This is about you x Sebastian (from Kuroshitsuji a.k.a Black Butler) in this your name is Alex, and you're an otaku who gets bullied a lot...sorry, i'm not good at summaries (x_x ) so please just read! I'll do my best! And please comment! P.S. I might make one or two more you x Sebastian stories that are more normal as well, so check them out please! :) Arigato for reading! ^.^

Chapter 1

"itadakimasu!" I said as I walked to the door.

Hi, i'm (you're) Alex, and no, I'm not Japanese, although I wish I was. I live in america, and I'm american. But, I am an otaku. I watch anime and read manga every day. what I look like? Long brown hair, blue eyes and a little taller than your average 17 year old (i'm almost 18!). So, kinda like Tohru Honda. And i'm kind of a tsundere, but i'm not that mean. Anyway, back to the story.

"Speak english!" yelled my mom,

why does she always say that?

I ran out the door and onto my bus.

And then it started.

"hey, o-ta-ku" said Janie, stretching out the "u".

She said it wrong...

Janie has been bullying me ever since I can remember.

I sighed, is she really that bored that she has to bother me all the time?

"What's wrong Alex cat got your tongue? or should I say neko?" *commence annoying laughter from her and her groupies*

I sighed again, leaned against the window and put Black Rock Shooter on loop, hoping I was making my usual emotionless face.

Ten minutes later, we were at school, and I immediately sought out my best friend, Miki, she doesn't watch anime, but she doesn't make fun of me when I talk about it. I found her at her locker.

"hi, Miki"

"hi, Alex, what's up?"

"*sigh* they annoyed me again"

"again? seriously? I think their just bord"

"me too, but why do they always have to bother me?"

"I dunno."

a silence settled upon us, but was soon broken by the ring of the first bell.

"see ya later!" I said waving and walking away

"later" she replied

**a couple hours later in 9th period**

Last hour! go fast clock! get me out of this hell hole!

I sat down at my lab desk, and took out my notebook and started drawing Erza from Fairy Tail while (aka ), my science teacher drones on about cells and chromosomes and whatever else.

30 minutes later, I finished drawing Erza and a NaLu pic. I looked up at the clock, 30 seconds! and I started putting my stuff away when I heard snickering coming from behind me. oh god... I thought as I turned around.

"What do you want, Janie?" I said, glaring at her

"*giggle* nothing, just wondering how that'll help you get a boyfriend, I never knew if you drew a bad picture it would attract boys" *annoying laughter*

"you don't have a boyfriend either, Janie"

"correction, didn't have a boyfriend" she said smirking, "Brad asked me out at lunch" she said in her bitchy-dreamy voice.

"so what?" I said, but my voice wavered, Brad was my first crush. Is my first crush. And she stole him. Although I never really had him.

"puh-lease, everyone knows that you have a crush on him. even he knows! it's quite sad, really. How could you think you had a chance with him. I mean, look at him. he's perfect. And you're nothing compared to him, your hair is dirt-brown. your eyes look like swamps and your complexion sends everyone running. And on top of that, you're a geek. You watch stupid japanese shows that mean nothing. and you talk about it like it's some sort of god. but really, it's just some stupid little meaningless show for babies and nerds!" she said smirking, and I noticed everyone in the class was looking at us and trying, and failing, not to laugh.

*~Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnng gggggggggggggg~*

I'm grateful to the bell that it decided to ring at that moment, I couldn't let myself break down here. I grabbed my stuff and ran as normally as I could, but my vision was getting blurry and my legs threatened to collapse. I ran out of the building as fast as I could and took my secret path through a garden, home.

By the time I got home, my tears were starting to fall. I was grateful that my parents were on a long business trip, and that I was the only one home. I flung my backpack on the ground and ran up to my room, tripping on the stairs as my flip flops fell off. I ran up to my room and locked the door behind me. I dived onto my bed.

You know how kids have teddy bears to cheer them up when they're sad? Well, I have a body pillow of Sebastian Michaelis, from Kuroshitsuji. (stop laughing, this is not weird! body pillows are the closest thing some otakus can get to a boyfriend/girlfriend! and you know that's true!)

I toppled over onto my bed and buried my face in his chest. and hugged the pillow as hard as I could as I started to cry uncontrollably. I wish you were real...then you could take me away from this place...and save my from these people!...

I cried for hours, and by the time I'm done, I hate myself, and feel completely dead inside, I couldn't cry anymore, because my tears dried up an hour ago. I stand up and walk over to the door and limply open it.

dead...dead...i'm dead inside...

I walk into the kitchen and grab a knife and walk back to my room slowly.

gone...gone...i'm going to be gone

I walk back into my room and lock the door, and stand with my back to the edge of the bed. I put the knife to my throat.

no more pain...no more sadness...no more wishing to be someone else...no more me...

Chapter end! I will leave you hanging there :) hope this is a good cliffie :) please message me/comment on what you thought! and wait anxiously for chapter 2 :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)