Thought of this during pizza night, we were talking about what animals would eat it and so I came up with this.. It's a kinda weird crackfic... enjoy xx

What rats eat

Michelangelo was chowing down on a huge pizza that afternoon, the smell of the greasy melted mozzarella filled the kitchen and made Mikey drool as he ate. Pizza is a great thing, anybody can change it to make it enjoyable for them which makes it the perfect food for any day.. or hour in Mikey's case.

''Michelangelo?'' Master Splinter asked as he walked into the kitchen, his whiskers twitched as he sniffed the air

''Hey Sensei, Do ya wanna slice of pizza?'' Mikey asked with a smile,

''No thank you my son'' Splinter shook his head,

''Sensei.. What do you eat? I don't think I've ever seen you eat anything'' Mikey frowned, Splinter looked at him for a moment before chuckling.

''You have seen me eat Michelangelo even pizza'' Splinter's eyes twinkled at his youngest son,

''Oh.. I have?'' Mikey asked as he scrunched up his face, ''Well.. If you say so'' He took another bite of pizza and looked up at his father.

''My son.. Would you like to do a good deed?'' Master Splinter asked as he fiddled with his sleeve, Mikey looked up in surprise for a moment. He had been to interested in his pizza and had forgotten his father was still there,

''Yeah.. I guess..'' Mikey stuttered as he swallowed his mouthful, ''Why?''

''I think you should start leaving one slice of pizza and giving it to the rats in the sewers..'' Splinter began, ''I know how the rats feel especially when I had you four at first.. It's a hard life with no food and I'm sure the rats would appreciate it''

''Sure Sensei.. If you want but.. I thought they were classed as unwanted pests... No offence of course!'' Mikey held up both greasy, cheesy hands.

''No offence taken my son, and thank you'' Splinter nodded, he left the kitchen with a smile and Mikey looked down at the rest of his pizza. He had two pieces left, he could only eat one.

''I guess... If it's for the animals.. I can give up a piece each time'' Mikey shrugged as he shovelled down the second last piece, his brothers came in as he washed his face and hands.

''Not eating the last piece Mikey? '' Leo asked surprised, ''Are you feeling alright?''

''I'll have the last piece'' Raph reached for it but Mikey pushed his hand away and picked the piece up before leaving the kitchen, his three brothers following.

''What are you doing Mike?'' Donnie asked curiously,

''urgh.. Leo; I'm feeling perfectly fine and Donnie, if you must know... '' Mikey sighed exasperated, ''Splinter told me to give the last piece of each pizza I eat to the rats in the sewers so that's what I'm doing now.. I'm gonna do it down the tunnel a bit so we don't end up standing on them if we're in a rush''

''Oh ok..'' Donnie frowned before leaving, Raph and Leo turned to go but Mikey stopped them.

''Will you guys come with me to see if the rats like it?'' Mike asked with big eyes.

''Aw I'd love to Mikey but..'' leo began but Raph cut across him,

''Yeah we'd love to but we don't want to come so bye and Leo, meet me in the dojo and I will show you who's the better fighter'' Raph growled,

''You're on'' Leo growled back as he went to the dojo.

Mikey sighed as he turned and left the lair, he ventured up the nearest tunnel and laid the slice down on the ground. He hid round a corner and waited for a rat to come.

A few minutes later there was still no rats eating the slice and Mikey was getting bored,

''Michelangelo?'' Splinter appeared behind Mikey, he spun around and frowned at his father.

''Sensei.. No rat's have came! Do you think they don't like the pizza?'' Mikey asked sadly,

''My son, no rat will come if you watch for them.'' Splinter explained, ''They won't come near if you are here, why don't you go back home and when I get back I'll tell you if they ate the slice''

''Oh.. ok'' Mikey grinned before skipping off back to the lair.

...

Mikey sat on the sofa feeling sad that he couldn't watch the rats. Don, Leo and Raph come into the living room and sit with Mikey,

''Hey Mike, i thought you were gonna watch the rats?'' Leo asked with a frown,

''Master Splinter told me that the rats wouldn't eat the slice if I stayed'' Mikey pouted.

''That's not true'' Donnie frowned, ''Rat's don't care if you're there as long as you're not too close''

''I wasn't close'' Mikey frowned,

''Then you would have been fine'' Donnie pointed out, ''Did sensei say anything else?''

''em.. He just told me to come back here while he went to do something, he's gonna tell me if the rats liked it when he comes home'' Mikey shrugged.

''Did he say why he was out?'' Leo asks confused,

''No''

''That's weird.. he always tells us where he's going.. and I thought he'd know loads about rats seeing as he is one'' Raph looked at his brothers, they all had the same look of confusion on their faces as he did.

The lair door opened with a clang and Master Splinter walked in looking happy.

''Hey Master Splinter'' Leo smiled, ''Where-?'' He began but Mikey pushed him in the face as he leapt off the sofa and landed next to his father.

''Did the rats eat it? did they like it?'' Mikey asked hopefully.

''It was all gone once I returned'' Splinter laughed. ''I hope you will keep this up Michelangelo'' Splinter went d=straight to the dojo and Leonardo d=glared at Mikey.

''What?'' Mikey asked,

''Why didn't you let me ask him where he went?'' Leo asked angrily. Raph was on the verge of laughing at the leaders face when he had been pushed.

''Guys.. something's not right here'' Donnie frowned, ''Where is he going? Why does he keep getting Mikey to waste his left over food on vermin? and why does he have grease on his muzzle?''

''You don't think?'' Mikey's eyes widened.

''Don't think what?'' Leo asked,

''He's Batman!'' The turtles groaned, they whacked him on the back of the head.

''ow''

''I'm being serious Mikey... '' Don growled,

''You know.. Sensei doesn't eat with us much does he?'' Leo shrugged.

''Do you think.. no'' Donnie grimaced.

''What?'' Raph asked, ''Do you think he's eating the pizza left overs?'' The turtle brothers stared at each other in disgust and horror.

''Why doesn't he just eat it with us? I mean.. I've seen him take pieces before and take them away to eat but.. why would he wait until we got rid of it.. in the sewers before eating it?'' Leo asked.

''I have no idea..'' Donnie frowned before grinning. ''Mikey. Eat a pizza tomorrow.. tell Sensei that you're leaving a piece out for the rats then we will all watch and see if Sensei does eat it''

''I don't know if I wanna see that'' Mikey grimaced, ''But.. I guess.. I was gonna have pizza tomorrow anyway''

''It's a miracle that you're not fat'' Raph shook his head. Mikey just shrugged with a grin.

''You have bits of pizza in your teeth'' Leo looked away, Mikey's grin just grew in size as he put his teeth in front of his brother's faces.

''Mikey.. that's gross'' Donnie grimaced as he pushed Mike away, Raph rolled his eyes and pulled the youngest into a headlock.

...

Mikey was surrounded by pizzas against a light orange background, he was even sitting on one of the extra cheesy pizzas! He was so happy as he ate his favourite food, everything smelt so good and it was hard to choose which pizza to eat next!

The light orange background turned black with bits of brown, Mikey stopped eating and looked around in fright. He looked around to find rats eating all the pizzas

''No rat dudes! don't!'' Mikey yelped worriedly as the rats came closer. All the pizza was gone except for the slice he was standing on, On rat leapt towards him and the slice disappeared.

Michelangelo was falling through the darkness, his screams echoed around him. He finally hit the ground. It was soft furry grass, brown and a little greasy from pizza grease.

''Dude... What the-?'' Mikey looked up into a pair of familiar brown eyes, ''MASTER SPLINTER?''

''PIZZA!'' Splinter grinned as he opened his mouth, Mikey was frozen to the spot as the hand he was sitting on went closer to the face.

''NO! NO! DON'T EAT ME! PLEASE DON'T EAT MEEEE!'' Mikey yelled.

''don't... please don't... please''

''Michelangelo? Mikey?''

''MIKEY WAKE UP!''

''AH!'' Mikey screamed as he leapt up in bed, his three older brother were looking down at him.

''Mike? You ok?'' Raph asked worriedly.

''Y-yeah... bad dream'' Mikey panted as he blushed.

''Well get up..'' Leo smiled ''We start training soon''

''oh.. ok'' Mikey gulped as his brothers left the room, Donnie stopped at the door.

''Come on buddy or you'll have to wait until AFTER training to have breakfast'' Don chuckled as he left. Mikey laid back on his pillow and panted the dream away.

...

Michelangelo walked into the dojo, he didn't come down soon enough to have breakfast but at that moment he didn't care. He still felt a little bit jumpy from the dream, he really didn't want to be eaten by Splinter. He needed someone to hug and he looked around, Master Splinter hadn't arrived yet, Donnie and Raph were having a heated argument about something that he probably didn't understand and judging by Raph's face he didn't really understand either. Leo was the closest to Mike and was smirking at the argument, Mikey rushed over to him and hugged him. The argument stopped immediately and everyone looked at Mikey, Leo put his strong comforting arms around his baby brother and tried to calm him down.

''Is he still scared by the dream?'' Donnie asked,

''HE TRIED TO EAT ME!'' Mikey yelled, everyone jumped in fright.

''Who tried to eat you?'' Raph asked bewildered.

''M-Master.. Splinter'' Mikey mumbled as he blushed from his sudden outburst, he pulled away from Leo and tried to avoid looking at his brothers as they stared at him in fright and confusion.

The door opened and Master Splinter knelt in his usual place, the four students knelt before him but Mikey was still a little worried and Splinter could sense it.

''Is something wrong Michelangelo?'' He asked as he looked into the worried blue eyes of his youngest son.

''N-No Master..'' Mikey gulped,

''Have your brothers been upsetting you?'' Splinter asked, he knew that the older turtles (especially Raphael) had a tendency to bully Mikey for being "Stupid" and "useless" When they all knew he wasn't any of these things.. well... maybe he was a little stupid but he certainly wasn't useless!

''No master'' Mikey shook his head, his eyes now had a spark of humour in them.

''Very well, I trust you boys have warmed up'' Splinter nodded, he noticed the three older turtles shoot a look at the youngest who blushed in response. ''Michelangelo?''

''I haven't warmed up yet..'' Mikey blushed furiously,

''Why not?''

''He was too worked up over a dream he had last night'' Donnie answered for him. Mikey looked at Donnie.

''Really? Was this a bad dream My son?'' Splinter asked as he looked at Mikey, ''Would you care to talk about it?''

''It was a bad dream master... But.. I don't think I'm ready to talk about it yet'' Mikey confessed, Splinter smiled kindly at the timid turtle.

''You may be excused from training then, we can't have a tired and timid ninja sparring now can we?'' Splinter nodded, Mikey bowed and gave Splinter a grateful grin before hurrying out of the dojo.

...

Mikey was in the kitchen eating pizza when the others came in, they were all showered and ready for lunch. Mike pushed the pizza boxes to each turtle and they all sat down and ate.

''Remember My son, you must give your last slice to the rats'' Splinter called as he passed the kitchen, Mikey looked over to his brothers.

''Don't worry bro'' Raph smirked, ''We've got a plan''

''Really?'' Mikey beamed,

''Yeah, you would've known about it had you not skipped out on training'' Don chuckled,

''he made me leave'' Mikey mumbled,

''Anyway, our plan is this: We leave four slices of Pizza out for the "rats" and then we hide up in the pipes. If he really is the one eating the slices then he will be too interested in the pizza than us'' Leo explained, ''we go once we've finished''

''So.. i have to leave FOUR slices'' Mikey asked sadly,

''No, we will each leave out a piece from our own pizza'' Leo laughed. Mikey grinned back.

Within a few minutes all the pizzas were finished except for four slices and the turtles were laying them down in the usual spot, Mikey whispered goodbye to the delicious food before joining his brothers in the pipes.

''Do you think he'll come?'' Raph asked quietly,

''We told him that the pizza was being taken out so it should'' Donnie nodded back, ''But their is a possibility that he's waiting for s to come home first''

''Hey look guys'' Mikey grinned, ''The rats are actually eating the pizzas'' And sure enough there was one little rats eating a piece of crust, it was too cute to watch.

''Here comes Sensei'' Leo hissed, they all looked round at their Master as he gracefully strode through the pipe. He halted when he saw the pizza and his eyes locked on the little rat, He walked towards it and bared is teeth, the smaller rat did the same. Mikey couldn't watch as Splinter picked the rat up and threw it away by its tail.

''Dude'' Mikey whimpered as he looked back round, his brother shushed him.

''Ah, My sons have been most kind today'' Splinter beamed in excitement. The brothers looked away in disgust as Master Splinter dove into his now dirty meal, they could hear the slurping, munching, crunching and chewing and it was gross. There was a small burp and the turtles looked round to see the pizza slices gone and Master Splinter wiping his mouth on his sleeve but it didn't get rid of the pizza grease on his chin.

''ew'' Mikey squeaked, Leo and Raph jumped down in front of their Sensei and Mikey and Donnie followed them a few seconds after.

''MY SONS!'' Splinter jumped in surprise, he tripped over a can and fell onto his butt.

''em.. Hey Sensei'' Mikey grinned.

''Are you ok Master?'' Leo asked worriedly as he helped his father up.

''Y-Yes Leonardo.. I am fine'' Splinter swallowed dryly as he stood up. There was a moment of awkward silence.

''So... You eat dirty pizza'' Raph frowned uneasily, Splinter coughed indignantly.

''I do not'' He straightened up.

''Yes you do.. we just saw you throw a rat away for it'' Donnie pointed out, Splinter withered slightly.

''well... Maybe this one time'' he mumbled as he tried to get his dignity back.

''Master'' Mikey began, ''Why don't you just eat clean pizza with us?'' All four turtles looked at their father expectantly. Splinter had no choice but to tell them the truth.

''I-... I don't like eating finger food in front of you three'' Splinter sighed,

''Three?'' Leo asked, ''Don't you mean four?'' Mikey began counting how many of them there were but stopped when Raph smacked him over the head.

''No three, Michelangelo I don't particularly mind'' Splinter nodded, Mikey frowned.

''But.. we've been alone with pizza before and you didn't eat in front of me'' Mikey pointed out.

''That was the one time you were actually being civilised with your food and I didn't want to ruin the moment'' Splinter stuck up nose up,

''So why don't you like to eat in front of us?'' Donnie asked suspiciously.

''Well Donatello.. You four have witnessed what I am like with finger food just now..'' Splinter bowed his head in shame, ''My rat instincts become too much and I eat like an animal''

''So? Mikey eats like an animal too.. and It's not like you can help it'' Raph said.

''That is true my son'' Splinter nodded sadly.

''Master.. You don't have to do this anymore'' Mikey smiled, ''We want you to eat with us again.. even if it does mean getting splattered with half eaten food''

''Thank you my son'' Splinter smiled as he hugged his four sons.

...

That night the five mutants ate their pizzas in front of the tv. Yes, they got a few bits of food on them and yes the sound effects were a little off putting but they were happy all the same. Master Splinter was finally comfortable eating finger food in front of his family.. but he didn't use his fingers much, Mikey found it kinda amusing anyway so it was no big deal really. He still refused to eat in front of April but they could understand that.

This is my second crackfic and I'm still not sure whether I'm any good at them... did you like it? should I write more crackfics or should I stick to my usual family drama kinda stuff? Please Review xx