She's Worth It
I freaking hate high school I thought to myself. Everyday was the same; classes, Glee club, and football. I was popular and everything, but even that was boring. I spent most everyday terrorizing under class men, hitting on the chicks, and rehearsing.
I walked into glee club and sat down in my usual spot while the other students slowly entered and made small talk with each other. I could hear Santana and Brittany giggling as they eyed me with lust. I gave them a smile and laughed to myself as they turned red. All of the girls here were the same. All I had to do was smile at them and they'd do anything I asked.
Mike sat down next to me and punched my shoulder.
"What's up Puckermen?" I shrugged.
"Same as always." I muttered.
"Did you hang out with Santana last night?" He asked while grinning at me.
"Every Sunday." I replied flatly. Mike patted my back.
"You have a gift man." I rolled my eyes. It wasn't a gift getting that girl to put out for me. She was like the girl version of me, always up for a good time without any ties.
I looked up as Mr. Schuester walked in looking excited. I looked behind him and saw Ms. Pillsbury in the hallway. He's totally tapping that.
I gave her a wink and a nod which made her turn bright red. Mr. Schuester shook his head at me.
"What?" I asked teasingly. "She's a looker." He frowned at me but dropped it.
"Alright guys, we're doing duets again this week. I'm going to randomly pair you up with someone and I want absolutely no complaining." I gave Santana a wink and she smiled knowingly. It would be nice to get her, rehearsal at her house was always nice, not that we ever actually rehearsed.
"Puck and Rachel." I felt my mouth drop as I looked towards Rachel. She looked terrified. I gave her a nod as she rolled her eyes and snuggled up to Finn. He gave me a suspicious look and pulled Rachel under his arm. Worried are we? Like I'd ever try anything with her, she's the biggest prude in the school. Poor guy's probably got the worst case of blue balls in history. I sighed and tried to mentally prepare myself for a week of controlling torture.
After class, I hurried out the door in hopes of beating the lunch rush.
"Excuse me, Noah?" I heard Rachel calling after me. I ignored her and picked up the pace, I wasn't wasting any food time on her.
When I got to the cafeteria, I pushed my way through the line and grabbed a few slices of pizza. As I was piling the rest of my plate with fries, I caught eye of Rachel next to me and groaned.
"What do you want Berry?" I asked. She cleared her throat and stood up straight.
"I'd like to talk to you about our assignment, Noah. I have a few ideas and wanted yours as well." I squirted ketchup over the fries and grabbed a coke before heading to my normal table.
"Do whatever, I don't care." She followed me to the table and sat directly in front of me.
"I know you don't care, but I would like to take care of this as soon as possible so that I can start rehearing. I also need to know when your available so that I can make a rehearsal schedule." I opened my soda and took a drink.
"Let's just run through it a couple times, you never mess up remember?" I said sarcastically. She shook her head.
"As true as that may be, we have to work together, that's what a duet is." She huffed.
I took a huge bite of pizza and watched her face turn to disgust. I frowned at her.
"What's your problem Berry?" I demanded.
"Do you have any idea how many artificial ingredients are in school food? You're practically eating poison."
I chuckled at this.
"You know what Berry? I like the idea of eating poison, sounds hard core." I winked at her and took an even bigger bite. She stood up and looked down at me.
"Just give me a time when we can get together Noah!" I continued eating as I watched her petite figure practically shaking. I sighed.
"First of all, don't call me Noah. It's Puck. Secondly, I have time this evening if you're free. Wanna meet up somewhere?" I asked. Her face brightened at my willingness to cooperate.
"Can you come to my place? My dads won't be there so we won't have any distractions." I grabbed my stuff and stood up next to her.
"So I'll get to see your room huh? Does Finn know?" I asked teasingly. Her face turned bright red as she tried to think of a response.
"Just show up around seven okay? I hate having to wait." She turned on her penny loafers and walked away in a hurray. At least she's fun...
When I arrived at her place that night, I hesitated before knocking on the door. I couldn't believe I was about to spend the evening with Rachel freaking Berry, the prude virgin queen herself. It wouldn't be hard to just walk away, I'd be doing my self a favor if I did. Yet there was something intriguing about Rachel Berry that I couldn't quite put my finger on. With curiosity as my explanation, I took a deep breath and knocked.
After a few moments, the door opened. Rachel was wearing jeans and a white tank top. Her long dark brown hair was flowing down her back and all she wore for makeup was mascara. She'd never looked so relaxed before. At school she dressed like a congresswoman, never a hair out of place. Surprisingly, I found myself checking her out. She smiled widely at me.
"Hi Noah, thanks for coming!" I took a step towards her and felt the right side of mouth lift into a smile.
"Puck." I reminded her. She blushed as I walked past her.
Her house looked like it was taken straight out of a Martha Stewart magazine. Everything was perfect, no dust, no magazines scattered across the sofas, and it smelled like spring. I suddenly noticed there were pictures of her everywhere. Okay, that's kinda creepy.
"Jesus Berry!" I said loudly. "Why the hell do your parents have so many pictures of you up? It looks like a God damn shrine in here!" I walked through the house looking at all the pictures in amusement. Rachel followed me in horror.
"My dads are my biggest fans okay? It took them years to find someone who was looking for adoptive parents. I'm like their miracle." I smiled at her.
"Did they keep the receipt?" She smacked my arm before cracking a smile.
"Ha ha, you're so clever. Now can we get to work now?" I nodded and followed her up the stairs. Once we were in her room, I sat down on her bed.
"Let's sing something sexy, like "I Wanna Sex You Up"." She glared at me.
"I don't think so Puck, and I wouldn't consider that sexy." She stated. I thought more.
"Hm, what about "Girls Girls Girls" Montley Crue? We could get you in a mini skirt and some red hot heels." This time she just looked away and sighed. She stood up and walked over to her cd player.
"If you want to sing something, sensual, I'll go for that. Let me think." She looked through her cds for a few minutes before squealing.
"I got it! It's perfect!" She threw the cd in the player and then turned to face me.
"It's from Phantom of the Opera and I think it would be perfect!" I groaned.
"Come on Berry! I can't sing that crap!" I cried out. She sighed.
"Noah, we can make it a bit more modern. You need to trust me." She hit play and stood up straight and cleared her throat. I put my head in my hands and prepared for torture. The music started, and as Rachel began to sing I felt a knot begin to form in my stomach.
"You have come here
In pursuit of your deepest urge
In pursuit of that wish which till now
Has been silent
Silent.
I have brought you
That our passions may fuse and merge
In your mind you've already succumbed to me, dropped all defenses
Completely succumbed to me
Now you are here with me
No second thoughts
You've decided
Decided."
I looked up at her in total shock. She was starring into my eyes with an intensity that intimated me in a way I had never experienced. Her voice was amazing, but that wasn't what was making me feel this way.
"Past the point of no return
No backward glances
Our games of make-believe are at an end.
Past all thought of "if" or "when"
No use resisting
Abandon thought and let the dream descend
What raging FIRE shall flood the soul
What rich desire unlocks it's door
What sweet seduction lies before us?
Past the point of no return
The final threshold
What warm unspoken secrets
Will we learn
Beyond the point of no return?"
I sat on the bed, my mouth open. That song, despite it's genre, was hot. Rachel waited for the song to end before she dropped her dark temptress act.
"What do you think?" She asked timidly. I stood up and walked over to her.
"You actually want to sing that with me, in front of Finn?" I asked her. Her brows furrowed for a moment.
"It's an assignment, he'll understand that. What's wrong with the song? I think if we add some drums to help the flow it will sound great. It's a better alternative to what you consider to be "sexy"." She stood up straight and held her head up. She was right, and I had never been more aroused by a song in my life. It was dark and full of temptation. I let out a chuckle before nodding in agreement.
"I think it's perfect." Her eyes lit up as she clapped her hands.
"Good! Now, let's get to work!"
I pulled into the parking lot the next day in a daze. Last night at Rachel's had been fun. Her innocence made her fun to be around. She would get all wound up about something and almost burst from her excitement. I was happy that the next week would be more bearable than I had expected.
As I parked my old truck, I saw Finn standing a few cars down. He nodded at me and crossed his arms. I jumped out of my truck and walked up to him.
"What's up dude?" I asked. He shrugged casually.
"Just waiting for Rach. How'd it go last night?" He implored.
"Fine, we decided on a song and ran through it a few times. She's a lot more fun to hang out with than I thought." I responded.
"Ya, she's awesome," His eyes seemed to express concern. "I love her ya know." He said. I felt a sudden uneasiness.
"I know man. Are we cool?" I asked slowly. He nodded and straightened up.
"Yeah, just had to put it out there." I stood next to him for another awkward second before punching his arm.
"Later bro." Finn nodded at me before turning back to look for Rachel. I walked towards the school feeling a bit of guilt. Just because you actually enjoyed her company doesn't mean anything. I kept repeating that to myself as I entered the old building.
When I entered my first class, Biology, Rachel had placed herself in the seat next to mine in the back row. She caught sight of me and waved excitedly. I cracked a smile and headed towards her.
"Hey Rachel, what are you doing here?" I asked. Her huge smile fell a little at my question.
"Do you want me to move? I just thought that since we're working together and all..." I held up a hand.
"No it's cool, I like you better than that ugly girl that sits here anyways." I told her as I sat down. When I turned to her, I noticed a strange expression on her face.
"You alright Berry?" I asked quietly. She nodded looking down at her hands.
"It's just that, I don't get why you jocks talk that way. I know she's not that attractive, but she's really nice. I have math with her and she's always helping explain things to other students." She paused for a moment. "The really sad part, is that you can tell she feels ugly. Now, why do you think she'd feel that way?" I looked into her eyes and felt like a tool. Rachel was too nice to be hanging out with me. I was a jerk, the type of guy that could care less if I hurt someone's feelings or not and she was an angel. Here I was knocking down some nice girl and Rachel was defending her. I closed my eyes and sat back in my seat.
"I don't know, she looked in the mirror?" I answered, trying to cover up the sudden guilt I felt. She looked shocked and then disappointed. I bit my lip and silently beat myself up.
"You shouldn't say things like that," She shifted uncomfortably in her seat before continuing. "I don't think you're as tough as you act.'' I raised an eyebrow at her.
"I never claimed to be tough, I just tell it like it is Berry. The girl who normally sits next to me is a dog and you being here is a nice change of scenery for me."
She looked away from me and just sighed.
As class went on, it became evident to me that Rachel was obviously ignoring me. No one, not even her, ever focused that hard on Mr. Green. Not having her even glance in my direction was starting to bother me. I leaned towards her.
"Berry, don't be pissed off, I won't say shit like that anymore alright?"
She kept her eyes to the front of the room.
"Don't you dare think that just because we're hanging out means you can whoop me into a pussy like you did Finn!" I thought I saw her wince at this before going back to her perfectly composed face.
"I would prefer not to get in trouble Noah, we'll talk later." She whispered. I rolled my eyes and scooted closer to her.
"There's a reason I sit in the back, he can't hear us from up there. Just let me explain a few things to you." I begged. She positioned herself away from me in an obvious maneuver. I starred at her for a few minutes, unable to figure out why this was bothering me so much.
"Rachel!" I whispered a little to loudly. Mr. Green eyed me from the front as I sat low in my seat. I could see a small smile forming on her lips as she began to take notes. This freaking chick.
After class I chased after Rachel as she walked speedily down the hallway. Why can't I, the football player, catch up to such a small girl? I finally spotted her next to her locker grabbing books out. I bee lined it right for her.
"Berry!" I yelled, hoping to get her attention before she left. Her eyes met mine briefly before retreating towards the Glee club's room. I jumped in front of her forcing her to stop.
"It's rude to ignore people Berry." Her eyes went wide.
"You are not the person to be giving out tips on proper social etiquette Puck." I raised my eyebrows at her response before clearing my head and refocusing.
"Let's get a few things straight, I am not a nice guy. I speak my mind, I don't hold anything back. If we're going to be spending time together, you need to understand that. I don't want to be getting lectured on what a crappy person I am. I am who I am and that's that. Got it?"
"I don't think you're a crappy person Noah. In fact, I'd like to get to know you more if that's okay with you?" She asked timidly. I gazed into her big brown eyes and could practically feel the honesty of her words.
"I'm not good for you Berry," Her eyes grew big again. I shook my head. "I mean, I'm not good for you to be around." She smiled at me and closed the distance between us.
"I'll be the judge of that. I like you Puck, and I think we could be friends. Perhaps we could even each other out." I suddenly noticed that I could feel her body heat hitting me, and it felt like electric currents. I looked down at her and smiled.
"If you can handle it, then I don't see any problem. But like I said, I don't hold back, in any situation." Rachel's face lit up with intrigue and slight fear. I touched her arm gently.
"Do you want to rehearse at my house tonight?" I asked her quietly. She nodded automatically.
"Alright then, come on over around seven." I walked away from her feeling a strange twitching in my stomach. Great, I'm getting sick.
I looked at the clock, she'd be here in ten minutes. I lit a few candles, trying to ensure that my room wouldn't smell like a typical teenage boy's room. Not that I cared what she thought, but she was a girl after all, and they talk.
I heard a knock at the front door and ran down the stairs. Too late, my mom had already gotten it.
"Hello Mrs. Puckerman. My name's Rachel and I have a rehearsal with Noah tonight." I laughed at how formal she sounded. My mom smiled warmly at her, probably shocked that there was actually a nice girl asking for me. Santana usually just waltzes in and gives my mom a wave.
"Hello dear, won't you come in?" She held the door open for Rachel. "Noah!" She yelled. I held up a hand. quietly waiting for me to say something. My mom gave me a stern look before I groaned.
"Fine. Good evening Rachel, won't you please follow me?" I said in my nicest voice. She giggled and waved to my mom.
"It's okay Mrs. Puckerman, I don't take offense. Noah is a good guy and despite being rough around the edges, he is a great friend." The sweetness in her voice could have made me vomit, but my mom was eating it up. I eyed her suspiciously. Me? A great guy? Who was she kidding here?
"That's nice to hear dear, thank you." She smiled widely at Rachel before turning to me.
"Let us hope that my dear sweet Noah will live up to that reputation." I smiled at her, silently begging her to leave us alone. She winked at me before heading back to the kitchen.
I looked at Rachel and held up a hand.
"Look Berry, you don't need to ham it up with my mom okay? She knows who I am." I said flatly. Rachel furrowed her brow and shook her head.
"I don't know what you're talking about. Now can we start rehearing please? I have to be home by ten and we have a lot of work to do." I shrugged.
"Sure, my room's the first door on the right." I said pointing upstairs. She nodded once before starting up the stairs.
Once in my room, she opened my stereo and put her cd inside.
"Now, the first verse and chorus is done by me and then you'll take the second verse." I shrugged my shoulders.
"Whatever you say boss." I cleared my throat and waited for her to start.
"Past the point of no return
No backward glances
Our games of make-believe are at an end.
Past all thought of "if" or "when"
No use resisting
Abandon thought and let the dream descend
What raging FIRE shall flood the soul
What rich desire unlocks it's door
What sweet seduction lies before us?
Past the point of no return
The final threshold
What warm unspoken secrets
Will we learn
Beyond the point of no return?"
She walked up to me and lightly brushed my arm, asking my body for it's full attention. I stood still, watching her hips slightly moving back and forth. Why was Rachel Berry turning me on? Furthermore, why did I like it so much?
She stood in front of me, her huge brown eyes looking up into mine. I wasn't expecting our duet to be like this at all. I took a step back and hit the stop button. She put her hands on her hips and stomped her foot.
"What's wrong? That was going well!" She pouted. I shook my head and laughed to myself.
"Rachel, what the hell are you doing?" Her eyebrows raised in confusion.
"What do you mean? Was I off? I could have sworn I sounded fine," I shook my head.
"No I meant, why were you trying to seduce me?" I asked with a slight smile on my face. Rachel took a step back and turned beat red.
"I was doing nothing of the sort! I was simply singing the song! Need I remind you that it was your idea to sing a sensual one? Now how am I supposed to sing a song like that without playing it up a bit?" Her small figure was shaking from anger as she stood in front of me, arms crossed. I laughed to myself.
"What is so funny Puckerman?" She demanded. I held my hands up.
"Hey, calm down! I was just messing with you, trying to loosen you up!" Her eyes softened as her body relaxed. I took a deep breath, trying to get rid of my uneasy feeling. Why did she have this effect on me? Of all the girls in the world...
"Look Noah, can we just continue rehearsing? Try and take it seriously will you?" I nodded.
"Anything you want Rach." She nodded once before continuing.
As she sang, I couldn't take my eyes off her. There was something about her that made looking away impossible.
When it was my turn to sing, I took a deep breath before turning to her. As I began, she starred at the sheet music intently as if she was watching for any mistakes. I decided to step my game up and took a step closer to her. She looked up at me, surprised by my close proximity to her. I looked her in the eyes, not allowing her to look away.
"You have brought me
To that moment when words run dry
To that moment when speech disappears
Into Silence
Silence"
Now I know girls, and the look Rachel gave me was obvious, she was fighting something. I was struggling on the inside too, trying to figure out what exactly I was trying to do here.
"I have come here
Hardly knowing the reason why
In my mind I've already imagined
Our bodies entwining
Defenseless and silent
Now I am here with you
No second thoughts
I've decided
Decided."
I paused for a moment and savored the expression she wore and the way her chest was rising and falling much faster than usual. Her reaction was better than I had expected, and meant more too.
"Past the point of no return
No going back now
Our passion play has now at last begun.
Past all thought of right or wrong
One final question
How long should we two wait before we're one?"
I starred into her eyes, doing my best to show her that I wasn't playing this up. I meant every word. Wait, what? She shook her head and turned off the music.
"What are you doing?" I asked in annoyance. "I had one more verse left!" She inhaled sharply before taking the cd out of the machine and placing it in her cd case.
"You did very well Noah, I can see that this will sound great once it's time to perform. I'm considering switching our parts though, traditionally the first part is done by the male lead. It is getting late and my dad's expect me home soon." She started to frantically pick up her things.
"Calm down Berry!" I said jumping in front of the door. "You just got here! I know your dad's are protective of you, but it's only seven and you said you had to be home by ten. What's wrong with you?" I asked her. Her posture fell a little as she looked at the ground in defeat.
"I didn't know that you could sing." She said softly. I frowned at her in confusion.
"Um okay, but you've heard me sing before, I'm in Glee club for crying out loud." I reminded her. She nodded and then looked up at me with more emotion than I had ever seen in another person.
"I know, but I didn't know you could sing like that." She confessed. I felt my stomach go into knots yet again as a million thoughts went through my head. I suddenly noticed that I was leaning forward, almost like a magnetic pull.
"There's a lot of things you don't know about me." I whispered. Her eyes stayed locked with mine for a moment more before she snapped out of whatever trance she was in.
"I need to go." She said quietly. I felt my heart drop in disappointment.
"Alright."
I walked her downstairs and opened the front door for her.
"See you tomorrow Berry." I winked at her, pleased to see her immediate blush. She nodded and left without even so much as goodbye. I watched her walk to her car and couldn't help but feel sad that she was leaving.
I shut the door behind me and leaned against it. What the hell was wrong with me? Rachel had me in some kind of altered world where everything I thought I knew was backwards. I'm not supposed to like girls like her, prudes who never give it up, even to their boyfriends. She wasn't my type at all, but she was all I could think about.
Poor Finn, there's no way I could stay away from her now.
I headed back to my room, trying to clear my head of Rachel Berry. I wondered if she thought about me as much as I thought about her? Could it be that I was the girl in this situation? I laughed to myself as I climbed into my bed. I grabbed my phone off the night stand and checked it. Two missed calls from Rachel. I felt my breath catch as I quickly called her back.
"Puck?" She answered. I smiled at her sweet voice. Ugh, I am a girl.
"What's up Berry?" I heard her sigh.
"Sorry to call you so late." She said. I smiled at this.
"Berry, it's only seven remember? Now what's up?" I asked.
"I uh, my car. It's dead or something. I'm about three miles away on 23rd street. Would you mind terribly," I cut her off.
"I'll be there in a few minutes."
I found Rachel standing next to her car. I pulled up behind her and parked. She looked embarrassed, as she crossed her arms.
"I'm so sorry to bug you, it just stopped and I have no idea why." She explained crossly. I smiled at her and opened her hood. My dad is never around much, but when he was we spent time together in the garage. I knew enough about cars to know that she needed a new battery.
"Not a big problem, you just need to replace your battery. I could try to jump you, or give you a ride home." Her eyes popped open.
"Try to jump me? Why are you always so crude Noah? If I wanted to be sexually harassed, I would have let the creep who stopped to check on me do it!" I looked at her to see if she was serious. Her hands were on her waist and her face was hard. Classic Rachel Berry. I cracked up and shut her hood.
"What is so funny? You know what, I should have called Finn! Just go home Puckerman!" She turned on her heel and went to open her door. I jumped in front of her, still laughing.
"Rachel! When I said "jump you" I meant use my jumper cables to start your car. I didn't mean anything even remotely sexual." She covered her eyes and hung her head.
"Oh my goodness! I am so sorry! I'm just all frustrated with my car, I shouldn't have freaked out like that." She laughed. I shrugged my shoulders.
"No blood no foul. Now why don't I jump you so you can get home." I made my way back to her hood when she held her hand up.
"Actually, would you mind bringing me home? I don't want it to die again on me and have to call you again." I raised an eyebrow.
"Sure, no problem. Climb on in." I ran over to my truck and opened the door for her. She climbed up, almost falling. I held her waist and gave her a small boost. Once inside, she flashed me a smile. I took a deep breath, trying to maintain my cool.
"Thanks again." She said once we were on our way.
"Anytime Berry. Seriously." We rode in silence for a few minutes before she broke it.
"So you know a lot about cars huh?" She asked, trying to make conversation.
"Yeah, my dad taught me a thing or two. He works a lot, so whenever he's home we fix up cars. It's our bonding time I guess you could say." She nodded.
"Do you miss having him around? It must be hard on you and your family." She had turned herself to face me, offering her attention. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, not knowing what to think about all the questions.
"I'm uh, I guess I'm used to it?" I said flatly. She took the hint and changed the subject.
"My dad's are going to be mad." She said.
I looked over at her worried expression and gave her a light push.
"Hey, I'm sure they'll understand. It's not like you're out with Finn or something. Even though they wouldn't have anything to worry about," I trailed off. She frowned.
"Why not?" She asked defensively. I threw my head back laughing.
"Um, because it's Finn! In the six months you two have been together, I've only ever seen you hold hands. Why would they have to worry about their daughter being with him? You're practically dating Mr. Rodgers Rachel." I howled. To say she looked offended by this was an understatement.
"We do things! Perhaps not what most teenagers do, but that's fine with me! I don't want to get knocked up by some idiot." I shook my head, amazed at the rage my comment brought out of her.
"Look, all I'm saying is that you two aren't going to get caught in the back of a car by some cop. Your parents trust you, and they have no reason not to. I mean your dating Finn Rachel! Now, if I was Finn, I would be all over you." I felt my body tense up as soon as I said the words. I hadn't meant to say that, but it came out before I could stop myself. I didn't dare look at her reaction.
"Well, you're not, so no need to worry." She said quickly. Awkwardness filled the car as I tried to think of something to say. I glanced over at her and saw that she was looking at me as well.
"Why didn't you call Finn?" I blurted out. She looked away from me.
"I guess because I just saw you and knew you'd be up." I saw her bite her lip.
"I don't buy it," I said. "I know there's something you want to tell me, I can see it in your face." She seemed shocked by my honesty, but pretended like she didn't understand.
"There's nothing in my face other than annoyance. What, do you think I like you? Are you so cocky that you think I'd call you instead of Finn because of some sort of agenda?" She seemed pleased with herself for trying to figure me out.
"I never said anything about you liking me Rachel." I pointed out. She opened her mouth to protest before shutting it and turning to look out the window.
When I pulled into her driveway, she thanked me before quickly getting out. I watched her walk swiftly towards her house, obviously trying to get inside as soon as possible. Once she was safely inside, I backed out slowly. As I started to drive away, I took once last look at her house, and saw her peeking out of her bedroom window.
"Sweet dreams Berry." I chuckled to myself.
The next morning I woke up with butterflies in my stomach. Yeah, butterflies.I had never been so excited to get to school before in my life. All I could think about was seeing Rachel and talking to her. I grabbed a pop tart and kissed my mother's cheek quickly.
"Have a nice day mom!" I shouted over my shoulder. Her expression was one of pure surprise.
"You too sweetheart!"
I threw a mixed cd into my stereo and grinned when Van Morrison's "Brown Eyed Girl" came on. I sang every word at the top of my lungs, wishing I had the balls to sing it to her. I would too, I would sing it in front of the whole school if it would make her mine. My good mood was suddenly changed when my conversation with Finn entered my mind.
"Crap." I muttered to myself.
Between first and second period, I went to get a soda out of the pop machine. Standing right next to it was Santana. I groaned quietly to myself as I approached her.
"Hey Santana, what's going on?" I asked nonchalantly. She gave me a smirk and ran her finger down my chest.
"Nothing much, just wondering why you haven't come by my place to see me?" I shrugged my shoulders.
"Been busy, trying to get that Glee duet finished." I explained. She rolled her eyes.
"Poor baby! I would commit suicide if I had to spend time with Rachel," She kissed my cheek. "Look, I'm going to be home alone tonight, my parents are going to some boring thing. Why don't you stop by after dinner for some dessert?" She smiled seductively at me as she waited for my answer.
An offer to hook up with Santana was never something I had to consider, it was more of a given. A few days ago I would have said yes, but all I could think about was Rachel.
"You know what, I'm really busy this week. Can I hit you up next week?" I asked her. She pulled away in shock.
"Uh, okay. Your loss honey." With that she walked away, giving a quick wave to another football player. I rolled my eyes, grateful that she didn't push it further.
"Hi Puck." I heard Rachel say from behind me, causing a huge grin to spread over my face. I turned to see that her hair was down again, and she was dressed casually. Perfect.
"Hey Rachel, you look nice today." I said sheepishly. Knock it off you moron! She raised an eyebrow at me.
"I'm in jeans and a tank top." She informed me. I laughed.
"I know, but you just look good to me right now." I immediately regretted saying that. Rachel Berry was turning me into a massive dork. Anytime she was around I lost every ounce of cool in my body.
She gave me a strange look before smiling.
"Thanks. I was wondering if you wouldn't mind bringing me home today? I haven't been able to get my car yet."
"Of course!" I said a little too much enthusiasm.
"Are you okay?" She asked. "You seem nervous or something."
"No, sorry. Too much coffee this morning." I blurted out. She nodded knowingly.
"Okay, well should I just meet you at your car after school?"
"Yep, I'll be there." I said. She smiled one last time before walking away from me.
I got to my truck a little earlier than usual after school. I was looking forward to spending ten minutes alone with Rachel on the ride home. I waited next to my truck for fifteen minutes before she showed up.
"Sorry it took me a little longer," She said running over to me. "I had to talk to Mrs. Smith about some extra credit."
"No problem, hop on in." I opened the door for her and closed it gently once she was inside. I ran to my side and jumped in next to her.
"It's nice that you do that Puck." She complemented. I started the engine and gave her a confused look.
"Do what?"
"You always open doors for me, no one does that anymore. It's just, it's very gentlemanly of you." I laughed out loud as I started to drive down the road.
"I wouldn't go that far Berry, it's just something I was raised to do. My dad always told me to open doors for girls because they are beautiful angels and shouldn't have to lift a finger." I turned to see her starring at me.
"Do you think I'm a beautiful angel?" She asked shyly. I panicked, knowing that whatever my response was would be the wrong answer. Of course she was beautiful, but I couldn't say that to her. Or could I?
Her face fell at my long pause and so did my heart.
"I guess I should have known the answer to that one," She said quietly. "You know I never could understand why Finn wanted to date me, being the quarterback and everything. I'm just an average looking girl who's too opinionated for her own good." I opened my mouth to say something but she held her hand up.
"Wait, let me finish." I nodded for her to continue.
"At first it was like a fairytale, I couldn't believe he liked me too. But that was a year ago, and now I feel like there's something missing, you know? I sometimes wonder if we actually belong together. Maybe there's someone else who really gets me and makes me feel something I've never felt before." She looked at me for reassurance but I had none to offer. Our friendship had just passed the point of no return.
I shook my head and pulled into an empty lot. I wasn't going to let her play games with me. She was about to question me before I held my hand up.
"Let me talk Berry, just shut your trap for a second." She glared at my rudeness but zipped her mouth.
"I know you're with Finn, but I think you should take a step back and think about if you really want to be. If you aren't into him, then you need to be upfront about it. Don't trail him along for nothing. Do you get what I'm saying?" She nodded reluctantly. I sighed loudly and went to put the truck in drive but she stopped me.
"Puck?" She asked quietly. I raised my eyebrows at her to continue.
"If I was single, would you ever think about dating me? I know that you are into hot flirty girls, but I've always just wondered," She seemed to be bracing herself for rejection. I knew there was no turning back now, I wasn't going to deny it anymore. I took off my seat belt and scooted closer to her. Her doe eyes grew large as she watched me. I bent my head down to meet her eyes.
"A week ago, I would have said no. But since I've gotten to know you, I haven't looked at or touched any of those girls. To be perfectly honest, that scares the hell out of me." Her eyes glazed over as she looked into mine. I pressed my forehead against hers.
" I know you're with Finn right now, but I promise that if I ever got the chance, I'd take it." I couldn't believe I had actually just said that to her. I heard her breathing shake as I nuzzled my cheek against hers. I knew that she would let me kiss her if I wanted, but it felt wrong, especially because of Finn. I took one last breath of her hair before she pulled away.
"I'm not going to deny that I'm attracted to you Puck, but you and I wouldn't work. We're too different and as far as an actual relationship is concerned, I can't see it. Finn and I work, we're a lot alike and have goals. I can't throw that away because I think your attractive." Her words hurt a lot more than I expected. I'm the first to admit that I'm not the smartest guy on earth, but I had goals. There was more to me than what people saw and the fact that shestill saw me the same way killed me. I suddenly felt angry and led on.
"Why are you flirting with me so much if you're not interested? Why did you ask me if I'd ever date you? Are you messing with me?" I asked her angrily.
"No! I don't know what I'm doing, trying to talk my thoughts out maybe? I'm confused! Aren't you?" I shook my head.
"Not about what I want." I said seriously. She looked sad.
"Look, I know we have chemistry, I can feel it, but the truth is, you aren't the boyfriend type. No offense, but you've never been in a relationship before, you only use girls. I don't even know if I would be able to trust you." I put my hands on the wheel and looked straight ahead.
"I've never been in a relationship because I've never met anyone who I've wanted to be with." I said quietly. I felt Rachel's hand on my shoulder.
"I'm so sorry. I never should have said anything, I was curious and didn't think.."
"What?" I interrupted her. "Didn't think that I was capable of caring for a girl? Am I the exception? Ya know what? Forget I said anything, we're just partners and that's it." I threw the truck into reverse but she grabbed my arm and made me look at her. I felt an instant calmness at her very touch.
"I'm sorry." She whispered. I sighed and looked at her sad face.
"Look Berry, let's just drop it." I offered. She nodded and scooted away from me, leaving a cold spot on my arm.
I decided to eat dinner with my family that night instead of in my room. No matter what my mood was they always were a good distraction. My mother went on and on about everything in her life as my father and I listened. Every now and then he would wink at me when she got carried away. As much as I was like my mom, I was even more like my dad. We were men of few words and often let our actions speak for us.
"So Noah," My mother said. "How is your Glee Club going? Have you and Rachel made any more progress on that song?" I cleared my throat.
"Yeah, we should have it ready by the time we have to perform it."
"Who's Rachel?" My dad asked. My mother's face lit up.
"Oh Ted! She is the sweetest girl! Such nice manners and isn't sneaky like a lot of Noah's other girlfriends." I rolled my eyes.
"Mom, she is NOT my girlfriend." My dad smiled at me.
"Is she a looker son?" I nodded. Mom grinned at him.
"Oh yes! She has long brown hair and dark green eyes, and.."
"Her eyes are brown mom, like dark chocolate." I interrupted her, immediately regretting it. She raised her eyebrows playfully.
"Oh, well I suppose you'd know right?" She bit her lip, fighting a smile. I groaned and picked up my plate.
"I'm done, thanks for dinner mom." I carried my plate into the kitchen and stuck it in the dishwasher. My dad followed me and patted my back.
"It's a mom thing ya know? She wants someone to show your baby pictures to." I laughed at this. Wouldn't that be torture...
"Yeah, well." I said quietly. He leaned against the counter facing me.
"So, you into her?" I shrugged.
"A little I guess."
"So what's the hold up?"
"She's got a boyfriend and he's kinda a friend of mine." My dad winced.
"That's never good."
"Yeah I know."
That night I laid on my bed, playing our fight over and over in my head. She didn't think I was boyfriend material, who would have thought that someone thinking that would ever bother me. I could prove to her I was, but that would mean dating someone I didn't care about. Knock it off!I was so sick of questioning who I was just because of some girl. Then again, Rachel wasn't just some girl, she was the only girl.
She was right, we probably wouldn't work, but wasn't it worth a try? She acted like she was the only one at risk. I would have to deal with an entire reputation change, getting my ass beat by Finn, and the wrath of Santana. None of that mattered though. She's worth it.
Hours later, as I was falling asleep, I pulled out my phone and sent her a text message.
"You are the most beautiful angel I have ever seen."
Glee club went by slowly the next day. I sat quietly and barely noticed the others performing songs. I watched Rachel and Finn interacting with each other. They never did more than hold hands. Prude. I would be all over that. I rubbed my eyes, in frustration., this was all so new to me. For once in my life I actually didn't want to hook up, I actually cared for her. They had no chemistry at all, nothing like what Rachel and I shared. I shook my head in disgust. She never acts that way when I'm with her, she's actually fun.
My mind kept going back to my permanent label of being a man whore. It pissed me off that girls saw me this way, but I knew it was my fault. If I hadn't spent the majority of my life trying to be a ladies man, Rachel might actually want to be with me. I should be able to stand up in front of a jury and explain my case. People change, I most certainly had.
As I stared at the back of Rachel's head, inspiration suddenly hit. I grabbed my cd case and rummaged through it until I found the song I was looking for.
"Mr. Schue! I wanna sing one!" I yelled out. Everyone turned to me in shock. I was never one to volunteer to sing a solo.
"Um, Puck, this is duets day." He reminded me. I looked at the clock.
"Yeah, but we have ten more minutes and no one's up next." I told him. He shrugged his shoulders before motioning me to the front of the room.
I stood up and walked to the front of the class. I took a deep breath and cleared my throat.
"I know that most girl's think I'm not boyfriend material," I glanced at Rachel to see her confused face. She thought I had lost it. I just might have.
"I'm not going to argue with that. But I have something to offer, and I deserve a chance to prove it." I put my cd in the player and waited for the music to start.
The class looked shocked when the up tempo country music began to play. I grinned at everyone and began to tap my foot. Try resisting me now Rachel.
"Girl you've never known no one like me
Up there in your high society
They might tell you I'm no good
Girl they need to understand
Just who I am
I may be a real bad boy
Hang out with a rough and rowdy crowd
That don't mean I don't respect
My mama or my uncle Sam
Yes sir, yes ma'am
I might have a reckless streak
At least, a country mile-wide
I made eye contact with her, not caring if Finn saw.
If you're gonna run with me
It's gonna be a wild ride
When it comes to loving you
I've got velvet hands
I'll show you how a real bad boy
Can be a real good man.
Everyone was screaming and giggling. Rachel continued to watch me with a look in her eyes that confirmed everything for me. I smiled at her and winked. She blushed scarlet and looked down, making me smile even wider.
Suddenly Finn jumped up and yanked the stereo plug out of the wall. He stood in front of me, his face red from anger.
"What the hell man?" I yelled at him. He pushed himself into me and got in my face.
"What are you trying to pull Puckman?" He shouted at me. I pushed him away and stood up straight.
"I'm singing a song you moron!" I yelled back. Mr. Schuester ran over to us.
"Take it easy guys! Finn what's going on?" He demanded. Finn shook his head back and forth fuming.
"He's been flirting with Rachel all week! Every time I see them together, he's putting the moves on her!"
"I least someone is! Screw you Finn!" I shouted at him.
"She's my girlfriend asshole and I'll do what I want! Who the hell are you to tell me what to do with my girlfriend? Stay away from her or I'll beat the living crap out of you!"
"I'm not going anywhere and go ahead and try!" I pushed him as hard as I could, knocking him over. He jumped back up, and launched himself at me. We fell into the drum set, sending everyone on their feet. I grabbed Finn's shirt and forced him onto his back to avoid getting punched in the face.
Rachel ran up behind us screaming.
"Stop! Noah get off him!" At her command I stood up and walked away. I tried to steady my breathing as I watched her help him up.
"Finn it's okay! He's a charmer, it's who he is! You know that! I'm with you okay? After the week's over, things will go back to the way they were." The way they were?
"What the hell's that supposed to mean?" I shouted at her. "We aren't going to hang out anymore? You said you liked me!" Finn's looked at her in panic. She shook her head, unable to look me in the eye.
"I do, but Finn's my boyfriend and I'm not going to spend time with you if it hurts him."
I shook my head and felt the pain hit me harder than Finn ever could. I kicked the drum set and walked out of the classroom.
Once in the hallway, I punched a locker and smashed my forehead into it. I'm such an idiot. I didn't impact her decision at all and now the whole freaking world knows.
I heard footsteps behind me and I didn't even have to look.
"Back off Berry. I don't need any of this right now." I warned.
"Noah, I'm sorry. I can't do this to him ya know? He's good to me and I need to be the same to him." I laughed darkly.
"He's good to you huh? How so?" I pried, turning to face her. "He doesn't touch you, he's not willing to put everything on the line just to be with you, and he doesn't want you the way I do!"
She covered her face and took a deep breath.
"He treats me well, you know that. I enjoy spending time with him." She said softly.
"Do you love him?" I asked. She seemed taken back by my question.
"Get real Noah, we're in high school." I shrugged.
"So? You're eighteen aren't you? You think that just because you're in high school you can't fall in love?" Anger flooded her face.
"You of all people shouldn't even be talking about love!" She yelled at me. "You go through life using girls who you don't love and never will!"
"I've never tried anything with you Rachel! Nothing!" I screamed. "You aren't those other girls! What do I have to do to prove that to you? I want you, okay? I want you more than I've ever wanted anyone in my life!"
"Because you can't have me! I get how this works Noah!" She cried.
"No," I said, trying to hold the traitor tears back. "I want you because I want you. I have no agenda, no alternative motive. I want to be with you, it's that simple. There's nothing more to it." She closed her eyes, the realization of my words hitting her.
"I'm not in love with him." She said softly.
"You're not?" I asked in disbelief. She shook her head.
"No."
I leaned towards her and she inhaled sharply when I entered her comfort zone.
"I know that you are feeling what I'm feeling." I whispered in her ear. " If it weren't for Finn," I trailed off. She made herself look at me.
"I would be with you." She replied. I felt my heart stop beating as I thought about it. Berry and I together, as strange as it sounded, I knew it would be amazing. I would make it amazing.
I took her hand in mine and kissed it softly. She shook her head slowly.
"I can't do this to him, Noah. It's wrong. I'm so sorry." She turned away, leaving me behind.
The next few days were horrible. I hadn't spoken to her since that day in the hallway. I actually found myself avoiding her. As much as I hated to admit it, I actually felt physical pain every time I saw her. I hated myself for allowing myself to have feelings for her. Even thinking about her made my stomach hurt. It felt like every song I heard was about her, making Glee club unbearable.
I walked into class on Friday fearing our duet. I didn't want to stand up in front of everyone singing a song that to me, felt like our song. I thought about skipping, but I knew that Rachel would be furious with me. I sat down and waited for the rest of the class to enter.
Rachel was one of the last people to stroll in and I could tell by her avoidance of eye contact that she wasn't looking forward to it either. As Mr. Schuester called attendance, I heard him say Finn twice.
"Rachel, where's Finn?" He asked. I looked up to see that Finn was in fact, not here.
"He went on vacation with Kurt and their parents. He'll be gone for a week." I felt my dead heart beat again. A whole week without Finn around, this could work to my advantage!
Mr. Schuester grumbled something about not being told in advance before turning to the rest of us.
"Alright, Rachel and Puck you're up!" Everyone clapped as we awkwardly made our way to the front of the room. As the music started, Rachel's posture straightened, indicating that she was ready for show time. I took a deep breath and faced her before she started. She took a step towards me and looked deep into my eyes, causing me to do the same.I took her hand in mine without thinking and held it against my heart. She stiffened a little, but never once broke character. I blocked the rest of the world out and saw only her.
As the song went on, my heart broke over and over again. Just a few days ago this song meant something entirely different, it was hopeful. Now it sounded almost like a sick joke or a goodbye.
I held her hand tightly to my chest, hoping that she would feel the way it was racing. As we sang together, I could have sworn we were having a silent conversation. Her apologizing over and over, and me begging her to not give up on us.
When the song ended, we stayed where we were for a few moments before reluctantly pulling away and noticing the ten pairs of wide eyes staring at us. I cleared my throat and looked to Mr. Schuester to break the silence. He stood up and clapped.
"That was great guys! Very convincing and emotional. Now, who's up next?" I exhaled as I made my way back to my chair. Rachel sat down with a thud and didn't say a single word the rest of the class.
I wasn't looking forward to the weekend, it was two days without seeing Rachel. Despite how painful it was to see her, not seeing her was far worse. In hopes of speeding things along, I told my mom I'd change her oil and wash her car. She seemed surprised when I refused to let her pay me. Giving me something other than Rachel to think about was all the payment I wanted.
I worked alone in the garage, with my Bob Dylan mix playing. My dad was on a business trip in New York again and my mom was at her book club. I changed my mom's oil and washed the car before moving on to other side projects I had. When I finally looked at the clock, it was nine pm. I wiped my forehead and went inside to grab a soda. When I went back to the garage, I saw Rachel standing there. I stopped in my tracks, horrified at how oily and dirty I was. I walked over to the sink and washed my hands.
"Ever heard of calling Berry?" I asked her coldly.
"Honestly I didn't have the guts to." She responded. I raised an eyebrow at her.
"Yet you had the guts to come over?" I asked her. She nodded.
"Weird huh?" She laughed. I crossed my arms, letting her know I was waiting for her to explain herself. She took a deep breath.
"Yesterday when we were singing, I realized something." She said shyly. I waited for her to find the right words.
"The thing is, I like you much more than I should, you know that already. It happened with no warning and I'm done denying it. I know that I've been hurting you, and I hope you know it was never purposely," I shrugged my shoulders, keeping my face stone set. She cleared her throat nervously and went on.
"I came here to tell you that despite Finn and everything else, I want to be with you too."
My arms fell to my sides as I stood in silence. She nervously chuckled before continuing.
"I know it sounds cliche and incredibly corny, but you do something to me that no one else ever has. You call me out when you know I'm lying and make me face the things I normally run away from. When we hang out, I never want to leave and I never even think about Finn. All I can think about is how much I care about you." My heart was pounding so hard I thought I would die right there in front of her.
"What about Finn?" I asked, bringing the both of us back to reality. She sighed.
"I do care about Finn, but not in the way he deserves. He's a good guy and he'll make someone very happy one day."
"Did you break up with him?"
"No, I don't want to do it over the phone. I'm going to wait until he gets back. I owe him that much." She finished. I walked towards her slowly, trying to decide what to do next. She stared at me intensely, waiting for my decision. I stopped a few feet away from her.
"I want to dance with you." I blurted out, even surprising myself. Her eyes grew wide.
"You want to dance with me?" She asked, almost seeming to question my sanity.
"I'm not going to go behind Finn's back Rachel, even if you are going to break up with him anyway. I can't keep being that guy, the one who screws people over. As much as I want to kiss you right now, I'm not going to. But I would love to play a song for you and dance with you, if you don't mind the dirt." She smiled at me and nodded.
I walked over to my cd player and went to the song I wanted. As the music started, I wrapped my arms around her waist and placed my lips near her ear, singing her every word.
"When the rain's falling in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love
When evening shadows and the stars appear
There is no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love
I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
There's no doubt in my mind where you belong
I'd go hungry I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
There ain't nothin' that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love
The storm's are raging on the rolling sea
Down on the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
But you ain't seen nothin' like me yeah
I could make you happy, make your dreams come true
No there's nothin' that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the earth for you
To make you feel my love
To make you feel my love"
I let her go and kissed her forehead.
"Thank you for being honest with me Rachel." I said. She pulled back to look at my face.
"Thanks for making me."
We decided to only talk at school, at least until Finn got home. This was my idea since I knew my will power to stay away from her would crumble if we were ever alone. I knew Finn and I weren't really friends, at least not anymore, but I didn't want to go behind his back.
The week was going by so slowly, that I was certain we would never be together and that the other night was only a dream. I had to admit that I was a little nervous about being seen with a "girlfriend", it wasn't my style to be exclusive. I was positive that once Rachel and I were seen holding hands, most of the student body was going to crap their pants.
I sat in Glee Club waiting for Rachel to perform the song she had picked for this week's assignment. I had yet to pick one, but I always waited until the last minute. Rachel on the other hand, was always ready mid week.
Watching her sing was becoming my favorite part of the day. The way she performed was always amazing to me. She would always flash her breath taking smile at everyone and let the song consume her. I often wondered if she ever thought about me when she was singing. She never made direct eye contact with me, even though I always tried so hard to get her to.
Today she stood in front of us almost looking nervous. I looked around at everyone to see if they noticed this obvious change. They did.
"I chose a song this week that I want to sing to someone special." She smiled at me, but I tried to act like I didn't know what was going on, not sure if she meant to purposely acknowledge me. I had to admit, this secret we shared was fun.
Rachel sat down on a stool and nodded at the guitar player that she was ready. As the music started, she glanced at me and I gave her a wink.
"I try but I cant seem to get myself
To think of anything
But you
Your breath on my face
Your warm gentle kiss I taste the truth
I taste the truth
We know what I came here for
So I won't ask for more
I wanna be with you
If only for a night
To be the one whose in your arms
Who holds you tight
I wanna be with you
There's nothing more to say
There's nothing else I want more than to feel this way
I wanna be with you (yeah)
So I'll hold you tonight
Like I would if you were mine
to hold forever more
And I'll saver each touch that I wanted
So much to feel before (to feel before)
How beautiful it is
Just to be like this
I wanna be with you
If only for a night
To be the one whose in your arms
Who holds you tight
I wanna be with you
There's nothing more to say
There's nothing else I want more than to feel this way
(I wanna be) I wanna be with you
Oh baby
I can't fight this feeling anymore
It drives me crazy when I try to
So call my name
Take my hand
Make my wish
Baby, you'll commit
Yeah
I wanna be with you
There's nothing more to say
There's nothing else I want more than to feel this way
(I wanna be)I wanna be with you (I wanna be with you)
I wanna be with you
Wanna be with you (Yeah)
(I wanna be with you)I wanna be
I wanna be with you
(I wanna be)
(i wanna be)
(I wanna be with you) Yeah
(I wanna be with you)
I wanna be, I wanna be baby
I wanna be
(I wanna be with you)
I wanna be with you yeah
I wanna be with you
I wanna be with you"
As the song ended, I grinned at her, unable to hide my emotions. She timidly smiled back and stood up from the stool. As the class began to clap, I saw Santana fly to the front of the room.
"Are you kidding me!" She shouted in Rachel's face. Rachel stepped back in shock.
"Um, what?" Rachel asked her. Santana looked back and pointed angrily at me.
"You are delusional if you think that he would ever want to be with you and no crappy pop ballad is going to change his mind! He's mine bitch, you're wasting your pathetic time!" Rachel's eyes were filled with tears as she starred at Santana's livid expression. I watched lividly as tears began to fall down Rachel's cheeks. Santana started to laugh.
"Are you seriously crying?" Mr. Schue walked over to her.
"Santana! If you have an issue with Rachel, there are other ways to discuss it." She nodded at him and then glared back at Rachel.
"You are not his type, he will never pick you over me, got it?" I couldn't take it anymore, watching Santana attack Rachel like that made me sick. Sick that I was ever involved with such a crappy person and sick that I used to be one. I rose from my chair slowly, catching their attention.
"Santana wait," I said as composed as I could. She gave me a bitterly sweet smile as I walked towards them. I took a deep breath. This was it.
"Tell her Puck, tell her the way you feel." She glared at Rachel and waited for my reply.
"I love you." I said to Rachel, completely ignoring her. Santana's mouth dropped in horror. I walked towards Rachel and took a deep breath.
"I love you." I repeated. Rachel smiled at me in pure joy. I looked at Santana.
"You and I had a lot of fun, but it wasn't anything more than that and you know that too." I told her. Her mouth dropped open and for once in her life, she was speechless. I took Rachel's hand in mine and led her to the chair next to mine. Everyone was silent, absolutely stunned. Rachel leaned over to me.
"Now what? I didn't even get to tell Finn yet!" She whispered to me.
"We'll figure it out." I grinned at her.
-That's all I have so far! I will finish it ASAP. All songs will be listed when it's done. ;)
Also, if any of you are Twilight fans, I have a story under another pen name (A friend of mine was reading it and didn't exactly support my little hobby. So I decided to start a new profile and upload new stories onto it. That way she can't read any of my stories and I can continue in secrecy.) If you're interested, it's called "My Protector, My Everything" pen name: Jazzyjen.
Thanks FF friends!