Diary of Leafpool

(Oneshot)

A/N: I got bored...

First day after the gathering,

Geez... Cinderpelt says that I've gone crazy because of my breakup with Crowfeather. It's not my fault that he was so hot and hypnotized me with his eyes... sooo dreamy... ANYWAY, Cinderpelt is such a dog. Shes always asking me questions like, are you over Crowfeather? Are you really over him? She really should die someday...

A day later,

OH MY GOD CINDERPELT ACTUALLY DIED! DREAM COME TRUE. Thank you starclan! Well actually not really, she was a mom to me. Cries I want my Cinderpelt back! She died giving birth to SORRELTAIL'S KITS. Not her kits, SORRELTAIL'S! I burst out laughing when I found her dead near Sorreltail. It was hilarous.

Day 3

Sootfur died too! I just realized it actually... I thought that he was still alive but not breathing. I took his body back to my den and started treating him and then FIRESTAR comes in to mourn him and I was like "Sootfurs still alive" and then Firestar replied "HE IS? THANK STARCLAN! Wait, why isn't he breathing?" and then I said "I dunno, maybe he doesn't feel like it," AND THEN Firestar told me that cats ACTUALLY HAVE TO BREATHE TO LIVE MAKING SOOTFUR REALLY DEAD. I was amazed.

Day 4

Well, I tried to not breathe for a day... lets just say it didn't work out. I ended up passing out and Brambleclaw had to give me air through MOUTH TO MOUTH. I woke up to his digusting little face touching mine. I would rather have been dead.

Day 5

Today I had to go check out Sorreltails kits, and OH MY you would be so amazed at what I saw. I SWEAR I saw Cinderpelt as a little baby kit suckling up to Sorreltail. Once I saw that I freaked out and came in here... OH geez I can hear Brackenfur running over to my den. Its like an earthquake when he walks he's so big.

Day 6

Brackenfur threatened me to act normal since I am now number one medicine cat of Thunderclan. Big deal, they need to learn to heal themselves. I DO have a life other than medicine cat-ing. Brackenfur needs to calm down once in a while.

Day 7

Well, Firestar gave me a big talk about being number one medicine cat. He says that he will punish me if I don't do my job right. What is he going to do to me though? Stop me from being medicine cat? Yeah, then there will be no one to help him out of fox traps...

Day 8

Well, I slept for the whole day today and then Firestar comes in and says that I have to stay in my den for the whole day tomorow. He took a bunch of vines and tied me to one of the roots sticking out of the roof... THEN he goes off and gets stuck in a stupid fox trap. HE WAS THE ONE WHO TOLD ME NOT TO COME OUT OF MY DEN! And then Sandstorm comes in and tries to PULL me physically out of the den to help her love. "Sorry Sandstorm, your love has tied his med. cat to the roof of her den so she can't help him," I told her.

Day 9

I got yelled at even more by the great Firestar, so I decided to make it up to him by bowing down at his feet and licking them clean. He liked it actually, and said that I could go back to my medicine cat-ness.

Day 10

Today was rather peaceful actually. Nothing happened. I am going up to the moonpool tomorow.

Day 11

CINDERPELT ISN'T THERE. Shes not up in Starclan I mean. THAT means... uhhh... That shes double dead. I think Starclan didn't want her because shes too mean and bossy so they killed her again and made her into baby Cinderkit.

Day 12

I went to check Longtail today and had to stuff yarrow down his throat to make him throw up the deathberries he ate because he's stupid. He started screaming at the top of his lungs and protesting. The great Firestar came running out of his den, and hung me up to the top of the medicine cat roof again. He says I won't be able to come down until tomorow...

Day 13

Firestar has forgotten about me. He hasn't remembered to let me down from the roof.

Day 14

I'm rather hungry. I NEED WATER. Well, If I die I will double die and turn into a kit again because Starclan hates me. They think I am such a bad medicine cat for 'hurting longtail and running off with Crowfeather'.

Day 15

The great Firestar finally found me. He took hours to find me, he was looking all over the den. He looked everywhere EXCEPT THE ROOF. Stupid cat.

Day 16

Ferncloud and Squirellflight are expecting kits. This is Ferncloud's third litter. Wow. She must love having kits... I had to check Squirellflight and make sure it was true and It took so long to figure it out and then Brambleclaw got impatient and scratched me on the muzzle. I told Firestar and he put Brambleclaw on the roof of the warriors den. I laughed so hard.

Day 17

Whitepaw had her warriors ceremony today. It was really funny. Firestar was saying the normal ceremony words, blah blah blah, and I got bored and when Firestar said "Whitepaw, you shall now be known as," I burst out "YOU WILL BE NOW KNOWN AS WHITEPIGGY". The whole clan started laughing, and then Firestar put me on the roof again. He made her into Whitewing instead. I thought Whitepiggy would have been a wicked name.

Day 18

Firestar took me to the moonpool to speak with Starclan. There, we found Graystripe licking himself all over. It was nasty so I pushed him into the moonpool. Firestar dove in after Graystripe and I haven't seen them since. They have fallen to their peril! HAPPY DAYS!