Knights of the Old Republic:
Left Hand of darkness
Disclaimer: I decided to write this story about Revan's past after playing both Kotor I and II for the first time. The title comes from Ursula Le Guin's book, "Left hand of Darkness" and I chose that title because it exemplifies the balance of light and dark within Revan's heart. This is my first fan fiction story so it may not be up to expectations. Despite that fact, I hope you guys enjoy the story and review it with some comments and critique. I will continue writing chapters when I have time but I would still like feedback about the direction of this story so I can fine tune things.Finally, I do not own Lucas Arts or the characters they conjure up.
For days Carth sat by the windowside, caressing the circular holovideo as he stared into outer space, hoping to find his star in the sea of darkness. He never could... since she left him as fast and brightly as a shooting star. All Revan left him was that holovid that he had not opened yet. He at first did not dare to open it for the action would show the reality of her departure. She left without warning, without saying goodbye. He kept repeating those words in his head hoping to find the answer. Nothing came out of it.
However, what if she left him something important in the holovid? Was he that scared to face the truth after all he has experienced? He needed to know the truth not the lies that clouded his head. He pressed the button and the holovid began to emit a familiar shape that was real, almost real. The shape began to speak:
Carth, I hope you are seeing this for I have something to show you that may account for my decision to leave you for the unknown regions. I want to start off by saying that I still love you. My words may ring hallow but do not for one second, question my feelings for you!
That may have been harsh, I apologize. I know you never did question my love.
I just tried to... push you away.
It is hard to describe... but as more memories came back to me, I had to protect you from me.
I apologize for bringing up my Sith past and making our relationship tenuous at best. I had to so that my decision to leave you would be easier. However, you saw through that didn't you? You at first reacted adversely, trying to denounce the horrific things I have done in the past. We argued for hours until I felt the energy drained away from me, no longer having the will to carry on with my deception. I cried because I tried to end our relationship but deep down I could not bear the agony of losing you. You saw this and embraced me tighter and tighter. I could feel your radiant heat carousing my deadened body, trying to calm me…trying to show me that I am not my past. I so wished this moment could last forever: us together in perpetual time with no worries, no responsibilities but I knew that was impossible.
My past shapes who I am. I at first tried to identify myself as Padme Organo not Revan for it worked well during our adventures against Malak. However, the memories kept pouring back showing me why I did what I did and what I must do now. You think I am crazy for forsaking everything: my duty to the Republic and to you, my love. I, regrettably, have one final task I must do and it may be the end of me. I have uploaded my memories onto dairy entries within this holovid program in hopes you understand why I must go.
Revan's hologram began to flutter in and out of existence. Carth stared at the little circular piece still grasped tightly in his hands. The only thing that was running through his head was her but her image was slowly fading away replaced with anger and guilt. He threw the holovid across the room and blurted out,
" Why?! Why?! I still don't understand. If there is a demon that you need to overcome, I will be right at your side. You do not have to shut me out… I am always there for you." His head leaned on the wall as tears streamed down his cheeks.
"I love you… I love you…" He stammered as he sheepishly pounded the wall with his fists. Suddenly the holovid began to emit a static electrical sound. Revan's image rematerialized and began to tell its story.
The prologue takes place after the first knight of the old Republic while the subsequent entries will take place way before the first game if my storytelling was not clear enough.