This is supposed going to be a series of songfics about my favorite couple in HP. Enjoy. This'n takes place in HBP, probably around October, maybe November. I own nothing.
I'm still trying to figure out
How to tell you I was wrong
I can't fill the emptiness inside
Since you've been gone
Remus stared blankly at the far wall. Where was Dor- He stopped himself. Tonks. Where was Tonks? He couldn't call her Dora now, not after the way he'd treated her. He wasn't worthy for her to look at. But still... He missed her, missed calling her Dora, missed the way she flushed
So is it you or is it me?
I know I said things that I didn't mean
But you should've known me by now
You should've known me
He tried to justify his actions. After all, he'd had to. It was for her good, wasn't it? Were they even to go out on one date her reputation could be ruined. Besides, hadn't she been able to see the unmasked longing in his eyes? If it wasn't love, he didn't know what it was. They could just be friends. But she knew him better than that, didn't she? She had to. Didn't she?
If you believed when I said
I'd be better off without you
Then you never really knew me at all
He thought they were close, definitely more than friends, and he prayed - really, truly prayed - that she hadn't taken his words to heart. Surely she knew he didn't mean it. Well, not really. He meant every single thing he said about himself. But the things he'd said about her... She had to know that he didn't think of her like that. It had nothing to do with her and everything to do with him.
If you believed when I said
That I wouldn't be thinking about you
You thought you knew the truth
But you're wrong
Did she... did she really think that? He paled, dropping his head into hands. No... she couldn't... She had to understand. She must think she had him figured out, then, the way she hadn't come back to Grimmauld place. She had gone back to her flat; he guessed that now. Otherwise... He didn't want to think about it.
You're all that I need
Just tell me that you still believe
She'd been on some Auror mission at the Ministry. Why wasn't she already back? All the blood drained from his face. What if something happened to her? What if something already had? She had to know that he didn't mean that, he hadn't ever thought of her like that... She had to come back, he had to tell her the truth. And she had to believe him...
I can't undo the things
That led us to this place
But I know there's something more
To us than our mistakes
It was his fault, he knew that. It was always his fault. But hadn't part of it been her? Just a small part, yes. Practically throwing herself at him all the time was insignificant compared to the way he'd treated her. They'd both been wrong, so many times. But surely they had something else, something more... Didn't they?
So is it you or is it me?
I know I'm so blind when we don't agree
But you should've known me by now
You should've known me
Whose fault was it? If it was anyone's fault. Fenrir Greyback, he decided after a moment. If he hadn't bitten him... But no, the blame still rested squarely on his own shoulders. They didn't agree on what their relationship was, what it could become. He knew they could only ever be friends. She was determined they could be something more. He'd stopped listening, stopped seeing... he didn't want to hear her reasons, her arguments. He probably should have, though, all things considered.
If you believed when I said
I'd be better off without you
Then you never really knew me at all
He'd told her that things would be better if she would just leave him alone. He hadn't phrased it exactly like that, though... There might have been a few swear words thrown into the mix... But how could she have believed that? They'd been close. Besides Sirius, she was his best friend, his closest companion. And now they were both gone, because of him.
If you believed when I said
That I wouldn't be thinking about you
You thought you knew the truth
But you're wrong
Of course he'd said he would forget about her. What else could he say? He'd thought she would know the truth, that his mind was all but consumed with thoughts of her. He'd had to remind himself to eat, almost to breathe, since she'd left. She'd really believed him...
You're all that I need
Just tell me that you still believe
He needed her desperately. He couldn't imagine what the wolf would be like on the next full moon. It mirrored his emotions, and unless Sniv- Severus got him his potion - something he claimed he was having trouble brewing, being so busy, though the entire Order knew the truth - he'd claw himself to shreds. But whenever he spoke to her just as friends, even nothing more than a conversation in passing, the wolf seemed almost peaceful, calm.
Is it you or is it me?
I know I said things that I didn't mean
You should've known me by now
You should've known me
I didn't mean that! he screamed silently. I didn't... ever... mean... a word... of it! She should have known... She had always known; what was so different now? Why couldn't she see the truth? She always knew... always...
If you believed when I said
I'd be better off without you
Then you never really knew me at all
Then again... did he really want her to know the truth? Even if it hurt him, even if it hurt her, wasn't it better this way? Maybe in time he really would forget about her... He knew she would forget him; he wasn't worth remembering. It still hurt.
If you believed when I said
That I wouldn't be thinking about you
You thought you knew the truth
But you're wrong
They'd talked about it, even. He'd admitted his feeling for her, once. Of course he hadn't come right out and said it, said he loved her, but he thought he had made himself clear. He'd revealed his heart to her, practically given it to her, before he came to his senses. He ignored her for a little while, but apparently she had taken hope from the way he'd talked to her that night. It hadn't been until he'd practically screamed at her to leave him alone, with all his reasons why they could never work it out, that she'd left.
'Cause you're all that I want
Don't you even know me at all?
You're all that I need
Just tell me that you still believe
And now all he wanted was to take her into his arms, kiss her, tell her he loved her... But he couldn't. It was too late. She wouldn't believe him when he apologized; he'd lied too many times. But if she did...