Back To District 12.
I felt confused. There was no other way to describe the conflicting emotions racing around my head. There would be no rebellion. Any hopes for that had been dashed already; people were too frightened of the suffering that would occur. Life was slowly returning to the way I had always known it to be. But it would never be the exact same. I had a new house away from the seam. But the biggest change was my life plan. This is why I find myself sitting in the train compartment alone trying to get my emotions in order. It's an impossible task. How can someone love two people? Surely you only have the desire to spend your life in the company of only one other person. I've heard the rumours of people taking on a lover in their marriage but I always believed that was a sexual need. This is different. This is love for each of them.
I hear someone coming down the hall and stopping outside my room, I wait for them to come in but no-one does. I know it was Peeta. He's confused as well, I had him totally convinced that he was the only one for me but he's not. It was survivor's instinct to play the part of loving him. It was such a simple solution to the horror of being in the games I never intended for that part to change so dramatically. To actually find myself falling in love with someone who was going to die, even if I had prepared myself for death. It hadn't mattered that I loved two people then, because I wasn't going to see the other one ever again.
The train was slowing down and I could see District 12 coming back into my vision. It may not seem like much to the people I had met in the Capitol but it was home and I had missed it. Getting my things together from my room, I give one last glance around the room. I'm torn, I like the idea of remaining in this room forever, and I know what's waiting for me when I get off this train. Heartbreak, angst, sadness, confusion, every emotion that I am feeling right now will be multiplied and felt by others. Maybe I will be the only one who feels as bad as I do now, I don't exactly know how the other person feels about me, and I may have blown this out of proportion. I hope not. I love him. I think he loves me. He's always been there in my life; people believed we would eventually end up together. We never spoke about it out loud to each other but we both thought about it. The Hunger Games got in the way. It changed my life. In ways I didn't even imagine. I was too busy trying to think about what my death would mean to the people I had left at home, not about what my actions would cause when I returned. When I returned with another, someone who loved me, an unplanned consequence of survival. Someone is knocking on the door, time to face District 12. It's time to face Gale.