Krusty Crabs and the love sponge
It all started on a warm summery morning in Bikini Bottom. SpongeBob was seductively flipping Krabby Patties while letting his mind wander. He thought about his upcoming holidays, and all the adventures that he and Patrick would have. He also thought of Patrick in his tight board shorts, two sizes too small for him. The thought alone made him quiver with joy.
"Yeah, a bit of extra 'mayo'... that's what these Krabby Patties need," Spongebob mused.
"SpongeBob, can I get two Krabby Patties? Hold the pickle," Squidward gloomily moaned from the front counter.
"Ooooh yeah, I'll hold the pickle alright, Squidward," Spongebob murmured.
'The Japanese really know what's up with tentacles. So much gripping power, and so many options' Thought Spongebob, while tenderly biting his lip and rubbing his crotch against the bench.
Spongebob couldn't take these urges anymore. He had to do something to relieve himself. He had to think of a way to lure Squidward out to the freezer where they keep the stock. Everyone knows there's never cameras in the freezer.
When the next order was ready to go out to the front, Spongebob took his opportunity to make contact with Squidward. Spongebob put a message on the order ticket that said 'Meet me in the freezer. I need some help moving some buns'.
Spongebob was confident Squidward would reciprocate his feelings. He had been flirting with Spongebob all week - giving him seductive looks, serenading him with sexy clarinet songs, and making extra sassy and sarcastic remarks to him all the while.
Spongebob sent the order out and went back to flipping Krabby Patties, while glancing up every few seconds to gauge Squidward's reaction. Squidward didn't react to the ticket at first, but after a few tense moments, he turned to Spongebob and gave him a look that meant 'I want to use your spongey body to mop up my squidy semen'.
Spongebob called out to Mr. Krabs to let him know he was going on his break. Squidward did the same.
Spongebob sat on some boxes in the freezer, thinking about the magic that was about to take place. He also pondered as to what would go best with squid.
'A smooth dry water? No a nice, cool, bubbling water. Perfect.'
Squidward then sauntered into the freezer with the air of someone who knew he looked fabulous.
"So, you came. I didn't know if you would," Spongebob said casually.
"Yeah, I came. Figured I'd see what you wanted," moaned Squidward in his usual bored tone.
"Oh, you know. I just wanted some help moving these buns," SpongeBob bent over slyly while saying this.
Squidward walked around behind Spongebob then, with his sexy squidy walk, before wrapping his tentacles around the latter and squeezing as hard as he could. Spongebob let out a moan of pure bliss.
"OH YEAH, SQUIDDY! MAKE ME YOUR BITCH!" Spongebob demanded with the ferocity of a pregnant woman. It's a little known fact that a sponge's G-spot is stimulated when you squeeze the absolute piss out of him.
Squidward tore off Spongebob's pants with the same enthusiasm that a 5 year old has for ripping wrapping paper off of a birthday present.
"STICK YOUR GIANT FUCKING BEAK IN ME, SQUIDDY, YOU DIRTY FUCKING CUNT!" Spongebob screamed.
Squidward rammed his beak up one of the holes in Spongebob's backside, while continuing to squeeze the absolute shit out of his dirty love sponge.
"OH SPONGEBOB, YOU'RE SO FUCKING TIGHT!" Squidward moaned loudly, "I'M GONNA INK!"
"INK IN MY TIGHT LITTLE ARSEHOLE, YOU FILTHY BITCH!" Demanded Spongebob, as Squidward continued to have his way.
"UUUUUUUUNNNGGGHHH!" Squidward moaned, as he released his giant ink sac into Spongebob. It oozed out of the holes all over his body. He looked like a self-saucing chocolate pudding.
Once spent, the two lovers lay down beside some boxes of buns and caressed each other tenderly.
"SpongeBob, I think I love you," croaked Squidward nervously.
"You're an ok bloke, Squidward, but this could never be" Spongebob said dismissively.
"B-b-but... why not?" Squidward asked, with a shake in his voice and tears in his eyes.
"My mother hates squids," Spongebob explained, "She says they're beneath us and that we shouldn't associate with anyone whose arse is in the same place as their mouth."
Squidward began to cry and whimper. Spongebob put a finger to Squidward's mouth and shushed him, wiping away his tears and looking deep into his eyes, before delivering a bite to Squidward's face that would make Hannibal Lecter proud.