Axel looks at me. "What do you mean?" he asks, so soft I can barely hear him.
I look up at the sky, the stars slowly blinking out, one by one.
"It seems so hopeless," I sigh, hunching my shoulders.
"I truly have no one. All of my friends were in my world and... that's gone now."
He leans in closer to me, then hunches his shoulders also.
"I've never had anyone. I'm a Nobody," he says.
My head shakes automatically.
"You're too real to be a Nobody."
"Nobody cares about Nobodies," he mutters.
He stands up from the ledge and walks to the tree, slowly sliding down its trunk into a sitting position.
I look over to him.
"That's not true," my voice quivers.
He slides his knees up to his face and puts his head in his crossed arms.
"Nikko, you know it is," I hear his muffled voice reply.
"You don't know what it's like. With no one to care about you."
"Yes I do."
I shake my head, choking up.
"Roxas. You always had Roxas."
He breathes in sharply and doesn't speak for a long time.
"No one has ever loved me," I whisper.
He looks up slowly.
"Liar."
I shake my head again, not trusting my tongue.
There is silence.
Finally he speaks.
"You told me about your friends. Your family."
I can't move.
"They loved you," he says.
I look up again, reminded of what was happening around us.
"Not... not that kind."
He waits for me to explain.
I'm not sure that I can.
"No man has ever... no one loves me like..."
I can't explain everything that has happened to me in an entire lifetime in one sentence.
Can I say it?
Nothing will come out the way that I want it to.
I look away from the sky, into the ocean.
It is dark, like there is no bottom.
Like there is nothing.
"A boyfriend."
The words crawl out of me.
They can't even begin to even come close to what I feel.
I see Axel stiffen, and he shakes his head.
"I don't understand."
He is at a loss for words.
I close my eyes and spit out the words.
"No man in any of the worlds I have ever visited have ever... loved me."
Pause.
"Not the way I wanted them to," I finish.
I don't know why, but I feel... scared.
The words I have picked are wrong.
They seem so... child-like.
I feel like I can't ever explain to him about... my lack of love life.
I breathe in deep, close my eyes, and then try to redeem myself.
"All I've ever wanted was a boyfriend.
"A soul mate.
"Someone who understands.
"A guy who loves me for everything I am and everything I've ever thought."
Somehow I am pouring my soul out.
I'm explaining everything I feel.
I am terrified.
"I don't understand what's wrong with me."
Axel shakes his head.
"There's nothing wrong with you," he says.
"I don't think there's anything wrong with me," I admit.
"I think I'm beautiful... smart... everything...
"And I actually think very highly of myself, even though I never show it."
I can't stop talking now.
The ball just keeps on rolling.
"That's why I can't understand... What's the problem?"
Now I stop.
I don't expect him to answer.
So I answer for him.
"The problem is that I'm not special enough to be anyone."
My hands close into fists in my lap.
"I don't have any talents, nothing significant about me."
Looking up into the dark, star-ridden sky, I feel overwhelmed by how empty and endless it looks, stretched out before me.
My final words fall and sink into the water below, making tiny splashes as they disappear forever.
"I have no one."
I clench my jaw and feel intense anger surge through my body.
Then I deflate into misery, wrapped up in the new-fallen quiet that has taken place after my previous words.
The only things I can hear are the chirping of the crickets and my own ragged breathing.
After the longest silence of the night, Axel speaks.
"Come here."
I turn to see him beckoning me over to where he is sitting.
"What?" I say tonelessly, not standing up.
He doesn't say anything.
"What do you want?" He isn't saying anything, just motioning me over.
I stand and walk to him.
Axel grabs my arm and yanks me down into his lap.
I automatically tense up in his grip, making his arms tighten comfortingly around me.
My bony spine is probably digging into his stomach.
It's awkward and strange, being this close to him.
I'm not sure what to do, what to say.
He puts his chin on my shoulder, his mouth close to my ear.
"I'll always be here," he breathes.
"Got it memorized?"