Anyway, I don't really know where this story came from, I thought of the plot-ish thing when I read chapter 126, and when I took a shower. --
Okies, back to the chapter. This is actually my first Tsubasa fanfic, so… go easy on me:D
Disclaimer: If I was a part of CLAMP, then yes, I would own Tsubasa, and the ever-so-adorable Fay D. Flourite would be miiiiiiiine! I would also be filthy rich, but the manga would never have gotten so popular. Make of this what you will.
I also really have no idea how to spell Fay's name. Personally, I'm thinking it's spelled Fay D. Flourite, but I've seen Fai D. Flowright and Fye D. Flowright and several combinations of these and even more. (In fact, the only thing solid about his name is the D. - -) so… feel free to spell his name in anyway you like.
WARNING: This story contains spoilers for everything up to ch. 126. If you didn't read the chapter, I strongly suggest you go read the chapter before reading this. This story has also not been previously reread or edited by anyone/anything else other than my dying brain, which I do not trust at the ungodly hour I am typing this. So.
Well, with that said and done, read, enjoy, and review!
Regret
Anbumoo
He never should have left them alone. That was his first thought as the changed blue eye penetrated his very being. He should have known at the very moment that the idiot fool had told him to let him travel alone with the boy, to protect the princess instead, to let him run the risk of getting himself killed.
He really should have known the moment the kid snatched the feather from the shattered book.
But he hadn't known. He could have, should have, must have at some point realized that something was wrong, that something was going to destroy what everyone had tried so hard to build.
He was more than capable; he should have been able to stop such a thing from happening.
Why? The eye asked. Why didn't you leave me to die… when it was all I wanted?
He didn't know.
Why?
Deep inside, he knew why. Somewhere inside whatever remained of his shattered heart, he knew why he didn't do anything, the reason he wasn't able to destroy the clone when it first started acting destructive.
He had once accused the idiot mage of changing, of beginning to care for passing witnesses in his flight from his king, all the while living in the past and ignoring the present, the future.
When had he started to change?
He had once been aloof, uncaring, determined to fulfill his goals no matter what.
When had he started looking at the passing scenery?
He was a ninja. He was supposed to protect his princess. He was supposed to kill, supposed to face death without fear, without doubt. He was supposed to be emotionless, the perfect killing machine, the perfect shield.
When had he started caring for those that weren't supposed to matter?
This wasn't supposed to happen. He should have let the idiot die like he wanted, not pay the price for his life, not bind them forever together, not put him through so much unnecessary pain. He wasn't supposed to want him to stay alive, wasn't supposed to believe that he would miss the constant teasing, miss the annoying presence.
When had he become so selfish?
When had he become human?
It could have been when Tomoyo first sent him away, when he saw the kid holding his precious princess and begging the witch for help, when the white pork bun stared at him and declared they weren't leaving the world without a feather, when the mage first gave him that obviously fake grin and started calling him stupid, kiddish, downright idiotic names, when the princess first opened her eyes, when she smiled like a broken toy and the kid cried like a broken heart.
He couldn't answer, didn't care to answer. The question why would always be there, always haunting him.
Strangely enough, he was ok with that.
He was jolted and shocked for a second when the pale mage—vampire— lost the death grip on his body and collapsed onto the bed, unconscious and panting heavily, accompanied by a chorus of the rabbit thing's screams.
He only needed rest, they said. He would be fine.
Tension disappeared and happiness erupted in the room shortly thereafter, but he couldn't tear his eyes away from that pale, sickly, and strangely fragile face.
He found out later that the whole ordeal was a test, almost to prove his loyalty. The witch revealed that once the eye was returned, the mage would be a mage and nothing more.
He felt the familiar and soothing anger and annoyance rise up within him again, and he welcomed it. Things would return to normal, and he could once again be in charge.
But, some things could not be changed, like the fact that he had ultimately bonded himself with not only Fay, but Syaoran, the Mokona pork bun, and the princess Sakura as well, and the fact that his princess Tomoyo was the culprit behind this whole mess: sending him away so suddenly.
For some reason, he didn't regret a thing.
Maybe, Kurogane thought, picking up the mage's limp body and holding it close, despite everything that happened…
Maybe things won't be so bad after all.