A/N: Soo, here it is, my first ShikaNeji story. And I failed. I'm banking on it to be horribly OOC. I apologize lots and lots. I really tried...really I did. And this is my first story completed in forever. Seriously, writer's block has been my enemy for the last several weeks. And even now that it's over, don't expect a lot of stories. School just started and I'm really really pumped. I'M LEARNING FRENCH! Which reminds me...I have homework on that I have to do..grumbles Oh well, so leave me reviews, good or if you have some constructive criticism for me, I would appreciate it! Please, no flames, they're pointless. And annoying. Oh! And if you find something you think is a typo or anything like that, PLEASE TELL ME! I try really hard, but I am not perfect! I hope you're all doing great! And arigato for reading!
Disclaimer: Must I? Yes? Fine. I will own the day you see Shikamaru and Neji making out. And Shino and Kiba. And Lee and Gaara. And Sasuke and Naruto. And Kakashi and Iruka. And this list goes on and on. So, if you see them making out, then you know that I, or another one of the yaoi fangirls, got a hold of ownership.
Summary: Shikamaru has feelings for Neji but can't figure out how to tell him. And once he does, the stress gets to him. YAOI SHIKANEJI! Nothing graphic because I don't have anywhere near the talent to do so.
As everyone in Konoha knows, Shikamaru Nara is a genius. That is, until it comes to the L word. You see, when it comes to that word and all of its meaning and the situations it provides, Shikamaru Nara is an idiot. And that pisses him off more than losing a game of Shogi.
It wouldn't bother him so much if it the person he'd fallen for was a woman. That, in fact, might have made things a little easier. Because everyone knows that a dozen roses, some sweet yet corny pick up line and maybe some jewelry would seal the deal in no time.
But there was a curve ball thrown at him with this one. Because the person he was in love with was a boy. Not just any boy, oh no. This one was a proud Hyuuga boy. First name Neji, just to clarify.
It had started after the attempt to rescue Sasuke had been a complete and utter disaster. Shikamaru had felt so damn guilty that he went around to all the seriously injured and sat with them for a while to clear his conscious. When he went to see Neji not only did he come to realize how adorable said ninja happened to be, but also that his eyes looked more like clouds than he'd first thought. And, as everyone knows, Shikamaru likes clouds. A lot.
It was like poetry in motion from there. Shikamaru stopped by more frequently and Neji seemed to really enjoy the company of someone of great intelligence. Once Neji was better, they began to spend time regularly, not really caring if Hiashi approved of it. Who, to be honest, wasn't too thrilled about the lazy boy's sudden attention.
Neji showed Shikamaru that not all people were as troublesome as he had originally figured. He proved to Shikamaru that some people would not talk his ear off, but rather enjoy a comfortable silence while cloud gazing and bird watching. Neji didn't need to talk or be reassured that his company was enjoying themselves. If they weren't, well, they were free to leave as they pleased. He wouldn't stop them. Shikamaru would never leave though. He was too wrapped up in the other boy's eyes to ever leave. It was on a similar day that Shikamaru choose to finally tell him.
Now that Shikamaru had decided that he was going to tell Neji how he felt, he had one more dilemma. How to confess his undying love for Neji without A) Getting his ass kicked by Neji, B) Losing Neji forever or C) Ending up facing the wrath of Hiashi if Neji happened to not hate him or leave him. All three were troublesome and painful outcomes, be them emotional, physical or both. Once he realized that there was no escaping said consequences, he put those in the back of his mind and focused on the how part.
Now, there were many ways to do it. Slipping him a note, having a friend say something, spelling it out with fireworks in the sky. All were intriguing, if not a little irrational, but interesting. Then there was the one way that terrified Shikamaru.
Just saying it. Face to face. No notes, no coning a friend and no expensive fireworks that probably wouldn't have said it right anyway. Just straight up "I like like you and I don't care what anyone else says". Simple, sweet and to the point and at the same time the most likely to get his face smashed into the wall before he can even get the "and I don't care what anyone else says" part out.
In the end, he decided a note would be his best bet. It said what he wanted to say and, if Neji was angry, meant that he could run away and never ever ever ever ever ever come back. Ever.
Writing the note was easy. Somewhat. Trouble finding the right words and other frivolous things plagued him, but it was considerably easy. Deciding when to give the note was another thing. Finding the right time was key. Hopefully, his judgment wouldn't fail him. Hopefully.
"Shikamaru? Helloooooo? Anyone home?" Ino waved a hand in front of the lazy boys face to break him out of his trance. It was hard enough having Chouji eating all the food that laid on the lunch table, but to have Shikamaru spacing in and out was really starting to annoy her. "Are you listening?" To be truthful, he wasn't, but he nodded anyway, just to get Ino off his back.
"Really? Answer my question then," she smirked. Shikamaru grumbled, the only understandable words being "troublesome" and "woman". "That's what I thought. I was asking about that note you keep fiddled with in your hand. Is it a secret love note?"
"I don't see how that would be any of your business," Shikamaru said bluntly. He hoped this would put her off but Ino was like a dog with a bone. Or Naruto with ramen.
"Come on Shika, you can tell me anything!" Ino pleaded, giving her best fake puppy eyes.
"Not unless I want it spread all around Konoha by sundown," Shikamaru hissed at her, "which, I might add, I don't." Ino shook it off and continued her prying.
"Is it for someone special?"
"Yes, now will you get off my back?" growled the lazy boy.
"Now you have to let me read it!" Ino cried, reaching out to snatch the note, but Shikamaru was too quick and stuffed it into his pocket.
"Ino, can you just leave him alone?" Chouji asked, speaking for the first time in nearly ten minutes. "It's obvious that it's pretty personal and he doesn't want anyone else to read it."
"But if he's getting this defensive over it then it has to be like a secret love note or something!"
"Even if it is, what's it to you?" Shikamaru snapped.
"Because! I'm a girl, that's all the reason I need!"
"And you being a girl is all the more reason that I shouldn't let you see it! Who knows what you'll do with that information."
"Maybe I could help you! Girls are much more experienced where areas of love are concerned. You aren't just going to give them the note are you? You should get them flowers too, just to show that you're serious," Ino's rambling was beginning to irritate him to the point of no return.
"I think the note would be my best bet, they don't really seem like that type that would like flowers shoved in their face," Shikamaru droned. Ino crinkled her nose.
"What kind of girl doesn't like flowers? Whoever she is, she's weird!" Ino commented.
"Shut up, you don't even know who they are," Shikamaru growled. "You'd understand if you knew."
"Then tell me so I can understand!"
"No, like I said before, that's none of your concern."
"Stop being so difficult Shikamaru!" Ino shouted.
"Stop prying into my personal life—what?!" Shikamaru yelled, wheeling around to see who was tapping his shoulder.
"I'm assuming this is a bad time," a familiar, cool voice calmly said. "I'll come back later."
"No!" Shikamaru said, far too hastily. "I mean, uh, it's fine. You can stay. Why don't you eat with us?"
"I wouldn't want to intrude," Neji politely declined. Ino looked from Neji to Shikamaru back to Neji and then to Shikamaru once more. Realization snapped in her head and she suddenly caught exactly what was going on. The blush that tinted Shikamaru's cheeks, the look of disappointment that graced his face, the way his eyes lit up when he realized who was tapping on his shoulder...
"Shikamaru!" Ino cried so loudly and excitedly that it startled all three of the boys.
"Uh...yea?" Shikamaru cringed.
"Um...never mind. Chouji and I need to get going, so why don't you stay here and keep Shikamaru company, Neji?" Ino grabbed the chubby boys hand and began to lead him away.
"But I'm still hungry!!" Chouji whined, as she dragged him out of the restaurant.
"I'll buy you something later just hush!" Ino scolded.
"What is it that we have to do anyway?" Chouji asked, pulling out a chocolate bar.
"Are you blind? Did you see the way Shikamaru was staring at Neji! It's so obvious that even you should have been able to figure it out!"
"Uhh, okay," Chouji shrugged.
"Come here!" she rolled her eyes, grabbing him by the wrist and leading him carefully back in. "Don't make a sound." She warned, slipping them into a booth behind the one Shikamaru and Neji were sitting at. She propped up one of the menus in front of her face, whispering to the waiter that she just wanted two cups of water. When Chouji began to whine again, she threw in an order of bread sticks. Content with the fact that he was getting food, Chouji listened in to the conversation Ino was so intent hearing.
"So...um...do you come here often?" Shikamaru's voice was shaking slightly as he spoke.
"Not really. I stopped by your house to see if you were home but your mother said that you'd come here with Ino and Chouji. I wanted to ask if you were free tomorrow. I didn't mean to ruin your lunch with your friends," Neji seemed totally unaware of Shikamaru's behavior as he looked at the menu, trying to decide what to order.
"You didn't, honestly. I don't know what their deal is. They never told me about any plans," Shikamaru looked past Neji to the booth behind theirs and saw exactly what he'd been expecting. Ino. Trying to hide behind a menu with Chouji munching on a basket of bread sticks.
"Troublesome," Shikamaru murmured.
"Pardon?"
"Oh, nothing. Yeah, I was hoping that I'd see you today," Shikamaru swallowed before continuing, "I wanted to give you this." He reached into his pocket and pulled out the note he'd been obsessing over most of the day. Neji took the note, surprise crossing his face as he did so. He started opening it but noticed how nervous Shikamaru seemed to get.
"Would you like me to wait until I'm in a more private place to read this?" Shikamaru sheepishly nodded. Neji smiled warmly and made the Nara's heart do a triple back flip. Shikamaru groaned in response. He was being such a girl about this.
"Are you alright?" Neji asked, stuffing the note into his pocket.
"Yeah...I just get annoyed easily by troublesome girls," he pointed at Ino who was currently fighting with the waiter about ordering something or getting out. Neji shot a glance over his shoulder and couldn't hold back a second smile.
"Why did she leave us alone if she was just going to come back anyway?" he whispered to Shikamaru.
"'Cause she's Ino. She loves trying to interfere in everyone's personal lives," Shikamaru rolled his eyes.
"What's so interesting about us eating lunch though?" Neji questioned, still keeping his voice down, even though there was no need to. Ino was now being escort out, Chouji following close behind her. Neji looked after them, impressed.
"I can't believe she's putting up that much of a fight," he smirked.
"I can't believe that guy is actually getting her to leave," Shikamaru grinned. Neji smiled even broader, something rare for anyone else but nothing out of the ordinary for Shikamaru.
"Anyway," Neji coughed after a long period of silence, "I should really get going. I didn't bring any money..."
"It's no a problem, I can pay for both of us."
"No, I don't want you to waste your money. I really need to get going. Besides, how am I suppose to read your note if I stay here?" Shikamaru froze momentarily then nodded.
"I need to get going anyway. Ino and Chouji are probably waiting."
"So, are we on for tomorrow?" Neji asked. Shikamaru nodded again and Neji smiled for a record breaking fourth time.
"Bye Shikamaru," Neji said before turning to leave. On his way out he saw Ino staring at him with a big grin on her face waving frantically with Chouji absentmindedly eying the restaurants down the street. Neji waved back, just to be polite. Mentally, he was trying to figure out why she was waving at him. She barely acknowledged him before today, what was she gaining by being nice? And what was with her jumping up and taking Chouji when he started talking to Shikamaru? Shikamaru was right. It was easy to get annoyed by troublesome girls.
It was three o'clock in the morning and Shikamaru was still up. Stupid genius brain. Thought after thought after thought spun through his head as he contemplated whether or not Neji was going to show up at his house tomorrow. After reading the note, probably not. Still, Shikamaru couldn't stop the shimmer of hope that plagued him continuously, even after calculating the odds of Neji actually accepting his feelings, let alone returning them, over and over again. It was a bleak outcome each time and the more he thought about it the more he thought the note was a stupid idea.
Still, he didn't regret saying what he felt. He only regretted the fact that he didn't do it face to face or let Neji read it in front of him so he didn't have to do all the waiting and pondering. It was too much. He had to see Neji now. So, as quietly and carefully as he could, he snuck out the window. It was easier than he'd thought because the window didn't make its usually creaking as his slid it open. Maybe because it was warmer out or maybe it was just because he'd been using it to sneak out more often. Whatever the reason, Shikamaru was thankful. He really didn't need his mom panicking all night over his safety.
The trip to Neji's was almost as unbearable as sitting around. His weak stomach combined with his wobbly knees made the physical part of the trip almost unachievable and his mind kept making the psychological part extremely troublesome.
It took him less time than he'd originally planned to arrive at the Hyuuga residence and once he did he noticed immediately that Neji's light was off, as was to be expected. Hiashi scolded Neji and his two cousins if they stayed up passed nine. Besides that, it was almost freaking three-thirty in the morning. No one in their right mind would be up at this hour.
"Neji probably needs his beauty sleep anyway," Shikamaru grinned. He always teased Neji about how pretty he looked or how beautiful he was. It annoyed Neji to no end, but he allowed it to slide since it was Shikamaru. He just assumed that Shikamaru was joking, even though most of the time the shadow-wielder was being serious.
Sneaking to Neji's bedroom window was easy. He was a ninja—duh it was easy. That aside, he preferred to use the window compared to the front door. As previously stated, Hiashi didn't approve that much of him anyway and Shikamaru was aware of that so he did his best to stay out of his way when he was there.
Taking a quick peek into the window he could see that Neji was completely passed out. Shikamaru couldn't help the look of rapt adoration that crossed his face at seeing the sleeping boy. His hair was tussled all about, encircling his head almost angelically. His face was totally relaxed, unlike when he was awake. Usually, his face always had some tenseness about it, but he seemed completely at peace at that very moment. His pale skin shone brightly in the moonlight and his right hand rested above his forehead while the other was laid across his stomach. Shikamaru felt his breathing hitch the longer he stared. It took him several moments to snap back to reality.
"Focus," Shikamaru thought to himself, "if you don't then there's a good chance someone might catch you out here. Hinata wouldn't be that bad, but I'd rather not face an infuriated Hiashi...but...he's so beautiful..." He was so lost in thought that he didn't even notice the rustling on the other side of the window. So when he went to knock on the window, Neji was one step ahead of him, opening the window before the younger boy's fist even tapped it. Unfortunately, Shikamaru hadn't been prepared for this and was totally taken off guard, jumping backwards and tripping over his own two feet.
Neji was...amused, to say the least. He could tell from the scolding look on Shikamaru's face that he was cursing Neji for being so sneaky and berating himself for not paying closer attention.
"Would you like to come in?" the smirk playing on Neji's lips was plain as the nose on his face.
"That would be nice..." Shikamaru wrinkled his nose at the Hyuuga. Neji backed away from the window, stretching and yawning as Shikamaru climbed stealthily through the window.
Shikamaru sat comfortably on Neji's bed, picking bits and pieces of leaves and broken sticks that were lodged in his hair. Neji stood on the opposite side of the room, his arms wrapped around his torso, almost defensively. They both stayed silent for several moments, unsure of what to say. Shikamaru kept his mind off the tense atmosphere by studying Neji's room more closing. It was a lot smaller than he'd thought at first, though the size was probably decreased a great deal by the various books and their shelves that were located all around the room. There were few pictures on the wall, Neji not being one to enjoy such silly things. There was one of Lee, Gai, Tenten and himself and a few of him and Shikamaru, but other than that the walls were bare. The bed was large, taking up a great deal of the room by itself. The sheets and pillow cases were a bright white but the covers were a deep midnight blue, Neji's favorite color. After scanning the room several more times, Shikamaru finally decided they needed to talk about what was hanging in the air.
"Neji...I know I probably made you feel uncomfortable by what was in my note but—" Shikamaru was cut off by Neji.
"I wasn't uncomfortable," Neji mumbled. "I was...caught off guard. I've never had someone say they had such strong feelings about me." Shikamaru swore he saw a small blush creep to Neji's pale cheeks. He couldn't be sure though, since Neji was pretty much facing the opposite direction as him. He had to listen extremely carefully to understand what he was saying.
"I meant everything I said in that note," Shikamaru murmured. "I know you probably would never consider looking at me in that way, but I was driving myself nuts thinking about the possibility of you never knowing. Even if my feelings were rejected, I couldn't not tell you." Shikamaru knew there was a blushed on his face, he could feel the familiar heat on face. He was starting to get more and more edgy as the seconds went by, thinking that Neji's silence was a sign that he should leave.
"Neji...please don't hate me," Shikamaru almost begged. "That was my biggest fear when I decided to tell you how I felt." Neji said something under his breath that Shikamaru couldn't make out.
"Huh?"
"I don't hate you," Neji repeated, still barely audible. "I could never hate you Shika-kun." Shikamaru froze. Neji called him Shika-kun.
"You don't?"
"No."
"Are you mad at me?" Shikamaru asked. Neji shook his head lightly. "Then...?"
"I think..." Neji murmured, taking a moment to contemplate his words. "That I have feelings for you as well." The last part was almost silent, but Shikamaru heard it.
"You...have feelings for me?" Shikamaru echoed. Neji nodded a shy nod once more, the blush on his cheeks now a bright red. He kept his gaze transfixed on the floor, refusing to look up into Shikamaru's eyes. When he finally gained the courage to look up, Shikamaru was right in front of him. Neji had to resist the urge to jump back as Shikamaru's hand graced his cheek. With Shikamaru standing so close to him, it was hard to breathe.
"You're not just kidding with me? You honestly feel...the way I do?"
"I would never joke about something as serious as my emotions. Or yours," Neji added, reaching his hand up to touch Shikamaru's. Shikamaru smiled, leaning in to brush his lips against Neji's. Neji, once again, stopped moving and tensed even more when Shikamaru rested a hand on his hip.
"You're not used to being touched this much, are you?" Shikamaru grinned as he pulled back, but kept his hand on Neji's slender hip. Neji shook his head fiercely, trying to turn his head away so Shikamaru couldn't see his flushed face.
"I...never thought..."
"That'd I'd hold you like?" Shikamaru finished for him. The way Neji's eyes flashed told him the answer was yes. "It's okay, I never though you'd let me hold you like this."
"I like it," Neji mumbled. Shikamaru smirked and pressed his lips against Neji's cheek.
"Me too."
"Neji! Father's coming upstairs!" Neji heard Hanabi hiss. Neji's eyes widened and Shikamaru mouthed the word "shit!" before turning to jump out the window.
"Wait!" Neji quietly cried. Shikamaru froze.
"What?" Neji pecked a quick, chaste kiss to Shikamaru's lips.
"Your house, tomorrow?"
"Definitely," Shikamaru responded. Neji couldn't stop the smile that fell across his face in time with Shikamaru's.
"Bye," Neji waved with hopeful eyes.
"Bye," Shikamaru said and with a few hand and a small poof, he was gone. Neji scolded the shadow-nin after he'd gone.
"If he could do that justu, why did he run over to my house?"