I was feeling kinda depressed, it was four A.M, and I wrote this listening To sad songs. Also, the ending sucks because My IPad kept translating my words to french, And I was about to blow. Tell me what you think.
So they start living together.
He works. She doesn't. When she Wakes up, he's already gone. They don't really speak. He only calls her name softly during love making. She just sighs.
Her hair starts growing back after few months. It's not equal, but it's better than being bald. Her eyes are not glassy anymore, and she even manages eye contact with him. It's better.
He tries to forget katniss. It's hard. The only person he wants to talk to about Katniss Everdeen is Katniss Everdeen. Sometimes during sex, he imagines it's his Catnip beneath him. He never tells johanna, but he thinks she already knows.
At dinner, They eat in silence. Both of their heads are full. She wants to say something so badly, but it's not coming out. He just looks at her expectantly. He won't talk first.
Oh,how she wishes she could say something.
Slowly, she starts washing again. He always lies down with her in the tiny tub. Somedays he's tired, and the last thing he wants to do is take a fucking bath, but He does it for her. He does it because, deep down his ravaged heart, he think he loves her.
Somedays, he has to force her. Force her to get up, to eat, or to wash. "It's like raising a fucking kid" he thinks often. Then he stops thinking about it, because he misses his family so much.
Oh, how he'd give anything to hear Posy's laugh.
They live close to a forrest. It's not as big as district seven's but, it's enough to both of them.
One night, he comes home After a long rough day of work. She is sitting on the couch, several liquor bottles unopened on the table beside her. She looks up at him, and for the first Time maybe, he realizes her eyes are really pretty. A soft brown, but a deep angry look in them, as if Life had sucked everything sweet out of them. He just slumps on the couch next to her. They spend the night drinking.
It becomes a ritual. He comes home, They drink.
Until he does not come home. She fall asleep on the couch That night.
When he comes home the next morning, Saturday, she is already up. She is wearing an old shirt, covering her thin body.
" I met a girl." He says. She just close her eyes. " You haven't spoke to me in a year."
His voice gets angry. " I could have cheated on you." He drops to his knees. She is just pleased to hear his voice. " Say something. Please. Say something" He keeps on begging, his voice getting almost inaudible. She too, drops to her knees, patting his back, kissing his forehead.
She tries to say something smart. She hasn't spoken in months. " hi." Is all she can get out. It's really lame, and her voice is really raspy. Tears threathen to fall, but she manages to keep control. He opens his eyes, looks her deep in the eyes, and kisses softly her lips.
Slowly, she becomes his best friend. They laugh, They drinking and They have amazing sex. He almost forgets katniss.
Once, he asks her to talk about the games. She slaps him. Hard. He just ices his cheek. It's is fault.
It's only three days later, when They are in bed, that she speaks. " I sliced that boy's throat" she just takes her in his arms, whispering gentle words in her ear.
One morning, He Wakes up. She is curled on herself at the opposite side of the bed. He takes Time to look at her. He observes her cheekbone, getting thinner than ever. His lays his eyes on her collarbone, dangerously bony. He sadly realizes she's becoming a skeleton.
They start acting more like a couple. She makes dinner. He runs her a bath. They talk for hours. Hours! Her cheek slowly fill up. Her skin gets more tan. She smiles more.
She says she loves him. He says it too. Because it's true.
On a rainy sunday night, After They just made love, she tells him. " I think I might be pregnant" she sighs. His arms are wrapped around her, and her head is resting on his shoulder.
Oh, how He wishes He could say something.
He just kisses her forehead, and holding her closer. She doesn't know if this is good or bad. She just enjoys it.
It seems to him that she loses more weight instead of gaining it. She has bags under her eyes, and she her cheekbones start digging again.
She doesn't sleep Well. Her dreams are haunted By the kids she killed. They keep coming back, taunting her.
She throws up in the morning. Every morning. He hears her, but doesn't help much.
He gives her water. Forces her to eat.
He watches her sleep at night. She has a tiny tiny bump, easy to notice on her thin figure. Her hair have grown some more. She looks more young, and she doesn't pout.
One day, he brings back a crib. Her eyes are wide open. " You did this?" She asks, and He nods proudly. It's getting serious.
Now, when she gets on her knees to vomit, he rubs her back gently. Eventually she'll kick him out of the bathroom, but it's still Nice.
Weeks pass, and she starts gaining appetite again. She gets rounder. She looks healthy, color staining her cheeks.
He comes home one day to find her crying on the porch. He hurridly runs to her, asking her what's wrong. She is now sobbing incontrolably. " I FUCKING PEED MYSELF"She half cries half yells. He notices her stained pants, and bites His lips. He wants to laugh so hard, but doesn't know the consequences of pregnancy hormones. She looks at him, and can't help but start to laugh a little too. After all, it's funny.
They take long showers. He pinnes her on the wall, and kisses her neck. They end up all wet and tired.
Oh, how They wish it lasts.
She curls up against him at night. She is cold, and He warms her. Her hair smell like some kind of flower. Such a sweet perfume for a rough woman.
She doesn't drink anymore, and he doesn't either. They don't need to.
Rapidly, her stomach gets bigger. Only few months have passed, but you can definitly see the bump. He wants to touch it, but hesitates. She gets Mad for nothing.
She Wakes him up in the middle of the night. "Okay, I think I'm dying." She says with eyes wide open. She takes his hand, and puts it on her protuding belly. He feels a sharp stab. " babies move, Johanna." He pecks her on the lips, and goes back to sleep. She curls against him, keeping his hand around her middle," just in case" she thinks.
She has less nighmares. Morning sickness slowly subsides. For awhile, it's prefect. They are both happy. They take long walks. They hike. They prepare the baby's nursery.
Her hair now fall down to her shoulders. He loves to stroke it when she puts her head on his laps. He looks better than ever. He smiles perpetually.
In the last months, she becomes really large. Her back hurts, and she feels like a beached whale. The baby doesn't move, due to lack of space, she thinks. She is proud of herself, for doing this right, and not needing medical help.
He wishes the baby would come out already. She wants to keep it in a little longer.
The baby respects her wish by staying in. So long, she almost regrets thinking it.
Be carefull what you wish for because you just might get it.
She falls in the shower. Once again, she curses herself for being so clumsy. She gets up, and continues her shower.
In that same day, in the late afternoon, she feels sharp kicks. So sharp, she has to clench her teeth. The contractions get regular, every thirty minute or so. She waits for him, work is almost done anyway.
He comes home way later than expected. She is on her knees and hands, breathing slowly. He never saw her so calm. She doesn't need to Tell him it's Time, he figures it out himself.
The midwife lets him by her side during labour. Maybe it's because he's pacing the Hall like crazy, or maybe it's because johanna is throwing things at her. He walks a bit with her, letting gravity do its work. He rubs her back, hands her the bowl everytimes nausea shakes her body.
The midwife throws him out of the room when it's Time to push. From the Hall, he can hear the doctor telling her to push. Johanna yells for him. She swears, screaming at everybody. She yells his name, constantly.
Oh, how he wishes he could do something.
He hears her shouting to the the midwife, Until he doesn't. He doesn't hear anything.
Nothing. He sits on the floor, his head against the wall, a grin on his face.
It is several minutes later, when the doctor opens the door. He closes it behind him. Gale rises to his feet. The doctor only shakes his head,saying:" I'm sorry, Mr Hawthorne."
When he enters the bedroom, the first thing he sees is her. She's on her side, her back facing him. He gets on his knees, kissing her shoulder gently, as if saying" I'm in this with you",
He gets a good look a the baby. " Do you want to hold him?" The midwife asks. She wraps him up, and delicately puts him in his arms. He is still warm. How can Life be this unfair?
Oh, how he wishes he could do something.
She does not hold him. She is not strong enough to hold her dead baby, she thinks.
She doesn't even know if it's a boy or a girl. She doesn't want to know.
For the both of them, the hardest part is to empty the nursery. He has to put away the crib, and fold the tiny clothes Hazelle and Mrs. Everdeen knitted. She just sits in the rocking chair, starring out the window.
Silence makes his way in their couple once speak for essential things. He still forces her to eat. She loses the few pounds she had.
She's hurt. One night, she grabs the heavy scissors, and cuts all of her pretty hair. The job is messy, and she looks more of a boy than a grown woman. They cuddle in the middle of the hair sea. " I miss my mama" she sobs into his shoulder.
Oh, how he wishes he could do something.
Slowly, things get better. She can now take care of herself. She even laughs, occasionally.
Only nights are harder. She cries herself to sleep most of the time. Sometimes, he just wants to scream at her" you're not the only one who lost a child!" He never does. Instead, he just holds her tighter.
She knows it was a boy. He told her. They even find a name for him. Leo.
He can still remember the little face he once Held in his hands. He's glad he got to hold him.
Years pass, and Leo's memory Slowly fades. Yes, there are nights when They both wake up with Broken hearts. But now, They try to focus on the bright things.
Tiffany Leanne Hawthorne comes into the World on a cold winter night, almost seven years after her brother's death. She was wailing and yelling as hard as her tiny lungs permetted her. She was so beautiful.
Tiffany's wishes were heard, and soon, the couple was the parents of three daughters. Some might think They are trying to fill in for their dead son. They are not. They're just so happy Life gave them another chance.
They are in the forrest. Tiffany is climbing a tree, While Lily gathers berries to Bring them to her mama later. Callie is sleeping in his arms, her round Puffy cheek crushed against his chest. Johanna lays her head on his shoulder, and he uses his free arm to enlace her lovingly.
Their girls. Their amazing girls.
And for once, They are not wishing for anything more.