Irresponsible by Fourthiv

Authors Note: I do not own anything Naruto or Naruto related. I also do not own the song that this fan fiction was based on, 'From The Inside' - Linkin Park

Also, although this is in Sakura's POV, mainly about Sasuke, I put it in Sasu/Naru because of the previous two stories.

Wow, I can't believe I finished them. Heh.

italics flashbacks

"See, there's thinking about him, right? Which is what I do. All the time. It's like an obsession. It keeps me going. Like I need that to get through the day because it's an obsession. And if you make it real-it's not the same. It's not yours anymore." - Unknown

My name is Haruno Sakura, Konoha medic-nin. I am the other woman. I am irresponsible, misguided. I am alone, and I accept it.

"10 months..."
"I see. Get out"
"Naruto, please"
"I SAID GET OUT! NEVER COME BACK! NEVER! Go love your happy life with your whore"

"What have I done? Oh god, what have I done.."

It all started with a friendly drink, a friendly pat on the back. I thought I was over him, Sasuke that is. He had been gone for so long, and I moved on. I was dating Rock Lee, and it was wonderful.

Then he came home, and I started to doubt how I felt about Sasuke and Lee.
Soon those doubts became fears, those fears became a constant basis in my life.
All of a sudden I found myself thinking about Sasuke every day. Even when I found out he was with Naruto, I still thought of him everyday.
When I trained, when I slept, when I fucked. He was all I saw. It grew worse and worse.

Then one day he invited me for a drink. Nothing fancy, nothing romantic. Definately not a date.
In fact, he just wanted to catch up with me. Talk about how things were with Lee. How things were with Naruto.
But one too many drinks were had. In a blink of an eye we went from friends to lovers. I still don't remember how it happened.
That night we had agreed it was a one time deal. That was it.

But then, the next week it happened again.

"Hey Sakura!"
"Hi Sasuke, how are you?"
"I'm doing well, and yourself?"
"Hn. I'm doing well."
"Hey, I was wondering if we could..uh..talk somewhere more private"

That day, he told me that he couldn't stop thinking about me. I confessed the same.
That night I left Lee. Seeing the dejected look on his face made me think about Naruto for the first time.
It was a passing thought, and I didn't care much. All I hoped was that Sasuke would leave him too.
Whether it was for me or for his well-being I didn't care. I just wanted Naruto out of the picture.

It didn't happen that way.

For ten months there was bliss between us. He was my everything. I lived, breathed, ate, slept, bathed for him and him alone.
I didn't even care that I was the other woman. In my mind it was me, me, me.
But, 10 months into the affair we were caught. I was so terrified of Naruto that night I was silent. I sat and watched as Naruto's heart broke, as he left Sasuke and called me a whore.
I wasn't even offended.
Deep down I knew it was true. What kind of person steals their best friend's love away from them?

A month later Sasuke proposed. I knew it was because of the loss of Naruto. Because he'd never get him back. I knew I was the replacement and I didn't even care. Not one bit.
But the dream I had of Sasuke was so much different now that I had him to myself.
It wasn't the same. It was boring, redundant.
But I didn't care. I had what I wanted.

I didn't see Naruto at all. Not once after he found us. I was scared for him. I thought that maybe he had died. Maybe he left.
But somewhere in my heart I knew he was locked up in his apartment, safe from the world. Safe from betrayal and the display of fake love between Sasuke and me.

Six months after we were caught, Sasuke and I were married. It was the worst day of my life. I knew it was the same for him.

The next day, while walking through town, Sasuke spotted Naruto. I knew this, because I felt his whole body tense up. Gazing up at him, I followed the direction he was looking.
There was Naruto. From what I could tell he looked hung over; his skin was gaunt, his hair was a mess. But he was alive.
Sasuke made up some bullshit excuse about having to leave. He was gone the whole night.

At day break, I had enough and went to search for him.
I found him sitting next to a passed out Naruto. For hours I sat and watched them. It seemed like time had stood still. That is, until Naruto woke.
Sasuke tried to talk to him, but Naruto turned him down. He even called him by his family name.
It was officially the end for Sasuke and Naruto, there was nothing left for them. Yet, I couldn't be happy.

Things changed drastically after that. Within six months Naruto was the captain of ANBU.
A year later his name was revered more than the three Sannin combined.
There were times when I was sent onto a mission with him. It was unavoidable. He was a machine. A god damn machine.
There were no emotions there. Nothing.
Even if someone seems like they feel nothing, you can see hints of emotion in their eyes.
It was vacant and hollow. He was worse than Sai.

Sasuke became more and more distant. He spent most of his time alone, most likely thinking of Naruto and all that could have been.
There were times when I managed to get him to sleep with me. Perhaps, in hopes of getting pregnant.
Each and ever time I heard him whisper the same thing.

"Aishiteru, Naruto-Kun"

It drove me insane at first, but I kept quiet. I let it be. Now it seems to be something normal.
Sasuke fucks me, wishing I were Naruto, and I fuck him, wishing he loved me.
It was a cycle.
A never ending god damn cycle that I created.
Sasuke did help, after all.
But it was me. It was me.

Now I'm here, holding Sasuke's hand as Naruto is given the title of Hokage. It's the saddest thing in the world to see this.
It was Naruto's dream. But it didn't happen the way he wanted.
He lost himself. He lost everything to gain this one thing.

Watching this ceremony makes me want to run to him, fall to my knees and beg for forgiveness. I'm facinated with it. With everything.
I'm so entranced in it, I barely recognize the fact that Sasuke has left.
Turning my head, I see the door close behind Sasuke. Sighing, I turn back to the man whose life I ruined.

I guess this is where I stand. Doing everything I can to make this man happy.

This is my life. This is my punishment. There is nothing I can do anymore but keep on pretending.

My name is Haruno Sakura, Konoha medic-nin. I am the other woman. I am irresponsible, misguided. I am alone, and I accept it.

-Owari-