A/N: Already on season 3, friends. And my love for Tim Riggins is unabashed and unabated. As such, I make him (and myself) suffer with lots of angsty fic. Why? I don't know. Just read and review. =)
Dad leaves in a cloud of dust and gravel, with a wide smile and no promises. You know it may as well be for good, and you wonder if you could chase down the truck, say something to convince him to stay. You're a fast runner, but you're not so good with words, so you stand, rooted in the driveway, and you know what it is to be alone.
Mom, on the other hand. She got a head start. You didn't know she was leaving till she didn't come back. It froze up inside you for a while, the same feeling you get later when you miss a pass, or something like it.
You thought about trying to find her, for a bit, but you wouldn't even know where to start. You're too stupid, just as everyone's always saying. Too slow.
Too young.
...
Billy comes back, sticks around. He tells you that you'll die a failure, drunk off your ass with no one who cares for you.
Sometimes you think he means it.
Most of the time you agree with him, anyway.
You're not sure why he stays, since you do pretty much what you want anyway, but he does. Power's in his hands, though, and you know it. If he ever wants to go, there's nothing you can do to stop him.
...
Football gives you purpose. You slack, like you always do, around (and sometimes in) practice—hungover, mouthing off. Nothing too much. Coaches are getting it easy. They should ask your teachers.
But when it comes down to it, you care. You really do. You won't let anyone down, not during a game, and even if it's Jay's time to shine, like it always is, you're glad to be a supporting player.
The best part of all is that they need you.
You run, you score, and they don't leave you behind.
...
It's not Jay's fault that he leaves you. You kind of believe it's yours.
You were supposed to have his back, and you didn't, and here you are.
Now he's gone, strapped to a backboard, leaving everything in tatters—
You wonder if it's been you, all along. You're the reason.
And that's when you know, like you've always known, deep inside.
You never run fast enough.