Title: Letting go of the Fairy Tale
Author: teagrl83
Word Count: 400
Pairing: None
Rating: PG
Author's Note: Set in Season 1, during "Truth Be Told"
Summary: What does it say about a mother that she chose a man incapable of change?
Disclaimer: Not mine.
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"Wake up, you're not protecting them, you're protecting Paul."
Rita could scarcely believe her ears. Dexter's tone was ordinary, softer actually, so that Astor and Cody wouldn't hear, but the words slammed into her, shocking in their bluntness.
Rita felt her eyes begin to water. This wasn't going to happen. Not here.
"I gotta get them home," she bit off, turning towards Astor and Cody. She didn't look back to see whether Dexter would be coming with them. She knew he wasn't.
Rita walked behind the kids in silence, watching as Astor took her brother's hand protectively. Dexter's words lashed across her mind.
"You didn't tell them the truth about their father…You told them where he is not who he is. He's still the same drug-using, wife-beating redneck he always was."
But she'd been right in keeping the lie. Who'd want a mother that chose a drug-using, wife-beating redneck incapable of change? Cody was right to blame her. It'd been hard enough to look at herself in the mirror when she was with Paul. And it had just begun to get better. She'd thought she'd come to terms that it was him who was damaged, that she wasn't a stupid slut who deserved anything he damn pleased—
"Mom?" She blinked, realizing that they had stopped walking. She looked down at Astor's worried face and promptly faked a smile.
"What is it, honey?"
"Are you mad at Cody?"
The smile vanished. "Of course not."
Rita bent down to their level, brushing a hand against her eldest's cheek. She tried to meet Cody's eyes, but he was still looking down, small hand tightly gripping his sister's. Rita pulled them both gently towards her, immeasurably relived when Cody didn't pull away.
Dexter was wrong; she wasn't protecting Paul. It wasn't the truth about him that scared her the most. It had been the truth about her. The woman who in choosing that man had gambled not only her life, but her children's lives. How could she ever explain, let alone, justify that?
Rita drew away with a shaky smile and sniffed.
"Are you okay?" Cody mumbled.
Rita reached to ruffle his hair and nodded, not trusting her voice. She stood up and took both their hands in hers and resumed their walk home.
Maybe it was time to let go of the fairy tale that people change.
She only hoped they'd forgive her.