Miz-K Takase presents:

A blonde haired girl in pigtails, wearing a black business suit and skirt, was facing left, on the cellphone.

Disclaimer: The story you're about to see is completely true, through the minds of a crazy person… The canon of both animes has been changed, to protect the creators (in which I DO NOT own).

A police siren is made, as the woman turned to the 4th wall, turning off her phone.

"That is a police car. At times, it helps protect Japan, the United States, and everything else. The four of us work together… We're detectives."

She is by three other girls, who were wearing black business suits. One had short blue hair and big breasts, another had a cold look and short brown hair, and one was small with long black hair in small pigtails.

The blonde said, "I'm Sawachika Eri."

The blue haired girl said, "I'm Suo Mikoto…"

The brown haired girl said, "I'm reasons unknown."

The long haired girl smiled in joy, "I'm Tenma Tsukamoto!"

Eri said, "When we first started out, we never thought we'd be teen detectives, next to Jimmy Kudo and Sherlock Holmes Jr. (whoever that is). These are the facts, nothing but the facts. It happened, several months ago, in a very bizarre moment. It started when we were busy having spring break, which is our way of having a girls' only vacation, away from creepy men. We had a ride there in my limousine… since none of us had a driver's license."

Eri's limousine was parked by Tenma's house. Eri called to her, "Tenma, come on! Hurry up!"

Tenma was in her pink blouse and skirt, as she was running to the limo, in a hurry. She stepped inside, as Eri, in her black top and jeans, scolded her, "You're late."

"I'm sorry, Eri. I overslept again, and I forgot we were going someplace."

"Yeah, well, I needed to have some company, since we needed four different vessels in this group. I am the brilliant one, Akira's the knowledgeable one, and Mikoto's the sexy one."

"What about me?"

"You're the comic relief."

Tenma sobbed, "Aw, no fair!"

She asked her, "So… Where are we going?"

Minutes later, the limo was parked by a café, as the girls, along with Mikoto, in a yellow shirt and jeans, and Akira, in her dark burgundy shirt and white pants, as they were having cake. Eri laid out the plan, to her friends.

10:23am – Tenma, Mikoto, Akira, and I had to travel to a place I know, which was Mahora Academy. I told the girls about it, since there were bizarre moments in the school…

"I got a call from one of my students, about a place called Mahora Academy," She said, as she showed a pamphlet to Mahora All-Girls Academy, "Lately, there had been perfect grades in school, including a recent 18-way tie for a perfect score in the recent exams."

Akira explained, "The entire school is consisted of a huge High School with perfect grades in 18 classes, all in the same grade. The grade in High School is from 1-A to 2-I. The Senior classes are still in the process of being perfect, since the grades are at an average 95%."

Tenma gasped, "A Perfect School?"

Mikoto said, "Sounds kind of fishy… that, or maybe the school has a high prestige in Japan."

Eri said, as she was concerned, "Well, I'm not so sure. It could be a front. There's an old saying… Nobody's perfect."

Tenma smiled, "Oh, I don't know, Eri. I have lots of skill in me…"

Eri snuffed, "Like I said… Nobody's Perfect."

Tenma whined, "You're so mean!"

Akira said, "So, we are visiting a very perfect school? We should enroll there, in private."

Eri said, "Yes. Indeed we do. However, we must investigate. You know why I'm not gonna? You know why I'm not gonna? I'm happy with Yagami High. I met with a girl named Maru Chacha, a girl in 1-A, who knows her entire classmates in her homeroom. You see, I met her, a while back, during my trip to Dad's business in Kyoto. She said that she's a master at creativity and a degree in robotics. I'm surprised that she is enrolled in a creepy school. She said that she wanted to go to a college with a robotics class. I don't blame her. She has green eyes and black hair, and she looks so stiff and robotic… but I guess she's very calm about her studies."

Mikoto asked, "Does she have an IQ of 216?"

Eri replied, "Worse… about 510. She's a super nerd… with huge breasts."

Mikoto snuffed, "You're lying, just to irate me."

Eri said, "It's true."

"Why should I believe you?"

"This girl, Maru, she was once a friend of mine, back in England… back when I was studying abroad. She was very cute, but she often speaks a bit flat, like some sort of computer. She told me that, in the future, she'll become an excellent inventor."

Akira said, "In her IQ, she's worthy of making anything special…"

Tenma asked in curiousness, "Still, I wonder why your friend is in a perfect school. You don't think she's…"

Eri replied, out of certainty, "Well, not exactly. Besides, this girl is so great, when it comes to science. She even tutored me, in some lessons. Maybe she could give you a lesson, now and again."

Tenma sighed, "Rub it in…"

Mikoto asked, "So, we're just investigating Mahora High?"

Eri replied, "That's right. All we want is the facts. I chose this school, mentioning a friend of mine, and learn why it's too perfect in academics. She told me that each girl had its own way, acting flat, dull, and too perfect. I'd enroll there, but I'm happy here. I'll investigate the matter, if I have to, and maybe find out why this place is too perfect."

She added, "As far as I'm concerned, the four of us, we can work this out, together, since we have four common elements in this group."

Mikoto asked her, "Tell me… Do we have to look for clues?"

Eri said, "We might…"

"But we're not detectives."

"I know… But it's easy. Don't knock it, until you try it."

Akira stated, "How far is it to Mahora? If we drive all the way there, the school maybe be closed, by then."

She continued, "But we should spend the night, close to the school, if it gets dark. Mahora's hours may be up until the afternoon."

Eri said, "Oh, that. We get a FREE room in Mahora, but I'll pay rent, since they have complexes in the schoolyard."

Tenma gasped, "You mean like dormitories?"

Eri nagged, "It's NOT a college! It's just an all-girls high school."

Mikoto whispered, "I got a bad feeling about this…"

12:11pm – We arrive at the school, which has a huge brick school building. Nakamura, my butler, showed us out, as we entered the front gate.

The girls arrived at the front gate, as Eri spoke to the intercom. The intercom spoke in a female voice, "Name…"

Eri said, "Miss Eri Sawachika. I am a friend of a Miss Maru Chacha."

"Any matter for your visitations?

"Just us four girls, observing this school. I brought along some friends of mine."

"Are you bringing gifts?"

"No."

"Then it's an ungifted class of you."

Akira said, "200 Points."

The girl in the intercom spoke, "Oh, that was rich."

BUZZ!
The front gates open, as the girl said, "Please step inside."

Eri sneered, "That was a corny joke… And this is a school?"

They stepped inside, as they looked around the courtyard. The place was surrounded by crystal roses.

"Crystal roses…" Mikoto said, "It's like a diamond-like place."

Akira said, "They're all fake."

Eri remarked, "As if. No botanist would make crystal flowers."

Tenma sniffed one of the flowers and said, "Wow… It smells just like chrome…"

Mikoto asked, "Don't you mean "Smell like home"?"

Eri sniffed the roses and said, "No, I think it is chrome. There's no lingering scent in these beauties… These are fake, and are hard as a rock."

Tenma said, "So, picking them is out of the question?"

A voice said, "I wouldn't do that, though."

The girls turned around and saw a girl with long black hair, a lab coat, and a revealing black blouse. She then said, "These flowers were genetically engineered by me, and the rest of the faculty."

Eri asked, "Maru-Chan?"

It was Maru Chacha. She was standing in the courtyard, as she recognized Eri, "Oh. Hello there, Sawachika-san. Long time, no see. Why are you here?"

Eri said, "Oh, just curious about this school."

Maru replied, "I see. Is there something you want to share?"

Tenma butted in and said, "Yeah! Why are you so perfect?"

Maru replied, "Oh, that. Well, we have been studying hard, all day long. Our students are-."

Mikoto asked, "Wait… Your students?"

Maru responded, "Yes. I'm one of the homeroom teachers here, and the youngest of the group. Professor Negi Springfield was to enroll, but, uh… He chose to stay at Mahora Academy (Grades 1 thru 9). He's very popular with the ladies, since he's very young. Of course, they chose me, since I have a distinct knowledge in me."

Tenma said, "And knowledge is power!"

Maru giggled, "That's funny. Sawachika-san, who are they? Your friends?"

Eri introduced them, "Oh, these. These are my friends from Yagami High. I want you to meet Maru Chacha. Maru, this is Mikoto Suo, Akira Takano, and Tenma Tsukamoto."

The others said, "Nice to meet you, Maru-Chan."

Maru bowed and said, "It's nice to meet you."

She added, "Come on, I'll show you the tour. I don't go back, until 1."

12:22pm – Maru Chacha took us to see the school, including its fundamentals, such as studying, P.E., and even learning to speak in numerous languages. She guided us to the main hall, while the rest were eating lunch.

Maru showed the girls, wearing their visitor badges, around the halls, which had many classrooms. However, a few students are eating lunch.

"So, as you can see, this school is different than your average high school," she said, "Most of our students are in the cafeteria, having lunch, while very few stay here, and eat lunch, before the next bell. We go by a very strict schedule."

Eri asked, "Do they have time for every lesson?"

Maru said, "Yes. However, the lesson depends on the homeroom. We do math, science, literature, P.E., history, grammar, physics, and even sex education."

Eri gasped, "NO WAY! You study sex?"

Maru said, "I do this class, during the afternoon hours. It's a very special class we do. In fact, they always follow it, very carefully. We have about three teachers here that follow the lesson plan. The rest are absent, so we're short-staffed, until they return. But in any case, we learn anything, as long as it is not stupid. These girls are all brilliant."

Eri smirked, "Had to ask. But you didn't answer me."

Maru said, "Yes. But I do Sex Ed to the students, solely."

Mikoto asked, "One thing, how come you are a teacher, and not a student?"

Maru replied, "It's easy. As a student, I learn how to study hard. But as a teacher, I give the orders. Aside from my degrees in science, I had me a teaching license, in case I'd become substitute teacher. But after 9th grade, they said that I have a gift. So, I wound up joining Mahora High."

She looked away and said in a sad voice, "But still… I may have been rushed in my life, by that is the life of a high-IQ girl, like me…"

She calmed down and smiled, cheerfully, saying, "So… You want to have lunch, before the next class?"

Akira said, "No, we ate."

Maru said, "That's too bad. I'm more than welcome to treat you. But lunch hour is almost over."

A girl, with long blonde hair and a huge chest, wearing a red school uniform, with a dark red skirt, appeared to Maru.

"Miss Chacha-sama," she smiled, "I was waiting for you…"

She winked, as Maru shivered, "Oh… Sorry, Eva. I was showing the visitors our school."

Mikoto asked, "Who's she?"

Tenma gasped, "Look at the size of her breasts!"

Maru blushed, as she whispered, "I'm sorry I was late. Is tomorrow good for you?"

Eva said, "I will."

They kissed each other on the lips, as Eva smiled, "Bye now. See you at class."

The girls were shocked, as Eva left to her homeroom. Maru smiled nervously and said, "Sorry about that. That was Eva McDowell. She is the girl with a 90% grade average. Plus, she's very cute."

Mikoto blushed, "Uh, did you just…"

Akira said, "You kissed her."

Tenma scolded, "That's not nice! A teacher kissing a student! How naughty and dirty!"

Maru barked, "Shut up! I'm 16 years old, and I can find someone to kiss me!"

Eri asked, "Are you a lesbian?"

Maru confessed, "Yes… But it's not what you think! Eva came to me, before I enrolled in Mahora High, and all of a sudden, we had sparks between us. She's in my class, Class 1-A. Reluctantly, when I saw her, in the classroom, she was obviously a tease. She always wink at me, and blow a kiss at me. I know it sounds wrong, for a student to date a teacher, but I'm the same age to be their classmate."

Tenma hissed, "Carnal pleasures…"

Eri griped, "Tenma, that's rude! You're not in league of dating Eva, but it sounds so wrong of you… But I will say that you had such feelings for her."

Maru said, "I guess you're right. We usually date, after school. But the point is, I'm glad I get to stay with her… and teach her lessons…"

Eri sighed, "Never mind."

She requested, "Since you're short-staffed, you don't mind if we examine the students, today, before anything happens? We have reason to believe that your students are not normal… except for being studying hogs."

Maru said, "It's a coincidence. I don't mind you staying to help my students. But on one condition, you have to NOT tease or criticize the girls. They are very sensitive maidens, who only want to learn and be carefree."

Eri smiled, "You got it. So, when do we start?"

Maru said, "Is tomorrow cool? You can stay in my home, close to the school, tonight."

Tenma cheered, "ALRIGHT! We get to sleep over!"

Mikoto smiled, "Thanks. We'd love to stay at your place."

Eri said, "But right now, how about we see some of the "Alumnus" in your school?"

"It's a very huge group. We have about 500 girls in the school. I have 30 students in my class, including Eva and Sayo."

Akira asked, "Who's Sayo?"

"She's my assistant – Sayo Aisaka. But she's at my age, too. While we are friends, we work hard to help the girls stay on their toes and eyes. She's also in my class, as well, as mentioned, since we had a bond together."

Eri said, "You knew Sayo, do you?"

Maru said, "Yes. I think I met her, since my last year at Mahora Academy. She wanted to see me, and maybe work on some projects. She enrolled in Mahora High, which set me up to join in."

Tenma asked, "Is she a lesbian, too?"

Maru responded, "Oh, now you're being ridiculous."

BONK!

Mikoto bonks Tenma on the head. She barked, "Quit saying ridiculous stuff!"

Eri said, "Sorry. She speaks weird stuff."

Maru said, "I noticed. To answer that, she's not. But there is a lot of girl-on-girl action. I think it's maybe that they live here and sleep here, missing or forgetting boys. But that's life. I got about a couple in my class…"

She muttered, "Maybe there were problems with their cerebral cortexes…"

Eri asked, "What's that?"

Maru said, as she was nervous, "Uh… Nothing. Nothing at all. Would you like to, uh, see the girls? They should be done and ready for Study Period."

Eri said, "Right. Uh, when does school end?"

Maru said, "5:00pm. We have to clean up, after that, and then return to the dorms."

Eri asked, "I thought it ends at 3 or 4."

"That's regular school hours. We have school from 9 to 5. It's a regular work ethic, like when you're learning about job careers. But that is the one thing that never fails."

"I'm confused. Do your students miss home?"

"No, it's fine. They like it here. Plus, the rent is free. But I have been hearing news that they chose to stay and date here. The ratio for girl-love is about 30%, and most of it is from the Seniors."

"I see."

Akira asked, "So, 70% of the girls are normal… and they are available for market. But do they have unique traits, like are the vampires, aliens, robots, or other types? This school is too perfect, and we're concerned about your students' behavior. I hope you don't mind."

The school chimes play, as Maru stepped back a bit. She responded, "Why do you say that? We're all… all right. Uh, sorry. You kind of mentioned that word, so…"

A student with black hair, in a left side-ponytail, was walking to class, in tears. She hugged Maru and said, "Miss Chacha-sensei, the other girls were mean to me about my friendship with Miss Konoka…"

Maru petted her head and said, "It's okay, Setsuna. She'll be fine, as long as you ignore them. They didn't pick on you, right?"

Setsuna said, "No. They verbally said that my acquaintanceship with Miss Konoka was wrongful and deplorable."

Eri said, "I never knew she spoke big words."

Setsuna continued, "One of my classmates, Haruna, said that while I was being nice to her, out of companionship, she wouldn't see me date her… But I'm not dating her. I'm not like the other girls."

Mikoto whispered to Eri, "There's something rotten in Denmark about this."

Maru said, "Okay. I'll have to have a word with Haruna Saotome, after class. In the meantime, show yourself to your seat."

"Yes, ma'am."

Setsuna stepped inside, as Eri was confused, "This is strange…"

She pondered, "16-year old teacher… lesbian love… big words… 8-hour school days… living in the academy… Something about this school does seem odd. Whatever the case… I hope to learn more, and ge-."

Tenma asked, interrupting Eri's train of thought, "Hey, Eri, what's wrong?"

Eri said, "Oh. It's nothing."

Akira remarked, "You've suddenly started to feel like you have a mystery on your hands."

Eri said, "I do, but I'm not so sure. We'll talk, later."

A whole group of students, walking in unison, were heading to their respective classrooms. Eri and the others stepped back, as they walked past them.

"Honestly… Can't they pay attention to the hallway?" Eri asked in anger.

A girl in purple hair, looked at the girls and whispered, "I want you…"

She then stepped in the room, as Mikoto asked, "Any idea what she said?"

Akira said, "She wants us… But why? We're not like them… and red is not a good color for our uniforms, except for our skirts."

Eri said, "But they're all wearing long sleeves and blazers. Isn't it supposed to be spring? Summer is around the corner."

Mikoto said, "No, I guess they'd wait until June to change."

A girl said, as she stopped by them, "No. We always wear the long-sleeved blazers. We have wicked and strong AC."

She walked away, as Eri was confused, "Air-conditioning in spring?! This is far beyond weird! I smell a veil in this matter."

Tenma said, "I agree. I wish our school had AC."

Eri said, "No, I mean, the huge words that Tenma doesn't understand…"

"HEY!"

"And all this, going on… I bet there is a strong conclusion to this, guys."

Mikoto asked her, "Hey, you think Maru Chacha is controlling them, making them act this way? After all, she is a major in robotics."

Eri remarked, "Nonsense. She does, but I don't think someone, who is a student-dating, Miss Osakabe look-alike, 16-year old teacher could make every single one of these… Could they?"

Akira said, "I suppose you're right."

The hallway was empty, as Tenma, Eri, Mikoto, and Akira were alone, while everybody else is in class. The chimes ring, as they headed back to the stairway.

Mikoto said, "Why don't we visit the cafeteria and see what they had? My guess is they had energy bars, but laced in super-knowledge vitamins."

Eri said, "Good idea. Maybe there's a clue to this."

They headed to the cafeteria, which is outside the school building. They saw a huge building, which was a huge warehouse. They stepped inside, as the lights were out.

1:08pm – We checked out the huge cafeteria, which is the same size as an airfield warehouse. But we were surprised by what that had to eat.

Eri looked by the many tables, all sorted in a row, with the chairs folded up. Mikoto and Tenma checked the dishes, from behind the counter.

"They're clean," Mikoto said, "I guess they clean up, afterwards. This is one sterile cafeteria."

Tenma asked, "Hey, you think Yakumo would like this? She'd love to see a school like this."

Mikoto said, "No work means no job. You think maybe they're ALL clean? I don't see a dishwasher."

Akira said, "In my opinion, they'd clean up, after themselves. Lunch isn't about eating, anymore."

Eri said, as she was putting a chair down, "Well, be that as it may, not all schools' lunch rooms are perfect."

She looked under the table. There was nothing under it. Eri griped, "Normally, there'd be gum here, but this table's got NO disgusting marks."

She continued to look at each table, as Mikoto and Tenma looked at the menu on the board. The girls had some chicken and white rice today. Tomorrow, they'll be having roast duck with mashed potatoes, and the next day, they'll have fish. The menu on there has many foods, including chicken, turkey, burgers, hot dogs (Friday's Special), eggs Florentine, breadsticks with cheese, and even a whole salami.

Tenma complained, "I'd like to see the Dean about this lunch menu! There is no pizza, or fried croquets, or hoagie sandwiches, or ANYTHING THAT'S AWESOMELY GOOD!"

Akira said, "They must have a diet for this school. It's simply a weird menu."

She added, "But it is also dirty…"

She pointed at the Friday Special – Hot dogs, minus buns. Akira added that the Friday Special is a very perverted move, since it serves with ketchup and mustard, but without a bun.

Eri shook in horror, "So… So sickening…"

Tenma smiled, "But it's so messy."

Eri thought, as she pondered, "Well, that explains the lesbian part. But something doesn't add up. How can then finish lunch, and then clean up after themselves, before returning to class? I don't get it."

She said to the girls, "Perhaps we should speak to the other girls, after school, and ask what they know."

Mikoto said, "Good idea. I hope Maru will let us interview them."

Akira asked, "Which shall we interview?"

"I'll take Class 1-A, Tenma, you take Class C, Mikoto, you do Class B, and Akira, you do Class E thru H."

The others said, "Right."

Eri thought, "Right now, I need proof of why this school is so weird…"

3:27pm – Maru Chacha showed us to our rooms.

Maru said, as she let the girls into a huge room with a couch, table, and bed, "Here. This is all I got. It's a bit cramped, but you'll be able to fit in four people. And tomorrow, I'll get you extra clothes."

Eri said, "Thank you. But, are you sure you're doing this? I mean, we're not students."

Maru said, "I know. But you are at the other school. Until I get some clothes ready, I'll give you some extra blazers. And I'll see if we have some short-sleeved ones… for human kind."

Eri asked, "What?"

Maru said, "I mean, some short-sleeved ones for your kind… But let me examine you, to measure your breasts, urgh, I mean see if you're fitted!"

She walked to Tenma and placed her hands on her waist. She then said, "Hmm… You're very small, Miss Tsukamoto."

She beeped, "Bust size: 30; waist size: 22; hip size: 29…"

Tenma groaned in sadness, "I'm such a small girl."

Maru turned to Mikoto, "Shall I?"

Mikoto blushed, "Uh… No, thanks…"

"I insist."

She held her waist and beeped, "Bust size: 34D; waist size: 22; Hip size: 32…"

Eri thought, "Wait… Why is she talking like a robot?"

She examined Akira, "Bust size: 30; waist size; 22; hip size: 31…"

She turned to Eri and asked, "May I?"

Eri stepped back, "Uh, no, thanks… I'll, uh, have Akira's size."

Maru smiled, "Good enough. I shall get you some, in the morning. In the meantime, make yourselves at home."

Eri, Tenma, and Mikoto said, "Thank you."

Maru said, as she closed the door, "See you later."

She shut the door, as Eri said, "Well, we might as well pick which one of us sleeps in the bed… It's enough for two people, but one of us needs to sleep on the couch."

She looked at the room, which was a single room with white paneling and with a bookcase, couch, shelf, table, chairs, and a light. There was NO TV in the room.

Tenma cried, "Aw, man! Three for the Kill is tonight! I'll have to tell Yakumo to fire up the VCR, tonight."

Mikoto said, "And there's not even a bathroom."

Tenma went to her cellphone and sent a message to her sister. Akira looked at the chairs and said, "This is good enough for four people. However, I don't get why there is one queen-size bed."

Mikoto said, "Maybe because this room is good for two… but there's no bathroom, bedroom, or kitchen."

Tenma said, "It must be the guest room."

Akira replied, "No student would want a room like that."

Eri said, "I don't know… If only we can ask Maru about the room here."

She thought, as she sat down, "Strange… If my hunch is correct, we must be living in a weird survivor place… but…"

Tenma cheered, "YAY! Yakumo got my message!"

Eri said, "Hey, Tenma, you want to sleep with me, tonight?"

Akira said, "Dibs on the couch."

Mikoto asked, "Hey… can Maru give me an extra sleeping bag?"

They were resting, as Eri was pondering about this situation.

Meanwhile, the girl in purple hair was in another room, with two other girls. A girl with long blue hair asked, drinking a box of motor oil, "So, Nodoka… Did you find something you see, at class?"

Nodoka said, as she held up a picture of the four girls, "I found someone I see… She must be a new student."

She pointed at Tenma and giggled, "She's perfect."

To be continued…