DO NOT take this hastily written gunk/fluff seriously. I was super bored…So without further ado, a one-shot that has no depth or death in it. ^.^ Mild violence and…er, slight innuendo, cuz I couldn't resist. And I guess some drama. But. This was simply my way of venting/having fun at the time.

And yes, apparently Kishi managed to wrap the whole Gaiden thing up pretty fast…so this comes WAY too late. Blame my slow writing. And listening to the GOG Awesome Mix Vol 1 on Youtube. :3

Theme song? Kiss With a Fist :3

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DruuunK D&ddie$

DISCLAIMER: I do not own characters or take any credit for them. They are the property of Masashi Kishimoto and Shueisha

"You seriously need to talk to your daughter," he complained, unrolling his sleeping bag out onto the cold, dark grass. The clearing was lit only by moonlight and the campfire his friend had put together only a few minutes ago. It was unbelievable how fast night had come. Or maybe the change in lighting just struck him so much after spending so much time in the office.

Back to the window, papers piled sky high. Inbox flashing. Day in. Day out…Ugh.

He had nearly forgotten what camping out was like. Man, Hokage duties outside the office was seriously nice for a change.

His jerk of a friend (and this is being nice) merely replied with his trademark "Hn" and continued fumbling through his pack. He seemed to be looking for something….

"I'm being serious man," Naruto said, pointing to the sleeping bundle of pre-teen angst snoozing a few feet from them with her tubby friend. "She's freaking out. Sakura was just kidnapped—heck, she's doubting if she's even her ma, and then there's you who she's just met. That's pathetic man. I know you're on this important mission and all but would it have killed you to introduce yourself to your daughter when she was younger? And not only that, but did you have to be so clueless that you even held her at sword point?! I mean, geez!"

Sasuke paused his search to glance at the two sleeping children. "Let me guess. That one's the fatty Chouji's?" he asked, referring to the dark-skinned Chocho.

Naruto rolled his eyes at the attempt to change the subject. Typical. "Uh-huh. She's…I don't know what she's doing here honestly."

"Why's she…"

Dark skin wasn't a common trait in Konoha and her father was obviously of pale pigmentation.

"That one chick in the Cloud," Naruto said, voice hinting at a very subtle underlay of bitterness, one no one else would have been able to detect. Sasuke smirked, knowing his friend all too well.

"The one who beat you to a bloody pulp?"

"You heard about that!?" the disturbed blond exclaimed, his cheeks reddening.

"Please. When someone's my target, I make it my business to know things. Besides, letting her sit on and beat you was stupid. What an idiot. If anything I got a good laugh hearing about it."

"Hah, as if you were even capable of laughing," Naruto growled. And what's he mean by a target? Cripes. He toppled me once!

Smirking still, Sasuke turned back around to rummage through his pack and missed the Finger pointed at him.

(Had the kids been awake, Naruto would have refrained himself from the old habit.)

"And, really, what about Sarada?" Naruto said. (Lowering his swathed hand back down.) "When ya gonna talk to her?"

"Why's it your concern?"

"'Cuz I'm Hokage and it's my duty. Not to mention our families are…linked. Old friends. Part of the same team. Take your pick."

"Don't pull that crap on me," Sasuke snapped.

"Okay," Naruto groaned. "I just…feel for her. I mean, I know she's has Sakura but…She needs both of her parents."

"If I abandon my mission there won't be any more families." Typical of him. Excuses, excuses.

"But Sasuke, what about now!? You're here. She's here. Talk!"

Sasuke turned his head, staring at him with a scorning look. "Keep shouting and you'll wake her, idiot."

Whoops. That's right. It was the middle of the night.

Naruto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. When the metallic screwing of a bottle lid sounded, he glared. Apparently Sasuke found what he had been looking for.

"Really!?" Naruto demanded. "REALLY!?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes, sipping his drink. No, sipping's not the right word. He chugged it.

Glaring still, Naruto yanked the bottle of alcohol from him. A few years back it finally hit him that his old friend partook in one of the three shinobi prohibitions. Just one, but one Naruto had always refrained from. (As for women and him and gullibly loaning money…That thankfully ended after his homecoming from his training with Jiraiya.).

Sasuke on the other hand had apparently picked and kept his bad habit up around his younger teen years. No wonder he was always cranky in the morning.

"Geez, do you always drink at night?" Naruto asked, suddenly enlightened on a few blowups back in the old days. (Never wake an Uchiha. Ever.)

"Give it back," the Uchiha demanded, his only hand reaching for the bottle. Naruto was going to consider his reaction a "yes".

Instead of doing as asked, the blond stepped back. "No!" he said, before giving the bottle a better look. The liquid was crystal clear. "What is this stuff anyways?"

Some part of him, a very dumb part that was in no ways actually being serious, entertained the idea that it could just be water. Water was after all one of the best liquids one could drink, the most vital ingredient in life and the focal point of survival, and Sasuke was a nut for perfection when it came to his body.

Not waiting for an answer, Naruto took a small sip and…

Coughed, nearly spitting it out. Whoo. Definitely not water. Water didn't make his mouth and throat burn. Not to mention it didn't taste like straight up alcohol and nothing else. This was firewater all the way.

He grimaced. He could friggin feel it in his chest. Traveling down like acid. He shuddered. "Wow."

Sasuke smirked. "Over Ninety."

Not knowing what that meant exactly, Naruto shrugged his shoulders, taking another sip, this one bigger than the last. Then coughed again. Ugh.

Sasuke shook his head. "You going to give it back now?"

Not for any particular reason, the Hokage shook his head 'no'.

Without so much of a warning a black eye flashed red.

Subsequently, the bottle hit the ground in less than a millisecond.

"Kami! Don't get so serious!" Naruto complained, turning his head to avoid the Sharingan eye that would no doubt leave him writhing in a world of pain. Had Kurama been awake, he wouldn't even have bothered.

"Then stop bugging me," Sasuke growled, picking the bottle up. Sipping it, he leaned back into a tree, relaxing himself in its protective bark. Years of being on different missions outside Konoha had really…changed him. Though he still could conjure an intense atmosphere with a single fierce gaze, when not in battle he seemed to be…at peace. Free from any burden. Well almost.

Even when relieved of so much of the past, there were now episodes of the present and the future. There would always be Sakura, his inability to surrender to that domestic life again after so long, the fear that it could be destroyed all over again before him, helpless to stop it, his daughter, to do what his family stopped being able to do for him on that fated night; maintaining peace, watching over Orochimaru…and his old guilt. There was a reason why he never got his left arm taken care of when Naruto did his right.

Naruto suspected that deep down, at the time it was Sasuke's way of punishing himself for that final battle. And by now he had just adapted to the appendage being nothing more than a phantom limb, even though they were both at peace with things.

Or course he is. There was no one left for him to extract revenge from.

Sighing, Naruto couldn't help watch him. How did he manage to live on his own all this time? It was killing Sakura. And…after so much strife, Naruto, a little. Of course he would never admit this out loud, let alone to Sasuke. He had on a very few occasions given in to it a little with Hinata, not wanting to confront Sakura about it. He didn't want to hurt his old friend all over again on those long nights.

Too many long nights in fact, Naruto thought. Why can't he just stay home? Or at least stay in contact? On that thought, Naruto plopped himself right next to his friend and nudged him, getting his attention. "So, the current communication network we have isn't working."

Sasuke raised a brow. "You're here aren't you? The bird carrier system is fine."

"No! Get with the times, man, and get you a cell. Or a laptop, I just got one. It's unbelievable how convenient it is with communication. And fast! Maybe if you got one your mission could go faster and you could come back home sooner…Just visit a city with a signal once in a while."

"Even if I got one you'd be the first one I'd block."

"Hick!"

He hadn't said hick.

Sasuke continued sipping. His posture ever relaxed, and dang he was a smooth drinker. The part of Naruto that had to find a way to beat him in all things couldn't help what came next. Gritting his teeth in frustration Naruto whipped the bottle from him and began chugging.

When he could no longer, not without spitting the mouthful out and gagging, he slammed the bottle to the ground between them. His hand cupping his mouth, he asked between stifled belches, "You remember…seeing Kakashi-sensei and Tsunade challenge each other at a game of shots that one time?"

"Did they?"

"Yeah. But you missed it…Where were you? Oh yeah, with that perv that wanted your body."

Sasuke shrugged his shoulders. "And I killed him. Give me another."

"Hey, remember…Wow."

"What?"

"You really look like your brother," he said, staring dumbly at the Uchiha's hair.

"Hn."

"I guess you took care of him too…Gosh Sasuke. Everyone's just dying off or changing or leaving…Man time flies. Years ago I would have never believed everything that happened would have. During the war. Now. Wow. The marriages, the funerals. The fact that we've reached adulthood... Though not in one piece." He laughed at his own comment, then sobered after a minute and drawled, "Time, man. It flies like the wind. Can't catch it."

"Yeah."

Who knew he could laugh about it all now?

The minutes passed slowly as the two young men sat there. The only sounds those of rustling leaves and bugs chirping and the men's slurps and faint breathing. The passing of the bottle and "Remember whens" from Naruto as the liquid carried him further along the currents of his memory and for awhile he happily rowed, carrying the both of them.

Sasuke found it amazing an entire conversation was still going when he was only offering single-worded responses like "Hn", but again Naruto was like that. The only time he said more was when Naruto tried to shift the topic back to his daughter or wife.

"You talk too much," Sasuke said after the bottle had run out and he was finding bed very desirable. And Naruto annoying. Did he ever shut up?

"I talk too much?!" Naruto demanded, words beginning to slur. "You too serious. And you know what else!? You suckkkk-a. You surk!"

"Oh?"

"I hadlf you!"

Sasuke's lips curled in an amused expression. "Are you getting drunk?"

"Of course not!"

"How's that possible with the Kyuubi's constant healing properties?"

"HIS NAME'S KURMAMA. I mean Kurrrsome. I mean Kuurbi…Kurama, dang it. Kurama and you will address him as a Kurbi."

"Your metabolism, on top his acidic chakra, would burn—"

"I don't know man. Call it convenience. Anyway don't you dare try talk geeky on me. And you…Howzitpossible you even…" Struggling with his slurring words Naruto gave up and held his pinky up. "You know." He made a little motion with his raised digit that screamed anything but a pinky promise. Repeatedly.

Sasuke twitched. "Even what, Naruto?"

"Downstairs, y'know. How's a stoic, emotionless, un'passionate jerk like you…even...works and actually bleeds a child?"

"Breeds, you mean?"

"Yeah, bleed."

Sasuke again didn't like where this was going. Face beginning to darken, he hissed, "Just shut up."

"Nah. You shushdup. I'm tired of picking up all the pieces! I mean earlier she was 'friggin wreck! Did you do it? NO! I ain't even her pa, man. I love her as family but you terrible."

"Naruto…" Sasuke said, his tone one of warning.

But Naruto was already on this track and was going to reach the end of it so help him. He was too drunk to know better.

"You'd think with your aban…A bandaid? No…Band…Oh! With your 'bandonment issues you'd want to do better and stay with her, unlike your dad and big bro—"

Drunk, he failed to dodge the glass bottle aimed for his head. It hit and shattered against his skull, pieces flying everywhere.

"OW!" he screamed, rushing to his feet, hands pawing at the red starting to dye his short hair.

Sasuke, too, dashed up. "You know what idiot? You have no room to talk about me! I don't even have to live in the village to know you're a failure as a father. The first huge meeting with the Kage and what's your brat do?"

"Shuddup!"

"Desecrated the mountain, right for all the Kage to see."

"I said shuddup! You wanna know why I was late to that meeting?! I helped him clean it up! I may get busy but at least I come home at the end of the night! And you know what?" Here he crossed his arms, nose sticking up and ego flaring like a peacock. "I even made a second one!"

As if procreating was some challenge and the man who had more nights with his wife was better.

Intoxicated by the fire and rising tension Naruto raised his fist. "Think you got better? Come on!"

"You really want to do this now?" Sasuke hissed, his being seething in annoyance and needing to vent. A desire to move, to hit, to just get him to shut up. A buzz. "Then fine!"

Sasuke's fist sailed through the air only to be caught by Naruto's hand.

Big mistake. The Uchiha sneered, his knee sailing up and catching his opponent in the stomach. The blond doubled over, coughing. Sasuke pulled back, only to grab his weapon, his fingers gripping the hilt of his blade. He boasted. "I still don't need two hands to take you down, dobe."

"And whose fault is that? Teme." Naruto growled, getting to his feet. "If you'd never initiated it we both wouldn't have lost 'em!"

"I never told you to chase me!"

"I'll pound you into the ground!" Naruto screamed. "Now come on!"

The blond rushed toward him, ramming into Sasuke's abdomen like a bull, and knocking both of them down until they were caught in a tangle of limbs punching and kicking at each other viciously in the verdant blades.

"Naruto!" The Uchiha screamed, grabbing the blond by his shoulders in attempt to flip their positions.

"Sasuke!"

One of them, it didn't matter which of the drunk daddies it was, kicked at the ground hard and the movement sent enough dirt into the fire that it smothered the light-giving flames, darkening the area. In the moonlight they fought there, the clearing filling with the sounds of their grunting, hissing, and panting as breath was lost to them there in the dirt.

Their skin becoming slick with sweat from the ever hard alcohol and their petty fight, brought on simply because they were rivals. Their half-uttered drunken threats or exclamations.

"…You won't be able to move when I'm done with you…"

"Oh yeah? Suck it."

"Ahhh!"

It was only when Sasuke succeeded in straddling the very drunk Jinchuuriki that their short match halted immediately with a quiet giggle.

Both boys stiffened at the interruption.

Chocho, very much awake now, sat across them, munching on a bag of chips like it was popcorn and they the movie. She giggled again, a blush betraying her rather warped view of their match. "Lord Seventh, you're so awesome! Just like in the stories I read."

Sasuke grimaced. Being friend to the hero and Hokage of Konoha sucked. Fame sucked.

"Uh, Naruto…" he spoke softly. "Pound me to the ground?"

"Oh my…." Realization dawned on Naruto.

"Perhaps we should better phrase…our threats."

"Agreed," Naruto said. "But better yet, let's save it for later."

For once, Sasuke agreed wholeheartedly and sheathed his previously fallen blade with a clap.

"Hmmm?" Apparently the noise had roused Sarada from her slumber. With a disoriented moan she sat up and reached for her glasses. Before Naruto could move, Sasuke was there, patting her hand, causing it to pause.

"Oh… Dad?" She blinked, obviously struggling to see without her glasses in the night lighting. Her eyes and raven hair so much like her father's while her face was reminiscent of her mother's. The glasses? Naruto had no idea who she inherited her slightly impaired sight from. "Something going on?"

"No. Go back to sleep now. We'll reach your mom in the morning."

The young girl smiled and nodded drowsily. "Yeah…"

Watching him, Naruto nodded in approval and walked to his sleeping bag as Sasuke whispered to his and Sakura's daughter in a surprisingly soft and gentle voice, lulling her to sleep...

Listening to him, Naruto would have never believed that only minutes ago Sasuke was threatening to stab him. And actually tried to.

He sighed, remembering how he used to whisper like that to Boruto when he was just a toddler and the storms came in the middle of the night. But that was before becoming Hokage and his ever growing son graduated from the academy.

He looked to the sky, watching the bright stars. Because his son's age it was probably too late to do that to him anymore, he was too old, but Himawari was just right. He wasn't going to slack off anymore.

Hokage duties can just be second from now on.

It was a start.

They both had a lot to work on. But that was okay. Even as adults they were still learning. Evolving. That was just part of being a human.

Ugh. A drunk one. Geez, in front of the kids too. How embarrassing.

Rubbing his face Naruto quickly reflected how he would have to be sure to watch over his "niece." Sasuke would no doubt be a bit of a bad influence at times on his journey to redemption and improvement.

Meanwhile, as Naruto passed out, over on his own pallet Sasuke was thinking one thing: Ain't no way my daughter is getting near Naruto's brat.

Sadly his wish came far too late. And there would be many more drunk daddies and nights as a result.

TO BE CONTINUED?