Chapter 1: Selfish

Author's Note: I really wish I owned the characters, so I could hang out with the actor's in real life but that'll never happen so I just write about them.

"You're being selfish!" Blaine yelled at Kurt from a safe distance across the room.

"You want to talk about selfish Blaine?" Kurt shouted in response. "I fucking LOVE you and YOU are just looking for an excuse to walk out the door." He slid to the floor, exhausted from fighting. It had been hours.

"YOU'RE only trying to get me to stay so you're not alone. It's not like you really want to be with me anymore."

Kurt gasped and stormed across the room to stand face to face with Blaine. He took a deep breath and tried to steady the level of his voice. "I want to make this work more then anything. I'd do anything to make it right. You of all people should realize that."

Blaine rolled his eyes and ran his fingers through his perfect hair. "Look, I'm going to go, at least for tonight. We both need time to think."

He brushed past Kurt before he could get a word in edgewise. Kurt followed him into the bedroom, tears stinging at his eyes, and watched as Blaine packed some clothes into a duffel bag, along with his laptop. "This is for the best, and you'll realize that."

Kurt felt the tears he had been fighting back for hours running down his cheeks. "Will you at least tell me where you'll be?"

Blaine sighed and reluctantly said, "Wes'. I text him and he said it's fine if I spend the night there."

"Fine. GO. LEAVE." The anger rose above the tears momentarily.

Blaine grabbed his phone, and his bags and looked at Kurt face softening a little, "It really is for the best right now." He started walking to the front door. Leaving Kurt at their bedroom door, staring.

The front door clicked shut. Kurt slid to the floor, and wrapped his arms around his legs and just sobbed. For him. For Blaine. For their failing relationship. For everything. For anything. He crawled over to his iPod docked on the TV stand in the living room and hit play.

'I just came to say
goodbye love, goodbye love
came to say goodbye love, goodbye.'

He had been on a Rent kick the day before. But at this moment in time, it was the absolutely worst song to play. Kurt quickly turned it off and reached for his phone, laying across the living room floor.

To: Finn

Message: Blaine is gone. I don't know what to do with myself. What's the point of doing anything anyway?

Less then a minute later his phone vibrated in response.

From: Finn

Message: What happened? Don't do anything stupid. Stay where you are, I'll be there in less then 10 minutes.

Kurt reached underneath the TV stand and grabbed something, clenching his fingers around it, closed his eyes and faded into darkness.

–

Finn jumped out of bed and grabbed the nearest pair of pants and shirt that were laying on the floor. Rachel stirred beside him, but not waking up until Finn ran into the nightstand trying to get dressed in the dark.

"What's wrong?" She asked, sitting upright.

"It's Kurt. Blaine left, and I don't think he's safe to be alone. I'm really worried about him. He wouldn't text me at 1 AM for nothing."

"Do you want me to go with you?" She asked, throwing the covers back.

Finn nodded, "I'd appreciate it."

Rachel turned on the light and went to her closet to find something to change into.

"Doesn't have to be perfect, hon," Finn called to her.

"Easy for you to say," she replied.

After she'd settled on jeans and a blouse, they were out the door.

–

Blaine knocked on Wes' door at 1:15 AM, relieved to see that he hadn't been asleep already. He hugged his friend, "Thank you so much for letting me come by so late. I had to get out."

"No problem, you know you can come over anytime. It's not like I go to bed till 2 or 3 in the morning.. On a weeknight. And considering it's Friday night, there's a good chance it'll be an all nighter."

Blaine shook his head, shutting the door behind him. "I can't get the image of Kurt's face when I left out of my head. It's haunting me."

Wes put his hand on his friend's shoulder. "Start at the beginning and don't leave anything out."

–

Before Kurt even unclenched his fist, he felt the blood running down his arm. He looked down and saw the mark on the bottom of his palm oozing the red liquid. It wasn't deep. He could say that he ran into something.

The door swung open before he could even cover what he'd done. Finn and Rachel burst in, letting the door slam shut as they rushed over to his side.

"Oh honey, what did you do?" Rachel asked, taking Kurt's hand in her own. "Finn, could you grab me a towel, Neosporin, and a couple band-aids please?"

Finn nodded and went into the bathroom, emerging a minute later with a black hand towel and a first aid kit. After Rachel had treated the cut, she and Finn helped Kurt off the floor and onto the couch.

"Now, what happened?" Finn asked gently, putting his arm around his step-brother. Rachel was wiping a few spots of blood off the hardwood floor and cleaning up before sitting on the other side of Kurt.

"He's been distant lately, and when I tried to help, it was useless. We've been fighting. But tonight it got really bad.."

–

"I don't want to hurt Kurt," Blaine explained to Wes. "But that's all I seem to do. When we argue, he cries, and I feel bad."

"What happened tonight?" Wes inquired.

"I called him selfish. That all just wanted me to stay so he wouldn't be alone. He cried then got angry and then went numb as I walked out. He just stared at me. I don't know what's wrong with me, the only reason I want to leave is so I stop hurting him but I don't want to leave at the same time."

Wes nodded in understanding, leaning closer...

–

"Why is there a razor hidden under the TV?" Finn asked.

"It had fallen out of Blaine's utility knife and slid under there but I always forgot to throw it away. But when he walked out, and I heard 'Goodbye Love' on my iPod, I just reached for it."

Finn was nodding and hugged his step-brother again. "You're gonna get through this. Rachel and I are here for you."

"I know," Kurt sniffled. "But I don't want to live without him. I can't imagine it."

"But this isn't healthy," Rachel added.

Kurt sat straight up and looked at both of them. "He's my soul mate. Without him, my life is meaningless." He stood up and walked to the bathroom, letting the door shut with a loud thud.

"This can't be good," Finn murmured to Rachel, clutching her hand tight.

–

Author's Note: Stay tuned for: What happens with Blaine and Wes, Kurt and the many twists and turns to come. Please R/R!