Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally.
Dear Austin,
I know that I can be controlling and bossy. I know that I get upset over the stupid things. Which is why I am writing this. I don't actually intend on you seeing it but I just need this written. I'm so sorry for everything i've done. I just don't have the courage to give in and apologize. Every time I give in and apologize. I say I'm sorry even though you have no clue what you did to make me mad. Yet, I still feel that I need to say sorry for being mad at you. I get that it sounds so messed up because this whole thing we have going on is messed up.
Austin I love you, I swear to god I do love you. Sure it might not last forever, but I can tell you that right now I do. I'm by no means the best girlfriend. I'm failing you and I know it. You could do so much better than me. Yet for some strange reason you stay. You deal with all the bullshit I put you through. You try your best to help me and all I do is get mad at you. I'm sorry that my mind is so messed up that I lash out. I push you away, put up my guard, avoid everyone. I know I can and almost always am a bitch. I just want things to go back to the way they were.
I hate this it hasn't been that long and I already want to reach out and text you. I so badly want to say I'm sorry but it goes way past some stupid grades. There is so much more to my anger that you don't know about. You don't know what's been running through my mind. All the hate and the self doubt. I know that if you did know about it all this wouldn't be happening. You would be by my side helping through it. You would tell me it's okay and let me rant until I cry.
I am so sorry, Austin. I am so sorry for every single thing I have done to hurt you. I can't see through my petty anger to see that my actions are affecting others. I want to change every single bad choice i've made but I cant. The past is the past and all I can do is move forward and hope that by some miracle you decide to forgive me for everything I have put you through.
Love,
Ally
Ally slowly folds the letter and shoves it in a box with various other letters. With a sigh she runs her hand through her hair and turns on some music. She sits there for what feels like ever just thinking. Wondering how she could have messed up so badly. She knew deep down that in no more than two days she would give in and apologize but for now she was going to stand strong. She wasn't going to give in just yet.
Ok so there will be more chapters. I just really needed to vent some feelings, basically I just changed some names and there you go the last 24 hours of my life. So I may be kinda sad right now but that doesn't mean I don't want to talk. So if you want to talk or rant or anything just PM me. I really appreciate every single one of you.
Hugs and Kisses
WildHeartsR5 (Vega)