A/N: It's been so long since I've written a fanfiction for Inuyasha.. So please bear with me. I've recently become re-addicted to the series and have had some ideas floating around inside my head because of it!
Warnings: This is rated as it is for the some of the drama and the angst. I hope it can be enjoyed here.. ;3
"Mom! Inuyasha saved me!"
"Inuyasha?"
"Kagome!"
"INU-YA-SHAAAAAAAAAAA!"
The words floated around in my head where it rested against the rim of the closed well. Tears stung my eyes, and I couldn't hold them back, not here. When I was in class, or when I was in the house, I did my best to put on a front - to hold up and pretend nothing was wrong. Over the last three years, I had perfected the mask that I knew everyone wanted to see. The one that showed them I had moved on, the one that proved I wasn't going to break down and cry at any moment. That was the one they needed to see, my mother especially. She had been worried when the well had sucked Inuyasha back through time and space, leaving me trapped on this side.
I guess it's the way it should be though, I mean.. My job as "shard detector" had ended when we'd defeated Naraku and completed the Jewel. It ended when I wished the Jewel away forever. I should have suspected that I would lose the ability to cross back to the other side. What do you do when your heart belongs to someone who has lived five hundred years before you were even born? I tugged my knees close to my chest and wrapped my arms around them.
I had to get a grip, I had to control myself before my mother or Souta came looking for me. Forcing a breath, I got to my feet and walked to the back of the well house. I'd hidden a box under the steps years ago on one of my trips. I don't think mom or souta knew it was there.. But it had helped me to cope with missing my friends. It was small - just a shoe box, really.. But inside, I had things that were precious to me, reminders of the life I had left behind. I pushed the lid of the box aside and stared down into the contents as I had done countless times before this. My tears stained the silk of Sango's shirt, and I pulled it out, folding it carefully to the side. Under Sango's shirt was a pair of Shippo's pants, and under that I had a metal ring from Miroku's staff that had broken in one of our fights.
The cold metal always helped to calm me - but something that worked better was the dozen or so black beads that sat in the bottom of the box.. I rolled the onyx spheres in my palms, tightening my fist around them. Inuyasha...Sango, Miroku...Shippo. I missed them so much. Fresh tears stung my eyes and I pulled the pieces of fabric to my chest, huddling around them as if they could bring back the power of the well. I knew it couldn't, but hey, a girl can dream, right? Come on, get a grip, girl. I folded the wrinkled clothes and put them back in my lap, the golden ring on top of them. But the beads..I couldn't let go.
There were no demons in my time, so it wasn't a stretch of the imagination to figure out what had happened between then and now. Somewhere along the line, all the demons were wiped out, but what happened to cause it? When did it happen? Was it because of my wish on the Jewel? I froze, my eyes widening when I thought of that. Was it… was it because of me? Was I the reason that the well had closed? Had I...had I inadvertently caused the death of every demon in the past? My heart thumped hard once, then twice and I clutched my sweater, pressing the heel of my palm against my breastbone. It did little to assuage the pain of my heart, nor did it stop the cold sweat that had broken out.
It hurt so much…
I had to stop thinking about them. I had to. The well wasn't going to open back up, if it hadn't opened in three years, it wasn't going to open again. It took me a few shuddering breaths before I was able to get my heart to stop beating out of my chest, but I was still shaking. Before I got the clothing dirty, I put it back in the box and put Miroku's ring on top, adding the beads on top before closing the box and pushing it back under the stairs. I managed to force myself to walk to the door of the well house before I went back and pulled the box out again. This time, I stood at the edge of the well, clutching the box to my chest, staring into the dark depths. I had to say goodbye.. I had to accept that I wasn't going to be able to go back.. That I wasn't going to see them anymore.
What felt like hours ticked by, and I realized that I was clutching my treasures so tightly the box was denting on the side. I didn't have a choice - if I wanted to let go of the past, I had to let go.. But I didn't want to! I stared down into the well, feeling my arms trembling around the box. It's not like it was heavy, I was just having a hard time letting it go. I forced myself over the edge of the well and jumped down, landing on the hard ground. I'm not sure what I thought would happen - it's not like the well would open.
Hours passed, and I sat at the bottom of the well, staring up into the ceiling of the well hours. It should have been a blue sky. Instead of the silence, I should have been hearing birds.. But here in the silence, my thoughts turned towards the past as it always did when it was too quiet in my head.
"Kagome!"
My mother's voice broke me from my thoughts and I hurriedly dug a shallow hole, tucking the shoe box into it and scuffing some dirt over to cover it before climbing out of the well. She was coming down the steps when I managed to crawl out, and helped tug me over the well.
"Kagome, what are you doing in here?"
It was a valid question, considering I'd told her years ago that I wasn't going to try the well again. After all - it was the biggest connection I had to the past.
"I'm sorry, Mom. I …" I didn't have a good excuse, and instead, she tugged me into a hug, and I couldn't help but smile, though a sob threatened to rise up from my chest. "I had to.. Try again.." Just once.
"Oh, Kagome.. Come on, let's get you back inside."
We left the well house, and she turned, locking the doors, and I felt like a bell was ringing somewhere in the back of my head as the chains fell over the handles and she locked it.
"There.. Let's go, sweetheart.. You had a big day with your graduation.. You should get some rest."
I could only nod numbly, staring over my shoulder at the doors before we got in the house, and I couldn't see it anymore. Inuyasha...I'm sorry...