Secret Admirer(unofficial title)
By MyPurpleDawn
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It was Hermione Granger's final year at Hogwarts, and she couldn't be happier to be Head Girl. And the only thing that made it better was that one of her two best friends in the whole world just happened to also be Head Boy. Of course, Ron was a bit disappointed and somewhat jealous at first, but shortly things were back to normal and their first week back at Hogwarts couldn't have been more enjoyable. Then the weekend came, along with the letters.
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Dear Hermione,
I think I'm in love with you, but you would never love me back. I'm nothing like you, I'm a complete coward. I'm such a coward that I can't even tell you who I am.
Ever since last year, I've had this strange burning sensation in my chest that just won't go away. It's always there, but whenever I see you it gets ten times worse. Whenever I speak to you it gets a hundred times worse. And whenever you touch me it gets so severe that I feel like I'm going to faint. I'm not used to having people having this much of an affect on me.
These emotions are so new to me. And let me tell you, I hate feeling it. I hate being this confused and unaware of my emotions. I hate that I can't speak when I'm around you. And I especially hate loving you.
I don't want to love you. Love is not something that you don't consciously choose, it just happens.
Love. I loathe love. It makes me want to punch something, it makes me want to talk to you, it makes me want to laugh, to cry. And it's so damn confusing.
And what's weird is that I love all of the little things about you. I love the way you scrunch your nose when you're deep in thought. I love the way you're not afraid to stick up for something. I love the light freckles on your nose. I love how the color of your eyes vary from a light amber to a brown, depending on the day.
And I wish I could stop loving you, trust me, I've tried. But it's obviously not working. So, here I am, writing this to you at 2 am because I can't sleep. Hopefully getting this off my chest well help get some bloody sleep.
Hermione scrunched her nose in a confusion. She had no idea if she should be flattered, horrified, mad, or maybe a mixture of emotions. She could think of one specific emotion...confusion. So this was a... secret admirer? She shook her head.
Who would love me? She thought as she scanned the whole Great Hall. It's probably not a Gryffindor, for what a coward he claims to be. And probably not a Slytherin, due to my blood status.
Her eyes flicked across the Ravenclaw table, thinking of anyone she knew that might fancy her. The letter had come as quiet a shock, she didn't think many people had fancied her. Ron, of course, but he wasn't the type to send her letters listing things he loved about her. And the owl that delivered it to her wasn't Pigwidgeon. Plus, he was with Lavender.
Just the thought of Lavender made her grip her spoon tighter than necessary, turning her knuckles white.
She shrugged it off and went back to her oatmeal, she would talk to Ginny about it later. But she couldn't help but feel a burning curiosity inside of her. She absolutely had toknow. Perhaps she could write a letter back, begging for him to tell her his identity. Maybe it was somebody she didn't know.
She couldn't help but think of all the possibilities as she went up to the Head dormitories with Ginny.
Once they were inside, Hermione gave her the letter to read. One finished, she was practically squealing with excitement.
"Do you reckon it's Ron?" she asked, smiling devilishly.
Hermione shook her head. "No... Ron's really not the kind of person to do that...plus he's with Lavender," Hermione said thoughtfully, though she sort of wished that it was Ron.
Ginny shrugged. "I'll bet it's Ernie Macmillian from Hufflepuff," she said.
"And why is that?" Hermione asked, hands on her hips.
Ernie Macmillian? The Prefect? Why him?
She shrugged. "I dunno, he's just always seemed to have...you know, a thing for you." She giggled.
"What? No he doesn't!"
Ginny just rolled her eyes.
"Ginny, he says he doesn't want to love me. What if he doesn't love me at all? What if it's just somebody just pulling a prank?"
"Hermione," she groaned. "You're thinking too hard about it! It's somebody who has feelings for you, and just wanted to let it out."
"But-"
"Nope! Stop thinking Hermione, for once!"
She just sighed.
"So are you going to write back?" Ginny asked eagerly.
"I was thinking about it...but what should I say?" Hermione asked, biting the inside of her lip.
This was one thing that she wasn't experienced at at all. School? no problem. Friends? Pretty easy. But things like this? She didn't know a clue what to do.
"How about you write a long and thoughtful letter thanking him, and asking who he is. I could help you write it..oh and maybe you should throw in some..."
But Hermione wasn't listening. She grabbed a spare piece of parchment and scrawled down:
Please tell me who you are
Yes, it was simple, but at least it got right to the point. Ginny was still talking about the letter but Hermione cut her off.
"It's alright, Gin. I'm just going to send him this. I know what the owl looked like, so I'm going to go up to the owlrey and tell it to send the letter back to him. I'll see you soon."
Ginny gave a somewhat disappointed nod, and Hermione set off to the owlrey.
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As she was walking across the dropping-strewn floor and searching for the right owl, she couldn't help but analyze the letter that her 'mystery man' had sent her.
He hated to love her. What was that supposed to mean? How can you hate loving someone?
She remembered the part that had said, 'I love the way you scrunch your nose when you're deep in thought.'
She didn't even know that she did that, yet she just realized she was doing it then
After she had found the right owl, (light brown with flecks of gold and black) she instructed him to give it to the person who had sent one to her.
He hooted happily and immediately obeyed. Hermione sighed and started back to her room.
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"What is all of this 'secret admirer' business?" Harry demanded harshly as Hermione got back to the common room. Ginny was still there, and she had apparently told the now flustered Harry.
"Why is it so wrong if someone actually fancies me?" she asked defensively, a little taken aback at Harry's outburst.
"Well...there's nothing wrong... it's just kind of surprising," he said, his voice softer.
"And why is it so surprising that someone might actually like me?" Hermione asked, hurt. But Harry didn't get to reply, because the same owl that she had sent the letter to was now rapping at her window. Harry let out a huff of anger before stomping up to his room.
"Well, that was fast," Hermione mumbled as she let the owl in.
"I wonder why Harry got all worked up about it," Ginny mused as Hermione untied the letter from the owl's outstretched leg.
Hermione just shrugged. "I guess he's just being protective...I dunno," she said as she unfolded the small scrap of parchment. One word was written on it:
No
Hermione frowned, disappointed. "All he wrote is 'No'." Ginny seemed just as crestfallen.
"Oooh...wait..why don't you ask him what house he was in!" Ginny suggested.
"Brilliant idea!" Hermione exclaimed, and she got a new piece of parchment.
Will you at least tell me what house you're in?
-Hermione
A few minutes later, the owl was back.
Hermione,
I won't even tell you what house I'm in. But I will tell you one thing, I'm not a Gryffindor.
Well, will you at least give me a name for me to call you?
-Hermione
Hermione,
Why don't you just call me 'Breeze'. That's my owl's name. By the way, he's liking all of this letter sending, he doesn't get to do it often.
-Breeze
Breeze hooted happily as Hermione tied the next letter to his leg, he really did seem to enjoy himself.
"We should work on our homework," Hermione suggested as she got out her Potions Books to work on the extra essay Snape assigned to her (his reason was for her being a 'Know-it-all'). Ginny got out her own homework as well.
Breeze,
I like your owl. He's pretty.
But I really don't understand why you like me.
-Hermione
Hermione had just started writing when the next letter came.
Hermione,
You know, I don't either.
Oh, and I'm pretty sure he likes you too.
-Breeze
Breeze,
Why won't you tell me who you are?
-Hermione
Hermione,
I already told you, I'm a coward.
-Breeze
Breeze,
I don't think you're a coward.
-Hermione
Hermione,
How would you know? You don't know me.
-Breeze
Breeze,
Then why don't we get to know each other?
Tell me something nobody else knows about you.
-Hermione
Hermione stared down at her almost empty piece of parchment. There was no way she would be able to concentrate with all of this letter passing. What she really needed was some fresh air.
"You know what Gin, I think I need to go outside for a bit, I'll talk to you later." Hermione smiled at her best girl friend before grabbing her coat and bag and exiting the portrait hole. She headed for the doors that led to the outside.
She breathed in the fresh winter air as she shrugged on her jacket. As she just sat down by a tree overlooking the lake, Breeze came with the next letter.
Hermione,
Well, I love to draw more than anything. Basically that's my escape from the world. I feel like I can just loose myself with a quill and parchment, and turn a few meaningless squiggles and lines into something better. I like to think of me as one of those squiggles,waiting to be turned into something great.
What's something you've never told anyone?
-Breeze
Breeze,
Wow, that was pretty deep. Some days I also feel like a meaningless squiggle. But I'm not sure you're entirely meaningless, nobody is.
And I don't know if I should share with you something I've never told anyone about, for all I know you could be someone playing a prank.
Maybe if you told me who you are.
-Hermione
He didn't write back after that, which made Hermione pretty aggravated. She hoped she hadn't hurt his feelings. She hadn't meant to, after all. And she actually enjoyed talking to him. She kept her eyes peeled for an owl. After about fifteen minutes, she got up feeling slightly disappointed and went to the Great Hall for lunch.
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Harry wasn't mean to Hermione during lunch, he was just giving her the cold shoulder. Ron was oblivious to the whole scene, and was just as cheerful as ever.
Hermione might have expected this sort of behavior from Ron, but not from Harry. Sure, Harry might be a little protective, but he normally wouldn't act so childish.
But she didn't do anything about it.
If he wants to be unreasonable, he can be unreasonable, she thought.
She shook Harry from he mind and began to think of who Breeze could be. For all she knew, it could be a group of Slytherin girls (Pansy Parkinson, no doubt) just playing a prank on her to get her to reveal some information.
No, it couldn't be them, they're not clever enough.
She walked up to her room and lay down on her bed, and only after seconds of lying down she heard a sharp tap tap on her window.
With happiness swelled in her chest she opened the window to let Breeze in.
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Author's Note: What do you think of this first chapter? Let me know! Did it suck? Did you love it? How can I make it better? What did you love/hate about it? Questions/Comments/Ideas are ALWAYS welcome. Who do you guys think Breeze is?
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