Disclaimer: I'm sensing… that I… do… not own it.
Quarters
Tony sidled up to McGee's desk somewhat slyly. He stood there for a minute before McGee snapped. "What do you want, Too-nee?" He McGeekily glared at him.
"I was just reading… this…" He pulled a magazine from behind his back. Then he brandished it in his face. "And you know what it says?"
"Some made up stuff about celebrities?" McGee shrugged.
"No."
"DiNozzo, just tell me."
"It says that… drum roll please."
"A drumroll? What is that?" Ziva piped up.
"Oh, it's where you pound on something like this…" Tony rapped his knuckles on McGee's desk. McGee's soda began to shake and move towards McGee.
"Tony…." He warned. The rapping continued only stronger. "TONY!" Then the soda spilled across McGee's lap. "DiNozzo."
"Oh… my bad…" Tony grinned sheepishly.
"I'm going to get a Nutter Butter."
"You have fun with that." Tony added as McGee stormed towards the break room. All that they could hear was a grumbling.
"So what is in the magazine?" Ziva asked curiously.
"Ooooo, it says that Mr. Gemcity is writing another book," Then Tony held up his hands in quotations. "Continuing the epic adventures of LJ Tibbs. His loyal sidekick Tommy, their Mossad assassin Lisa, the brave yet lovable McGregor and the Goth scientist Amy."
"I think I might just kill him." Ziva threatened as she began to finger her knife.
"Or we could just get a cut." Tony said evilly.
"A cut of what?"
"His pie."
"McGee has pie?"
"No, a slice of his cake."
"He also has cake?"
"No, Zee-vah, a share of the profits. I mean he is basing them on us."
"Oh, yes that sounds great." Tony led the way to the break room, where they found McGee attempting to rub the soda off of him with a wet paper towel.
"Should we come back later?" Tony smiled devilishly.
"What do you want?"
"A cut of the profits on your next book." Tony said.
"What?"
"We want some of the money you make off of your books." Tony explained further.
"Yeah, I got that, but why?"
"You base them off us, yes?" Ziva asked.
"No." Ziva glared. "Maybe." Her glare intensified. "Fine, I base them off you guys. Happy?"
"Pretty much."
"So how much do you guys want?"
"A quarter each." Tony smirked.
"Fine."
"Hey guys what's going on?" A new voice came in.
"Oh, we were just discussing Mr. Gemcity's new book."
"What's this about a quarter?" Abby asked.
"They want a quarter."
"I want in."
"Fine, Abs."
"Okay!" She smiled and left.
"Our work here is done." Tony smirked.
"We should go back up before Gibbs gets back from coffee." Ziva added.
The walked out, but not before Tony added. "McGee, do you feel a slight wetness any where?" Both snickered as they heard McGee's swearing.
Five minutes later after everyone was at their desks 'working', Gibbs walked in with coffee in hand and a smile, just kidding, a deadly glare firmly planted on his face.
"Whatdya got?"
Tony and Ziva got up quickly, and told Gibbs what they found. Then he turned to McGee. He stood up hurriedly. "Well, nothing interesting in his bank records or phone records or anything. This guy had nothing bad." Everyone was staring at him. "What?"
"McGee, do ya need a potty break?" Gibbs asked. McGee's face turned bright red. "I'm going to see Abby and Ducky."
McGee slumped down in his chair only to find there was an old Chewy bar. "Oh good god."
3 MONTHS LATER
"So, McWriter, I saw that your new book was out." Tony said one day.
"Yeah."
"So do you have our cut?" Ziva asked.
"Yep, right here." He held up two briefcases. "I'm heading out, so I give them to you before I leave."
"Where are you going?" Tony looked puzzled.
"On vacation."
"Where?" Ziva prodded.
"To the island of Nonayabusiness." Then he handed them the briefcases and ran to the elevator.
"I wonder how long he'd been sitting on that one?" Tony mused out loud.
"Most likely a while."
Abby's Lab
McGee ran into Abby's lab, handed her a suitcase and ran out. "Bye Abs. See you in 2 weeks."
"Bye, Timmy!"
McGee high tailed it to his car and sped out of NCIS and the navy yard.
Back at the bull pen
"Should we open them?" Ziva wondered aloud.
"YES! YES! YES!" Tony squealed. "On the count of 3. 1, 2, 3."
Both flipped open the briefcases and their mouths hung open. Inside both was a quarter and a note.
You asked for a quarter. Here you go.
See you in 2 weeks, McGee
P.S. You can't find or track me
Both were staring blankly at each other.
Then a bouncing happy Goth bounced into the bullpen. "Hey guys, did Timmy give you guys you're cut? Cause I just got mine! I think I'm gonna get a new coffin. What's wrong guys?" Abby walked over to Ziva's desk and read the note.
"Oooo, sucks for you guys. But I bet you could still get those fruit shaped things. Runts!" Tony and Ziva glanced at each other then both sprinted for the vending machines.
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