Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who. I do own Kristen. I also own a pet rock that just piddled on my desk. My beta reader, rh2006fan, is made of awesomes.
It was a beautiful summer day in the city of London, and I was taking full advantage of it. There was a small circus set up in Regent's Park and I had gotten drawn into the crowds. I was laughing at the antics of the clowns when I caught a flash of brown in the corner of my eye. Turning my head to see what it was, I caught sight of him. I sighed, and wondered what calamity was about to hit the Earth this time. Still, I felt almost obligated to at least say hello to the bugger, so I made my way over to stand beside him.
"So, let me guess…the clowns are an evil race of aliens that are hell bent on taking over the Earth by hypnotizing us through mime, right?" I casually asked him.
He stood there with his long overcoat pulled back, his hands stuffed down inside his pants pockets. He turned his head to look at me, his left eyebrow raised, an incredulous look on the rest of his face. "Erm, no. Although, I will grant you that while clowns in general are evil, these in particular are not 'hell bent on taking over the Earth', as you so aptly put it. The lion tamer, on the other hand, is a bit suspect," he replied.
I turned to look at him and smiled. He smiled back at me, then pulled his hands out of his pockets, opening his arms wide to wrap around me in a hug. I hugged him back and whispered, "Hello, Doctor" against his ear. I heard him say, "Hello, Kristen" in return.
He pulled back, his arms still around my waist, and grinned down at me. "It's good to see you," he said. "How have you been?"
"Oh, I've been, Doctor, I've been. Good days, bad days, all the ones in between. I will throw caution to the wind and say that it's good to see you, too, although I'm still wary of some great disaster about to happen."
"Oi, trouble does not happen every time I'm around," he said indignantly.
"You sure about that?" I asked him teasingly. "I remember the old 'oh, just a quick stop on this planet, a little relaxing, nothing could go wrong' kind of trips we used to make."
"Okay, at least 40 percent of the time, trouble doesn't happen."
I laughed, and hugged him again, just for the heck of it. When I pulled away, I started glancing around, wondering where his latest companion had gotten off to. "So…where's the new girl? Has she already wondered off? Thought that was rule number one with you," I said, turning to look at him, and finally noticing how his face suddenly looked older and much, much sadder.
"Oi, what's wrong? C'mon, Doctor…let's go sit down. You look like death warmed over," I said, taking his arm and leading him to a nearby bench. He didn't protest, and that in itself was shocking. He sat down heavily, his shoulders stooped, looking like a man that had just lost his best friend in the world. How was I to know that was indeed what had happened?
"She's gone. I had to…I had to take her home," he said quietly.
"What happened? Was it something to do with all those planets in the sky a couple months ago?"
He looked up at me then focused his gaze on a spot on the ground about 3 feet in front of him. "Yeah, you could say that. There was…an accident. You remember what I told you about regeneration, right? Well, I almost did…but I wasn't really hurt bad enough for a full regeneration, so I just used the energy to heal myself, then sent the rest of it into a spare hand that I had in a jar…"
"That spare hand? Why are you keeping that thing around? For spare parts, just in case? Geez, Doctor, I knew you were alien, but…"
"No, I don't keep spare parts. It was my own hand; it got cut off in a sword fight a few Christmases back. A friend of mine found it, and kept it so it would fall into the wrong…hands…oh, anyway! There was my spare hand, with all this extra energy inside of it, inside my TARDIS, which had gotten hi-jacked by the Daleks, and was being ripped apart inside the heart of their ship. With Donna trapped inside. Anyway, long story short, she touched the hand, which triggered the regeneration cycle, another me grew out of that hand, and Donna…well…Donna got zapped with my brain."
I sat there and looked at him for a moment. "Hold on…there are now two of you running around in the universe? Oh, good lord. Okay, sorry, sorry," I said, at the look he shot at me. "So, Donna got your brain…and that's bad, I take it?"
"Very bad. The human brain is just not capable of containing everything a Time Lord knows. It's too small." I looked hard at him; my eyes squinting shut just a little. He looked at me, and said, "Well, it is. My brain is bigger. Biological fact."
"So I take it your skull is bigger on the inside?"
He looked askance at me. "Well, your head appears to be the normal size for a human. So if your brain is bigger, Mr. Smarty Pants, how does it fit into a normal size head, hmmm?" I asked him.
He looked troubled for a moment, then suddenly grinned and laughed. "Bigger on the inside…I never thought of that. I guess it would have to be, wouldn't it?"
I smiled, glad to see a little humor return to his eyes, sorry I was going to have to watch it flee again with my next question. "So, Donna suddenly had the mind of a Time Lord inside her brain…"
His eyes shut down again, and he nodded his head. Quietly, he said, "Yes, and it was going to kill her. In order to save her, I had to wipe her memories. I had to erase every single thing about me or the TARDIS from her mind. I took her home, and then I had to tell her mother and grandfather that they could never mention me. She couldn't remember, even for one second, because if she does…she'll burn up. So I had to leave my best mate. Again, I had to abandon someone I…" He swallowed hard and stopped speaking.
I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and pulled him closer, his head falling down on my shoulder. "Oh, Doctor, I'm sorry. First Rose, then Martha, now Donna. I am so sorry." I held him, and felt his shoulders shake just a little, before he pulled away, and I saw him actually pull on his emotional armor, so to speak. He sat with his hands folded together in his lap, looking around at the people enjoying their day in the park. He turned his head toward me, and gave me a penetrating look.
"I never hurt you, did I, Kristen? Intentionally or otherwise? I mean, you knew that your company was appreciated and welcomed, right? And your decision to leave, that wasn't because I was a git to you or anything, was it?"
I was a bit taken back by his questions and wondered what was causing him to ask them. This was a man who didn't look back, so what was causing this? I thought carefully before answering him, because anything but honesty would be unfair to him right now. I bit my lip, and then finally answered him. "Doctor. I knew that if you hadn't wanted me along, you never would have asked me to come with you, so yes, I knew that my presence was appreciated and welcomed. You never hurt me, as such…and the reasons for my departure are rather…complicated. It was wonderful, traveling with you, seeing the universe, making a difference on so many worlds. But deep in my heart, I knew it wasn't something I could do forever, no matter how much I might have wanted to do so. And well…there was someone special back here on Earth. I never told you that bit because I knew what you would have done, and I wanted my leaving to be my own decision. So…there you have it. The honest truth." I leaned back against the bench, not sure of what his reaction would be. Needless to say, I was shocked by what he said next.
"I see. So. Got any plans for the day? Fancy a trip in the TARDIS? She's just around the corner. I know she'd love to say hello to you again. Besides, I have to prove to you that it is possible for me to stop somewhere that trouble doesn't occur."
I turned my head to look at him, my mouth hanging open a little, not sure I had heard him right. "Did you just ask me to go on a trip with you? Again?"
"Yep," he said, popping the 'p', and clicking his teeth together for good measure.
I looked around the park, and a sudden giddiness that I hadn't felt in a long time overcame my body. I felt the earth spinning, and a sudden need to let go of the crust, to fly off into space, just to see where I landed. I turned to him with a grin, and said, "You're on, Doc."
"Then, allons-y, Bugs!" he said, calling me by his old nickname for me. We both jumped up from the bench, he grabbed my hand and started running towards the corner of the park where he had left the TARDIS. When I saw that blue box, I couldn't help the tears that welled up in my eyes. It was even worse when I got close enough to touch her. I put my hand on the door, and rubbed it and whispered, "Hello, old girl. I missed you something awful." I felt her vibrate under my hand, and smiled as the Doctor said, "She missed you, too." He pulled out his key and started to put it in the lock, when I said, "Wait. Please; let me?"
He furrowed his brows at me, and then smiled a little as he saw me pull a long chain from under my shirt, a simple key attached to it. I chuckled and said, "You haven't changed the lock, have you?"
"No, I haven't."
I took a deep breath, and slowly pushed the key into the lock and turned it. I heard the click of the lock opening, and couldn't help the delighted giggle that escaped from me. I heard the Doctor laugh behind me as I pushed the door open and walked back into the ship that had been my home for a while. The glow of the console was a beautiful aqua green and the gold lights on the wall made it feel so warm and peaceful. I breathed a contented sigh, and walked further in, touching one of the coral support beams as I made my way over to the jump seat. I stroked it fondly, noticing it had a few more duck tape repairs on it. "Are you ever gonna have this thing recovered, Doc?" I asked him.
"Why should I? It's still perfectly good, and the duck tape is still holding," he protested.
"Yeah, but it's just so….functional. Doc, you should know by now that every female likes to be pampered and have new clothes bought for her on occasion." The TARDIS hummed a little louder, almost as if she were agreeing with me. I sent her a silent message that I would work on him about getting at least a slip cover for it. I could almost hear a golden chuckle in my mind.
"Barely back on board 5 minutes and already making demands? Rassilon's teeth, Bugs. I don't remember you being this pushy."
"Yeah, well, a certain Time Lord's superiority complex rubbed off on me. I now demand the things that I know I deserve."
He looked at me for a moment, obviously trying to decide if I was joking or not. I let him off the hook and grinned at him, and laughed when he gave me a loud "harrumph!" sound. He stepped up to the console and started messing with the switches, then pulled the lever that let the hand brake go. I stood still in that console room, closed my eyes, and listened to the sound of the universe as the ship dematerialized.
"Where are you taking me?" I asked him.
"Oh, right now, we're just floating in the vortex, so we could go either direction. Your choice," he said, looking at me and smiling.
"I would say set it on random, but you are trying to prove a point, soooo….how about the future?"
"The future it is! Oh, and I know just the place, too!" he exclaimed, hopping around the console, turning dials, pressing buttons, spinning…things. "Oi, Bugs, come hold that lever steady for me! You haven't forgotten your driving lessons, have you?"
"How could I forget? You stood over my shoulder with the mallet in your hand. Half the time, I thought that mallet was meant for my head," I said, grabbing the lever he had indicated. Of course, at that moment, he had the aforementioned mallet in his hand, banging lightly on one of the parts on the console. The ship came to a somewhat decent stop; decent meaning that we were thrown only about 3 feet, rather than the usual 5. The Doctor hopped up from the floor and grabbed my hand, pulled me to my feet and headed towards the door, grabbing his overcoat off of the nearby strut.
"So, Doc…where are we?" I asked, following him a little more slowly.
"Open the door and find out. I remember you always liked that bit," he replied. I smiled, and stepped around him to open the door, wondering if he had managed to set us down where he had actually intended…and if the point he was trying to prove would actually be proven.