Chrissie Meets Leon

It was a cool winter afternoon in Bromley High Street. I was with my two best mates – Chrissie and Ash – and there was nothing I would rather be doing than trying on jeans in Primark and buying hot chocolates from Starbucks. (Incidentally, have you noticed how Bromley has been INVADED by Costas and Starbuckses?!)

Anyway, we had just come out of the Glades and were wondering where to go next when me and Ash (or Ash and I, if we're getting all posh about this) noticed - horror of horrors! – that HMV opposite was featuring a large display of Leon Jackson (winner of X Factor '07, if you didn't know) albums.

Cunningly, we hastily tried to drag Chrissie towards on of the market stalls before she noticed, saying, "Ooh, look at that bracelet, isn't it great? It would go sooo well with that black top you bought."

Unfortunately, either me and Ash are really, really bad at cover-ups (yes), Chrissie had some kind of Leon-radar (most probably, I shall have to ask) or we were too late (yes). Either way, Chrissie spotted the life size standing photo of Leon and started heading towards HMV.

We tried holding her back but it was too late. Chrissie is a girl with a serious obsession, and nothing would be able to get in the way of her and Leon.

Dutifully, me and Ash followed her into HMV (after all, what are friends for?) and stood around like saddos whilst Chrissie poured over the songs on the album, occasionally squealing with excitement.

Then, with a cry of horror, Chrissie sobbed, "I don't have enough money with me!"

Ash and I exchanged glances, both wondering whether we loved Chrissie quite enough to fork out for a Leon Jackson CD for her (it wasn't even her birthday yet). Chrissie sobbed and cried and wailed so loudly that, to stop her making such an embarrassment of herself, we both pulled out our purses.

"Hey, what's going on here?" said a male voice from behind us. Uh oh, I thought, looking round, how are we going to explain this one?

But the guy standing there was not, in fact, security.

"Wow, Leon Jackson!" Ash said. "What are you doing here?"

"I've come to promote my new album!" Leon said. "I'm selling signed copies, would you like to buy one?"

I coughed fakely. "Um …no, I'm fine thanks. Can I have an autograph, though?"

"Oh, sure," Leon said. "I bet you're my biggest fan, right?"

I had actually been intending to sell the autograph on eBay, but I wasn't about to admit that. "Um, no, actually," I said smoothly. "But I know a girl who is!"

This was a bad moment for Chrissie. When me and Ash stepped aside, she was still sitting on the floor after her tantrum, but she was now staring at Leon with a mixture of shock and lovesickness on her face. Not a good combination.

"Um, hi!" Leon said politely. "Pleased to meet you!"

There was an uncomfortably long pause. Chrissie just stared.

"Chrissie is pleased to meet you too," Ash said.

"Great," Leon said, giving us three a very weird look. "Well, I'd better be going. You know how it is – so many premieres to be at, autographs to sign, singles to make."

"Uh, not really," I said honestly. "Anyway, I've never seen you at movie premieres. You're not famous enough."

Leon coughed sheepishly. "All right, forget the premieres bit then. Bye!"

"Wait!" Ash said. "Chrissie seems to be paralysed at the moment, but she would want you to know that she is your biggest fan and she loves you so much she is practically your stalker."

This last bit of information seemed to freak Leon out slightly.

"And will you marry her?" I added.

"Hang on a second …" Leon said. "You don't mean that this is The Chrissie? The Chrissie who wrote those letters to me?"

"Oh, yeah, that's her!" We said.

"Oh, yeah, you're right, I recognise her from the photos!" Leon said dreamily. "Oh, I remember opening that letter and seeing Chrissie's beautiful face and thinking 'wow, this girl loves me! I love her too!'"

"Eew, too much information," I said quickly.

"Well, why didn't you reply to Chrissie's last letter, then?" Ash said (ever the smart one as usual).

"Because I framed it and put it on the wall, but then I couldn't refer to it to reply to her and answer her questions," Leon explained.

"Uh …that is the lamest (ooh, look at me – gone all American) excuse I have ever heard," I said truthfully. "Do you not have photocopiers up in Scotland?"

"Oh yeah …" Leon said. "Wow, that's smart."

"Uh, thanks," I said in confusion.

Meanwhile, Ash was trying to snap Chrissie out of it so she could go and marry Leon and live happily ever after. She had tried slapping her, and was now asking the cashier if she could borrow a bucket of ice-cold water.

Soon, a bucket was produced and poured over Chrissie's head. Sopping wet and shivering, Chrissie got to her feet.

"H …h …hi!" Chrissie said in awe.

"Wow, you're even more beautiful in real life!" Leon said.

"You too!" Chrissie said. "Do you remember at your concert and someone shouted out I love you Leon!? That was me!"

"Really?" Leon said. "That was you?"

"She just said that, didn't she?" I butted in. "Duh!"

"Maybe we should give them some privacy," Ash stage-whispered (ever the tactful one as usual).

"Good idea," I stage-whispered back. We went off to the back of HMV and started looking through Wii games.

Then there was much snogging.

Then Leon and Chrissie went to Scotland to get married (when Chrissie was old enough) LEAVING HER BEZZIES BEHIND!!! (I know this is only a fanfic, but wait 'til I get my hands on you, Chrissie …)

But because Leon was so rich, Chrissie didn't have to be a doctor and she could chill out in style.

Leon also used his contacts and pulled some strings to get books published by Chrissie, Rebecca and Ash.

And he made sure that Ash was the best darnedest (woah, I am like a secret American) lawyer in the whole world.

The End.