This started out as a little drabble, and stretched out to 330 words. Wow. I don't even know what to call it. Triple-drabble? One-shot?

"Oakheart," meows my son, Stonefur, glancing at me. "When should we attack?"

"Wait for my signal," I flick my tail in front of his mouth.

I can't help but notice how much he looks like his mother, with his lively blue eyes and gray fur that gleams blue in the sunlight. With a pang, I remember that my kits will never know her, never realize that some of the blood that pulses through their bodies is ThunderClan blood.

Turning back to spying on ThunderClan, I spot Bluestar's deputy, Redtail, heading the Sunningrocks patrol. He is an able and fit deputy, even at such a young age. In fact, he reminds me of myself quite a lot . Bluestar, what were you thinking when you chose him? Did my face flash through the back of your mind for just a second before you pushed the thought away? Could you smell a shadow of my scent the way it was that one unforgettable night so long ago?

Right now, Redtail's sensing our scent, calling to his warriors in alarm. Yes, he is a very capable deputy. Excellent choice, Bluestar.

I wish I could tell you that to your face.

But...no. You are the enemy, Bluestar.

I feel nothing for you.

Nothing.

My warriors are bristling with tension, glancing at me for the signal.

It is time.

And I suddenly feel memories of your touch against my fur, the way you purred as we pressed close.

No...must not think about her. I must be loyal to my Clan.

"Now!" I yowl, voice echoing with rage. My face is twisted with hostility, masking my numb feelings. To my Clan, I look like a loyal deputy. Not hesitating, not wavering.

I shouldn't be doing this to you.

But you've chosen your path. I must fight your Clan as if you mean nothing to me. Because that's the only option we have.

We rush forward at last, cries of battle-hunger rising from our jaws, unsheathing our vicious claws as ThunderClan bristles in surprise.

I'm sorry, Bluestar. I wish I didn't have to.

I hope you'll forgive me in StarClan.