Harry just stared at his pad, the one that B'Elanna had given him. She had smiled at him, with such hope, when she left the bridge. He had grabbed at it, out of desperation, but couldn't understood the words that had been written there. It was from his Godfather, Han Young.
I regret to inform you, Harry, that both your parents have passed on. Your mother got sick of a heart disease, and your father's heart gave away soon say he was unable to live without both his son, and his wife. I regret to inform you that your aunt and uncle, along with your ex girlfriend-Libby was killed on a passenger ship going to Bajor. Your cousin, Danny Bird, was killed in an attack against the Dominion. I apologize profousely for your losses, and I do hope if you do make it home that you visit me. I also want you to know how proud your parents were of you. And how they never gave up hope, especially your mother. She kept on saying you were alive, and she was right. I only wish she could be writing to you, instead of me. I wish I could do, or say, more. I know this was not the news you were hoping for. I want you to know that you are always welcome in my family, to stay with us, when you return. I, sadly, need to keep this short, to save room for other letters. I wish you the best of luck on your return trip, and look forward to seeing you again.
Sincerly, your Godfather, Han.
Harry continued to stare. He was vaguely aware of voices around him.
"My daughter gave birth to twins," remarked Tuvok.
"Congratulations, Tuvok!" Janeway praised.
"What about you, Harry?" Tom pressed. He watched his friend have a far away look on his eyes, and knew something wasn't right. "Harry?" He added.
"Ensign?" The Captain asked, finally. Harry managed to jerk up at her voice.
"Yes, Captain?"
"Is everything all right?" She didn't like seeing that haunted look in his eyes. His face had suddenly seemed to age over minutes.
"I...yes." Harry coughed. "I'm fine. It's just...may I be excused? I actually..am feeling a little sick."
"Do you need to go to sickbay?" She asked, concern painted on her.
"I...no. I just need a little bit of a break, that's all."
"You may go." The captain nodded, and Harry thankfully left, and the group glanced at each other.
"He's hiding something," remarked Chakotay. Tom almost stood up.
"Do you want me to go after him?"
Janeway shook her head, and stared at the door, a thoughtful expression on her voice.
"No," she responded. "Leave him be."
They were unaware of how at that moment, Harry was having a full blown panic attack. He managed to wait until he arrived at his quarters for him to unbutton his collor, while gasping for breath. His whole body was shaking, and suddenly, unable to control it anymore, he grabbed a vase with one hand and threw it across the room, before collapsing in agony.
...
Harry stumbled to the bathroom, and with shaking hands he grabbed a glass,filling it with water. He stared at the mirror in front of him. Tears had stained his face. He shook his head. That could never do. He didn't want anyone to know. He became to wipe his face. Slowly exhaustion kicked in, and he felt his shoulders sag, and his body ache with the recent whirlwind of stumbled, almost drunk like, to his bed, and quickly passed out into a thankfully dreamless sleep.
Tom rang his bell, a few hours later-after shift, still worried about the young crewman. No answer. He looked puzzled
"Computer, locate Ensign Kim."
"Ensign Kim is in his quarters."
"Huh." He frowned, and rang again. No answer. Real worry began to increase. "Harry!" He banged at the door. "If you don't open up, I'm breaking in!"
Silence. He gave a frustrated sigh, when he realized he needed the password to break in. He thought of B'Elanna, an engineer could possibly be able to crack the code. He paged for her,and she appeared almost instantly.
"What's wrong with Harry?" Concern was etched in her face, and he sighed.
"He got a letter today."
"I know. I gave it to him." She frowned at him.
"Yes, but he's been acting really weird, ever since then. I think he got some bad news, and I'm just worried. He's not answering the doorbell."
She sighed.
"I shouldn't break in his place-"
"B'Elanna, you know how anxious he was to get that letter."
She grumbled, but agreed, and quickly broke the code.
"That was easier than it should have been," Tom remarked, somewhat unsettled. "So you can break into my place, whenever you want?"
She scoffed.
"I have a sense of privacy, and deceny, Tom." They entered the room, and all was quiet. Until they saw the broken vase.
"Shit," cursed Tom. He swallowed. "Harry?" He panicked. "I'm going to check the bedroom." B'Elanna nodded, and eyed the pad she saw on the floor. She slowly picked it up, unaware of Tom already having left. She vaguely heard Tom speak Harry's name, and asking him to wake up, so she settled into reading the letter-filled with guilt for what she just told Tom about privacy. She let out an inaudible gasp, as she read the letter, and tears pricked at her eyes.
"He doesn't want to wake up." A frustrated Tom appeared again. "He keeps on telling me to go away."
"Maybe we should let him be." She kept her voice soft, and blinked as she handed Tom the pad. Horror fell on Tom's face, when he read the news.
"Oh, Harry..."His voice trailed off, as he glanced at the bedroom. "Someone should stay here," he commented.
She nodded, and swallowed.
"I will."
He frowned.
"B'Elanna?"
"I know what it's like, to lose a lot of people. I have lost the entire maquis, Tom. I know what he's going through, the most."
Tom took in the information, and nodded.
"You should at least inform the Captain, Chakotay, and the doctor," she added-thoughtfully. "They need to keep an eye on him, too. Especially the Doctor."
Tom agreed, still processing the information.
"I just can't believe..."
"I know." She placed a hand on his shoulders."I know. it's best you weren't here when he wakes up. He would probably feel more vulnerable. " He looked hurt.
"And that is only because you two are closer. Your opinion means the world to him," she assured Tom, but he didn't look very assured.
"I wouldn't think less of him, for coping with such a loss." A look of hurt appeared on his face again. She gently kissed him.
"I know, but when you're grieving you're not thinking clearly."
Tom grimaced,but muttered he'd leave. B'Elanna sat on an armchair, in front of the bedrooms open door.
She sat, and waited, for the young man to finally emerge from his haven of sleep.
It finally happened, but it was several hours later. Harry stumbled out, disoriented-and looking for a light. He became startled, when she turned one on for him. He jumped, and stared at her-in utter shock.
"B'Elanna...I..."
"It's okay, Harry." She cleared her throat. "Everything here is okay."
"Then why are you here?" He demanded, almost angryly. She tensed, and prepared for more anger as she held up his letter.
"I know, Harry. I know. And so does Tom."
Harry balked, and she was right. More rage followed.
"You...you had no right." He kept his voice tense, and she was careful with her own tone.
"Tom was worried about you, and asked me to help break in.I was the one who found the letter, Tom found the broken vase. He tried to wake you." She shook her head. "But...I said it would be better, if it was just me here."
Harry frowned, still defensive.
"Because I know what it's like," she added carefully. She noticed his guard was slowly crumbling. She proceeded very carefully.
"I have lost every friend I ever had in the maquis. That letter Chakotay got shook me to MY very core. I can only begin to imagine what it's like for you. I had Chakotay to help me through. I didn't want you to go through the same thing, alone."
Harry finally let a tear trial down his cheeks. He stood, shaking.
"It's so unfair," he whispered, and she nodded, tears also emerging from her. Her heart truly broke for the young man.
"I know," she replied. "I'm so sorry, Harry.," It was as if she gave him permission to let go. For in that moment, he did. He let his knees buckle, and his body fell to the ground. She hurried over to him, and embraced him.
"Just let it out, Harry," she responded, while messaging his back. "Just let it out." With that added response, he did just that as he continued to sob, as he leaned against her-not wanting to let go. Not wanting to move on...