If it were me

A/N: This is a story I wrote when I had nothing better to do. Enjoy, Comment and DON'T PLAGIARIZE!

Chapter 1: Muted Screams….of joy.

23rd June, 1991.

A soft glimmer of sunlight penetrated the glass in the window as it made it's way onto the face of our young hero, well he doesn't know this yet, but he is….. A hero.

Harry was awoken by the harsh raps on the door of his room, if you could call a cupboard under a staircase, a room. He sat up and rubbed his eyes to his Aunt Petunia Dursley's high-pitched shriek.

"Wake up Boy, it's time….. GET UP!... UP!" Up here is a word that means 'above', a mere direction that is the supposed way or path to the Heavens. If you take into consideration what Petunia meant then it just is common language for 'wake up' or 'awaken'. Now it was imperative that our Boy should wake up. He was supposed to complete a long list of chores which our character hereby referred to as Aunt Petunia set daily.

Now one might think a hero might be adored or even cared for, but as mentioned before, he, right now, was in a cupboard under the stairs. This hero however doesn't even know he is one let alone be aware of the fact that in his own world he is famous. And for reasons unknown, nobody ever attempts to contact him like fangirls do to celebrities or as stalker-psychopath-serial-killers, their victims. All this is about to end in a few days and even more, so with a less than graceful move, Harry Potter gets out of his bed, out of the dark and cramped cupboard.

He was supposed to, apparently, cook breakfast for his family. He was doing so since he could reach the countertop. It was his cousin's birthday. He went to cooking an English Breakfast, comprised of fried eggs, bacon, hash-browns, tomato, beans, scotch-egg and very commonly sausages and Black Pudding. Furthermore a simple cup of English Tea, mostly Earl Grey with about 2 teaspoons of sugar and a little milk with half-and-half cream. His uncle said he liked it that way.

Dudley had gotten many gifts. He had never gotten one. In fact, he thought he was lucky if he wasn't starved and beaten on his birthday. "How many are there?" Dudley shouted after cou-trying, trying to count the number of gifts as he reached 17 and couldn't go further. "36, counted them myself." Uncle Vernon said proudly. "36! I HAD TWO MORE LAST YEAR!" He shouted. Harry thought that Dudley was being stupid. "Dudders, these are bigger ones than last year" Harry would have scoffed if he weren't afraid of the consequences. Big was an understatement. Amongst the gifts, Dudley had been given a second television, a new computer, sixteen new video games, a gold wristwatch and more. Dudley was mortified that he had one less present and even angry at being corrected. Don't worry Duddykins, when we go out today, we will buy two more presents. How does that sound Dudders?" Aunt Petunia tried to mollify her baby. It irritated him to no end but he kept quiet about it. Uncle Vernon would kill him.

His family consisted of one Vernon Dursely, the head of the family and the breadwinner. He, according to Harry, was a walrus of a man. A word which here refers to an animal that can be found in the cold wasteland-desert of ice in the South Pole in a Continent called Antarctica and are big animals with long tusks that maul penguins for light meals and are dangerous when provoked. This comparison can be seen as a literal metaphor or even a sort of identifier. Next, the previously mentioned, Petunia Dursely, a horse-faced woman who spoke in an unnaturally high voice. Lastly, one Dudley Dursely, best described as an earth-bound whale with less than appealing table-manners. One could go as far as to say he was, in fact, a pig. This is further reinforced by the fact that Dudley was 70% Bacon Strips and 0% Brain. One might even say, comparing him to a pig is an offence to all pigs in the world. This is and isn't an exaggeration. A word which here is synonymous with a certain figure-of-speech, namely, hyperbole.

Be that as it may, neither him nor his father were different from each other. Both were big, no, gigantic bullies that were easy to anger and were difficult. Just….difficult.

He was as intelligent as, in Gordon Ramsay's own words, An Idiot Sandwich.

"Dudley, get the mail son." His uncle told his cousin. Dudley looked angry and said, " Ask the freak to get it!"

At Vernon's pointed look, he shuffled out into the hallway and to the door where he picked up the many letters. He sifted through them. Bills, bills, Marge, more bills, tax returns…..and then, to his surprise, a letter written to him. It was a parchment. Who used those anymore. He heard his uncle in the kitchen hall say. " Boy! What's taking you so long?" He kept his letter into his oversized trousers' pocket. He headed into the room and gave the letters as he went on about his chores that morning, all the while thinking 'Someone knows I exist!' and tried to hide the letter and the smile creeping onto his pale face.

Later that day, he went into his cupboard for his long awaited break. And took the letter from out of his pocket on which he read out., in emerald-green and big letters:

Mr. H. Potter, The Cupboard Under The Stairs 4 Privet Drive Little Whinging SURREY

And on the inside,

HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY

Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore

(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock,
Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)

Dear Mr. Potter,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.

Term begins on 1 September. We await your owl by no later than 31 July.

Yours sincerely,

Minerva McGonagall

Deputy Headmistress

And the next page read,

HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY

UNIFORM

First-year students will require:

1. Three sets of plain work robes (black)

2. One plain pointed hat (black) for day wear

3. One pair of protective gloves (dragon hide or similar)

4. One winter cloak (black, with silver fastenings)

Please note that all pupil's clothes should carry name tags.

COURSE BOOKS

All students should have a copy of each of the following:

The Standard Book of Spells (Grade 1)

by Miranda Goshawk

A History of Magic

by Bathilda Bagshot

Magical Theory

by Adalbert Waffling

A Beginner's Guide to Transfiguration

by Emeric Switch

One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi

by Phyllida Spore

Magical Drafts and Potions

by Arsenius Jigger

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

by Newt Scamander

The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection

by Quentin Trimble

OTHER EQUIPMENT

1 wand

1 cauldron (pewter, standard size 2)

1 set glass or crystal phials

1 telescope

1 set brass scales

Students may also bring, if they desire, an owl OR a cat OR a toad.

PARENTS ARE REMINDED THAT FIRST YEARS ARE NOT ALLOWED THEIR OWN BROOMSTICK

Yours Sincerely, Lucinda Thomsonicle-Pocus Chief Attendant of Witchcraft Provisions.

Harry's eyes almost popped out of their sockets as he thought to himself, 'If this isn't real, it is a bloody wicked prank.' And then came to the realization that Dudley couldn't have made such a thing up. Words like Witchcraft gave him trouble. And nobody else knew he existed let alone think of him worth enough to spend money on such elaborate plans.

He then decided that this must be real and hid the letter under a loose floorboard in his room. He then collected his thoughts together and wondered what they meant by we await your owl...' Did they actually have owls? He pondered for a moment or so before getting out to finish his chores for the day.

_:1:_

A/N: So, what do you think? Should I continue?