Callie has learned from her past mistakes, realizing she is no longer alone in this. Or has she? Set in season 3. mild ooc. TW- for self harm. Let me know what you think and if you want this story to go on. Please no hate reviews, if you don't like don't read. Read carefully please.
i do not own The Fosters or any characters.
"You're fired." "Go Home." Those words keep repeating through her head as she walks home. There is nothing she can do about it. For once everything was going her way and then this happened. Of course she screwed up. Again.
The shock of the whole situation wearing of into anger, not at what happened but at herself. How could she be so blind? Trusting this person who she doesn't even know. There are so many different ways she could've handled this. Now she's disappointed the drop in center, herself, and worst of all she disappointed her moms. Oh gosh, when they find out they won't want to adopt her anymore. Its not official yet, and now it might not be. They say they want her, but maybe they don't.
She doesn't even know how long she was walking, too lost in her own head for time to actually mean anything anyway. However, neuxt thing she knows she is standing in front of the house, possibly her house. She knows she can't tell the moms, she needs to figure out how to fix this before she says anything.
As quietly as possible Callie enters the house and makes her way to the stairs, hoping that no one is home. Or if they are she is hoping that she can be quiet enough to not be detected. The other kids should still be out, so she's hoping she's stealthy enough to avoid the moms if they are home.
"Sweets" Stef says popping her head around the corner. Shit.
"Mmhmm" Callie mumbles, keeping her head down and trying to walk to the stairs.
U"You're home early love. I thought you were at the center today?"
"Yeah. Uhm. I was. Not busy so I left early. T-to get some work done for school. The, uh, summer class."
"That class just started, yes? Already got homework? Sounds like a tough one."
"Yup." Callie stated, using the break to dart up the stairs. Stef just watched the girl run up the stairs, the wheels turning in her head. Something was up and she was going to find out what it was.
Slipping into her room Callie slammed the door shut and launched herself onto the bed, finally letting the tears flow that she was trying so hard to contain. Though they felt endless in the moment she got to the point where she had no tears left. When she was all cried out she just laid there.
The thoughts spinning in her head. All those old foster homes where she was told how worthless she is coming back at a million miles a minute. How she always messed up, how she was bad and damaged. And what's worse, she finally started believing the thoughts again. This house started to wear away at those memories, placing positive ones in it's place. Now, however, she is starting to think they were right all along.
Then it happened, that itch came back. The itch under her skin that she hasn't felt since after the Olmstead's. The itch that she needed to scratch to make the thoughts go away. That no one could know about, that she had to hide. The itch that could only be cured with a blade. It was so hard to fight the itch with all the thoughts in her head. She messed everything up, so whats the point in fighting this? After all, at least in the moment, she felt it was right.
On the verge of catatonic, Callie rises and locks herself in the kids bathroom. Silent tears blurring her vision, her heart racing by the moment. Taking apart one of the disposable razors that she had in the bath, Callie double checks the doors are locked and slides down against the cold tile of the tub. Her hand shakes with the weight of the coming actions, once it's done there's no turning back.
As the cold steel kisses her skin she can't help but release a breath, one she never knew she was holding. The maddening thoughts flow away along with the blood that is streaming down her thigh. She presses a handful of tissues to the site, and the bad thoughts are replaced with guilt. Finally a good house and she keeps messing up. How much until they decide she's not worth it. And what if Jude figures it out? She promised him she stopped.
Callie knows this won't be the last time she does this, just hoping she won't get into the same spiral it caused before. She thinks once she fixes the whole situation, she'll go back to being the good girl she is supposed to be. Yes, this is only temporary, just to help her deal. At least she is trying to convince herself of that.
With that thought Callie finishes cleaning up her leg and wipes the tear stains from her cheeks. She heads back to her room, ready to cool off and try to actually get her homework done. To forget this whole day. But Callie stops dead in her tracks as she sees Stef.