A/N: I was reading some good SasoDei stories, and noticed that most of them concerning the desert ended up being hurt/comfort. Not that I minded- I sucked it all up like a leech.

But then I got inspired to write one where maybe the desert and Sasori have different intentions :P

Here's the result.

Warning: Language, slight violence, OOC...

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters used for this story.

Deidara was sitting on the Akatsuki's living room sofa, reading a book on planting that Zetsu had lent him.

It was early in the afternoon and he had nothing better to do. He didn't think he'd find it interesting at first, but the book was strangely fascinating. And it was funny looked at the footnotes Zetsu wrote in at the bottom of pages.

That guy had a great sense of humor.

Anyhow, there was nothing really to do. Deidara had expected the base of such a powerful organization to be intimidating and silent, but it was really rowdy. He could hear Kisame and Hidan having a cooking competition in the kitchen with Konan shouting at them and Tobi trying to get involved. And watching the television beside him was Kakuzu. Itachi and Pein were off playing Shogi on top the base and Zetsu was out in the woods.

Sasori was…

Well Deidara didn't care what Sasori was doing.

He and the older man- even though Sasori looked way younger- had gotten off on the wrong foot and stayed there even since he was forced into the organization.

They bickered every chance they got and pissed each other off just for the fun of it.

Or what started out as fun and soon turned into miniature spars that ended up pissing every off.

Especially their leader.

Deidara was surprised to say in the least. He didn't think it was possible to get into so many fights after only being recruited into Akatsuki two days ago.

Even Sasori seemed surprised that he could get riled so easily.

It was interesting, their encounters and everything, but Deidara would prefer to not see his partner anytime soon.

To the Iwa nin's great chagrin, the redhead walked into the room, garbed in his cloak.

Deidara made a face.

"Come on brat," Sasori said, walking by without even sparing him a glance.

Deidara got up from the sofa and set the book down, curiously padding after his partner. "What's going on?"

"We have a mission."

"Oh." Deidara noticed they were headed straight for the exit of the Akatsuki hideout. "Wait. Don't we need to pack and stuff hmm?" He was already wearing his cloak, but if they were going to be heading out for a while…

Sasori snorted to himself. "No. You won't need anything but your brain and the clay on you. The former which I doubt you have. We're just going to retrieve a scroll that got lost in the Wind Desert. There are no enemy nin in the area, so all we need to worry about is finding it before someone else comes along and gets their hands on it."

"Wow un."

Sasori gave his new partner a dull look. "What is it?"

Deidara looked at him, grinning impishly. "Kisame-no-danna was right. All you guys ever do is go on missions for scrolls."

Sasori resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Don't be an idiot. We only go out for scrolls when taking beginners like you or when Leader-san thinks we have too much leisure time on our hands."

Deidara frowned. "Hey- I'm no beginner un."

Sasori looked at him. "Yeah- and I'm secretly plotting to take over the world."

"Really?"

"No!" Sasori clouted him over the head before turning on his heel and starting to walk out the base.

Deidara harrumphed, grumpily folding his arms across his chest. "Well someone's in a bad mood," he grumbled, following after the irate redhead.

-Right On The Border Of The Wind Desert-

Deidara and Sasori were walking the last few stretches through the Forest they were in, keeping themselves occupied with calling each other names and trying to hit one another with the sharp branches they walked under.

"Danna is such a prick un."

"Deidara is such an idiot."

"So are you un!" Deidara grabbed a branch, turning to the side and whipping it at the redhead idly walking behind him.

"Well that wasn't obvious at all," Sasori said, catching the branch. He snapped the it right back at Deidara and watched as the blonde narrowly dodged. He snorted and followed his younger partner out of the forest border and onto the first few feet of sand. "You have horrible reflexes."

"Shut up Sasori-no-dango," Deidara mumbled.

Sasori looked at him. "Really? Dango? That was the best you could come up with? Deidara-no-bimbo."

"Shut up un!"

Sasori pushed past the angry blonde. "In case you haven't noticed brat, we're here."

"Whoa…" Deidara stared at the large expanse of sand in front of him. "This desert is really big!"

"Of course it is," Sasori told him. "How are you just noticing it now…?" he grumbled to himself. Then he cleared his throat and spoke up. "We obviously won't be able to find this scroll right away. And it'll take us a while to get through it. But no matter what- we have to get back to the base before nightfall. So we have to be somewhat hasty."

"I'll just fly then," Deidara excitedly said, already chewing clay in the palm on his left hand. He only had enough clay for one sculpture, so if they ran into any trouble along the way…

Well Sasori could handle it.

Deidara snickered to himself.

"How the hell do you intend on finding a scroll the size of your brain from all the way up in the air?" Sasori asked, giving the blonde an annoyed look.

"Oh nice insult," Deidara sneered. "What- did you learn that the same place you got your horrible fashion sense from?"

"You idiot," Sasori deadpanned. "We're wearing the exact same thing."

Deidara scowled at this, releasing his small clay creation and forming a seal to make it expand. "Yeah well my hair's better un. Katsu!"

His clay exploded into a very large butterfly.

Sasori stared as Deidara gleefully ran over to his creation, getting ready to climb on. "Why…is it a butterfly?" he asked, a brow quirking ever so slightly.

Deidara scoffed, looking over his shoulder at him with a smug smirk. "Because birds are so overrated un."

Sasori rolled his eyes, crossing his arms as his partner clambered on top his apparently underrated butterfly. "Oh that's real smart brat. Fly around in the middle of a desert on a giant butterfly. No one's going to notice that," he sarcastically muttered.

"Shut up danna!" Deidara snapped, petting his clay creation's head absently. "And here I was gonna offer you a ride un. But no way now! You can have a nice time walking for all I care!"

"Oh no, you've deprived me of my greatest wish," Sasori dryly stated. He snorted lightly, striding past the Iwa moron. "I hope you fall of that thing and die."

"Well I hope you get stuck in quicksand and suffocate!" Deidara retaliated before taking off into the sky with his butterfly. "Stupid Sasori-no-ding-dong!"

Sasori gave him a completely disgusted look. "Your comebacks are as horrible as your face. Stupid Deidara-no-dumbass."

"Screw you yeah!"

"No thank you!"

The two partners glared holes into one another's head before huffing and looking away, stomping off towards their destination.

One in the air and one on the ground.

-An Hour Later-

Deidara, having gotten bored with flying up in the air several miles from his partner, was now manuvering his butterfly closer to the ground. Of course- he was still nowhere near his annoyingly gruff partner, but he was close enough to make sure the redhead didn't suddenly abandon him.

Speaking of his partner…

Deidara looked down, seeing the telltale black and red speck that was Akatsuki and his danna put into one. He couldn't help but snort to himself. The man was short, grumpy, and obviously looked down on him and his skill. He could respect Sasori all he wanted, but it didn't mean he had to like him. A guy like that- he would never get along with.

"Just wait until I blow one of his precious puppets up…" Deidara muttered. He was about to tear his gaze from his ever impassive partner when something caught his eye.

Was it just him…or was the sand under Sasori's feet moving?

Deidara worriedly watched the sand rising and falling beneath him, unsure as if it was actually supposed to be doing that. But then again, Sasori didn't look all too concerned so it couldn't be much of a problem. The blonde's frown deepened. Even so…

He shooed the birds resting on his butterfly's neck away, wanting to make sure they didn't get hurt, and then moved quickly to where his danna was.

Sasori gave him a dark glare when he saw who had come up behind him. But honestly- who else was he expecting to see? The blonde was the only one within a ten mile radius of him. "What's with the face?" he asked.

Deidara felt his own twisted face before relaxing it into his usual grin. "Nothing really un. I was just wondering why the sand is shifting so much."

"Shifting?" Sasori raised a brow and then looked down where indeed the sand was shifting. "Hmm. I never noticed."

Deidara deadpanned. "What kind of a S-ranked shinobi are you un?" he questioned in a low tone as to not be overheard.

"We'll get there soon enough," Sasori idly said.

"I sure hope so," Deidara muttered. "I can't see anything but sand for eons un."

Sasori found himself smirking, glancing from side-to-side. "Well this is interesting…" he mused above Deidara's complaining.

Deidara looked at him, brows raised. "What is?"

"Nothing's attacked you yet."

Deidara blanched. "What's that supposed to mean un?"

Sasori hummed in the back of his throat. "Oh nothing," he cheerfully replied.

Deidara suspiciously stared at him and then mumbled something unintelligible under his breath before taking off for the sky. Though this time he was slightly more aware of his surroundings.

Sasori couldn't help but release a small laugh as the blonde brat vanished out of hearing range. "This is certainly interesting," he chuckled. "Maybe the moron will last for a bit."

-Two And A Half Hours Later-

Deidara swooped down to his danna, skin feeling hot and the corners of his lips dry. "Sasori-no-danna…"

The redhead looked at him. "What is it?"

"Where is this scroll un?"

Sasori raised a brow. "Out here somewhere."

"What kind of an answer is that?" Deidara grumbled. He was irritated for some reason but didn't know why.

"Don't get all snappy at me just because the heat is beginning to bother you," Sasori said with a knowing smirk.

Deidara looked offended. "The heat is not bothering me un."

Sasori's smirk grew. "I think it is. But whatever brat. Maybe if you searched a little harder, then we wouldn't be stuck out here for so long," he nonchalantly said.

"I think you got us lost un," Deidara suddenly said. "That's why we can't find anything."

"I didn't get us lost."

Deidara ignored him. "We're lost in a giant desert. Thanks a lot danna un."

"We're not lost," Sasori said, beginning to get irked at the blonde.

"Then why aren't we going anywhere?"

"We're walking aren't we?"

Deidara sniffed, crossing his arms. "Yeah- but you're so slow you might as well be standing still. And here I thought you were slow enough in Hiruko hmm."

Sasori felt a vein pop.

Deidara sneered. "What- no comeback Sasori-no-baka?"

"Just shut up and keep flying Deidara-no-I'm going to kill you if you don't get the hell outta my sight!" Sasori yelled at him.

Deidara harrumphed loudly, zooming straight back into the air. "Jerk un!"

-Fifteen Minutes Later-

Deidara tiredly blinked up at the sun from where he lay eagle-spread on his butterfly.

It was hot, he was thirsty, and for some odd reason his head was getting light. Logic said he should probably move away from the burning ball of fire in the sky, but he really didn't feel like directing his butterfly at the moment. It seemed perfectly content with getting higher in the sky without his consent. He rubbed the black spots out of his eyes with the back of his fists, deciding to stand and see if that would wake him up.

A wave of dizziness hit him and he tripped over his feet, rolling off his flying creation.

"WAAAAAHHHHH!"

Sasori watched from the bottom of a particularly large dune as his younger partner suddenly pitched over the side of his butterfly and began plummeting to the sandy hills below. A large plume of sand kicked up into the air, forming a soundless explosion as the blonde smacked into the ground.

"Dammit un! I think I broke something!"

Sasori deadpanned, walking at a leisurely pace towards where Deidara had vanished. He wasn't too concerned, knowing that the sand could be very cushiony when it wanted to be.

Like right now.

Sasori furrowed his brows as the sand he was walking through became softer and heavier with each step. His brows continued to turn in once he noticed the fact that the sand was beginning to shift around him in a giant swirl. The redhead narrowed his eyes as he legs began to twist and his body started to turn itself in a circle.

He was in- for better lack of words- a sand whirlpool.

"What the hell is going on?" he muttered as he began twisting around faster. "I'm getting dizzy… This hasn't happened before has it? Bleurgh! I feel lunch coming up!"

While Sasori was caught up in a neverending spinning cycle from the waist down on one end of the desert, his partner was talking to his clay butterfly which had peacefully flitted to where he lay after he had fallen.

"I knew you'd never leave me un!"

"I would never leave you Deidara."

"Promise?"

"Promise." The butterfly twitched one of its attenas up to the clear blue sky. "Well- my friends are calling. Time to go."

Deidara blinked, reaching a hand out from where he was still sprawled on the ground. "But you just said you wouldn't leave me un!"

The butterfly smirked, suddenly donning a pair of sunglasses with a boom box on one shoulder. "See ya sucker. Hehehe…"

"Noooo!" Deidara tried and failed to get up, only to face-plant with a mouthful of sand.

~X~

About two hours later, Sasori was able to pull himself out of the sucking sand.

He puffed for a bit to regain his lost breath and then glanced around.

His younger partner was no where to be found.

With an unconcerned shrug, Sasori climbed to his feet and emptied the sand out of his cloak. He then ran a hand through his hair to get all the sand out before scanning the whispering dunes of the desert. "Well he's either dead or...dead."

But he highly doubted his partner would be killed so easily.

As if on cue, Deidara's hand shot out of the ground several feet away, followed by an arm and a head as he pulled himself out from where the sand had buried him. He spit out a mouthful of the gritty grains before losing all sources of energy and collapsing onto his back. He stared listlessly up at the paling sky, arms and legs spread out before him.

Sasori laughed out loud to himself and then walked towards the blonde. "Well don't you look comfortable," he snidely said, standing beside the boy.

"Shut up danna," Deidara mumbled, trying to gain back his bearings. His head still felt as light as it had four hours ago, thoughts incoherent. "There's something wrong with this desert yeah..."

"Noo. You think so?" Sasori smirked.

Deidara slowly looked at his partner's form hovering over his own and then glared.

"What?"

"Aren't you going to help me up un?"

Sasori's face suddenly turned serious, staring down at him with something akin to distaste. "If you need my help to stand, then you don't deserve to be in Akatsuki- let alone be my partner." He pivoted on his heel and started to walk in the direction they had originally come from. Though how he could tell was a mystery to Deidara.

Everything in the desert looked the same to him.

Deidara scowled, watching as his supposed partner walked away from him. "Don't deserve to be his stupid partner my ass un. Did I ask to come out in the desert to begin with? Who the hell can find a scroll in this place anyway?" He rolled onto his side, ignoring the way his skin screamed in protest, and began to sit up. "But still…"

He pushed to his feet, irritably cleaning the sand out of his ears and trying to wring it out of his hair. A pretty impossible task since his hands were plastered with the tiny grains and were only serving to put more sand in his once golden locks.

It was his very first mission, and he had failed it.

Deidara found his face contorting in an expression of both amusement and disappointment. No wonder his danna sounded so angry and opted to leave him. And Pein would be angry too.

Deidara shook his head to himself and grinned, running towards his partner to catch up before he got left too far behind.

Oh well.

He could always blame it on the sun.

Sasori looked over his shoulder at the clearly heat-giddy blonde and smirked. "What an idiot…"

-Three Hours Later In The Akatsuki Base-

Pein stared at his two sand-covered and pink-skinned artists. "What did you say happened again?"

Deidara lifted an arm to scratch behind his head and winced, skin burning and extremely sensitive. "The desert tried to kill us."

Pein felt an eye twitch. "Right- as if I'd believe that. It looks like you two morons underestimated the powers of heat and dehydration." He brought his annoyed gaze to Sasori who stared back in boredom. "It's your homeland- shouldn't you have known about things like this?"

"I forgot," Sasori said, cleaning out his ear with a pinky.

Pein felt a vein pop. "How can you forget something like that!" he yelled.

Sasori gave a light shrug. "Well you can't expect me to remember everything…"

"When you come from Sunagakure I do!" Pein slapped a hand to his face in frustration. "Argh! Nevermind. You two go see Kakuzu for treatment."

Deidara raised a brow. "Why would we need to do that un?"

Pein shot the Iwa nin a dark look. "What are you talking about? Have you seen yourself lately?"

"Don't need to hmm. I can feel it perfectly fine," Deidara sniffed, crossing his arms across his chest.

"What my idiotic partner means to say," Sasori intervened before his leader and partner could start a fight, "is that I know how to treat our sunburns. So it would be pointless to go to Kakuzu."

Pein slowly blinked. "If you knew how to treat yourselves," he said as if he were restraining his wrath, "then why didn't you do so before you came back?"

Sasori gave a lazy heave of his shoulders. "It didn't occur to me until now. But thanks for the reminder."

Pein felt several veins pop and a large furnace of flames rise up behind him. "Out of my sight- NOW!"

~X~

Deidara pursed his lips over his shoulder, gruffly eyeing the door to their leader's chambers which they had just been kicked out of. "Well what's his problem un?"

"Who knows," Sasori uninterestedly said. He turned on his heel and began walking down towards his room. "If you want something for your burns then follow me."

Deidara trailed after his older partner, really having nothing better to do and not knowing how to take care of his aching skin without screwing himself up even more. Their trek through the short hall was silent for the most part, a few curious and mortified looks coming from the other members they passed.

"What the fuck happened to you two?" Hidan asked, lifting a brow as he walked by covered in blood and a ritual pike in hand.

Sasori smirked, glancing sideways at the Jashinist. "Se-cret," he said, pronouncing the word separately.

Hidan just gave the puppet a blank look before shaking his head and storming into the bathroom nearby.

Deidara cast his partner a curious glance, trying not to move any part of his body too much. "Sasori-no-danna…?"

"Hm?"

"Why aren't you mad un?"

Sasori lifted a brow as he pushed open the door to his room, beckoning the blonde inside. He closed the door behind him so that none of the other members would bother them and then walked over to one of his desk drawers. "Why would I be mad brat?"

Deidara lifted a brow right back at him. "Well…not only did we fail on the mission, but you got all er- injured and stuff."

"I'm betting it's hurting you more than me," Sasori said with a scoff. He turned around with a container in his hand. "Come here- this will cool down your skin."

Deidara stared. "Why is it bubbling over?"

Sasori blinked and then looked at what he held. "Whoops. Wrong container," he muttered, turning back around to get another one.

Deidara sweatdropped lightly. "Maybe we should just go to Kakuzu un…"

"No need." Sasori faced him with a safer-looking bottle in his grasp, a smug expression on. "After all, I am your partner. And partners should tend to each other in their time of need- right?"

Deidara warily eyed him. "For some odd reason, you saying that doesn't reassure me."

"Ouch." The redhead smirked and came to stand beside the taller blonde. "But seriously. You should be glad the desert let you off with just this. You're in considerably good shape and should be ready for another mission in a few days. Even Orochimaru ended up bald and shedding skin for several weeks."

The fourteen year old blonde seemed very confused. "Um…what are you talking about? How did your last partner end up in this conversation un?"

Sasori looked amused at this. "Every time I get a new partner, I usually ask Leader-san to let us take a run through the desert on the alibi of a low-class mission. The only partners I've had that survived the mini trial are Orochimaru and you."

Deidara slowly blinked. "Trial? You mean the mission was a fake?"

"That's right. The desert does not let those it doesn't like live. It doesn't matter how many times it tries to swallow you whole and spits you back up," the redhead grinned at him.

"Why do I get the feeling you're speaking from experience hmm?" Deidara grumbled under his breath.

Sasori started cackling to himself, dipping his fingers in the container of burn ointment. "I am. I've gone through that trial so many times. Now I just get caught off guard by the amazing variety of danger all that sand produces. My very first partner got turned into a sandman- with a carrot nose and everything."

Deidara deadpanned, looking away with fake tears pouring out of his eyes. "Why is everyone in Akatsuki so frickin' scary…?"

Sasori laughed loudly, clapping him on the back with a salve-coated hand. "Who knows," he said, a bright gleam in his eye.

Deidara felt a painful tingle run up his spine before twitching and falling to the floor. "Damn you!" He started to get to his knees, blistering skin burning against the stone beneath him. "I don't hear about any of the other members having to go through a stupid desert to be accepted into an organization they were already forced to be in."

"Well consider yourself special then," Sasori snickered.

Deidara scowled up at him. "I don't like you un."

Sasori smirked, leaning forward with his hands on his hips until his nose was practically touching his partner's.

"Welcome to Akatsuki…Deidara."

A/N: And that's what I thought of.

I just hope you enjoyed it :P

I know I had fun writing this one ^v^