Mosh Pit

Author's note: This story explores Illyana's early days before she vanished only to return for the relaunched New Mutants a few days later. Takes place during the re-launched New Mutants (after Dani and Karma are rescued). For those who read the original Mosh Pit story this is a major update as I decided to fully flesh out the time Illyana was with the X-Men before vanishing.

Yes I appear to place lots of extra trauma upon Illyana. But in my defense I'm simply trying to make the printed story lines line up as to why she was more emotional after X-Infernus and so very much less emotional on the re-launch of the New Mutants.

Plus one has to account for various old X-men side plots that in her eyes likely would look very much like betrayal.

The story

Part 1: Party like it's 1999

Berto relaxed in one of the private room's black leather chairs. The beat of the techno euro funk was vibrating the ashtray that was resting on an end table next to him. It was Friday night in the city by the bay and Roberto was on the prowl. He was at the club Night Moves, a popular club with the more financially in crowd; one of the clubs he frequented. Berto had a standing right of first refusal reservation each Friday and Saturday night; expensive but heck he had the money.

Once you got past the club's front door you would find a large open area lounge/bar with various tables and semi private booths; plus five bars. This opened onto a dance floor, the ceiling of the bar/longue and dance floor was 3 stories above. Berto's private room, on the third floor, allowed him a view of the dance floor behind privacy glass (which could be opened if so desired).

The night was early (only 9:30pm) and Berto was relaxing with a Brazilian beer (Perigosa Imperial IPA). One of the reasons he liked the club was their willingness to stock over a dozen beers from Brazil (they had over five hundred different beers, fifty on tap). Berto leaned forward to eye the dance floor "Hmm let's see what else is on tap tonight?" while he finished off his beer.

Berto reviewed the dancers. Mostly the usual Friday night crowd.

Ahhh. There's Cynthia, or Sinthya as she spells it. God the things that girl could do with her mouth, when she wasn't talking with it that is. Berto quickly remembered why she was not a prime pick. Defiantly puts the F in fun but can't shut up unless you shove something in her mouth. Berto fondly remembered a prior encounter (minus the chatter) of shoving something in her mouth while continuing to look over the crowd.

Beth, now that's a possibility, but she's dancing with some Asian guy and they look serious if her bump and grind is any indication. Oh well. Hmm the blond looks hot.

Berto had spied a blond woman dancing with some redheaded chick. Her back was to him but he could tell she was looker. She was wearing some kind of black leather dress that had to be painted on (wow is that tight). Hmm, potential. Let's see what the face and front look like; wonder if the rug matches the drapes? They continued to dance and as her front swung into view Berto dropped his beer bottle in surprise. It was Illyana, and yes she was hot.

"Damn who'd have thunk it. Wonder who the redhead is?" Berto mused as he continued to watch the dancing pair. After the song ended Illyana danced away from her partner and ended up paired up with some guy. Berto grabbed another beer from the ice bucket and continued to watch, all thoughts of searching out some evening entertainment temporarily shelved.

Illyana danced with an unrestrained wildness. There was a raw passion to it, giving a hint of what a more intimate encounter could be like.

One dance, that was it for most of them. Illyana switched partners after almost every song. Almost never a repeated partner although some would definitely try; both men and woman. After an hour Berto thought he had cracked the dance filter as it were. Never a big muscular guy, although they tried, and never a blond female, although they tried as well.

Currently Illyana was dancing with a brunet haired woman. She was shorter then Illyana and a bit thinish. Wow, made it to the third song, she's the first one. Hmm the brunet reminded him of somebody. Before Berto could recall who he was reminded of, a rather large muscular guy attempted to cut in on the dance.

Illyana disregarded him with a curt gesture and continued to dance with her current partner. "Not going to happen dude" Berto thought with a chuckle. "You are not making it pass the filter". Mister big and beefy apparently decided that No was not the answer he was looking for and attempted to overrule Illyana's dance partner choice.

Berto surged to his feet as he watched the dude (now transformed into a thug in Berto's mind) push away Illyana's dance partner and forcible grab Illyana while backhanding her; the crowded dance floor suddenly making a space around the trio. Before Berto could take a step he felt a thought intrude, or in this case a spell.

"Ignore us" was the gist of the message. In this case the crowd went back to dancing, but for some reason Berto was excluded from the spell (Author's note: You don't want your teammates caught up in group spells. Think of it as a default spell casting parameter. You might still use the default settings even if your teammates are not around; or you think that they are not around). Berto could see the white of her smile from were he stood.

The dance floor lights were flashing in strobe mode. One flash the bruiser was there, the next flash he was gone.

"Bastard deserved it but not good. Not good at all". Berto thought as Illyana helped her dance partner up from the ground and resumed dancing. He hoped that Illyana had just ported him to Limbo and had not disintegrated him or something. Not that Limbo was safe. Oh no, not safe at all. Only as safe as its ruler wanted it to be for somebody; assuming that said ruler was paying attention which in this case appeared to be a definite no.

The song ended and Illyana apparently decided to leave the dance floor with her dance partner. They passed out of view from Berto as they drifted off into some another part of the club. Then just as the next song began, the lights still strobeing, the creep was back. He looked... tattered. His clothing torn, worn out, and befouled. It looked like he had lost 30 pounds and he had a wild terrified hunted look in his eyes. He wildly spun around the room and then fell to his knees crying; all the while the dancers just danced around him.

"Well shit, serves him right" Berto thought. "Damn, amazing what just a few days can apparently do. Although to be honest it wasn't really a few days". Roberto remembered the briefing he and Sam had gotten from Scott just over a week ago.

REFLECTION

Roberto and Sam were sitting in a conference room with Scott, Emma, Logan, and Hank (Beast), and Kurt (Nightcrawler).

Scott started the meeting. "I'd like to thank you two for agreeing to work with Illyana under such circumstances. We believe she needs contact, immersion with people. Friends. Family. And their in short supply at the moment".

Sam injected, "No thanks needed, she was our teammate, one of us".

Scott continued, "I know, but thanks none the less. To summarize, Illyana died or vanished at the end of Inferno. A younger Illyana emerged from that only to later die. That was years ago. Then recently Belasco resurrected Illyana, apparently from the point at which she ended Inferno. She subsequently killed him, but before that she captured and tortured a group of our students. We don't think she was in her right mind at that time. Afterwards she kicked everybody out of Limbo and sealed it tight after meeting her brother".

"She returned just hours ago after her soul sword was pulled from Kurt where apparently Amanda had hidden it. This was detected by Illyana and she seized the sword from Megan after assaulting and defeating everybody who stood in her way. Touching the sword apparently transformed her into her human form and we hope her former mental patterns as well. After a battle in Limbo with Lady Witchfire, where Witchfire stole another soul gem from Megan, Illyana returned everybody from Limbo and was convinced to stay".

"Many of our younger members either have direct unpleasantness experiences with Illyana or their friends suffered at her hands. Only a few people here actually have any friendship history with Illyana and you two, plus her brother, Kurt, and Logan are currently it as Dani and Karma are out of contact and Kitty is... well Kitty is MIA".

Emma continued the briefing. "Her mental state is unknown. Her mental shields are as strong as even. I'd have a better chance breaching Hover dam by throwing marshmallows at it then piercing her shields. Although it's possible that the Cuckoos hive mind might be able to actually find a bearing in there; I'll have the girls take a look. Back to the main point, she is in turmoil right now. The recovery of her missing soul sword has likely completely disrupted her mindscape. We have an opportunity, a window has opened as it were, to help her acclimate and identify with the human rather then the demon side of her nature. Her experiences in Limbo are mostly unknown, but we have it on good authority" She gave a sideways glance at Logan, "That as much trauma as she has caused people, her own trauma may vastly exceed theirs; partial explaining her disturbed state".

"The goal is to try to have at least one of you with her at all times, preferable two. Logan, Kurt, Sam, Roberto, and Peter will switch off. Careful forensic examination of the memories of these who encountered her offer us hope for her rehabilitation. She was apparently briefly knocked somewhat senseless during the original encounter and started asking for her friends, her brother, and Kitty. Which brings us to the topic of Kitty. It is the consensus of this group", again another sideways glance at Logan "That Kitty is off limits for the next few days. Do not discuss Kitty. Do not mention what happened to her. Simple defer any such questions for the next few days. Simply say that she is away and we are attempting to contact her".

"Currently Peter and Illyana are at the gazebo by the pond. Kurt has just come from there. Kurt any additional observations or insights"?

Kurt sighed. "Yes and it's not good. Peter, Illyana and I were sitting on the benches by the pond throwing some breadcrumbs in for the Koi to eat. Peter kept hugging her and she finally asked that he refrain. Quote: She doesn't like to be touched, brings back bad memories. I could see her tense up every time she was touched. In an attempt to lighten the mood I bamf'd off to get some ice cream shakes. I returned and gave her a strawberry shake. She tried it and started to cry. Started mumbling about how she had become so certain that the nightmares had to have been lies. False promises. Just additional ways for him to torture her. That having violated everything else he had amused himself by raping her memories as well. That nothing could actually taste so good. Then she started looking around like she expected something to happen, after a few more sips on the straw she whispered that this must not be a dream because this was when it would always turn to shit and the screaming would start. Not good my friends. Not good. Peter did not take it well".

Emma finished the briefing. "The rules are simple. No Kitty. Minimize touching. Talk with her but don't pry, let her do the talking. And NO sexual contact. Don't get angry with me Roberto, the comment was not aimed at you; well mostly not aimed at you. Abuse victims have different coping mechanisms. There is no telling what... outlets she may have developed to deal with issues. For many those outlets can be variants of the abuse and can be self reinforcing. We need to gently integrate her, otherwise the stimuli may be too much".

Sam injected. "Sounds like a Holocaust victim. Like when they rescued the survivors from the Nazi camps. It was found that they couldn't really eat real food any more. Too rich. Many camp survivors promptly died after eating a full meal because their bodies couldn't take it. Took time for their bodies to adjust".

Emma looked thoughtful for a few seconds. "Good analogy and even more scary. We don't know how mentally fragile she is. What we do know is how lethal she can be. Give her space. Give her room. Help her adjust".

The room emptied out. Just Logan, Scott, and Emma remained. The conference room door was still open and Roberto hung back out of sight. He heard Logan grumble "I still think you're both wrong about Kitty. Kid need a purpose, a reason to be better then what she's regressed into, made into. Kitty's that reason, and our best hope for both her and Kitty".

Scott frowned as he replied. "I agree that she's Kitty's best hope. Her abilities over time and space should allow her to either locate that bullet, or allow her to go back in time and rescue Kitty after the bullet passed thought the earth. But I'll have to defer to Emma and Hank's medical belief that she needs some acclimation time".

Emma stood up to leave. "Hank and I both agree that she's a walking trauma. Having regained a sliver of soul as it were, whatever that really means, is bound to trigger ethical and moral dilemmas over her prior actions. She, and we, need a few days to try to determine just what and who we're really dealing with".

END REFLECTION

Berto no longer felt in the mood for the hunt. He slouched back in the chair and grabbed another beer and mused upon his childhood interactions with Illyana all those years ago, and how he had treated her before she died. He had mostly not been kind.

Yea she had been scary, scary and beautiful and ruthless, but the scary part always ended up winning most of the time with him. He could have tried harder, made more of an effort. But he had let his fears of her lead him more then he should have.

"I'll try to do better this time Illyana". He promised himself. "But damn she's still scary".