Chapter 1: Ponyboy's Deadly Guilt

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own "The Outsiders" or any of the Curtis' Gang. :( Sad. The real owner of "The Outsiders" is my favorite author, the fabulous S.E. Hinton. I also do not make a profit from the stories that I write here on this site.

A/N: If you like it, love it, or even if you hate it, you know what to do. Tell me in a review. I would love it if you favored, followed, and/or if you gave me (a) suggestion(s). Thank you. :)

I'm posting a one-shot to make up for my absence.

**Whoever is the sixth reviewer gets to suggestion a one-shot for me to post! :)

This is written as like a suicide note, so ignore the strange way I arranged his thoughts. It's suppose to be like that. :)

Ponyboy's POV

Have you ever gotten so low, so depressed that life itself is too hard? I have. After Johnny and Dally died I tried to kill myself.

Darry found me holding a gun to my head in my room. I shot, but cruelly I missed. Someone up there really hates me, making me live. It's too hard.

My brother's locked up all the knifes and sharp object, but the funny thing is, I'm already dying; I'm dying without spilling any blood. But mark my words, one day, soon, I might just explode. And it'll be ugly.

Even my depression medicine is counted for me.

It's all my fault. If I wasn't so stupid, if I didn't decide to play hero then Johnny wouldn't be dead. I'm a greaser, a no good hood, not some super hero from a comic.

I couldn't even be a hero if I tried.

There was only way out, away from all the pain. I don't deserve to be here, I'm sorry. My brother's don't deserve this, but I do.

The only way out is to go into Darry's room and find the aspirin. Once in locate it I took the entire bottle and wait for the medicine to take action. Darry and Sodapop were working all day, they would never find me until it was too late.

I'm sorry, Darry. I'm sorry.

I did what I needed to do.

I don't even write them a note. They need to move on without me. One day they'll realize that is for the best, wherever I go I always seem to bring death along with me.

It'll all be over soon, I think.

A/N: Please review! Was it any good? Remember: Sixth reviewer gets to suggestion a one-shot!

Aufenthalt Gold,

~Alee xXx