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As Ianto Jones lay dying in Jack's arms, his mind drifts to the one woman who saw through the suits and the lies.
Who was he really saying 'I love you' too? Her or Jack?

He would sit by the lake every night after school, always fearing to go home in case his father was drunk.
Rhiannon would always stay at their ma's house. So there would always be the possibility that he would get the brunt of his father's anger.
"Do you have any idea how bloody cold it is out here?" A female voice asked from behind him. Ianto turned around to see her grey eyes twinkle in the evening twilight, her dark brown hair blowing behind her.
"Honestly, I have no clue. Don't really care either" Ianto looked back over the lake to watch the water ripple.
The girl came and sat down on the park bench next to him "I always come out here to think about stuff. What about you?" She turned to face him.
Ianto nodded in agreement "It's beautiful out here…" He looked down then back out to the ocean "Have you ever had something happen to you by someone who's supposed to protect you?"
The girl nodded "Yeah. What happened?"

Ianto hesitated; he'd just met this girl; so why did he feel like opening up to her and telling her everything?

"You know, sometimes it's better to talk to a stranger who won't judge you. Then to someone you know and who will. Why do you think psychologists make so much money?" The girl gave a short laugh as Ianto gave a smile. The first one which has graced his face in a long time.
He turned to her; her mouth was chewing what looked like gum "What's your name?" He suddenly asked.
"Erin. Erin Grey. You?"
"Ianto Jones" And so 12 year old Ianto told her everything that happened to him. Everything his dad did to him. And she did the same for him.

"No! No, no, no, no, no. Ianto?" Jack called out as he caught Ianto as he fell to the ground. Ianto looked up and saw the blue eyes of his captain. The one person who had made him get past the grief of loosing Lisa. Who made him feel like he was wanted.
How he pretended for so many nights that it was Erin he was kissing. Not his handsome boss, who yes, he did love. But not to the extent that he loved her.
"It's all my fault" Jack whispered to him, trying to hold back the tears.
Ianto could only shake his head. He wanted to save the world. He couldn't let the children die, not when Erin's children were in danger "No…It's not"

"He's hit you again" 22 year old Ianto stated as he saw Erin sitting across from him at the small café they were both dining in.
Erin rolled her eyes and picked a chip of her friend's plate "He doesn't mean it Ianto. He says he loves me…"
"He says it Erin, but think about it. When was the last time he actually meant it?" Ianto tried to reason.
Chewing her food, Erin shook her head "It's easy for you! You have a beautiful girlfriend, you work for the bloody government, and you have a decent flat"

"Which you can move into anytime" Ianto added.

Erin shook her head "I don't want to intrude" She whispered to him.
"You won't be intruding. You're my best friend" Ianto smiled at her, hoping she will take him up on the offer of moving in and dump her drop-kick boyfriend.

Erin stood up and pushed her seat in "I have to go to work. But thanks Yan. And say hi to Lisa for me"
Ianto watched as she walked away "Erin!" He called out.
"Yeah?"

"Be careful" He pleaded.

"Promise" Erin blew him a kiss and walked away.
Ianto placed his head in his hands and shook his head "So why do you keep going back?"

"Don't speak. Save your breath" Jack begged him. All Ianto could see was the tears Erin shed when she saw Ianto in the infirmary of the hospital after the battle of Canary Warf.
The words he had always wanted to say to her, they just slipped out. But as per usual, Erin blew it off as him being under the influence of all the pain killers "I love you" He whispered. Saying it more to Erin then Jack.
"Don't. Ianto? Ianto? Ianto, stay with me, Ianto, stay with me please.] Stay with me, stay with me" Jack pleaded with every ounce of strength he had.
Ianto opened his eyes to see Jack, not Erin, looking back at him "Hey, it was good yeah?" He knew he had a great life, good friends, the best lover of all time, the best job. There was always one thing he had wanted to do though…
"Yeah" Jack nodded as more tears fell down his cheeks.

26 year old Ianto sat with Erin on the edge of the dock as she rested her head upon his shoulder "You seem to be the only guy I can keep Yan" She mumbled as they watched the water like they did when they were young.
"Your brother?" He tried to lighten the mood. The one thing he hated was to see her upset.
Erin smiled and wiped her tears away "Okay, I'll rephrase that. The only non related man I can keep" She continued to smile.
Ianto enjoyed the feeling of her warmth near him. As he did everytime. His thoughts were distracted as his mobile started ringing. He saw it was Torchwood "I have to go back to work" He said.

"You never have any time for me anymore" She smirked as they both stood up and walked towards the small tourist shop.
Ianto shook his head "I'll always have time for you Erin. I swear" He pushed open the door and waved his goodbye to his friend.

"You'll forget me" Ianto stated. Just like he forgot Erin. The one time she needed him. If Jack did forget him, he wouldn't blame him. He'd deserve it.
Jack shook his head "Never could"
"In a thousand years time, you won't remember me" Ianto knew that was the truth. But there was a small part of him hoping it wouldn't be true.
"Yes I will. I promise I will" Jack smiled a watery smile for reassurance as Ianto struggled to take in air.
Jack's face dropped as he saw his lover continue to struggle.

"I'm pregnant Yan. And I don't know what to do" Erin whispered as they sat on Ianto's couch one night.
Ianto turned to look at the younger woman. He was dealing with his own problems. Owen had just died, and then brought back to life.
He thought for a moment "Are you keeping it?" He asked cautiously.
Erin nodded "I couldn't imagine getting rid of it" She let tears fall down her face.
"I'll look after it. Pretend I'm the dad…." He had always wanted to be a dad, and now this could be his chance. Since he was now dating his boss and all.
Erin laughed "You will?" Her eyes seemed to light up at this.
Ianto nodded "Of course" He gave her a hug and relived the warmth of her body beneath his own.
"This is why I love you" She whispered to him.

She stood up and walked to the bathroom.
Ianto smiled to himself "I love you too"

"Ianto? Ianto? Don't go, don't leave me, please. Please. Don't" Jack begged him. All Ianto could hear was his own voice at Erin's funeral, begging her. Asking her why did she have to go back to him?
Why couldn't she see that he was here all the time? He even pretended to be her daughter's father so she would realize that they could all be one happy family.

He cradled baby Sasha in his arms, staring at the photo of her mum on the table beside her cot "Your mum was beautiful. She was smart. She was everything to me. And there will never be a day when I don't tell you that" He whispered to the ten month old infant as he rested her on her small mattress.
She looked just liked her mum. And he will thank God everyday that he will always have something to remember her by.