Sunset light
I simply love "A Goofy Movie" and "An Extremely Goofy Movie", and while I was watching videos about those movies on youtube I came to read a couple of comments complaining there was no Roxanne (the girl Max was in love with in the 1st movie) in the second movie. So a user replied saying that probably they went different paths. "You know how it is when you finish high school and are off to college", that's more or less what he said, and it hit me.
I did like Roxanne, yet the fact that those two didn't end up with wedding made the story more real to me, since in real world things do not always have a happy ending.
So, thank you very much MrCherryCola for inspiring me :-)
As this story was first written in Italian (my mother language), then translated in English by myself, I'm sorry if there are any mistakes and would be glad if you told me something is wrong.
Thank you!
..
"I'm sorry".
That's all you can say?
The afternoon light died orange the whole neighborhood. We stood face to face, about three feet apart.
Apart, like we had probably never been before.
I wanted to tell you a lot of things, nevertheless not a word could get out of my mouth. And you weren't saying anything either.
I know it was just out of place, but I looked at you for a moment and thought you were amazing. Your brown reddish hair cut just an inch above your shoulders was bulgy, it was not straight by nature. And that light… Gosh, how beautiful you were with that light upon your face. Melancholic, yet beautiful.
"Th…Tha…"
Oh Man, not a single word would get out. I tried to use my gloved hands in spite of my mouth, so I stretched them in front of me trying with no use to close my fingers, which just slightly moved.
"… That's it?"
I could not believe it. It could not be that simple, it could not end with "I'm sorry".
You raised your head and looked at me. Your sad eyes hit my heart… maybe it'd had rather get a punch in the stomach.
"… Who is it?"
Your look instantly changed.
"What?"
"Who is it?" I yelled, and bitterly realized I had lost my control. Damn, I did not mean it, I did not! Yet I came out with that… but I didn't mean it!
"Who is who?" You knit your eyebrows, clearly wounded. This was turning pretty ugly, I know. Yeah, I know, sweetheart, it was my fault.
"I just don't believe it, Roxanne!" I yelled. "You must be dating another one, I know you do, at least tell me who it is!"
I didn't notice, no, I didn't notice I got closer to you, but immediately realized you backed away overawed. And I stopped, horrified.
Since when you were running from me?
"How can you be so self-centered?" you hissed, and I knew well that was your way to react at things. When things did not work, I knew it. You turned silent, speechless. Silent, no screaming.
At least, hissing.
Anyhow my mind was thinking one thing and I was doing the opposite: "then tell me, why?", No, I didn't want to hear your reasons – I didn't care you were trying to tell me something - I'd rather scream than listen to you, "why? Tell me! Why? What did I do this time?"
"You did nothing" you were saying over and over, shaking your head.
"Then why? Why can't we two just solve the thing?"
"Because there's no we two anymore, Max!"
"Then there IS someone else!"
"There isn't, Max!"
"I did anything for you, anything! And you cheated me!"
"I did not cheat you, Max!"
You had raised your voice… unusual for you – it was more of a whine than a scream.
We shut up instantly. Stared at each other.
That light… as long as I live, I won't forget it. And you were staring at me.
I already knew the truth, it was enough to look at you to understand it. But in that moment, I just wanted to see into your eyes the reflection of what was shining in mine.
"Of course…" I snorted. "Of course. We're off to college in a while, aren't we?" The more I talked the more despicably sarcastic I was, and the more I talked the more you were looking down. "I'm staying here close to home but you're moving to another State, of course, so a boyfriend is just a pain in the butt, right? So you're getting rid of me, aren't ya?"
I turned around, rubbing my hand into my hair. In a turnaround I relived like in a whirl two years and a half, two years and a half of dates, laughing, you by me, me by you, meet the parents, do anything you can to look like you're the best for their daughter, two years and a half, birthday and Xmas presents, and so on…
I looked at you, maybe I was even more desperate than I thought. You had your eyes fixed on the ground and kept silent.
"Just say something, God!"
"We cannot keep fooling ourselves, Max" you said at last, and those were the only things you could say. Damn me, I wanted to tear you apart to take out all the words I wanted to hear, even if just to hurt myself.
"Ro…Roxa…"
I tried to move forward, but I didn't even step forward that you had already backed away.
More silence. I felt I was you for a moment. I thought how hard it should be, do it without breaking my heart. Stand and face that storm all alone, instead of leaving.
I'm obsessed by a question: what if you were just waiting for my reaction? Any reaction?
No, you weren't. I could see it in your eyes, they were almost out of the thing… like they just were feeling sorry for me.
"Gotta go now" you eventually said. After an endless silence.
But you didn't turn soon after that.
You kept looking at me, still with that sadness on your face which was not for you, but entirely for me.
"Wait" I said when you were about to turn.
You stopped, exhausted.
I would have run with all my strength… I would have broken down that 3feet-barrier and I'd have kissed you, finally. But not an ordinary kiss. A tender, a bit desperate one – like me, after all.
Nevertheless, I couldn't move. That barrier was stronger than me.
Those two years and a half were turning into my head like I was in a merry-go-round. My Roxanne, my girlfriend. My Valentine. My Roxanne, my only one… my first one… our first time together… damn, it was hurting as though they were ripping my insides. My Roxanne. My Roxanne.
"So here it is? We… we bre-…"
I couldn't believe it. A lump in my throat, big like it was a stone, was keeping me from saying it. My nose was pinching, I felt like my eyes were bulging out of their sockets.
You stared at me once again, your guilty look on your face. That mole right on your cheek, I loved it.
My Roxanne.
"Yes".
My eyes started burning, I saw you blurred, winked a couple of times… and once I could see better, you had already turned away and were walking home, the backpack on your right shoulder, your softly worn pale pink top-shirt with large braces.
And that sunset light making anything, you too, even further.
Maybe you were right, Roxanne. Maybe, we both were just kids, and things went the way they had to. I already knew it would end up like this, your look had been talking to me for months. I just would ignore it.
I think about all the times I went and practice my skate. It was for you, Roxanne. I wanted to impression you. I wanted to show the world, and you, you did not have a weak-kneed, a goof, at your side. To show I was able to fly to the sun and bring you a sunray, if necessary. Maybe, I put too much of myself into this, maybe it's so.
Actually I'm still thinking about you, Roxanne. Even if many months passed. Even if you are miles and miles away from me, and I wonder what you are doing now. You'll surely be the best in your class, as you had always been. Clever, beautiful, humble, ready and willing.
What about me? Well, if you looked at me now you'd laugh. Yep, my dad is still after me. Yep, still, even though I'm eighteen – almost nineteen – and I'm in college, my dad is still being changing my nappy. Gosh, what a failure, what a failure!
Who knows if I'll keep going on. Forget you? Never. I guess I could never forget you, neither in a million years. At the moment I don't even feel like dating girls, here there is plenty. I'm so acting stupid, but at last I'm not doing anything with them. What a loser! And I'm even so stubborn to blame my dad… but it's me the #1 loser.
The difference between you and me is that I still loved you… correction, I do still love you. I would sell my soul to hell just to see you in the lecture theatre, sunny like I remember. But it'll never happen, your eyes told me why.
And I won't look for you, I promised.
"… I could find hundreds like her here…" I snort, angrily picking my protection helmet up from the bed and heading to the door while fixing my kneepads,
"… Even with dad around…"
Having said this, I shake off these thoughts, and try to remember where is the place I was told to meet P-J and Bobby.
..
..
The End.
Italian version: April 20th 2011
Ps. As Roxanne and Max are older than in the first movie, I changed Roxanne's hair cut and clothes.