blow of some steam, which means I have to be mean to someone.
Charizard: Go ahead...
Aerodactyl: The point is, Caesar, you are on your way out of the Main Team.
Caesar: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
BOX 2: JOHTO TEAM
Tyranitar: So then this idiot goes and uses Mud Bomb, and Skarmory just looks at him weird and says to him, "Dude, are you, like, drunk or something?"
Starfire(ESPEON): Oh my Arceus, seriously!? What a moron!
Skarmory: I KNOW, RIGHT!?
*all three of them laugh*
Tyranitar: Hey, Rosco! You done writhing in pain over there? We wanna hear about what happened earlier so we can laugh about it!
Rosco(HOUNDOOM): Leave me alone, guys...That Rhyperior's Rock Wrecker was the worst thing that's happened to me all day.
Shaun: You should have used Cotton Guard! That's how I protect myself from Earthquakes, so it'll work for you when someone uses Rock Wrecker!
Rosco: I can't use Cotton Guard. It's not in my move pool.
Shaun(AMPHAROS): Oh, yeah, I forgot. Well, it probably wouldn't help you anyways, your Defense Stat it garbage!
*laughter*
Rosco: Hey, look everyone. (especially you, you stuck up Ampharos), it's only fair that my Defense is flimsy, considering how hard I can land an attack. And I don't want to get all riled up right now, because I'm not wanting to hurt anybody, okay?
Feraligatr: Aw, is our little devil turning into an angel?
*moar laughter*
Rosco: *scrunches up his orange snout and bares teeth* Okay, guys, that's it! I didn't want to have to do this, but you all leave me no choice!
*uses Dark Pulse on Starfire, who happens to be an Espeon.*
*It's Super Effective!*
Starfire: *faints*
*everybody stares*
Rosco: And that...Is why you should never pick on a Houndoom...
Ms. Quaggy(SHINY QUAGSIRE): *has troll face* Are you just jealous that you're not shiny like me? Is that why you guys are fighting, huh?
Feraligatr: Not now, Ms. Quaggy. You know what happens when Rosco gets this mad.
Ms. Quaggy: He tries to learn Solar Beam?
Feraligatr: Yup...
Mrs. Quaggy: Without using the TM?
Feraligatr: Yup...
Mrs. Quaggy: And hurts himself in the process?
Feraligatr: Again...Yup...
BOX 3: HOENN TEAM
Manectric: Days...Weeks...Months have passed...Why won't master use us? Why does she only use Talonflame!? WHY, MASTER! WHAAAAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAY!?
Talonflame: I already told you guys that it's because she's Masuda Methoding right now!
Aggron: Why is it taking so long for her to get that shiny Riolu? Didn't she get enough Pokémon to complete the Pokedex and get the Shiny Charm?
Talonflame: Yeah, about that, she's still looking for Mirage Island 2 so she can hunt Binacle, and she apparently didn't know that you have to Link Trade a Gurrdur in order to evolve it into a Conkeldurr until it was too late.
Mightyena: Exactly how many eggs has she hatched so far?
Breloom: Almost 550.
Mightyena: Dang...That's a lot of Riolus sitting in the P.C. What's she gonna do with them all when she finally does hatch a shiny one?
Talonflame: She's gonna send some to the PSS and some to Wonder Trade.
Swampert: Sounds like a lot of people are going to be getting Riolus when she's done. Hopefully people with ORAS.
Talonflame: Yeah, I'd like to see the look on their faces when those ORAS players see something so awesome.
Mightyena: Yeah...Hey, do any of you guys still remember Maria?
Manectric: Yeah, I remember her...She was the most useless Altaria I've ever seen.
Breloom: I agree. Her Disarming Voice couldn't even take out Sidney's Scrafty! Sure it only does 40 damage, but come on! She was, like, level 95! That Scrafty was only level 70!
Aggron: Not to mention that she barely ever even used Mega Evolutions...She was lame.
Manectric: I know, right?...So Swampert, is there something going on with you and Ms. Quaggy over in Box 2 or what?
Swampert: *blushes* Whut!? No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! We're just friends! Strictly friends! That's all there is to it!
Mightyena: Riiiight, sure you are...
Swampert: *sighs* Okay...Maybe...I do kind of have...a crush on her..."
Breloom: Ha! I knew it!
Swampert: You guys can stop now...
Breloom: Ha, ha, haha, ha. Swampert has a girlfriend.
Swampert: *retorts* Ha, ha, haha, ha. Breloom's weak to Ice.
Breloom: What?
Swampert: *uses Ice Punch on Breloom*
*It's Super Effective!*
Breloom: Dude...You just froze me in a block of ice with your fist.
Swampert: You had it coming. *blows raspberry*
Breloom: WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE I'M GOING TO SHOVE MY SEED BOMB RIGHT UP YOUR SORRY-
Swampert: *uses Ice Punch on his head in order to shut him up* Heh, heh...I never get tired of that. Hey, Grim! How's that Shiny Eevee hunting working out for you?
Grim(ABSOL): It makes me proud that master trusts me with a wild shiny Pokémon with my Thunder wave and False Swipe...even though we haven't found any yet.
Swampert: She said she wanted a female? Like that's ever gonna happen...
Grim: Well, she does put Mr. Sparkles the Clefable in front in the party in order to increase the chance of finding a female, so that evens out the odds a bit more.
Swampert: Yeah, you were built to Shiny Hunt, man.
Grim: In fact, I helped her catch all of the legendaries down at the bottom of the box. Right, boys?
Latios: I guess...I just miss Latias...COME BACK LATIAS! WHY DID SHE SEND YOU AWAY?
Shamoo(KYOGRE): I wish I were home back in the Cave of Origin...
RayRay(RAYQUAZA): Shut up, you motherf*cking sadistic little Absol...
Regis: *remain silent*
Deoxys: Well, it took me forever to get caught and Ginger had to keep soft resetting until she did, so, haha on your sorry furry white *ss.
Grim: Man, don't some legendaries have the dirtiest mouths?
Metagross: I agree entirely.
Salamence: Ditto...wait, but nobody likes Ditto.
*everybody except legendaries burst out laughing*
BOX 4: SINNOH TEAM
Torterra: Anyone ever wonder what Ginger is going to put in that empty spot there?
Avien(STARAPTOR): Maybe it'll be another Grass-Type I can make fun of, jk.
Torterra: What? Is making nests in my back tree not good enough for you anymore?
Avien: Nope, considering that you like it. I need someone to make actual fun of.
Weavile: You two are crazy.
Avien: If we're crazy, what are you?
Weavile: Impish.
Avien: Hey, is it true what the Pokedex says about the Weavile line eating eggs?
Weavile: Eggs? Oh, yeah. They're our favorite food.
Kovu(LUXRAY): What if Ginger puts an egg in that empty slot?
Weavile: I doubt she'd do that. She knows what I like. *holds up Lucky Egg he's holding*
*3 minutes later*
Mr. Bubbles(FLOATZEL): Hey, Erik.
Erik(EMPOLEON): Yeah, bubble-boy?
Mr. Bubbles: I've been wondering something for a while...and I figured you might know the answer to my question, so...mind if I ask you something?
Erik: Sure, bro, what is it?
Mr. Bubbles: Where do babies come from?
Erik: Oh, that's easy, Mr. Bubbles. Eggs!
Torterra, Avien, and Kovu: NOOOOOO DON'T SAY IT OUT LOUD!
Erik: Why not?
Weavile: *having broken his Lucky Egg and is eating it* *eyes widen at hearing where babies come from* *looks at broken egg* *cries*
Avien: Great job, you dumb flightless bird. You just scarred poor Weavile for life.
Erik: Well, he had to find out at some point, didn't he?
Torterra: You are asking for a Bulldoze, Erik! I wan't Mr. Bubbles back on Main Team! You're so insensitive!
Erik: You know you're the worst starter to use when playing through Sinnoh, right?
Torterra: Like you're any better.
Erik: Actually, I do do a bit better than you. Oh, by the way, here's that Weakness Policy you wanted to look at that master got at the Battle Resort. It got a little wet when I used Brine earlier against that Infernape, but it's still readable.
Torterra: I'M GOING TO PUT YOU IN THE F*CKING OBITUARY SECTION!
Erik: Nope. *starts running*
Torterra: *runs after him*
Avien: Well, there they go. I hope Erik gets a hard Bulldoze-ing.
Weavile: *sniff* I...I haven't been killing baby Pokémon this whole time, have I?
Avien: Do you want an honest answer, or an answer that'll repair your mental scar?
Weavile: Please be honest.
Avien: Yes.
Weavile: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
BOX 5: UNOVA TEAM
Haxorous: You know what I've always wondered guys? Who in the Distortion World Ginger picked as her Unova Starter.
Carracosta: I've always kinda wondered that myself...What about you, Zeb'?
Zebstrika: Not really, but now that you mention it, it is something interesting to think about. You ever wonder about that, Krookodile?
Krookodile: Zeb, girl...I don't wonder...I know.
Braviary: Really? Who's she like best then? I wanna know who's gonna take up that empty spot in the front!
Krookodile: Snivy, of course.
Carracosta: Really? That's so cliché. What about either Emboar or Samurott down by the bottom? I could've sworn she would choose one or the other considering that they're the only two Unova starters she has right now.
Krookodile: Well, just because she has them doesn't mean she likes them. She hates Emboars, and the only reason she got either of them was to complete the Pokedex.
Braviary: If she wants a Serperior so badly, why did she release the one she got from Professor Birch?
Krookodile: Pokedex. Besides, she wants a female with Contrary, and you won't be getting something like that from him.
Haxorous: A female? She does know what the Snivy Gender Ratio is, right?
Krookodile: She does.
Haxorous: Then why not go for a much-easier-to-get male?
Krookodile: She prefers the female, considering Serperior's appearance, which she finds feminine. Ain't that right, Zebby, baby?
Zebstrika: Dude...stop talking to me like that.
Krookodile: Was it something I said, babe?
Voice from below: HA! We gotcha good!
Krookodile: Whut?
*Zebstrika fades and reveals Zar the Zoroark*
Zebstrika: You were pretty convinced there, eh, Krooky?
Krookidile: Oh, you guys never cease to amuse us!
Zar: Heh. We probably would have gotten away with it too...if you hadn't started talking to me like the way you talk to your girlfriend.
Krookodile: Must've been embarrassing, huh? Me talkin' to you like that...Actually, it sounds pretty sickening, now that I think more about it.
Zar: Yup.
Krookodile: So, Zeb. We still on tonight?
Zebstrika: Duh.
Everybody: YEAH!
BOX 6: KALOS TEAM
Nacho Libre(HAWLUCHA): MILD NATURE? Puh-lease. How do you expect to take a hit?
Mozilla(DELPHOX): I'm what they call a Glass Cannon, Nacho bird. I may not take hits very well, but I can One Hit K.O almost anything.
Nacho Libre: Riiiiiiiiiight...
Mozilla: Plus, did YOU have Pokerus since you hatched?
Nacho Libre: Whut?
Mozilla: I didn't think so, Mr. Type-Disadvantage.
Nacho Libre: Oh, hohoho, so, you wanna taste my Aerial Ace, do ya?
Mozilla: That depends, do you want to know what my Psychic attack feels like on your tiny little brain?
Nacho Libre: HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT, FIRE FOX!
*Mozilla and Nacho Libre start battling it out*
Butch(TYRANTRUM): Are they fighting again, Grace?
Grace(SYLVEON): It sure sounds like it.
Butch: If I have to go over there and split them up again, I'm going to freaking STOMP THEM! *stomps giant foot*
Grace: Um...Butch...You're standing on my ribbons.
Butch: Whoops. My bad.
Po(PANGORO): What's goin' on, guys?
Grace: Mozilla and Nacho are battling again.
Po: Again? That's the third time this afternoon.
Merral(GOGOAT): Something's going to happen to them if they don't stop their baaaaaaaad behavior.
Po: I know, right? They're like Red and Blue; Always fighting, always trying to beat the other.
Merral: It really makes me maaaaaaaaaaaaad after too long!
Grace: Okay, we know you're a goat, but you know that's not what you really sound like, and it gets on our nerves...
Merral: Crap, I thought you guys were actually buying it.
Butch: Nope.
Merral: So, I hear Pokémon Sun and Moon are coming out in November. Is master getting either of them?
Grace: I think she's getting Sun version.
Butch: New game? Uh-oh. You know what that means...BOX 7: ALOLA TEAM IS NEXT!
OTHER GAME CARTRIDGE: ALOLA TEAM
Soren(DECIDUEYE): ...Grass...Ghost...
Faolan(LYCANROC [midday form]): I know. It's weird that Game Freak would twist the evolution line like that.
Soren: ...GRASS...GHOST...
Donald(GUMSHOOS): What's going on here?
Faolan: Soren's weirded out because he's part Ghost Type.
Salazzle: Ghost? That makes no sense.
Donald: I think his Ghost typing is tremendous.
Kommo-o: Yeah. Sure, flying would have made more sense, but now he had TWO immunities.
Ninetales: And he still doesn't take much damage from Ground, even without the Flying Type.
Soren: IT JUST DOESN'T MAKE SENSE! WHY?!
Donald: It's probably because you're partially based off of the Stilt Owl in Hawaii, which is extinct, hence the Ghost typing.
Faolan: And how exactly do you know all this stuff?
Donald: I just know. I know bigly.
Faolan: *sigh* Um...You don't have anything against the Ghost Type, do you, Soren?
Soren: Okay, now that Mr. Trump mongoose over there has made a bit more sense of it, I think I'm alright with it. But I'm STILL going to have to get used to being hit by those pesky Ground-Type Attacks.
Faolan: Atleast you have a jolly nature, so that should help with your not-so-good base speed stat.
Soren: I...I guess you're right. And yes, I know. Why did Game Freak also make me so SLOW? *sigh* Um...So...Salazzle. Ho-How are those Ground-Type Attacks working out for you?
Salazzle: Two words, Soren. Air. Balloon.
Soren. Oh...Oh, alright. Well, how about you, Kommo-o, and those Fairy-Types?
Kommo-o: Roseli Berry.
Soren: Donald? Fighting-Types?
Donald: Chople Berry.
Soren: IS EVERYONE USING BERRIES NOW ADAYS?!
Faolan: Nope. I've got a Wide Lens.
Soren. Oh.
Faolan: So, how's that Incineroar in the rival battle treating you?
Soren: Low Sweep didn't work out very well, considering it's lacking power. Master Ginger hasn't decided on anything yet, but I was thinking Swords Dance would be something good to put in my Move Set, along with all Physical Moves.
Faolan: What moves are you thinking?
Soren: Well, I already have Spirit Shackle, but I was also considering Leaf Blade and Brave Bird, and I'd like either some Bright Powder to trip up that heel cat, or some Leftovers to heal back up after using Brave Bird.
*everybody ooooohs and aaaaaahs*
Ninetails: That's a surprisingly good strategy!
Soren: Well, I like to brush up on the basics a bit. I'm with Master a lot, so, well...I learn a lot. That's all there is to it.
Well, there you have it. Now you guys know what kinds of crazy things go on in my P.C. boxes in my copies of Pokémon: Alpha Sapphire and Pokémon: Sun.
Nobody gets along in Kanto Team.
Johto Team enjoys making fun of each other's weak spots.
Everyone is cool in Hoenn Team except for the Swampert and Breloom. Oh, and the legendaries.
Members of Sinnoh Team are not exactly friends...
Unova Team members are always either wondering how I'm going to alter the team or pulling pranks on each other.
Everyone in Kalos Team is easily pissed off...And my Alola Team members on the other cartridge are always trying to think up the best battle strategies to use on the competitive scene AND in-game.
This story probably won't get a lot of views, but the idea to make this was stuck in the back of my head for a long time, and I just HAD to get it out before it started to become the only thing I thought about. A review is always appreciated, and I hope you guys enjoyed!