I know I haven't been on here for months, but for my birthday someone very kindly sent me a muse. I don't know who it was yet, but I'd like to thank them. Whether or not you should thank them remains yet to be seen. Also, whilst Miracle Day's been going on I've been beginning to miss the old team again, so I decided I ought to bring them out again and dust them off.

I looked around to try and find out the Team's dates of birth, but only came up with Ianto's. So instead I just put the birthdays in the order that best suited the stories. Feel free to correct me if you like – I'm intrigued whether there are set dates or not now.

Language warning due to presence of Owen.

Oh, and while I got a muse for my birthday I did not, I repeat not, get the rights to Torchwood, despite putting them on my list. Again.

Tosh

The IM conversation continues

Owen: why can't you stop being so nosy?

Gwen: All I asked was 'how are you?' It's perfectly acceptable in most conversations

Owen: you didn't have to ask in such a condescending way

Gwen: I didn't! You just look worn out. Did you sleep last night?

Owen: that's private. Shove your nose in someone else's affairs

Tosh: You did look ill when you came in

Owen: I'm not ill

Tosh: you look it

Owen: I'm a doctor – I'm not ill

Gwen: you didn't take a doughnut when Ianto brought them round

Tosh: you normally take three

Owen: I'M NOT ILL!

Ianto: Not to interrupt, but how are those updates going?

Gwen: Wonderfully

Tosh: we've been concentrating really really hard…

Ianto: yes?

Owen: they're lying

Tosh: … it's just that the system is slow

Ianto: Could that be to do with the number of instant messages flying around?

Tosh: No, it's because I need to update the server. But I need some new equipment.

Ianto: Have you asked Jack?

Tosh: I will do

Gwen: I'd go tell him now – he's just come off the phone

Tosh has left the conversation

Owen: Can you see into Harkness' office from where you're sat?

Gwen: Not really.

Owen: Can I swap places with you?

Gwen: Why?

Ianto: I don't want to know

Gwen: I can't see him anyway. But when he's yelling at UNIT it's hard not to hear

Owen: especially when you've got your ear pressed to the door. Like last week. Yes, Gwen?

Gwen: anyway, that's not the point

Ianto: What is?

Gwen: It's Tosh's birthday next week

Owen: Tosh has a birthday?

Gwen: I thought we should give her a surprise party

Owen: you would

Gwen: Shut up, Owen. We need to sort out a present and someone needs to tell Jack

Ianto: I'll do that. And I can get a cake

Owen: There's going to be cake?

A week later, 10th June

8.13 am

It was only over breakfast that I remembered. I'd been puzzling about it all morning. I knew there was something I'd forgotten that I'd thought of last night, and at first I thought it was to do with the Bengvitian console that we'd picked up. But when I glanced at the calendar I found that I'd written 'my birthday' in today's square.

Not that it really matters. It might as well just say 'Thursday' or 'Mother's day – USA' for all the impact it makes. I mean, it's just another year older. It doesn't matter that much in the scale of things. And since I'm the only one who remembers anyway it's not really an opportunity for any kind of social gathering. Maybe I'll put a film on tonight, or something.

Of course, they might do something at work. They wrote me a card last year, and Ianto found me a bunch of flowers, but Gwen's here now. I remember what she was like at Christmas. And she was worrying about when Jack's birthday is not too long ago. I can just imagine her marshalling them all… A cake would be nice.

I bet they'd make it a surprise party though. This is Torchwood, after all.

Maybe this might not be such a bad birthday after all.

10.56 am

Seems I was right about the surprise party. Nobody's mentioned anything yet. No 'happy birthdays' or anything. No mysterious smiles. But Ianto's gone out shopping, and Jack's down in the cells… Maybe that's where they're preparing it. I can just imagine Janet in party hat… I'd better not go down, just in case.

Am I being overly hopeful here?

3.32 pm

I cracked the Bengvitian console, which is a good enough present for me!

I'm starting to have doubts, actually. Maybe they have forgotten. Or maybe they're just really good actors. If I were Jack I'd make me think that they'd forgotten all day, then spring something on me right at the end.

Oh come on Tosh, stop being so pathetic. Didn't you say this morning that birthdays don't really matter anyway?

A restaurant would be nice…

5.48 pm

Still nothing.

I wish Owen would smile at me or something. Say happy birthday. I know a card or a present is too much to ask for, but a smile…?

6.20pm

Gwen and Owen have left. I think I'll stop hanging around and go too. See if anyone tries to stop me.

7.02 pm

Looks like I'm rolling out the DVDs. Happy birthday, Toshiko Sato.

Tosh still felt fairly miserable when she entered the next day. She hadn't been expecting much, after all, but she hadn't expected her friends to forget, not really…

"You alright?" Gwen asked, some concern in her voice.

"Um, yeah, fine."

Gwen eyed her as she walked away and raised her eyebrows at Ianto. He shrugged in reply.

"Hey, Tosh, I've got a signal coming in from the town centre. Quite a weak one, but it's all we've got today. Will you take Owen and go and check it out for me?"

Tosh nodded glumly at Jack's request. Then she realised what she'd done and tried to brighten up. "Yes, of course."

Jack gave her an odd look. "There's nothing wrong, is there…?"

"No. I'm fine."

"Just being a good leader and checking my Team's all well and happy."

"Have you been reading that handbook again, sir?" Ianto called over. It got a smile off Tosh. A very small one.

He came back over a few minutes later, once she'd left. "Area's clear. Gwen's ready. Let's go."

Tosh was genuinely shocked when she walked back into the Hub, followed cautiously at a distance by Owen (birthday decorations were clearly contagious). "But… I thought…. Oh…"

"I believe 'Happy Birthday' is the correct thing to say in this situation." Jack said rather formally, smiling as he waved his hand at the banners. He stepped forwards and gave her a much more informal hug. "So 'Happy Birthday!'"

As a chorus of 'Happy Birthday"s rang around the room, with even Owen managing to sound as though it was actually an occasion to be celebrated, Tosh just stood there looking bewildered.

"We couldn't really think of anything to get you." Gwen apologised. "Well, apart from chocolates and things like that. But then Ianto remembered what you said about the server–" Ianto gave her a polite nod "- And Jack agreed and he managed to find you this." She gestured at what Tosh had thought was a small mountain of wrapping paper. "I don't know where he got it from, and I don't really want to ask… Well, I hope it works."

They all watched as Tosh knelt beside it and began to battle with the wrapping.

"Ianto, did you wrap it?" Gwen asked curiously, as a strip of sellotape tried to bind Tosh's arms to her sides.

"Nope. I left Jack to it."

"Owen helped." Jack said defensively.

"I tried." Owen whined. "But we ran out of wrapping paper, and…"

"And duct tape seemed like the best option?" Gwen sounded amused. Tosh tried to remove the offending item from her hand but it just clung tighter.

"It's not duct tape, it's that stuff Ianto keeps in the storage cupboard."

Ianto put his head in his hands. "You mean the stuff that says 'Made in Chinaa' on it?"

"Yes."

"As in Chinaa the planet not Chinaa the misprint?"

"Err… yes."

"The 'stuff' that just happened to fall through the Rift last Wednesday?"

"Err…"

"Is it supposed to be corrosive?" Tosh's tone of scientific interest held a strong degree of worry.

"Err… Shit."

Half an hour later Tosh, hands now bandaged, watched Jack and Ianto remove the wrapping paper using shears and protective leather gloves. And face masks.

"It's very nice." She managed, as the first glimpse came into view.

Gwen jumped back as an uncontained stray length of tape made a dart at her leg.

"Where did you get it from?" Tosh continued. And then, as the bulk of paper was removed and she saw it properly: "Oh. Oh. That is… Oh…"

"Told you she'd like it." Jack stated, characteristically smug. "That right, Tosh?"

"Don't think she'll be responding for a while." Ianto commented following the pause.

"Too busy communing with her new computer." Owen added.

Jack cleared his throat. "There is just one bit of small print…"

Tosh paid attention long enough to tear her gaze away. "What's that?"

"You have to install it. None of us could work out how."

"So how was that then? Good birthday?"

"Yeah." Tosh looked round at the remains of the cake. "Amazing. I haven't had one like that… not ever, I think. It's just…"

"What?" Gwen asked.

"Well, my birthday was yesterday."

Everyone else exchanged confused looks.

"I mean, it's not that it really matters or anything…" Tosh tried to cover up. "I don't mind at all. This was lovely…"

"Oh god." Gwen breathed. "No wonder you looked so heartbroken all day. I wondered…"

Ianto started to laugh silently. Owen snorted. "Well done Gwen. Who is it we employ to research people's backgrounds?"

"It's fine, really…" Tosh tried again. Gwen looked at her face, and a giggle broke through. Jack was trying hard, but failing, and managed to set Gwen off once more.

"Oh Tosh…!"

"What?"

Ianto managed to remain calm just long enough to explain. "Torchwood has copies of your birth certificate. We checked the date."

"So?" Tosh was still confused.

"Your birthday's today, Tosh. That's what it says in the records. The 11th, not the 10th. Definitely today. Not yesterday. Today."

"Oh." Tosh looked at the floor, her face turning as red as her hands.

"I think we'd better get Gwen to send you a reminder too next year."

The next on is longer, better (in my humble opinion, at least) and features the birthday of the lovely Ianto Jones. You also have to wait more than a week for it, if you're interested, because right now I'm off to Hadrian's wall. See ya!