A/N: Hey, so this is another story that's been the vault. It's finally broke free. Please be aware it is not full of hearts and flowers. It's dark and gritty with mentions of physical, sexual and mental abuse. So, if you're willing to share the ride, please board the crazy train!

The music on the radio was upbeat and thankfully non-classical. Don't get me wrong, I love the Classics – even Debussy – but I need variety. I increased the volume and let the words of Lily Allen consume me…

Oh he treats me with respect
He says he loves me all the time
He calls me fifteen times a day
He likes to make sure that I'm fine

You know I've never met a man
Who's made me feel quite so secure
He's not like all them other boys
They're all so dumb and immature

There's just one thing
That's getting in the way
When we go up to bed
You're just no good
It's such a shame

I look into your eyes
I want to get to know you
And then you make this noise
And it's apparent it's all over

It's not fair
And I think you're really mean
I think you're really mean
I think you're really mean

Oh, you're supposed to care
That you never make me scream
You never make me scream

Oh, it's not fair
And it's really not ok
It's really not ok
It's really not ok

Oh, you're supposed to care
But all you do is take
Yeah all you do is take

Oh I lie here in the wet patch
In the middle of the bed
I'm feeling pretty damn hard done by
I spent ages giving head

Then I remember all the nice things
That you've ever said to me
Maybe I'm just overreacting
Maybe you're the one for me

There's just one thing
That's getting in the way
When we go up to bed
You're just no good
It's such a shame

I look into your eyes
I want to get to know you
And then you make this noise
And it's apparent it's all over

It's not fair
And I think you're really mean
I think you're really mean
I think you're really mean

Oh, you're supposed to care
That you never make me scream
You never make me scream

Oh, it's not fair
And it's really not ok
It's really not ok
It's really not ok

Oh, you're supposed to care
But all you do is take
Yeah all you do is take

There's just one thing
That's getting in the way
When we go up to bed
You're just no good
It's such a shame

I look into your eyes
I want to get to know you
And then you make this noise
And it's apparent it's all over

It's not fair
And I think you're really mean
I think you're really mean
I think you're really mean

Oh, you're supposed to care
That you never make me scream
You never make me scream

Oh, it's not fair
And it's really not ok
It's really not ok
It's really not ok

Oh, you're supposed to care
But all you do is take
Yeah all you do is take

I almost felt sorry for the guy. Clearly, he had intimacy issues. , but in all other respects, he was perfect. Like Edward…

XxX

"So, are there any guys there?"

"Mom, please!"

"Bella, it's just a question and…"

A familiar oomph sounded outside my bedroom. My heart began to race as Edward's face came into view. I forgot my mom was on the line. I forgot that we were in my room. All I knew was that Edward was hot and I wanted him…

Edward's smile made me melt all over…

He sank onto the bed, his fingers gentle against my cheek. "Your mother."

I blinked. "My mother?"

He motioned the phone. Gah! "Mom, I gotta go!"

Renee's voice narrowed at the turn in her daughter's voice. "Wait, we've gotta talk boys. Are you being safe?"

I hung up.

Edward crooned. "I'm sorry, Love, you didn't have to end your conversation with your mother."

He really was perfect! I bit my lip as I moved closer, my legs wrapping over his. Grabbing his shirt, I pulled his lips to mine. His hands came about my head, his fingers running through my hair. I felt his hands on my arms, pushing me away.

"Bella what are you…"

I knew then that this would be our night. The first of many together. Tonight, Edward would be mine!

I felt my body crawl over until I was on his lap, my lips on his.

For a moment, his lips stilled then his hands were in my hair, gripping closer. His other hand felt cold against my stomach but the contrast between our bodies was enticing. I heard myself giggle as Edward proved less than skilful at removing our clothes. He growled in frustration but I didn't care. I liked him this way!

I felt the bed against my back and looked up into the eyes I loved so much. Everything about him drew me in, his scent, those eyes…

It was pheromones at their best!

Finally, I would know what the other girls were talking about. Of course, I wouldn't make Angela uncomfortable but it was good to know I'd have the edge…

The headboard cracked as against my back. I blinked and when I looked up, his eyes were bright red and glowing.

The next moment, he was across the room, in that damn rocking chair, his posture more stiff than ever. The rejection hurt, but this was only the beginning. I crawled to the edge of the bed, his hand coming up to stop me.

"We can't. I'll hurt you!"

I sank back on my feet, the desire waning. "All girls hurt the first time."

I slipped off the bed and moved closer. Those eyes that had been so inviting seconds ago were now cold. He was pushing me away whilst drawing me in and I couldn't help but follow…

I felt the bed underneath me as Edward's hand clasped both of my wrists, tight, his weight pushing me down. His other hand was at my neck, tracing the curves that made me a woman.

"Is this what you want? To be treated like a whore?"

His voice was ice-cold and I tried to move but his grip tightened. "Edward…"

"Whores beg, ladies don't." His voice bit the words out, stinging me deep.

Something in me screamed to get away and I kicked out, not caring if I broke a bone.

"Get off me!"

He smirked, his nose tracing my scent.

"Edward!"

I blinked and saw him across the room once more.

His eyes were penitent but I didn't care. "Bella, I'm sorry, I…"

"Stay away from me. I mean it, get out!"

His eyes were wide with disbelief. "Bella?"

"Get out, Get out!"

He looked over his shoulder one more time, pleading with me, begging me to let him stay but I couldn't. I felt my knees touch the floor as the tears gave way.

XxX

When morning came, there were a dozen messages, mainly from him. His face last night appeared, only this time with drops of blood emerging on the edge of his sharp fangs.

I shook my head and set about my morning routine, the shower hiding my sobs.

When the water ran clear, I dressed and grabbed my things and a pop-tart and went to the truck.

I was too late for the pool besides; my arms were nearly black where Edward's hands had been. If I stopped to think about it, I could still feel his hands on me now, his eyes blood red and cold.

But there was no time for that now.

XxX

All day, I longed for the serenity of the cold water and a sharp, clear dive…My aching body needed the salvation. Instead I had to make do with a shower.

The water soothed but didn't wash away my hurt. Flashes of the night before struck me down until I was a pathetic creature in the base of the shower.

His eyes were the worst. They haunted my dreams and I knew I wouldn't sleep tonight.

That night, I couldn't help thinking, why I pushed so hard. I've never been overtly flirtatious. I'm well aware that my mom had her suspicions about me. Boys were never on my radar. After Mom saw I would never be a prima ballerina, we tried several activities, until swimming entered my life. From that first moment I jumped in and felt the water cascade down my body, I knew I'd found my calling. Swimming became my one constant. No matter where we moved, the pool was always my first priority. Renee could have her Macramé, Street-Dance or Bingo, as long as I could have the pool.

Unpaid bills and eviction warnings ceased to exist as I glided through the water, acing my levels and the life guard examination. Then when they offered me the chance to coach, well, it was the best day of my life.

I haven't done much swimming since I arrived. I've been too obsessed with the Cullens.

Well no more. I want my life back!