Chapter One – The Trouble Begins

(Note: set at the beginning of 6th year)

"But if Voldemort –"

"Don't say his name!"

Harry glared at the table of hardened Order members who now looked about to bolt. "If You-Know-Who has finally gone completely crazy, that's a good thing, right?"

"Well, Harry," Dumbledore steepled his fingers and looked over them at his little Chosen One, "With anyone else it would be, but the Dark Lord still has significant magical powers and evil tendencies. According to our informant," He inclined his head courteously at Snape, "In the one day after his break with sanity, Lord Voldemort killed ten death eaters, redecorated the Riddle family home in hot pink, changed the initiation rite from the killing of muggles to the dancing of the can-can, and proposed marriage to Bellatrix Lestrange."

Harry raised his eyebrows, then snorted at the idea of Snape witnessing all this. Dancing the can-can…

"So what are we going to do about it?"

"Well, we will go back to school, of course, and hope for the best!" Dumbledore beamed across the table at him. "Just make sure you're on your guard. Now – who wants cookies?"

There was a loud lot of chatter at the Welcoming Feast, as per usual. Harry had immediately told Ron and Hermione about Voldemort's insanity, which had led to several heated conversations.

"Oh, come on, Hermione." Ron snorted. "How dangerous can someone who redecorates their house in hot pink be?"

"I think you're underestimating him, Ron!" Hermione replied heatedly, "Voldemort – oh, get a hold of yourself and say the name already – is still dangerous. His killings haven't stopped, just gotten more creative."

"No kidding," agreed Harry without looking up from his newspaper, "It says here that Voldemort killed his last victims by setting a horde of starving, carnivorous giraffes loose on them."

"Giraffes are carnivourous?" Fred asked with interest, plopping his books down beside Ron.

"A new tribe, apparently," Harry responded idly, "Oh, look, Skeeter's written another article about Scrimgeour's scandalous love life – what'd you let her out for, Hermione?"

Before she could respond, a high, cold voice spoke, seemingly from out of the walls. First years squealed and hid under tables while Professor Slughorn clutched at Professor Snape, who promptly swept out his wand and only refrained from committing a murder because Dumbledore sent him a quelling glance.

"Students and teachers of Hogwarts! You know there is no way for my dark and delicious magical powers to penetrate your elegantly carved walls, but un-Dark curses have no such restrictions. So… I have finally found a way to defeat you all!" At this point, Professor Snape got to his feet and left the hall, rolling his eyes and muttering about lunatics. Fred and George, at seeing his lone exit, gave identical evil grins and slunk out after him.

"Prepare yourselves… by this time tomorrow, nothing at all will be left of your current selves!"

There was a great silence, and a sweeping wind filled the hall. When it was left, everything was silent for a few moments, until a lone wail pierced the air. Like the spark to tinder, that wail ignited the great hall into a horrendous cacophany as babies poured out from every which where.