"Now, for a final toast. To your valour, and my old friend Yhorm. Long may the sun shine!"

The Ashen One watched as Siegward took off his helmet to drink from his cup. Somehow, it felt different this time. Maybe it was the way that Siegward had said: "Now, for a final toast." For some reason, the Ashen One had a feeling that Siegward meant something else.

"Well, I'm going to have myself a little nap. The only thing to do, really, after a nice toast." Siegward put his onion-shaped helmet back on. "You are a true friend. Best of luck with your duty."

The battle with Yhorm had been hard fought. The giant's skin was so thick that the Ashen One's weapon could not pierce through it. But Siegward had arrived carrying a strange sword that had the power to conjure up a storm. With each blast from this sword, Yhorm fell to his knees and was weakened for a few seconds. In the end, all the Ashen One had been able to do was direct Yhorm's attention away from Siegward while Siegward dealt blow after blow with his mighty weapon.

Now that the battle was over and the Ashen One had acquired the ashes of Yhorm, the Lord of Cinder, it was time to return to Firelink Shrine. But something about Siegward made the Ashen One stop.

"Wait," the Ashen One said, placing a hand upon Siegward's shoulder.

"Hmmm? Mmmm...oh? What is it? I was just about to fall asleep, but it seems you still have something more to say!"

It was always amazing how quickly Siegward was able to fall asleep, even if he was sitting down in a giant fat suit of armour.

"I was...I was wondering," the Ashen One said. "You know, your armour's shape has always struck me as being rather odd. Excuse my curiosity, but...could I, touch it?"

"Hmmm? Well, go right ahead, my friend! This armour has kept me safe from many dangerous enemies and traps. I'd say it's saved my life more times than I could count!"

The armour was cold and smooth. Tracing fingers over it made the Ashen One realize how this armour could be effective. The curved, layered design of the body piece made it good for deflecting blows. A sword that slashed at the armour could hit a layer and slide off without penetrating the metal.

"Isn't this armour heavy?" The Ashen One asked. "How do you manage to walk around in it? I'd imagine that wearing this armour would make me feel so heavy that I wouldn't even be able to roll..."

"Oh? Well, it's actually quite a hollow armour. Go on, give it a good knock. You'll see that there isn't much underneath it!"

The Ashen One did just that. A hollow sound echoed off the armour.

"I see. Well, that's disappointing." The Ashen One laughed. "Sorry, but based on the, erh, size of that armour, I was expecting it to be quite thick and cushy on the inside!"

"Mmmm...that would be interesting, I s-suppose."

The Ashen One paused. Something in Siegward's voice had changed. He sounded fainter, almost raspy. Siegward cleared his throat.

"Yeah, cushy armour would be great, wouldn't it?"

"It c-certainly would be! Ex-c-cept it might not be that effective w-when you're up against a sh-sharp sword..."

Again, Siegward's voice was raspy. It was becoming harder and harder to hear his words.

"You know, when I first saw you, I thought you were just, uh, fat."

"Ex-c-c-cuse m-me?"

"Sorry! I didn't mean to say that so bluntly. But, well, I've just never seen armour so fat before, so I thought, maybe it was being stretched out by your body underneath..."

Siegward took off his helmet. "Now, now, now. We Catarina knights p-pride ourselves in our armour! Yes, it m-may be rather...onion sh-shaped, but that's no r-reason to start thinking that we m-might be fat!"

"I'm really sorry."

Suddenly, Siegward bent over and began coughing. Blood splattered out of his mouth. Frightened, the Ashen One patted Siegward on his back and offered him some Estus. But Siegward pushed the Ashen One's hand away. A faint smile came over his lips.

"Ah, I was hoping that I could fool you..."

"What are you saying!?"

"My final toast. I was h-hoping that I could make it appear that I was merely drinking Siegbräu."

"Siegward! What are you talking about?"

"I'm sorry for leaving you like this. I have c-completed my duty. My promise to my friend, Yhorm, has been fulfilled. That means...that m-means if I were to keep living, I would eventually go Hollow." Siegward shook his head. More blood came pouring out of his mouth.

"You don't mean...Siegward..."

"Yes. I have ingested poison. This particular p-poison is extremely potent, made in Catarina. It can exterminate the f-fire within us ash...and so I will never resurrect after I die this time..."

"Siegward!"

The Ashen One knelt down in front of him.

"I'm sorry, friend." Siegward raised a hand weakly and placed it gently over the Ashen One's head. "I know. The two of us h-have perhaps grown close over the course of our journeys. It was s-selfish of me to leave like this."

Siegward's voice grew so weak, so raspy, that the Ashen One had to lean towards him in order to hear him speak.

"In a few m-moments, the poison will have taken over my body...completely..."

"Siegward. Don't go..."

"I have to s-say goodbye, now." Siegward closed his eyes. "But...we had fun times t-together, didn't we? It was a good journey."

His head and hand became limp.

The Ashen One remained still, kneeling in front of Siegward for several minutes. Siegward's body slowly faded into grey ash. Soon, his armour, sword, and shield was all that remained of him.

With a final sigh, the Ashen One picked up the armour and tried it on.

It was a surprisingly comfortable fit.

"Goodbye, Siegward."

A smile came over the Ashen One's face.

"I'll carry on your legacy..."

The Ashen One stood up, grinning. The only problem was that the weight was over seventy percent, making every roll a struggle. But everyone knew that fashion was what counts. Just pay Rosaria a visit to respec some Vitality.

Time to invade Pontiff's and wreck some hosts, onion style.