"Dee, Sweet Sweet Dee, I think you and I should make one of those pacts," Mac began, setting down his beer on the bar counter.
Dee frowned disinterestedly. "I already told you, I'm not going to help you kill-"
Mac interrupted her: "No, no. One of those marriage pacts. You know - if we're both 40 and still single blah blah blah."
Dennis turned his head away from the Phillies game, the word "marriage" having caught his ear. He furrowed his brow and waited for Dee's reply, missing a spectacular fumble on the TV. He couldn't wait to hear his sister eviscerate her would-be-fiancé. Sure Mac was his best friend but even Dee could do better. A lot better. (Not that he would ever tell anyone that he thought that, especially her.)
"I'd rather be single, Mac. For the rest of my life. I'd rather be single for the rest of my life than be married to you. I would rather be a quadriplegic with leprosy and a heroin addiction. "
Mac didn't let her harsh words ruffle him. "Come on, Dee. Look at you. Growing older. Losing your looks. Is that a gray hair?" Dee gasped. "When was the last time you had a date? What has been your longest relationship? Face it, sweetheart: we're all you've got. No one can stand you but us."
"Including us," Denis chimed in.
"Dude, I'm trying to propose here." Mac turned back to Dee, who was regarding him with horror from the stool adjacent. "If you're ever gonna get married, I figure it's going to be to one of us."
He was speaking some sense and it was terrifying her. She didn't look around the room at her selection; she didn't need to. Charlie was mopping in the corner, Frank was out, Mac was next to her, and Dennis was sitting by the TV.
Dennis was the only one that didn't make bile start rising up in the back of her throat. She was halfway towards envisioning what kind of wedding they'd have when she remembered he was her brother.
"You're thinking about it, I can tell," Mac posited. "You're blushing. You don't need to pretend like you're some kind of shy virgin type, Dee. We all know you better than that." He began sliding his hand over towards her, which she promptly crushed underneath the empty glass she slammed down on him.
He rubbed his hand. "Ok, Ok!"
Dennis laughed and turned back to the game.
