Reflection
By The Silver Phoenix
Summary: I stand in front of the mirror sometimes, and I ask myself—who am I? Am I the person in the mirror whom everyone else sees—Robin, the fearless Teen Titan? Or does my reflection deceive me? Am I someone else entirely? One-shot. Robin's POV.
Disclaimer: The Teen Titans are the property of DC Comics and Cartoon Network…
I stand in front of the mirror sometimes, and I ask myself… who am I? Am I really who I see? Am I the person in the mirror that everyone else sees… the fearless, selfless Teen Titan, dedicated to keeping the city safe from villainy and all forms of evil?
When I stand in front of the mirror, a boy of 16, short for his age, stares back at me. He has messy jet-black hair, despite the endless efforts, a half-bottle of hair gel and 30 minutes spent that morning on taming it. His name is Robin, and he is a Teen Titan, a superhero and guardian of Jump City. Selfless and fearless, every boy's hero, and every girl's fantasy boyfriend.
That is who I am… on the outside, at least. I am Robin, and I can fight better than any 16-year-old human being. I have been hailed as the 'one-man army'. I can tackle any monster, any criminal, any villain that comes in my way… and I will take them down. I defend the city, I defend its citizens, and I fight and destroy evil.
Or so I tell myself.
Does my reflection deceive me? Perhaps the evil lies within me. Am I really who I appear to be?Or am I someone else entirely? The real me, the one who lurks deep down inside, the dangerous me, threatening to be unleashed at any moment, should I let my guard down… I cannot trust myself at times, and those are the times when I am a danger… not only to myself, but more importantly, to others. To my friends… the only ones who will accept me. To my best friend, Starfire, whom I love as more than just a friend, and whose love I can only wish for in return. If I were to hurt her, I know I would never forgive myself.
But it is not a question of what I want or do not want. It is a question of what my enemies want, and how far they are prepared to achieve their ultimate goal… through whatever means necessary. Through me. Through my friends. Through her.
That is why I have to be Robin. That is why I have to be the courageous and self-sacrificing and unemotional superhero that everyone thinks I am. Everyone besides my closest friends, that is. But even they are fooled. I am the only one who truly knows me. And I know that the last thing I will ever become is a true superhero.
Superheroes aren't scared. They are valiant, intrepid, with nothing to fear. They don't cry at night over some tragedy that occurred in their lives a long time ago. They hide their sorrow. They handle it, and they don't scream when they wake up from nasty nightmares, the one night of the week they actually get sleep. They don't fall asleep whilst doing their duty, and they have no fears. And they always do the right thing, because they're superheroes.
Superheroes don't lose their temper. They never feel frustrated; they never snap, or yell at their team-mates. They never make mistakes—especially not preventable little stupid mistakes that could have cost someone their life. They always think before they act, and they're always putting others before themselves. And superheroes definitely don't waste time on self-pity.
Superheroes are supposed to be special; they're supposed to be gifted with special powers, blessed by the gods, the Chosen One or something. I don't have any superpowers. I don't have any powers at all. I'm just plain old Richard Grayson… at least, I was.
But then, superheroes aren't meant to be 16-year-old boys. 16 years is nothing. I am still a boy, I tell myself. Life isn't fair. I didn't ask for this. I didn't ask for my old life to end. I didn't want to trade my old life for this one. I didn't ask for this life. I didn't ask to be Robin. I didn't ask to be the perfect role model that everyone looks up to. Is that all superheroes are supposed to be—some kind of icon? Someone who is a hero in the hearts of the people, but who has no life of their own? I didn't ask for this life—Robin's life. I didn't ask for them to die, the way it happened. I just want to be Richard… like I've always wanted to be.
So am I Robin? I know I have to be Robin… no matter how much I don't want to, I have to fool them into believing that I'm bold, brave, heroic Robin. I have to fool my friends, I have to fool her… and I have to fool myself. I have to keep up this act of being a superhero, even though I know it's stupid and pointless and utterly ridiculous. I have to keep up this act, because that's who I am. And, as some believe, because it's my destiny.
Am I Richard Grayson? I know I want to be. The 'normal' boy I can only pretend to be. The 'normal' person I should have grown up to be… the person I could have been. The future that a cruel twist of fate so ruthlessly took away from me. I want to be normal, for once. No, not just for once—for ever. Even though Fate won't let me, I have to fight against my destiny. But I know it's useless, I know it's futile; my parents are already dead, and Richard Grayson died alongside them that night. And from the ashes, rose Robin—a darker incarnation of the little boy everyone used to love. The little boy I thought I used to know. The little boy I used to be.
So who am I now?
I am Robin… or at least I pretend to be. I am Richard… I try to be. I can pretend, can't I? But there comes a time when you have to stop pretending and start giving straight answers. I am Robin and Richard… but I can't be both at the same time, can I?
I know the answer now. I know what Fate has in mind for me. I know my destiny, and I know I have to accept it, not fight it. Most of all, I know who I am. I pretend to be Robin, and I lead everyone to believe that's who I am, but I'm not really him. I pretend to be Richard, and I lead my friends to believe that's who I really am, deep down inside… but I'm not really him, either. Then who am I? The answer is simple.
I am me.
A/N- Pointless, I know. Somehow, it'd be weird if Robin looked in a mirror, even though he probably does (how else does he gel his hair every morning!)
Anyway, please review. No flames permitted.
-TSP